WAG Spotting on high beam

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gymmomtotwo

Proud Parent
DD had a slip of hands on high beam a couple of months ago and has lost her backhandspring. She does it fine on low beam, a little higher crank beam, and can not take it higher. Neither of her coaches will spot her at all on beam, yet there are other kids that do get spotted from time to time, This has been going on for months DD does not understand why some get spotted and some don't. Coaches say she is perfectly capable and will do it when she is ready. They don't pressure but they dont really support either. I dont watch practice, or put pressure on, but have to listen to the vent on the way home. Is this common coaching practice? If this continues, I fear it will chase her out of the sport. She is 10. She has asked repeatedly for help, and is told no.
 
I guess it depends on what your definition of support is.

To me a spot means coach doesn't think you can do it. Is that support? And that is what I tell my kid, should it come up.

I am not a watch a lot parent. I get moments. Our coaches do not typically spot on high beam or on floor after L2. They do spot bar. And even when you are capable they will spot bar in practice.

Daughter is L5/IGC Silver. New to BHS on beam. She lands it and BHS BHS as well. But it was a process. Coaches do not spot high beam. They selective spot girls who are close to skill but not yet there or have significant issues. If they feel they can do it, no spot.

Typically its floor beam. Low beam. Mid to high beam with mats. Then without. If our coaches are not confident you can land it, you don't move from floor beam. After that it is a head thing regarding how high the beam is and if mats are there or not. So the very very very rarely spot (did I say rarely). If they are spotting you it is typically floor beam because you don't have it yet.

I usually stick to things like..... trust your coach, its between you and your coach. Take as long as you need but you and the coach know best. And what does the coach say? Oh they think you can do it. Well then just go for it when you are ready.

Really as a parent I have no idea what each individual kid needs and my kid doesn't either. I am very confident that my kids coaches wouldn't have her do anything she is not ready to. So it is truly up to her and her coaches. And I am confident if my kid needed a spot she would get it.

So its honey I understand your frustration, you need to trust yourself and the coach. I might encourage asking for mats on high beam, but that is something our coaches would be OK with but they will never ever encourage.
 
That has pretty much been my approach. You need to follow the coaches. They know what you are ready for. This is a lost skill from a scary miss your hands incident. It is a skill she had done in competition before in Level6, She had a bwo bhs combo. She was totally set for Level 7, and that has been wiped away. She is ready in all other events. She wants someone next to her when she tries it on high beam. One day one of the soft hearted coaches spotted her once, and after that she did several in a row by herself. She wants to be spotted once so she can get used to the beam, and then she says she will be able to do it, cause she did it that way the one time. She is not even asking to be touched. Just someone to stand there in case something happens. Is that being spotted? What is the best way to get over fear? I wish I knew. In her mind it worked once. One spot/coach stands next to the beam and then I could do it. She has it in her head that approach works. And part of me is kinda like, what could it hurt to give it a try? Day after day after day.
 
Ok me thinking out loud. She was spotted once and then she did it. Her brain needs to make that connection. You cant do it for her. She was spotted once and then off she went.

I think lots of Hmmm, Ahhhs, I see. You'll get. ..... and hugs
 
They won't get the skills this way. It's better for her to stay on the lower beams until she's ready and her confidence is back. They may be spotting the other kids to help them make a correction. If being spotted was enough for her to get it back, she would have it, because she's been spotted. But she doesn't have it. That's fine, but she just needs to work her way back up. Repetition will build confidence. The WORST thing to do is to have her on a high beam where she can only go when...xyz happens. It will be one step forward and two steps backward. They can actually get worse fears by doing this.
 
They won't get the skills this way. It's better for her to stay on the lower beams until she's ready and her confidence is back. They may be spotting the other kids to help them make a correction. If being spotted was enough for her to get it back, she would have it, because she's been spotted. But she doesn't have it. That's fine, but she just needs to work her way back up. Repetition will build confidence. The WORST thing to do is to have her on a high beam where she can only go when...xyz happens. It will be one step forward and two steps backward. They can actually get worse fears by doing this.
Yes yes yes yes yes!
 
Thanks all. I guess it is good to know that this is how most coaches would handle this. I am not sure she will ever get the confidence back to go for it, as she has been stuck in this spot for a long time. It gives me an understanding why so many exit the sport at such young ages. She wasn't even hurt. 6 months ago, she was in the hunt for level 8 (she loves vault and wants to do her tsuk). Now it appears she will need to do 6, and miss the travel meet, which starts at level 7. I will keep my mouth shut and keep on keeping on.
 
Thanks all. I guess it is good to know that this is how most coaches would handle this. I am not sure she will ever get the confidence back to go for it, as she has been stuck in this spot for a long time. It gives me an understanding why so many exit the sport at such young ages. She wasn't even hurt. 6 months ago, she was in the hunt for level 8 (she loves vault and wants to do her tsuk). Now it appears she will need to do 6, and miss the travel meet, which starts at level 7. I will keep my mouth shut and keep on keeping on.
To play devil's advocate, I do understand the spot once and walk away in terms of helping the mental state, mainly because no one is touching her, they are just standing there....and if it really mentally is what your child thinks will work, it probably WOULD work, and she would be able to gain her confidence back and move on. My dd, newly nine, had a similar situation like that with a different charming trick on beam. The damn bwo, which is nowhere near as scary, however trust me when I say her heinous fall was. And yes, each practice for about a week, once she got it back to high beam, one of the coaches would stand there....first for a few reps, then one....after a week, she was back on target. Coaches never stood there again. She didn't need them to anymore.
Sometimes, there are kids out there that just need that bit of reassurance mentally to make it on their own. Some call it a crutch. I do not...particularly if they are younger children. Yes, I get that this sport ages our kids before their time, but 10 years old is not very old. Now if they stood there every darn day for weeks on end, hell yes I would think it was a crutch, and a problem too! For my child, it lasted 5 practices, and was done....I know all this because my child likes to use me a therapist in the car on our long ride home, so she spews out the practice details while eating dinner, and I drive the car and try and make irrelevant comments like that's nice dear, or that sounds cool/interesting (I am waiting for the day when she shares nothing, I know once puberty hits it is possible...right now she babbles away). I credit the coaches with knowing my child well enough to know what she needed. And it gave mine the confidence to go for it on her own. I should add that each day the one "watching" stood a bit further away...until on the 5th day the "spotter" wasn't actually spotting at all, lol...

The fact that she has been stuck in the situation for a long time means something probably does need to change. Is there any chance of a private, where she could gain more confidence? Have the levels been decided for her team? Any chance of talking with the coaches, or are they unapproachable? I do get that every coach out there has their own philosophy. It sounds like your child is doing great, and I am sure she wants this badly, so it is really messing with her emotionally.

I am sorry for her angst, and your situation. Sending good thoughts...
 
Mine fell on Monday doing her BHS........just like that......poof, no more BHS.
Understandably.
I know she will be fine. I know this won't stop a thing for her. Does she need time? Yes. Might she need some accommodations over the next few practices? Yes......this should be no problem....and like you said duyetanh, coaches should help......by NOT helping, or becoming the brick wall, it could make a simple thing much bigger. I believe spotting has its place.
Years ago, my son was having some swinging issues on high bar. I told him that 'I heard' that if you strap your grips on really tight, you will go really high.......he believed it and guess what happened at the meet? It's so mental, isn't it?
 
I did ask a couple of weeks ago, and was given the answer above about if you aren't ready to throw it alone, you aren't ready for high beam. The levels aren't set until the early Nov. She loves this gym, I love this gym. The gym loves her. I've always trusted the coaches but in my gut, and knowing my kid, I think they are using the wrong approach. I think if they gave the this approach for a few days, it might actually work. If it didnt, she wouldn't be any worse off than she is now. It is hard to maintain a neutral facade watching your kid struggle. I am out of options at this point without getting nasty, pushy and crazy gmish.
 
Please correct me if I am wrong, but didn't you say they did spot her and she flipped it and then did more on her own?
 
To play devil's advocate, I do understand the spot once and walk away in terms of helping the mental state, mainly because no one is touching her, they are just standing there....and if it really mentally is what your child thinks will work, it probably WOULD work, and she would be able to gain her confidence back and move on. My dd, newly nine, had a similar situation like that with a different charming trick on beam. The damn bwo, which is nowhere near as scary, however trust me when I say her heinous fall was. And yes, each practice for about a week, once she got it back to high beam, one of the coaches would stand there....first for a few reps, then one....after a week, she was back on target. Coaches never stood there again. She didn't need them to anymore.
Sometimes, there are kids out there that just need that bit of reassurance mentally to make it on their own. Some call it a crutch. I do not...particularly if they are younger children. Yes, I get that this sport ages our kids before their time, but 10 years old is not very old. Now if they stood there every darn day for weeks on end, hell yes I would think it was a crutch, and a problem too! For my child, it lasted 5 practices, and was done....I know all this because my child likes to use me a therapist in the car on our long ride home, so she spews out the practice details while eating dinner, and I drive the car and try and make irrelevant comments like that's nice dear, or that sounds cool/interesting (I am waiting for the day when she shares nothing, I know once puberty hits it is possible...right now she babbles away). I credit the coaches with knowing my child well enough to know what she needed. And it gave mine the confidence to go for it on her own. I should add that each day the one "watching" stood a bit further away...until on the 5th day the "spotter" wasn't actually spotting at all, lol...

The fact that she has been stuck in the situation for a long time means something probably does need to change. Is there any chance of a private, where she could gain more confidence? Have the levels been decided for her team? Any chance of talking with the coaches, or are they unapproachable? I do get that every coach out there has their own philosophy. It sounds like your child is doing great, and I am sure she wants this badly, so it is really messing with her emotionally.

I am sorry for her angst, and your situation. Sending good thoughts...
This is what I was going to say. The girl isn't even asking for a "real" spot, just a mental one. She wants a coach to stand there for the first one. She demonstrated before that she can do it if that happens.
On beam, mental spots are even allowed in meets, but she isn't asking for that... Just for a practice or two.
 
I don't know...confidence is built in many different ways. Repetition, success, praise, fighting through, etc. I think the coaches are being a little stubborn. Why not give her a few more spots to see if it does the trick to get her back on track? I just don't understand sometimes why coaches think there is only one way to approach a problem. I get there is a philosophy that LOTS of spotting leads to reliance on spotting, but I don't think that is what we're talking about here.
 
Please correct me if I am wrong, but didn't you say they did spot her and she flipped it and then did more on her own?
I did say that. It was a non beam coach (one of the head coaches) passing by. He saw her standing there, asked her what she was working on, spotted her once, moved on to wherever he was headed and she did several more on her own. She says she needs one spot "to get used to the beam" because she insists the low and high beams are different widthso_O, and then she can do it. This is set in her head. How to get her over that so she will do it on her own, without looking overly invested myself so that she feels pressure from me, I have no idea. This is all from the mouth of a 10 year old, I've been avoiding the gym to take any pressure off from me watching.
 
They might be different widths. We have a training beam that is wider.
 
I did say that. It was a non beam coach (one of the head coaches) passing by. He saw her standing there, asked her what she was working on, spotted her once, moved on to wherever he was headed and she did several more on her own. She says she needs one spot "to get used to the beam" because she insists the low and high beams are different widthso_O, and then she can do it. This is set in her head. How to get her over that so she will do it on her own, without looking overly invested myself so that she feels pressure from me, I have no idea. This is all from the mouth of a 10 year old, I've been avoiding the gym to take any pressure off from me watching.
I so get this...it is such a mental sport in SO many aspects. I think you have handled it great. Honestly coaches aren't robots. There have been times my dd's have done things that left me frustrated or head scratching...but I respect them, and think they are awesome. Forgive me for prying, or being stupid (was up from 12 a.m. to 5 a.m.....), but I am wondering when you nicely asked them. If it was over a month or so ago, I honestly see nothing wrong with revisiting it again nicely, because you obviously AREN'T a cgm who site and stares for x amount of hours a day with beady eyes, calling out corrections and stressing out your child..I would ask how it was going, and is she making any progress on it...and if there was any kind of alternative they could offer in the meantime, seeing as she has everything else...sometimes the mere offer of an alternative makes the scary thing not scary at all...if you know this would be a no go, then I would nicely ask how things were going.
My two cents, fwiw...I know some coaches feel very strongly about this....sometimes there is no way around it. My child will likely repeat a level because of one skill, because the skill just isn't consistent yet (but we keep hoping it gets there). Totally different reason, obviously.

Have you tried any visualization cds?
 
It timed out before I could edit, but I wanted to say that spotting like this is not the gym's philosophy when it comes to learning a skill or relearning after typically 'regular practice' falls or absences from gym. But in the case of a major fall with an injury resulting, yes, it is there if the child needs it to get over the hump...and it is indivisualized....one size doesn't fit all.
 
OP I apologize...I see where you said you asked a few weeks ago, so asking again wouldn't be something I would do either...how long has it been going on? And would your dd be receptive to positive reinforcement through cds, etc? I know my friend swears by the head games cd for her 12 year old....mind you, if your child is in the lovely stage called puberty, she is having enough head games of her own...but it is an idea.
 

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