Parents Quitting?

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Thank you for your thoughts, triplethreat. If I sign her up for next season I'll have to pay a part of the competition fees, maybe $350. That's non-refundable. So it would be a financial loss. I already lost about that much because the time that it became clear that I had to pull her out was right after I had paid the monthly dues.

It wouldn't be hard to require her to do another sport - she wants to spend every second doing sports. I have the opposite problem, finding a sport that has enough intensity for her but doesn't require me to travel every weekend.
Lol I agree, one of the reasons I like gym over other sports is the lack of driving all over the place! Would dance or acro be an option? Swimming maybe? You really are in a tough spot. Do you think the gym admin would let you hold off on the comp fees for a specified amount of time (say 6 weeks) while your dd gets a chance to feel comfortable?
If not, it does seem like she's not really ready to give gym up and it would probably be best to encourage her through this tough spot.
 
Time, she needs time to adjust.

We did a gym change when my girl was 7. It was the most she ever cried in her life.

Change is hard. And change is inevitable.

My girl adjusted. Been at this gym almost 5 yrs now. There are still girls she misses from her old gym and she is a happy camper with many new friends. And a few have left this gym and she misses them too.

Change is unavoidable. Time will help. Perhaps some get together with old gym friends. Get to gethers with new ones.
 
Thank you all for your replies. We stuck with it. After ten days at the new gym, telling me every day that she was going to quit when the trial period was over, on the last day she finally said, "I'm going to keep doing gymnastics."

Gymmommy71, my daughter wasn't doing gymnastics for the social aspect, but she missed the group at the old gym, and felt nervous about how she would fit in at the new gym, how she would make friends, etc. She has always loved gymnastics, even with the tough coach she had (until the tough coach got worse), and that is why I really didn't think she would be happy with the decision to quit later on.

For those who were discussing the importance of reporting this kind of emotional abuse, I did tell the owner (the coach is only employed there) why we were leaving and what had been said to my daughter. She asked me to given her a written statement. It sounded like she did intend to use to try to make some changes, although time will tell. Parents do often accept poor behavior from coaches. I know where we were, most parents seemed to look at it as something you just had to help your child endure. One person said, when I mentioned that I was thinking of leaving, "Think of it this way. If she can survive this, she'll be able to survive anything."

I do hope with the lawsuits and all that is going on now in the sport, that there will eventually be guidelines that all gyms have to follow to prevent and report abuse, and that there would be a channel for parents or gymnasts to make a report directly. I am really proud of all those gymnasts who have spoken publicly. That must be extremely difficult.

Thank you again. You have been so helpful.
 
It feels so much better knowing that my dd will be treated respectfully. May I also ask - is it common for gyms to require that all family members who are in gymnastics be at the same gym?
 
May I also ask - is it common for gyms to require that all family members who are in gymnastics be at the same gym?
Not around here. I know lots of sibs at different gyms. You send your kid to the place that fits them best.
 
It feels so much better knowing that my dd will be treated respectfully. May I also ask - is it common for gyms to require that all family members who are in gymnastics be at the same gym?

Is fairly uncommon here unless they're different disciplines or programs and the gyms don't offer both, i.e. one boy and one girl or one t&t and one artistic. I know one family that had two JO girls in separate gyms and it didn't work well for them at all.
 
So happy to read your dd is sticking with the sport she loves and good for you for giving your dd a healthy gym environment.
 
Is fairly uncommon here unless they're different disciplines or programs and the gyms don't offer both, i.e. one boy and one girl or one t&t and one artistic. I know one family that had two JO girls in separate gyms and it didn't work well for them at all.
Is fairly uncommon here unless they're different disciplines or programs and the gyms don't offer both, i.e. one boy and one girl or one t&t and one artistic. I know one family that had two JO girls in separate gyms and it didn't work well for them at all.
 
I'm just wondering because I have a daughter in Xcel still at the other gym, and I've been told the policy is that you can't have siblings at different gyms. She has good friends though, and a good coach, and would prefer to stay there, so I wish I didn't have to move her.
 
I'm just wondering because I have a daughter in Xcel still at the other gym, and I've been told the policy is that you can't have siblings at different gyms. She has good friends though, and a good coach, and would prefer to stay there, so I wish I didn't have to move her.
Which gym has that policy -- is it the new gym? I know more than one family in that situation and it is fine for them. It's curious that they'd "require" you to move a child in a different program. What is the reasoning?
 
Some gyms around here will not allow you to have siblings in different gyms if they offer the same program. but if they do not, you can be at different gyms. there are some gyms in the state that will kick out the remaining kiddos if you move one.

It really just depends on the gym's philosophy.
 
It is the new gym that has the policy. I don't know what the rational is, they just told me that they don't allow people to have children in two different gyms. It does seem hard on the sibling.
 
There are couple of parents that I know at dd's gym who have another child, also in JO, at another gym. They've chosen to move 1 daughter and leave 1 daughter, for different reasons. DD's gym allows it, but does not like it. Of the families that I know in this situation, I think that if the gym has not allowed it, more would not have transferred their one kid out, so such a policy might have helped them retain some gymmies. I think the gyms don't like it because it gives parents a close up look at another program, and allows them to actively compare the programs over a longer period of time.

I've talked to one of the parents in this situation and she said she has found it very interesting to compare how the gyms are similar and how they are different. She said that there is no clear cut "better" gym and both have negatives too, but she has found that one gym just works better for 1 kid and the other for the other kid, at least for now. She said it has opened her eyes to how things can be different at different gyms.
 
One of our former gyms does have a policy about siblings needing to be at the same gym, and it's a bummer. Different gyms sometimes really cater to different programs/types of gymnasts so I feel like it is limiting for the kids to require that they all be at the same gym.
 
Yes, it is unfortunate. I feel bad that I can't give my older daughter the choice of whether to stay or move. But my younger daughter is over the hump and loving gymnastics again, so that is great to see.
 
Give her a timeline. Agree to revisit the topic in a month or six weeks. During that time, have her tell you a few positives and one thing she could do to make the situation better after every practice. Invite a new teammate out for ice cream or a play date.

During the next month make a list of other activities she want to try. Investigate other athletic options like dance or diving. Then don't let her quit until you have a plan in place to cope with her excess energy.

i agree with all of this - great advice!
 
One of our former gyms does have a policy about siblings needing to be at the same gym, and it's a bummer. Different gyms sometimes really cater to different programs/types of gymnasts so I feel like it is limiting for the kids to require that they all be at the same gym.
that's crazy!

we have a lvl 3 mom with a lvl 4 at another gym. i don't know why but it works for them.
a friend of mine has her dd at one gym and sons at another but given it's a boy/girl team, not as big a deal.
 
i am so glad the OP reported the behavior to the owner/head coach. they may not know what is going on with their other coaches/behavior. if they start to lose business, they need to make that behavior stop. some will and some won't. not sure why those who won't, don't. some of it may be due to a shortage of coaches.
 

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