Parents Sending DH to the meet tomorrow

[my4buffaloes]

We don't frequently all go to dd's meets, because it is hard on the other kids. The ones close by we will all go sometimes. While I love spending all that time with dd sometimes I feel I am missing too much at home to be gone for 8-12 hours on a weekend. After the last meet I got so frustrated with the scoring that I decided to send my husband to the next meet. Is that bad? I don't want to become emotional over my dd's gymnastics and sometimes I am just baffled by the scoring and at the last meet I let it upset me. So, now of course I am having a hard time not going to the meet LOL I can't win!

Dd is excited though because at the last meet she got her first 9 on floor and can now make up her own ending pose. She can't wait to surprise her dad. I wish I could be there too, but there is too much going on with the other kids. Ugh, it will be a long night while I wait on updates. Does anyone else get tired of going to the meets and send their husband?

 

[Quadqueen]

It is tough when you have other kids to consider. Typically, my husband and son (6) and I all go to DD's meets....most are within a couple of hours of home. If they are very late or very early though, I go alone with her. Or, if my son has practice himself or something, my husband will stay home. But, both my husband and I like to go to the meets, so he is often disappointed if he can't go! I honestly don't know if I've ever missed a meet, although I have offered to stay with my son a few times. I understand your frustration about the scoring...but I think it would bug me more not to be there!!

 

[ellabella]

I get the problem of not going so you get to see your other kids, but I have to say I find the idea of missing your daughter's meet because the scoring frustrates you completely ridiculous. It's just a gymnastics meet! Who cares about the scores! You can't control them. I see have seen so many parents get upset at meets over scores. I have seen grown women cry actual tears and pout because they didn't think the score was correct.

Parents are not the best judge of what a score should be. Most parents have absolutely no idea what all the little deductions are. It makes me sad when parents ruin a fun experience for their kids by focusing on scores. I'm not saying you are doing that, but other parents do.

 

[KarenUK]

I like to try to get to all of DD's competitions if I can - the one time I didn't go there was a photographer and she was mortified at having action shots taken while she had 'daddy hair'! It can be difficult when you have other children to consider - my middle son is a competitive judo player, we have twice had a clash and ended up with me at the gym comp, and DH at the judo comp, texting each other updates!

 

[MaryA]

I think that, if you're getting caught up in the scores and they're starting to make you crazy, it is perfectly fine to take a break. I'm sure you'll enjoy your time with the other three kids and your DD will enjoy the alone time with Dad. I've never missed a meet, but next year my other DD wants to try out for the competitive dance group, so if she makes it and there is overlap, we'll just have to switch off.

 

[GymnastJoy]

From your username sounds like you have three other kids. Certainly shouldn't feel guilty missing an event of one of them.

I go to all dd's meets because I enjoy it (don't get worked up about results) and quite frankly, couldn't trust my husband . Actually, he is supportive and means well, but just doesn't get it. But thinks he does. He will do things like talk too much in the stands while other are videoing next to us, cheer at the wrong times, ask why they all have the same routines even the older girls, etc. And if he takes one more picture with his phone that cannot turn off the flash...don't even get me started.

Seriously, sounds like you dd is excited, your husband is capable, and you could use a break. Don't sweat it.

 

[gymmomtoo]

I try to avoid missing any of DD's meets--I love going and watching the gymnastics. If the scoring is bugging you that much, it's wise to take a step back.

 

[Empowered]

I hate scores and I hate that my daughter loves and competes in a sport that is so INSANELY subjective.

Yes we parents may not know every single deduction, but for anyone to sit here and say that scoring in gymnastics is always fair and correct is delusional. I can see why you would get frustrated. Any parent/coach/gymnast who sits on this board and tries to proclaim that they've never been frustrated by a score is likely lying. It's human nature... even the most detached mellow parent has seen their child compete a routine and thought... WTF did the judges watch when the score was posted.

But while all that might be going on in your head, you just gotta put on that smile, seethe internally for a second and let it go because prolonging the frustration isn't going to change the situation and will only drive you nuts in the long run.

Okay all that being said, so long as your daughter isn't disappointed that you aren't going, I think it's fabulous that she'll get a one on one meet with Daddy to show him how great she is. I would love to one day send my husband alone with our daughter to a meet, however she would likely show up with her hair undone in the wrong leotard because, well... he's a guy and frankly he's lost without my guidance... HA!

 

[my4buffaloes]

I get the problem of not going so you get to see your other kids, but I have to say I find the idea of missing your daughter's meet because the scoring frustrates you completely ridiculous. It's just a gymnastics meet! Who cares about the scores! You can't control them. I see have seen so many parents get upset at meets over scores. I have seen grown women cry actual tears and pout because they didn't think the score was correct.

Parents are not the best judge of what a score should be. Most parents have absolutely no idea what all the little deductions are. It makes me sad when parents ruin a fun experience for their kids by focusing on scores. I'm not saying you are doing that, but other parents do.

yep, I have no idea what I am looking at as for as deductions and what is a good routine - I will be the first to admit it. My husband likes to go to her meets sometimes too and with 3 other kids we just can't all go. It is a combination of reasons why I am not going. The scoring got to me and I need to distance myself from it and some of the other moms that get upset. I am trying not to get sucked in!

 

[my4buffaloes]

I hate scores and I hate that my daughter loves and competes in a sport that is so INSANELY subjective.

Yes we parents may not know every single deduction, but for anyone to sit here and say that scoring in gymnastics is always fair and correct is delusional. I can see why you would get frustrated. Any parent/coach/gymnast who sits on this board and tries to proclaim that they've never been frustrated by a score is likely lying. It's human nature... even the most detached mellow parent has seen their child compete a routine and thought... WTF did the judges watch when the score was posted.

But while all that might be going on in your head, you just gotta put on that smile, seethe internally for a second and let it go because prolonging the frustration isn't going to change the situation and will only drive you nuts in the long run.

Okay all that being said, so long as your daughter isn't disappointed that you aren't going, I think it's fabulous that she'll get a one on one meet with Daddy to show him how great she is. I would love to one day send my husband alone with our daughter to a meet, however she would likely show up with her hair undone in the wrong leotard because, well... he's a guy and frankly he's lost without my guidance... HA!

They aren't staying over night and I will do her hair before she leaves. It is a 2 hour drive, so not a big deal but added up it will be a 8-10 hour day and my other kids just wouldn't last for that. I am glad my husband wants to go sometimes (not all the time!) because some dads never go.

 

[bookworm]

Well I've been in the sport for over 12 years and just this year I almost had to send my husband with my daughter to an away meet...and she was horrified! He generally doesn't come to the meets until it's States , Regionals and Nationals but as one other poster said, he just doesn't get it ...and you'd think that by now he would. Comments like "gee do you think she just doesn't have her head in the game today?" (while my daughter is standing there! and usually has done rather well) or my all time favorite, when we called him after she won at Nationals "She won!!" ...his comment "what was her score?" ...uh, does it matter? because she won!! In retrospect, that was our most pleasant experience AT Nationals, come to think of it..

Your daughter will be fine with your husband, but don't be surprised if she has a totally different experience than with just you or the both of you.

 

[Krystan]

They aren't staying over night and I will do her hair before she leaves.

This is key for us! As long as daddy doesn't do the hair, she's fine with the rest! As a nurse, I *have* to work every other weekend; therefore I miss at least a few meets a year. She hates that I can't go to all of them, but she totally understands. If I worked during the week, I wouldn't be able to homeschool, so she gets the trade off. But - since I work 3-11, I can usually get her hair done, thank goodness!

I certainly wouldn't worry about missing a few meets all. You need to think about your other children AND yourself. Plus, I think your dd will enjoy telling you all about it when she gets home!

 

[SignHere]

How nice that she can go to a meet with Dad and be excited about it! We have quite a few girls on our team whose parents have to switch off, and a few girls (in multi-gymmie families) who have gone with teammates or coaches to meets. Not the end of the world ... And if there is a "mom-worthy" emergency, someone steps in! I've actually done girls' hair during registration so they don't have "daddy hair".

As far as judging, the code of points is fairly objective, in that the routines are being judged against an "ideal" ... However, most deductions area UP to 0.1, 0.2, 0.3. Etc rather than a flat deduction, and if 2 girls make the same error, the judges may deduct less from one girl's score if her overall routine is better than the other girl's routine, so there is quite q bit of subjectivity in that.

You can either try not to pay attention to score at all, or you can really try to educate yourself about them. it is actually quite interesting.

 

[my4buffaloes]

How nice that she can go to a meet with Dad and be excited about it! We have quite a few girls on our team whose parents have to switch off, and a few girls (in multi-gymmie families) who have gone with teammates or coaches to meets. Not the end of the world ... And if there is a "mom-worthy" emergency, someone steps in! I've actually done girls' hair during registration so they don't have "daddy hair".

As far as judging, the code of points is fairly objective, in that the routines are being judged against an "ideal" ... However, most deductions area UP to 0.1, 0.2, 0.3. Etc rather than a flat deduction, and if 2 girls make the same error, the judges may deduct less from one girl's score if her overall routine is better than the other girl's routine, so there is quite q bit of subjectivity in that.

You can either try not to pay attention to score at all, or you can really try to educate yourself about them. it is actually quite interesting.

I am trying to learn what I can about scoring, but sometimes I just am really baffled. In this particular instance, dd's routine looked as good, if not better than it normally does and she got 1/2 point lower than she normally scores. It was a clean routine, no falls or obvious mistakes. I figured scoring must just be hard with those judges, as dd is very consistent. She was followed by a girl who fell off and scored the exact same as my dd. At that point I decided I will never understand LOL.

 

[wallinbl]

Wow! You'd think that we men were totally useless!

 

[Quadqueen]

I am trying to learn what I can about scoring, but sometimes I just am really baffled. In this particular instance, dd's routine looked as good, if not better than it normally does and she got 1/2 point lower than she normally scores. It was a clean routine, no falls or obvious mistakes. I figured scoring must just be hard with those judges, as dd is very consistent. She was followed by a girl who fell off and scored the exact same as my dd. At that point I decided I will never understand LOL.

Were the judges consistently scoring lower at the meet where she scored .5 lower than normal? That's what I would look for. For example, DD recently scored 8.6 on her L5 vault...one of her best, and one I thought would have scored higher at any other meet. But the judges were consistently tough. She ended up in 3rd place with that score and there were no 9s on vault!

As far as a kid falling and still getting a higher score than your DD, look at it this way: if your DD makes just two or three tiny mistakes, in which the judges take .2 or .3 off, and that girl didn't make those mistakes, it makes sense. But it's frustrating, I agree!!

 

[Quadqueen]

Wow! You'd think that we men were totally useless!

Well, when it comes to hair.....!!

 

[my4buffaloes]

I am rethinking sending dh to the meet! I am getting virtually no updates (only a text with nothing but the apparatus and score and he won't answer his phone.) and he said he messed up the video so there is no recording of her floor. ugh! men!

 

[SignHere]

Not to be repetitive, but ... a fall is a flat 0.5 deduction. But for rhythm and continuity, the judges can take UP to 0.1 PER element AND for EACH SERIES and then an additional 0.7 for the total exercise. so,if a gymnast has a technically perfect routine, but it's not fluid enough, some judges may take off quite a bit. and that's just one thing they are looking at ...
I' m not even mentioning the shoulder angle (up to 0.3), hand placement on tumbling passes (0.1 flat deduction) or hollow body position (up to 0.2) ...
And you didn't"t say what apparatus this was on, so I gave examples from all 4. But see what I mean?

Usually, the big discrepancies in scores mean National level (brevet ) judges. they tend to score harder. As long as All the scores are lower than usual, just explain to your DD that she cannot control how she scores at meets, so she needs to set goals that are under her control ... Staying on beam, sticking a landing for bars, getting a 360 degree turn on floor without a wobble, etc.

 

[kiwiflyer]

Well, when it comes to hair.....!!

In defense of men and hair, I injured myself one day and couldn't do my own hair for work. My brother in law came to the rescue with two neat and tidy braids that stayed in for the duration of work ~4hrs of coaching.

And to OP - I think you've made a good decision and you're preventing becoming a 'crazy gym mom'.