Parents She's been invited to join pre-team....now what??

[notthatmom]

so now that my daughter has a new coach, it didn't take long for her (the coach) to notice DD's potential. Today coach recommended DD start pre-team in November. I'm ecstatic!!! I really wasn't expecting this to happen until about a year from now, so I was nowhere near prepared to adjust to the new time and money commitment.
I feel like I'm in a bind. I want more than anything for DD to move on in gym, and DD is super stoked. I just don't know if I can afford it yet, and since I work full time, getting her to practice is going to be a logistical nightmare, I can talk to my boss about that part though.
I guess my question is, for families that have both parents working full time, how did you make it work for your child? Are there ways that any of you raise extra money to help pay for gym?
I don't want my daughter to be held back in gym just because I can't do this for her. I want to figure out a way to make this possible for her.


Any tips? Thanks in advance!!!!

 

[MILgymFAM]

If I can ask- and I am not being sarcastic, I swear- what would be different next year that would make it simpler? I know for us the logistics have been easier- I don't work and I am the only one in our household with access to a car. The money aspect has been tough from the beginning, though. If we were filling out a form and had to check a box, it would almost always be the low income box. My DDs started gym in a non-profit gym. They asked for, and we're lucky enough receive, a scholarship. I have gathered from this site that our situation was exceedingly rare, but I do think it's a little more common for parents to trade office work, coaching, or cleaning for tuition discounts. Maybe you could help while you would be there with your DD anyway? I know it's hard, and gymnastics is a ridiculously expensive sport, but preteam is the cheapest that team participation is ever going to get, so if its definitely too much now (and you can find a work around) it may be better to not start the road. I know for us, we moved and now I pay for one DDs team training (the other has an academic scholarship that covers hers), and I sometimes kick myself in the butt for even letting them start this path. Best of luck!

 

[notthatmom]

If I can ask- and I am not being sarcastic, I swear- what would be different next year that would make it simpler? I know for us the logistics have been easier- I don't work and I am the only one in our household with access to a car. The money aspect has been tough from the beginning, though. If we were filling out a form and had to check a box, it would almost always be the low income box. My DDs started gym in a non-profit gym. They asked for, and we're lucky enough receive, a scholarship. I have gathered from this site that our situation was exceedingly rare, but I do think it's a little more common for parents to trade office work, coaching, or cleaning for tuition discounts. Maybe you could help while you would be there with your DD anyway? I know it's hard, and gymnastics is a ridiculously expensive sport, but preteam is the cheapest that team participation is ever going to get, so if its definitely too much now (and you can find a work around) it may be better to not start the road. I know for us, we moved and now I pay for one DDs team training (the other has an academic scholarship that covers hers), and I sometimes kick myself in the butt for even letting them start this path. Best of luck!

Next year, my younger daughter will be in full time school instead of daycare, so what I will pay for before and after care next year will be less than half what I pay for daycare now, making it extremely easy to pay for pre-team, with a cushion of funds left over for when ODD advances to team levels.
I can definitely ask the gym about the option to do work in the gym to offset tuition costs, not sure if that's something they do there but it definitely wouldn't hurt to ask.

 

[MILgymFAM]

Next year, my younger daughter will be in full time school instead of daycare, so what I will pay for before and after care next year will be less than half what I pay for daycare now, making it extremely easy to pay for pre-team, with a cushion of funds left over for when ODD advances to team levels.
I can definitely ask the gym about the option to do work in the gym to offset tuition costs, not sure if that's something they do there but it definitely wouldn't hurt to ask.

Ok, that makes tons of sense then. I would ask, and if they say it's not possible, I would just wait the year. Waiting a year to make it easier on the whole family seems like a better choice than struggling for a year, and won't hurt your DD in the long run. Best of luck!

 

[notthatmom]

Also, a year from now per my husbands boss, and the direction his position at work is headed, I'd be able to work part time instead of full time, meaning transportation to practice wouldn't be an issue.
For now I'm just going to have to see if my boss would be ok with switching my hours around 2 days a week, but I feel like it's a lot to ask considering what I do for the company.

 

[notthatmom]

Ok, that makes tons of sense then. I would ask, and if they say it's not possible, I would just wait the year. Waiting a year to make it easier on the whole family seems like a better choice than struggling for a year, and won't hurt your DD in the long run. Best of luck!

Is it silly of me though to think waiting (now that she's been offered the opportunity) IS going to hurt her in the long run? She'll be 7 in March, meaning she'll be nearly 8 when she ends up in pre-team. I also don't want it to mess up her chances of the gym working on her skills just because we don't put her in pre-team right now. Ahhh I don't know. It's all so unexpected and my brain is going nuts.
Please just ignore me if I'm not making sense

 

[MILgymFAM]

Don't worry, you're making sense because we're all a little nuts. That's why we are here instead of blissfully unaware like most of the gym parents I have ever met. Obviously I do not think 8 is too old to start a gym career, but then my girls started at nearly 11 and 12.5. What it is like where you live? Is it one offer and then done? Do they have girls that go right to team without doing preteam? What level does preteam feed in to? Are there older girls competing in compulsories? We have run against a LOT of age discrimination (for lack of a better term), but then my DD is 14 and has yet to compete a single JO meet, so it's a little different than your situation. We also live in a very "serious" region for gym, and gyms can be just as choosy as they please. To me, 7/8 both seem like perfectly reasonable ages to start.

 

[needcoffee]

No advice, but my dd didn't set foot in a gym until she was 9. She's not even 11 yet and finishing up her level 5 season.

 

[notthatmom]

Don't worry, you're making sense because we're all a little nuts. That's why we are here instead of blissfully unaware like most of the gym parents I have ever met. Obviously I do not think 8 is too old to start a gym career, but then my girls started at nearly 11 and 12.5. What it is like where you live? Is it one offer and then done? Do they have girls that go right to team without doing preteam? What level does preteam feed in to? Are there older girls competing in compulsories? We have run against a LOT of age discrimination (for lack of a better term), but then my DD is 14 and has yet to compete a single JO meet, so it's a little different than your situation. We also live in a very "serious" region for gym, and gyms can be just as choosy as they please. To me, 7/8 both seem like perfectly reasonable ages to start.

I'm hoping it isn't one offer and done, I'll talk to the gym about it next time I'm there so I know what all my options are. Pre-team feeds into team placement, the majority of the kids will go to level 3, but if they have l4 skills and meet the age requirement it's possible they can skip 3. They have had girls go right to team without going to preteam. It's all based on coach discretion really.
I feel like our gym has relatively younger girls in all the levels, but there are some here and there who are "older".
So I'm probably worrying for nothing, and if I can't make it work now, at least I know the gym knows she's team material. I just wouldn't want to sabotage (maybe that's the wrong word) her chances of getting to team faster.

I'll buy a lottery ticket today...that's my plan b on the regular.

 

[duyetanh]

This might sound like a bizarre question but is she an only child? If so, I say try your best to make it work. If not, I say wait the year, as you would have more than one schedule to juggle.
And LOVED milgymfams comment about how we r all crazy...because while I conduct the train, I do ride it occasionally...

 

[notthatmom]

This might sound like a bizarre question but is she an only child? If so, I say try your best to make it work. If not, I say wait the year, as you would have more than one schedule to juggle.
And LOVED milgymfams comment about how we r all crazy...because while I conduct the train, I do ride it occasionally...

She's not the only child, I have another daughter who is 2 years younger (who isn't in gym, but in dance one day a week). I don't think that's a bizarre question at all, you have a great point.

And also, I'm glad I'm not riding the crazy train alone

 

[duyetanh]

Well the darn autocorrect screwed me again...I do NOT conduct the train bahahaha....

 

[strawberries]

While we're all trying not to be too crazy, gymnastics is a young sport, and sometimes a year can make a bit of difference. Within reason, I think it could be worth trying as many options as possible to make it work this year, including asking the gym if there is a hybrid option (half pre-team, half current class), asking about working in the gym to help pay for gym (already mentioned), checking if other parents live in your area and could carpool, and even re-evaluating your current job in terms of costs (daycare, wardrobe, gas, etc.) vs. reward, to see if something part-time (or in the gym) could turn out even more economical.

Good luck on the decision, and congrats on your daughter's invitation to pre-team.

 

[gymdog]

It would be ideal to start to immediately. If you decline now, it might make a difference in whether she's even invited again. If you can't do it this year, make sure to talk to your gym about doing it next year so they know you want to do it (a lot of people decline preteam because they don't want to ever do it, so then the gym usually doesn't invite them again).

If you can't start immediately, I don't think it's going to doom her to never getting far or anything. But it's just not ideal. Also check the range of ages on your gym's preteam. I personally don't have a limit but some gyms only take 4-7ish. Just try to get all the info.

As far as transportation, you could ask the gym about carpooling, they may be able to tell you if another girl on team goes to your daughters school. Then maybe you can arrange a carpool where one mom drops off and you pick up. The gym may have other teams other than preteam that start and end at the same time.

I think asking about working at the gym is a good idea. Would your daughter practice on Saturday? Maybe they need office staff or people to train for preschool classes. Of course I guess if you have to get childcare for your younger daughter then it might not really be worth it.

 

[notthatmom]

While we're all trying not to be too crazy, gymnastics is a young sport, and sometimes a year can make a bit of difference. Within reason, I think it could be worth trying as many options as possible to make it work this year, including asking the gym if there is a hybrid option (half pre-team, half current class), asking about working in the gym to help pay for gym (already mentioned), checking if other parents live in your area and could carpool, and even re-evaluating your current job in terms of costs (daycare, wardrobe, gas, etc.) vs. reward, to see if something part-time (or in the gym) could turn out even more economical.

Good luck on the decision, and congrats on your daughter's invitation to pre-team.

Thank you! I think looking into my current job situation and other options is a really good idea. Honestly if my work commute wasn't as horrible as it is, this wouldn't be as big of a problem. I'm going to start exploring my job options and see what else is out there.
As for doing hybrid, I'm not sure that would really work very well, since right now she's in the beginner rec class, and it's going to seem strange keeping her there with the other beginner kids (the coach even told me today that she has already been purposely doing more advanced skills with DD, which is how she ultimately came to the decision that she's ready for pre-team)

It would be ideal to start to immediately. If you decline now, it might make a difference in whether she's even invited again. If you can't do it this year, make sure to talk to your gym about doing it next year so they know you want to do it (a lot of people decline preteam because they don't want to ever do it, so then the gym usually doesn't invite them again).

If you can't start immediately, I don't think it's going to doom her to never getting far or anything. But it's just not ideal. Also check the range of ages on your gym's preteam. I personally don't have a limit but some gyms only take 4-7ish. Just try to get all the info.

As far as transportation, you could ask the gym about carpooling, they may be able to tell you if another girl on team goes to your daughters school. Then maybe you can arrange a carpool where one mom drops off and you pick up. The gym may have other teams other than preteam that start and end at the same time.

I think asking about working at the gym is a good idea. Would your daughter practice on Saturday? Maybe they need office staff or people to train for preschool classes. Of course I guess if you have to get childcare for your younger daughter then it might not really be worth it.

The pre-team practice days are only on week days, but if they do need Saturday help, I do have a husband at home who can be at home with the girls so that's always a possibility.



Both of you have great insight towards my concern about waiting a year, I want to make this happen right now for her so much. I hope I'm able to figure something out!!

 

[LJL07]

I agree with above. I would try to make it work now esp if she's 7. Both my husband and I work. I would suggest trying to find a carpool, enlist a grandparent or relative, hire a college girl to pick up/drop off. If you think it's logistically hard now, it only gets harder when they are on team and the days/hours increase. And the cost just snowballs. Sorry if that sounds a little negative, but I agree that 8 is getting on the old side for preteam. Good luck!

 

[notthatmom]

I agree with above. I would try to make it work now esp if she's 7. Both my husband and I work. I would suggest trying to find a carpool, enlist a grandparent or relative, hire a college girl to pick up/drop off. If you think it's logistically hard now, it only gets harder when they are on team and the days/hours increase. And the cost just snowballs. Sorry if that sounds a little negative, but I agree that 8 is getting on the old side for preteam. Good luck!

I don't think that's negative at all, it's the honest truth! I was seriously not expecting them to move her up so soon, which is why I feel like this is more difficult to figure out.
This forum though is so amazingly helpful, and my nerves are in check now thanks to all of you

 

[GymAuntie]

Is it silly of me though to think waiting (now that she's been offered the opportunity) IS going to hurt her in the long run? She'll be 7 in March, meaning she'll be nearly 8 when she ends up in pre-team. I also don't want it to mess up her chances of the gym working on her skills just because we don't put her in pre-team right now. Ahhh I don't know. It's all so unexpected and my brain is going nuts.
Please just ignore me if I'm not making sense

I have a niece in gym, and trust me I get what you're asking. She's only 5, but we're struggling with whether to put her in preteam now or wait another year. She is not even in school yet, and there's still all these decisions. I will point out that we have a very unique situation. Where my sister lives there are only 2 JO gyms in her metro area. One of them has preteam for 5-6 YO only! After that you've aged out. We're waiting to hear from the other gym, but it appears their pre-team class is 4-6 YO. So in my sister's area no way could we wait until 8 or 9 for pre-team. She'd be washed up.

If you happen to be in an area where there are tons of gym options, you might have more flexibility. I think I'd evaluate things where you live and maybe go observe a pre-team class at your gym to see how old the girls are. It also wouldn't hurt to float the idea to your daughter to see if she even wants to devote 4 or more hours a week to gym. My niece does. She's quit all her other activities and so now we just have to decide when to go for it.

 

[notthatmom]

I have a niece in gym, and trust me I get what you're asking. She's only 5, but we're struggling with whether to put her in preteam now or wait another year. She is not even in school yet, and there's still all these decisions. I will point out that we have a very unique situation. Where my sister lives there are only 2 JO gyms in her metro area. One of them has preteam for 5-6 YO only! After that you've aged out. We're waiting to hear from the other gym, but it appears their pre-team class is 4-6 YO. So in my sister's area no way could we wait until 8 or 9 for pre-team. She'd be washed up.

If you happen to be in an area where there are tons of gym options, you might have more flexibility. I think I'd evaluate things where you live and maybe go observe a pre-team class at your gym to see how old the girls are. It also wouldn't hurt to float the idea to your daughter to see if she even wants to devote 4 or more hours a week to gym. My niece does. She's quit all her other activities and so now we just have to decide when to go for it.

I totally meant to respond to this before and completely forgot! I wanted to answer your question about DD wanting to do this. She absolutely wants to. This is her sport, not mine, and I constantly ask her if this is still what she wants to do. The answer has so far always been yes . I told her it's going to be a lot of work, and I would have to try and figure out how to coordinate it all, but if that's what she wants I'll find a way to make it happen, then she told me I'm the best mom I the world <3. When I told her about possibly switching gyms though, she wasn't too happy. She was like "I don't want to to gymnastics for anyone else" (I don't want her to either, our gym is amazing, lots of elites, L10s, and many who continue to college teams)
I'm pretty sure we'll get to stay where we are, but I know for sure she wants to peruse this, so that's what we'll do!