So Disappointed with Anna's Gym.

[ejgymmom]

I'll warn you in advance that this will be long...

I found out about a month or so ago that Anna's entire pre-team group (about 15 girls) were going to be moved up to Level 4. I was completely shocked because I never in a million years thought she was ready. For one thing, she's 5. She's got most of the Level 3 skills but they're usually not pretty. She has a lot of work to do on form. She's probably middle of the pack in her group as far as how well she's doing. There are a couple of girls who can still barely do cartwheels and decent handstands...so I thought it a bit odd that they were moving everyone up.

We got the official invite about a week or so ago by email. After looking at the costs and huge increase in hours (1.5/day to 3.5/day) we decided to keep Anna back on pre-team. She's so young still, at 5, so really...what's the rush, right? So as exciting as it felt to have Anna invited to Level 4, I felt that it was best for our family to leave her at pre-team.

So. Fast forward to this week. We were told that there would be no practice this week and Level 4 would start next week (assuming that everyone was moving up to Level 4). Another parent who I'm friendly with and who is also wanting to hold her daughter back had emailed the head coach asking if she could bring her daughter for pre-team practice since they weren't moving up. The coach said yes but it was likely she'd be the only one there....and she was. They apparently tried really really hard to persuade them to move their daughter up, but they held their ground. They asked one of Anna's coaches if they'd have practice Thursday (today) and were told yes, and that another child would be joining them who was in their group and not moving up. So she called me and told me that I should bring Anna.

So I show up with Anna and the lady at the front desk tells me that the two coaches called in and said they weren't coming in because there was no pre-team practice....and that there probably wouldn't be for the rest of the session. Whaaa?? And that was the start of a whole frustrating evening at the gym. They ended up letting our 3 girls practice with a different coach for an hour (not even the full hour and a half). The head coach and owner were out of town at a meet..so we couldn't even talk to them. Towards the end of the hour, the two coaches showed up (to teach other classes), saw we were there but didn't say a single word to us. We got the cold shoulder. It felt horrible. The three of us felt like outcasts for not wanting our daughters moved up.

I walked out of that gym feeling just horrible. These coaches have been with my daughter since September...I've talked to them numerous times..and we don't even get a "Hi, how's it going?" or even a "Why aren't you letting Anna move up?" Nothing.

It made me want to cry, to be honest. I love that gym. Everyone was always so nice...I guess until you go against their advice. It was just so frustrating.

So we're looking at other options now. I think she would have the same pre-team coaches if we stayed and I'm just not sure I want that. Ugh.

So so sorry this was so long. There's a lot more that I didn't include because it would have made it even longer. If you made it this far, I applaud and thank you.

 

[agymmom]

I'm sorry you're dealing with this, it's definitely not a fun spot to be in. Did you ever explain to the coaches why you didn't want Anna moved up in the first place? Maybe they're just feeling hurt and defensive based on a perceived slight by you. Even though we (the parents) are technically just paying customers, I get the feeling our kids are much more than that to a lot of the coaches which could be causing some of your problems. Another possibility is that the coaches didn't want a pre-team class for the summer and having just a few kids is really messing up their plans.

If it were me, I would probably make one attempt to talk to the coaches to sort this all out before moving on because you never know if it's just one big misunderstanding.

I know some kids handle it just fine, but my dd is a year older than yours and a 3.5 hour practice really would not be fun for her now and would have been neither fun nor productive for her a year ago.

Good luck with whatever you choose!

 

[gym law mom]

I agree with Agymom. I would try and set up a short meeting with at least 1 of the coaches to discuss keeping your dd in pre-team which I think is a very smart call on your part. Sounds like they had some schedule all figured out(which didn't include pre-team) becasue they thought everyone would jump at the chance to move to L4---ready or not.
Wouldn't there be new girls moving to pre-team at some point?
As a parent it is certainly your right to say, no, not yet. Much better to take it slow, have her get her skills and be able to compete(age/skill wise) than just rush into something and have dd and the family upset.
If the coaches don't want to meet or just keep trying to push to L4 then I would go looking at other options. This is the time of year when many kids switch gyms and since dd wouldn't be competing in the fall, you have some time to check things out and find another place that works well.

 

[bar princess's mom]

I would be disappointed in how the gym handle the your decision and the pre-team sessions but before you write them off, I would suggest speaking to the coaches. If they aren't going to have pre-team through the summer, maybe she could train with the 4's through the summer and move back to pre-team in the fall. You might be surprised how she progresses and handles the increase in hours. My DD was a 5 yr old Level 4 last summer and fall. She turned 6 halfway through the season and competed the 2nd half. I was concerned with the hours also but she handled it fine but she was always asking to go to the gym more anyway. She is also a determined little thing. You didn't mention in your post your DD's attitude re: practice, etc. That should be the biggest factor in deciding whether to move forward at this age. Are they enjoying themselves and do they want to be there?

 

[JBS]

We got the official invite about a week or so ago by email. After looking at the costs and huge increase in hours (1.5/day to 3.5/day) we decided to keep Anna back on pre-team. She's so young still, at 5, so really...what's the rush, right? So as exciting as it felt to have Anna invited to Level 4, I felt that it was best for our family to leave her at pre-team.

Just to clarify. Was the email an invite to L4...or was it just a new practice schedule that the coaches are expecting the gymnasts and families to adopt?

Many times it is very difficult for coaches to get something out of their head (myself included). They probably thought the whole team would love to move up and had plans already set. Take some time and talk to the coaches/owner...I'm sure you will be able to work something out. Most clubs are somewhat flexible. One thing to remember though...just as families have certain times that they are "ready" or "not ready" to do certain things...so do clubs. It may take some compromise.

 

[lhmom]

Actually, the first thing that crossed my mind was maybe they didn't want to have pre-team practice this summer, just team. Who knows, maybe it was a scheduling issue? It sounds to me that deep down, you feel she's not ready and you know your child better than anyone. If it were me, I would ask to meet with the person in charge to clarify things. It may be that they want the girls to get in more hours over the summer, then go back to pre-team hours in the fall. My DD is doing something similar (extra hours this summer then back to regular schedule in the fall). Good luck!

 

[ejgymmom]

Thanks for the responses. I did talk to the head coach via email and would have talked to him further yesterday if he was in the gym. I explained the reasons why we weren't moving her up and that cost was the main issue. I mentioned that I knew that there were others that weren't going up and that I thought it was the best option for our daughter right now. He pressed us to try it for the month of June and also told me that I was the only one holding my daughter back, which I knew wasn't true and I knew that at least one other parent had emailed him at that point. I responded back and told him that a trial month wouldn't make a difference one way or another. My daughter probably would love it, though might get tired and cranky towards the end, but in the end it's still a money issue. He again tried to press me to do a trial month and reduced the trial month rate to the pre-team rate for June.... And he again told me the none of the other parents had come to him wanting to hold their daughters back. I was getting frustrated because I knew that was a flat out lie and he just wasn't understanding that even if he reduced the first month's rate, the next month pretty much triples and we just couldn't do it.

We initially weren't sure about practice this week because we were all told that Level 4 would have the week off and would start the week of 5/30. He didn't mention pre-team which is why the other parent ended up bringing her child. There was some confusion on Tuesday about whether pre-team was practicing, but the coaches were there and one of them coached her daughter and told her to go ahead and bring her on Thursday. (She had already paid through July, which might have had something to do with it as well.) There was no mention of no pre-team for the whole session until we were all there on Thursday. They do have new girls moving up to pre-team and we were told on Thursday that they would start it next session (near the end of June).

The communication is just really bad. No one seems to have any idea what's going on. They don't know for sure who is coaching. They don't know if it's going to be the same days. It was just really frustrating.


JBS, yes the email was an invite. It had all the girls' names listed who were moving up along with their practice days and times. At her little meet last Sunday she got a certificate showing that she was moved up. I'm sure they expected everyone to want to move up but I have a hard time believing that we're the only ones who have ever decided not to move up in all the years this gym has been around. It's just weird.

Anyway, thanks again for the responses. I am going to try to talk with him again next week I think. Hopefully I won't feel bullied into trying out Level 4...because that's how it was starting to feel in the emails.

 

[GymGirl's Mom]

I would try to not get upset until you are able to get some clarification from the owner/head coach/big chief in charge. I would ask what the plans, practice schedule and who the coaches are for the pre-team not competing level 4 class. I would try to schedule this meeting asap-- call and schedule a conference-- if that doesn't work track this person/these people down at the gym if you have to and ask face to face to set up a time to meet.

Hope you can get it all worked out to your satisfaction. I would not jump ship yet. I would give the gym a chance to get all the summer schedules and plans together- but I would not wait more than a week or two tops to be given an answer as to the plans for those children not going to level 4. If you are paying for a class that doesn't exist and they are willy nilly throwing any coach in there and not even giving her her hours I would be upset too and be seeking some clarification.

 

[ejgymmom]

I would be disappointed in how the gym handle the your decision and the pre-team sessions but before you write them off, I would suggest speaking to the coaches. If they aren't going to have pre-team through the summer, maybe she could train with the 4's through the summer and move back to pre-team in the fall. You might be surprised how she progresses and handles the increase in hours. My DD was a 5 yr old Level 4 last summer and fall. She turned 6 halfway through the season and competed the 2nd half. I was concerned with the hours also but she handled it fine but she was always asking to go to the gym more anyway. She is also a determined little thing. You didn't mention in your post your DD's attitude re: practice, etc. That should be the biggest factor in deciding whether to move forward at this age. Are they enjoying themselves and do they want to be there?

I'm fairly certain that working out with the 4's isn't an option without paying the same rate they are. My daughter loves gymnastics. She does a couple of other activities as well and in the past few weeks I've asked her if she could only do one thing what would it be and the answer is always gymnastics...so she does love it. I don't know that I see the drive in her yet to do well though. She's not one of those kids who will work work work until she gets something. Sometimes if things are too hard she does give up. I think at this point as long as she's in the gym she doesn't care if it's 1.5hrs/day or 3.5hrs/day. It's enough for her to just get in the gym to do gymnastics. If she was begging me to do level 4, that would be a different story I think, but she's not. She knows that some kids are going to do Level 4 and some aren't and she has yet to ask me if she can do Level 4...she just kind of goes with the flow and is happy with it. I expect that next year she'd probably start asking.

 

[my4buffaloes]

Well, that is just...weird. One things I have learned though is that frequently it is about the logistics of the gym, not about the girls. It might be time to look around and check your other options. good luck!

 

[cher062]

If it really is a money issue then if you felt your DD was ready you still wouldn't want more hours and unfortuantly moving up means more hours and more money. it sounds like your family is not financially prepared to go down the financial route of being a team family more than anything.

I hate e-mails as you can read them what ever way you want with what ever tone you want and not everything is said that needs to be said. You need a face to face to really go over things. Honestly I would have tried the 1 month at the lower rate just too see if for sure my DD wasn't ready. You would be surprised how quickly over the summer they get those skills and confidence. It always surprises me whn my DD couldn't even walk accross the floor one day and the next doing flips and layouts the next.

From what I am reading it sounds more like you want a more advanced gym program than rec has to offer so you went pre-team but that usually means at some point you trust your gym and coaches to know when your DD is ready for the next step. at 5yo is usually the time they start L4 if they will be 6yo at some point during the upcoming season. So I really don't see anything unusual.

The times you have indicated were the times my DD did way back when my DD was a L4 just starting out too. Now at L7 moving up to L8 (crossing fingers there) she is there 5 days a week for 4 hours a day except on Sat where its 3 hours.

Being on a gym team is a family affair. There is a huge financial and time commitment to go down the Team path and I have to say it really takes over - I know as I had a son and daughter on team for many years and that was hard.

it sounds like if your gym has it that a Pre-Op program might fit your needs better. Usually its cheaper and less hours but they still get to do some competition. Have you thought about that as an option?? even if its at another gym.

 

[cathiann]

I agree with Cher--moving her up at this point and age is a fairly typical progression. But, if money is an issue--will it change in the next year or is there a point in keeping her at pre-team, when you will have the same money issue next year? Have you checked out other gyms in the area that might have cheaper options for you--long term? I know Team is a huge financial commitment--just increased my own hours at work so we can continue to pay for it!

 

[Deleted member D3987]

wait and talk to the owner upon their return.

 

[gymdog]

5 years old is really young. I don't think people should feel pressured that this is the "normal thing" and they must move their 5 year old up. Personally I never have had a reason to move a child younger than 6 to level 4.

I find their behavior bizarre and unwarranted from what you describe. I really don't see how their reaction adds up. But I would try not to make any rash decisions like leaving really soon. Wait for the dust to settle a little.

In your shoes I probably would have made the same decision. It is one thing to save up the money as you expect it, and it's another to see your kid is just getting the skills, doesn't seem like the competition level 4 routines will be ready in the next few months, and assume you will have another year to prepare.

 

[cher062]

I think the OP's dd would be 6 by the time they competed next spring? so moving up now is the norm for all the gyms in my area. Most of the gyms I know of have pre-teams and the 5yo who will be 6yo in the upcoming comp season are usually moved up unless they really don't have the ability to do so. Then in the fall they just train the level they will compete. As I said from all the gyms I have seen in my area this is the norm.

 

[ejgymmom]

She will be 6 in October and would probably miss a meet in the fall I was told, but their main season is the spring.

I think I would have been perfectly fine if the only thing that happened would have been for the coaches to be a bit baffled that we (and the others) didn't want to move up yet. And I would of course accept that they would try hard to get me to move her up. For me it was the bad communication that was going on where we're hearing different things from different people and being lied to and then the attitudes of her coaches and some of the other staff. All of that together is what has made me so disappointed with how this whole process has gone.

I also think that if I had had any idea at all that they would move the group up we might have been able to prepare for it. I would have bet a lot of money that they wouldn't have moved most of her group up. COACHES, is it typical to move up children to Level 4 who can barely do a cartwheel and don't have a great handstand, or who can't do any of the level 3 bar routine (including the pullover) without assistance? I understand that they have until next spring, but these are kids who have been working at it since last fall... That just doesn't seem normal to me.

At this point I'm fairly certain that she will be going to Level 4 next summer/fall so we do have a full year to wrap our minds around it and prepare and I'm certain that we can make it work if it's something she still wants to do at that point. Unfortunately, along with all of these factors and the timing of it, we just can't make it work right now.

I am going to make an attempt to speak to the head coach next week, but this whole thing has just left me feeling really bad.. We'll see how it goes.

 

[ejgymmom]

I think the OP's dd would be 6 by the time they competed next spring? so moving up now is the norm for all the gyms in my area. Most of the gyms I know of have pre-teams and the 5yo who will be 6yo in the upcoming comp season are usually moved up unless they really don't have the ability to do so. Then in the fall they just train the level they will compete. As I said from all the gyms I have seen in my area this is the norm.

Do you know what skill level they usually require for kids to move up? Do they want them to be able to do all the skills for the Level 3 routines before moving up? There are only a couple of girls in my daughter's group (and my daughter is not one of them) who have all of the level 3 skills. My daughter has most, some of the girls aren't even close. Yet they moved up the whole group. Is that normal? Maybe it is and I just really don't understand how it all works.

 

[NewtoGym]

So sorry to hear you are dealing with this! At our gym you have to have all your level 3 skills in order to move up to level 4. They want the child to feel confident and challenged, not overwhelmed! We had 4 or 5 girls that were invited to move up to level 4 that decided to stay in level 3. Only one of them is 5. The others are 6 and 7. I don't believe it should be based on age obviously. The child (and the parent) need to feel confident and comfortable in the child's skill in order to successfully progress! Gymnastics is a sport that is based on progressive skills, so by not being proficient in the current level seems to put thte child at a severe disadvantage when they move up a level. It is too bad your gym is discontinuing the level 3 program (from what I understand). I know my dd loved competing this level and has gained so much confidence in the year she competed it that now when she moves to 4 she is very excited and she feels secure with herself and she trusts her coaches. I have no advice, but just wanted to let you know that other gyms in the area do offer something for everyone! I hope things work out for you and Anna!!!

 

[gymdog]

The skill level you describe is not typical. The bare minimum would be able to do a pullover and back hip circle on bars. On floor, cartwheel on both sides, and roundoff, and bridge kickover. If those are good enough it is possible they could learn a RO BHS in 4-5 months. It's also possible they might not.

In my state there were about 15 6 year old level 4s at the state meet...there were way more 8 year olds. Only TWO 7 year old level 5s.

Perhaps it is the norm in some places but that still doesn't explain the behavior.

 

[gymmutti]

If I personally had to make the decision to move to team when my daughter was 5, it would have been very tough. It can be so hard to know whether to really commit your daughter to competitive gymnastics when they are young. Our team doesn't start until level 5 and the youngest girls moved had just turned 7. There is a big difference between 5 and 7, IMO. I will say that when our girls were invited to team and we met with the HC, they told us two things: 1) joining team at L5 does not mean that you would be ready to compete by the fall and that the decision on how many meets, if any, a child competed would not be made until mid-summer. If you didn't compete, you would not have to pay the costs for leo, warmup, meet fees, etc. 2) If, as a family, you decided that moving up to team and the additional costs (and even without the competition costs - they definitely moved up!) and hours were not something that as a family you could commit to - you could not remain on pre-team. The pre-team spots were already filled by children moving up from the lower level pre-teams or from the rec program. That being said, our coaches do not move up all the children in a level at once. They definitely take into account the skill level of each child and only move up the children that they feel are ready both skill-wise and attitude-wise.
I agree with the other posters that you should talk face to face with the coaches. I know at our gym the front desk does not always know what is going on in regard to the schedules for our team; they are more knowledgable about the rec program and can easily mis-communicate whether a pre-team or team level practice was taking place or not.
Good luck!