Parents pulling back before it's too late - what would you do?

[JumpingBean]

My dd who is almost 9 has been a dancer since the age of 4. That is a part of her identity and kind of the path that I got attached to. Just a couple months ago we switched gyms looking for a rec class that simply better fit our schedule. After one class she got invited to preteam. This was never even on my radar. She is doing 6 hours at the gym now and 7 hours of dance. If made to choose, at this point she would choose dance, but I can see her getting pulled into gymnastics. She is making friends, progressing, getting attached to coaches. She has her first (in house) competition in march that she is really excited about. That is all great, but I see the hours ramp up as the girls progress and I read the experienced moms of higher level girls posting that they don't enjoy their daughters' gymnastics for the worry of injuries. It makes me really worried and kinda wanting to pull the plug before she gets really sucked in On the other hand, she is more athletic than graceful and definitely built more for gymnastics. We are not at a pre-pro or competitive dance school so the hours are not likely to increase much more that what she is already doing, and maybe I am overanalyzing things. She is not even on team and she really is enjoying herself. I also really like the girls she is with - very welcoming and warm to a newcomer, and the coaches - tough but warm. Any thoughts would be welcome

 

[CLgym]

My DD (age 8) is L4. They train 18/hrs a week during the school year. There are two girls on her team (age 8-9) that are/were also in competitive dance. One recently quit dance to focus on gymnastics. The other is still juggling. She misses practices, I think for both dance and gym. She is definitely one busy little girl!

I guess my advice would be to give it more time. Sounds like you are able to make the schedules work for now. Is your daughter tired, or is she able to handle both? If things are OK for now, then I would give her more time to figure things out. Eventually she will have to make a choice -- and at that point will hopefully have the information she needs to know whether dance or gym is her passion.

 

[Gymmommy71]

If dance is pretty much maxed out at 7 hours and your daughter isn't part of a competitive team w/ mandatory practices and competitions that could be conflicts, I don't see much harm in continuing to do both. If at one point she feels it's too much, and wants to quit one or the other, she can.

 

[GymDad9.9]

We were in a situation where my daughter was in dance/ballet, liking it, not loving it and in her pre-school took an afternoon enrichment class for gymnastics and seemingly got hooked. For about two years she asked, then begged, then demanded to do gymnastics. End of dance. Her passion was and is in gymnastics and we give her the support to pursue it; fully realizing the costs, the time (currently considerable) and the priority the sport can sometimes take in family life. Good luck...

 

[JumpingBean]

She is part of the performance company at her studio (they don't have a competition team). They do a lot of community performances and one convention/competition a year. I guess my worry is more about injuries. There are injuries in dance but to the same extent. Given that currently she identifies dance as her passion, I am wary of encouraging something that is a lot more dangerous to take over. If gymnastics was her love from the get go, I wouldn't stand in her way. But given that she already has something she loves and is pretty good at, I am more reluctant. If gymnastics wasn't something your child couldn't live without, looking back, and knowing what you know, would you still have encouraged it?

 

[GymDad9.9]

She is part of the performance company at her studio (they don't have a competition team). They do a lot of community performances and one convention/competition a year. I guess my worry is more about injuries. There are injuries in dance but to the same extent. Given that currently she identifies dance as her passion, I am wary of encouraging something that is a lot more dangerous to take over. If gymnastics was her love from the get go, I wouldn't stand in her way. But given that she already has something she loves and is pretty good at, I am more reluctant. If gymnastics wasn't something your child couldn't live without, looking back, and knowing what you know, would you still have encouraged it?

We haven't, knock on wood, had to deal with injuries. She's been doing gymnastics for two and a half years so far and we recognize the (good) chance of injuries. As a side note, perhaps you want to look at other threads regarding injuries here, lots of varying opinions. To answer your question, we haven't necessarily "encouraged" it, we have fully supported it, but I guess there is some overlapping there. Nevertheless, the answer would be we would have encouraged it still. So much positive has come out of my daughter's gymnastics experience that in hindsight I probably wouldn't have let the two years go by when she wanted to do gymnastics and we didn't acquiesce to it. But that's water under the bridge.

Finally, I will say that Chalkbucket has been an invaluable tool in understanding gymnastics and how it affects and impacts my daughter as well as our family.

 

[MeetDirector]

OP - a warning; this is going to be blunt. If you are going to worry yourself into a dither about the potential for injuries then you might as well wrap her in bubble wrap and keep her at home. There is the potential for injuries, mild to serious, in everything she will do; including dance.

Do gymnasts get injured? Yes. Do all gymnasts get injured? No. The propensity for injuries in gymnastics is not any greater than other sports that involve as much whole body activity and depend so much on timing and strength. Overall, gymnasts are the best all-around athletes you will find. The type of coaching a gymnast receives is directly related to their chance of getting injured. The amount of conditioning and strength and flexibility training is essential to a successful gymnast.

My dd went her entire gymnastics career from pre-school to graduating HS as a Level 10 without a major injury (thank goodness). I attribute this to her coaches and their training program. Now, did she have some bumps and bruises and sprains along the way? Of course and she still has some lasting effects of overuse injuries. BUT - this sport was her passion and there was absolutely nothing that would have kept her from living her passion. And, she has turned into one absolutely amazing young woman with life skills well-beyond her peers (and that doesn't count the incredible physical shape that is still in).

Good Luck.

 

[MuggleMom]

I did gymnastics growing up and got to the point where I had to fully commit or have a social life and I chose the latter. Your daughter will make the same realization at a point and have to make the same decision for herself. I had some injuries none of them too bad (some sprains and broken feet) but I will say that gymnastics best prepared me to be athletic in general--meaning then and now I pick up sports quickly, I do well at the gym, it just gave me so much body awareness that I still use today in my 30s. I am glad no matter how far my daughter goes with gymnastics now she is building strength and body awareness that will aid her in many things to come (be it gymnastics or something else)

I am not sure that's an answer but my advise would be let her follow her path for now--there is still much she can gain from gymnastics before getting to the crazy scary stuff

 

[AgingHippie]

I know your main question was in regards to injury but I would also urge you to really do some research on the time and money commitment as well. It jumps very quickly and before you know it you have a gymmie in love with a sport that can be a bit overwhelming. That is what happened to us. That being said I would not change it for the world. Just be aware.

We took a first time for fun rec class at the age of 8 and now we have an 11 year old optional that is at the gym 18 hours a week and a $650 monthly expense, meet season increases both the time an cost for about 4 months.

DD loves the sport and we love to watch her love something that much so it's all good. I just wanted to mention those things because those are the things that just become part of your daily life, so much more than injuries.

Good Luck at the in house. Let us know how it goes!

 

[MILgymFAM]

My daughters didn't give gymnastics a single thought until middle school. It wasn't on anyone in my family's radar. They both identified as dancers and adored their time in dance. They had practiced between 3-9 hours a week for years, and had even danced in two professional ballet productions. My older daughter was "built for ballet" but my younger daughter was not (she loves it anyway and still has intentions to be a plus sized pointe dancer). They tried gym on a lark (YDD) and a promise to be open minded (ODD). I thought it would be an hour a week and done.

Once gymnastics snuck into our lives (and I feel it was ninja like in its takeover) there was no going back. My girls still dance and still love it, but 20-30 hours of every week is dedicated to gymnastics and dance is a distant second. I honestly preferred when they were dancers. The cost was less, the time was less, the stress was less, the risks were less. So from that perspective I totally get you.

On the other hand, gym has brought out a level of passion and dedication that I didn't even know my girls had in them. They fight for everything they want, every day. I could never shut that door completely. I would say that you're right to look ahead and delve into your commitment as a family. I would also say that for now you play wait and see- because if gym is it for her and dance is not, you will know. It will be obvious and unequivocal what her choice will be. If you don't intend to allow her the choice, then you should stick with rec (or maybe Xcel depending on how that goes around you), and not let her start a path you're not feeling as a mom.

 

[AgingHippie]

That's what I meant, you said that so much better!

 

[cadybearsmommy]

If her dance is 7 hours I think there should be some good gymnastics options for her if she wants to stay in both. Does your gym have an Xcel team? If so, you could steer her that way after pre team, it's a program geared towards lower hours, a bit slower paced, more flexibility, etc. I think it might be a good option for you guys. And the beginner Xcel levels, bronze and silver likely don't have many more practice hours than the pre team you are a part of now. A lot of Xcel teams max out at around 10-12 hours a week even for Platinum and Diamond. Not saying all are this way, but for many gyms they use it as a more "part time" alternative to the high hours of the JO (levels 1-10) program. Wouldn't hurt to ask about this option!

 

[SurpriseGymMom]

I have one dancer (currently competitive, was at a serious ballet studio from age 3) and one Optional competitive gymnast. I have been around the dance world for a very long time, and I coach competitive gymnastics.
Over the years, I have seen several girls who went between dance and gymnastics, some focusing more on one or the other, some trying to do both which is truly only possible up to a certain point. At some point, gymnastics training becomes detrimental to ballet, although I don't think the opposite can ever be said (I'm a firm believer that a weekly ballet class would improve almost any gymmies gymnastics..! ).
I have seen some girls with compulsory level gymnastics training make the switch to dance and do fabulously well in the competition dance area, especially in the junior category where tricks are often more rewarded than pure dance technique.
The thing about competitive gymnastics is that it is a very age dependent sport. You want to get the training in at an early age to truly "have a shot at it". Dance can be returned to and is a much slower boil. You can continue to dance in some form all through life, and although I know there are many exceptions, most gymnasts do not continue very long past college age, if that..!

If it was my kid and she was equally passionate about both, I would allow it as long as possible (finances and time allowing, of course). If there really is only time and money to do ONE, I would probably at this point try JO gymnastics but keep an hour dance class/wk or so. She can always go back to dance next year or in a few years if she changes her mind, whereas competitive gymnastics is much harder to get back into and requires more physical preparation to be safe. (Yes, of course I'm well aware that dance is incredibly physical as well, but slightly easier to maintain with less hours)

Ultimately, it would have to be my DDs choice though. It is, as much as us parents get involved and emotionally invested, THEIR journey. It doesn't really matter how much *I* see my child as a dancer/gymnast/soccer player/artist or how much talent they would be "wasting" by choosing something different if it is not THEIR passion. At the higher levels of pretty much any activity, you need to be passionate about it to want to do it. My girls spend way more time at the studio/gym than they do at home!! There is no way I would let them continue their activities if they weren't 100% into it, regardless of how much talent or whatever they have for it or how much I would love for them to be a dancer/gymnast/soccer player/artist. It has to come from them.
Also, kids change their minds about things. A lot. What they are passionate about at age 8, may be completely over by the time they're 10. Don't let YOUR ideas of a long time passion for your DD interfere with this. 2-3years from now she may no longer be interested in any of these two things but instead want to play volleyball..!

As a side note, it has been mentioned already, but accidents and injuries can happen in any sport. A friends DD just had knee surgery at age 15 from playing soccer. My 15yo dancer has had multiple injuries including hip problems that has required lengthy physical therapy. One of her dancer friends broke her neck (yes, you read that right) doing a simple floor move. She has recovered but was in a neckbrace for about a year... My gymmie has dealth with her fair share of injuries, but nothing earth shattering. Any physical activity has its own risks for injuries as well as for overuse problems. My DH cannot watch gym practice anymore because it terrifies him to watch DD attempt bails and doubleback dismounts on bars as well as flipping vaults. Just too scary for him! I see it all day long and know how qualified the coaches are and how much drilling and shaping goes into everything beforehand, plus how mats/pits are utilized etc all in order to make it as safe as possible. Accidents will happen, but if it's any consolation I have known very few serious injuries to actually happen at gym. Most of our hurt gymmies have been injured outside of gym or doing completely sily things like stepping off a mat or something..!

Best of luck in whatever you two decide. She is so young, you have some time to figure it all out!

 

[gymnastmom05]

I agree with everyone above. I felt like I needed to have my kids sample all different activities. Sometimes you never knew you loved something until you tried it. My DD did dance, soccer and piano along with gym for a few years. Slowly the other activities dropped off. Dance first (it wasn't her favorite) and she kept up with soccer until the practices started overlapping too much. We let her decide and she always chose gymnastics. I feel more comfortable with her making the decision especially since it's such a time commitment. My son currently plays a handful of sports. I enjoy some much more than others (baseball field in the middle of summer - NOT fun) but I just go with it. As long as my kids are focused and having fun (and most importantly, keeping up to their potential in school), I will drive and pay for their activities.

 

[JumpingBean]

Thank you everyone! Lots of great points and perspectives. Interestingly, the same question on a dance forum elicited very different responses, perhaps because gymnastics CAN in fact be detrimental to ballet. My dd is by no means a ballerina so that's not an issue. I am definitely letting her continue as is until the end of this school year. After that we will have to evaluate. The gym does have excel but right now their schedule interferes with dance and she doesn't seem as interested in it. It is structured like a rec class with one teacher, and is 2 hours twice a week. I think she enjoys how different JO training is from anything she is used to: a different coach each rotation and the intensity of it. Again thank you! And I will keep you posted on the meet The way she talks about it you'd think it was the Olympics

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I don't know where you live as in how many gyms are nearby. But it is possible to do gymnastics even on team and not have to do a lot of hours you just have to find the right program for you and your family.

Most of our girls train 12 hours a week during the school year. They do more in the summer. My daughter does 9-10 during the school year averages about 20 during the summer.

No sport is cheap, if you are making a big committment. And no sport (or life for that matter) will give you a no injury guarantee. We has a gymmie break a foot stepping of a curb on her way home from school.

It really is up to your daughter to decide where her passion lies. And then you find the place that works for your wallet and family.

 

[JumpingBean]

Based on what I read on here, I am guessing our gym is already on the lower end of hours: 6-8 a week for pre-team, 12 for levels 4-5, 15 for 6...