Parents Success without pre-team?

[Sdnmom]

My daughter is 6 years olds. At the beginning of the summer she got moved to level 2 and at the same time the coach recommended her for pre-team and said she had great potential. At the time, the days and times for pre-team didn’t work with our schedule so I asked if we could continue with Rec level 2 through the summer and then move to pre-team. At the end of the summer I asked a different coach about it and she said she wasn’t ready. I was confused because I would think after 2 months she would be more ready than before but I accepted it and we have continued with level 2 rec. Fast forward to today and I had a chance to observe the pre-team class while we were at the gym for something else. The original coach who recommended pre-team was there so I asked her about it and she said she didn’t think my daughter was ready and that now she’s already getting too old for it (she will be 7 in February). Now I feel like I made a horrible mistake not putting her in when I had the chance. I believe if my daughter would have had the additional classes, conditioning, and better coaching of pre-team she would be far better than she currently is. I feel like she hasn’t progressed as much in the rec class partly because of the coach and partly because being in class with older girls who are not looking to be serious gymnasts is not motivating to her. I feel she would excel more in a more serious class with girls her own age. Anyway, that was the long backstory! My question is- is she doomed to never become a successful gymnast because I stalled? Or are there other routes? Should I bring it up again or respect the coach’s opinion?

 

[NutterButter]

Lots of kids don't do pre-team. My DD didn't even start in rec until age 8 which she did for two years before a year of Xcel Silver before moving to JO. Your DD is not too old though some gyms will consider her to be too old for pre-team already. I would bring it up one more time and also be prepared to look for another gym.

 

[Seeker]

She’s definitely not too old, but she needs to be at a gym that will allow her to be in the proper training group.

 

[raenndrops]

I would look around for other gyms. If you are in an area with a lot of YMCA teams, you may want to look there too.
At our gym, we don't even have a pre-team and we have girls who are successful ... we have 3 girls that COULD be Level 9 IF they wanted to (and for 2 of them, if they hadn't gotten injured in cheer 2 years in a row just before competition season).

 

[Flippin'A]

Did all of the pre team girls start together two months ago? It's possible they bring in a new group at the same time every year and now it would be difficult for someone without those months of more intensive work to come in. I know it's frustrating, but remember that women's JO doesn't have any upper age limits. She's definitely not too old to do competitive gymnastics, but if you're at a particularly strict gym she might be too old to do it there. I say talk to the coaches about her odds of going to team without pre team, and if they don't sound good, start shopping around. There are tons of gyms out there with looser age requirements, and tons that don't even have pre team. Two months was never going to make or break her gymnastics prospects, you might just have to get a bit more creative about finding the right opportunity.

 

[Aussie_coach]

It depends on the gym.

Did the coaches say why she is not ready?

 

[Sdnmom]

Thanks everyone! I went ahead and emailed the coach today to find it some more info and I’m waiting to hear back. I’d like to stay at this gym if possible for the convenience factor plus I’ve been happy with it up to this point. One of the main reasons she gave for not being ready was because she got scared doing something new yesterday. It was a handstand to flat back from the high beam into the pit. She cried a little bit right after but I think she just didn’t know what to expect. It’s the first time she’s ever gotten scared and I guarantee if they had her try it again she’d be fine.

 

[Aussie_coach]

Fear is one of the big things coaches look for in team gymnasts. They might throw a bit of a scary challenge at the kids and see how they react.

 

[Sdnmom]

Fear is one of the big things coaches look for in team gymnasts. They might throw a bit of a scary challenge at the kids and see how they react.

Huh, I know they look for fear, but I didn’t think about them “testing” them like that! I hope that didn’t ruin her chances because she’s never gotten scared like that before. I also hope it doesn’t mean she isn’t cut out for competitive gymnastics!

 

[MILgymFAM]

Huh, I know they look for fear, but I didn’t think about them “testing” them like that! I hope that didn’t ruin her chances because she’s never gotten scared like that before. I also hope it doesn’t mean she isn’t cut out for competitive gymnastics!

My DD is a fearful, anxious person. She was definitely told that this made her a poor fit for competitive gymnastics, but she’s never let that deter her and she’s had a great run of gym. She’s a senior now and I’m grateful that she was able to persevere despite the naysayers. No, she’s not a top level or anything special in terms of her gymnastics, but she’s passionate and happy. Don’t let the opinions of a single coach or gym (or even more than one) deter your DD from trying for what she wants.

ETA: and my DD was obviously ok without preteam, as she started rec at 12.5 years old!

 

[gymgal]

Huh, I know they look for fear, but I didn’t think about them “testing” them like that! I hope that didn’t ruin her chances because she’s never gotten scared like that before. I also hope it doesn’t mean she isn’t cut out for competitive gymnastics!

My dd had more fears and was more cautious when doing new skills than others on her team, particularly tumbling. Thankfully we had started in a gym that was very flexible and they worked with her. She was 7yrs old when on preteam. She is now a multi-year L10 and plans to compete in college. No, it is not too late for your dd and her "fears" won't keep her off team. Depending on how the coach responds, I would be more direct in asking what they are looking at when determining a potential gymnast for team (age, talent, focus, fears, commitment), what they see as barriers for your dd, and whether she has a chance for their team. When you declined that pre-team spot, they may have taken it as lack of family commitment, even if you provided an explanation. The reality of competitive gymnastics is that family schedules have to revolve around the gym commitments. Some gyms take this more seriously than others, particularly in the beginning. Given what they have already said about her age and "fear" (most little ones would be fearful of that drill on first try), it would not surprise me that they took your declining the offer as a sign that you were not committed to the team.

How does your daughter feel about being on preteam/team? Does she want to do it? Was she aware it was an option? If she is happy where she is in the rec classes, I am not sure I would pursue another gym, since you have been happy with this one up until now. If she wants to pursue competitive gymnastics (or you want to keep that option open for the future in case she does want to compete in the next couple of years), then you may need to search for another gym that will give your dd a chance.

 

[Sdnmom]

My DD is a fearful, anxious person. She was definitely told that this made her a poor fit for competitive gymnastics, but she’s never let that deter her and she’s had a great run of gym. She’s a senior now and I’m grateful that she was able to persevere despite the naysayers. No, she’s not a top level or anything special in terms of her gymnastics, but she’s passionate and happy. Don’t let the opinions of a single coach or gym (or even more than one) deter your DD from trying for what she wants.

ETA: and my DD was obviously ok without preteam, as she started rec at 12.5 years old!

Thanks that makes me feel better! I need to remember that it’s okay if she isn’t “the best”, as long as she’s happy!

 

[Sdnmom]

My dd had more fears and was more cautious when doing new skills than others on her team, particularly tumbling. Thankfully we had started in a gym that was very flexible and they worked with her. She was 7yrs old when on preteam. She is now a multi-year L10 and plans to compete in college. No, it is not too late for your dd and her "fears" won't keep her off team. Depending on how the coach responds, I would be more direct in asking what they are looking at when determining a potential gymnast for team (age, talent, focus, fears, commitment), what they see as barriers for your dd, and whether she has a chance for their team. When you declined that pre-team spot, they may have taken it as lack of family commitment, even if you provided an explanation. The reality of competitive gymnastics is that family schedules have to revolve around the gym commitments. Some gyms take this more seriously than others, particularly in the beginning. Given what they have already said about her age and "fear" (most little ones would be fearful of that drill on first try), it would not surprise me that they took your declining the offer as a sign that you were not committed to the team.

How does your daughter feel about being on preteam/team? Does she want to do it? Was she aware it was an option? If she is happy where she is in the rec classes, I am not sure I would pursue another gym, since you have been happy with this one up until now. If she wants to pursue competitive gymnastics (or you want to keep that option open for the future in case she does want to compete in the next couple of years), then you may need to search for another gym that will give your dd a chance.

I just feel so guilty that I ruined her chances by declining. The conversation was so quick and I was caught off guard and I was wrangling my 2 year old at the same time so I couldn’t think straight. I thought if I waited a month or two that would give me time to figure out logistics. I didn’t dream that would mean they would change their mind!

She doesn’t necessarily understand pre team, but she recently told me she wants to quit her other activities but she wants to do gymnastics “forever” or until she gets to level 10. So I know she’s passionate about it!

I’m getting anxious since I emailed the coach yesterday and haven’t heard back. I’m guessing with the thanksgiving holiday I won’t hear back until next week.

 

[Madden3]

I think it would help for you to talk to the coach and explain everything you have here. E-mail as initial contact is fine, but IMO a conversation on the phone or in person- one arranged for a time where neither you or the coach is particularly rushed or distracted, and your dd is NOT present- will possibly be more helpful than online conversation. Also I would suggest not worrying about not hearing back until next week. If you do not hear anything within a week from when you sent initial email, email again.

Also I suggest, make sure you are talking to the "right" person. The last I looked into wag team at our gym, the person who recommended kids for preteam was not the same person who chooses children to be on the team after team tryouts. And at our gym, whether a kid comes from preteam or rec, they have to eventually try out for team, they do not just automatically move from preteam to team. So I would suggest, ask about the process and about how kids are selected for the actual team at your gym. If they do let kids go from rec to team, ask how they would suggest your dd best prepare for a team tryout. There may be a specific rec class or coach they think it would be better for her to work with, for example.

 

[RTT2]

Don't fear. You haven't ruined your daughter's future in gymnastics. It's possible that you are at a gym with very rigid requirements for age and ability before a child joins team, but there are a lot of gyms out there, and if your (still very young child) loves the sport and wants to pursue it I'm sure you'll find a program that will give her the opportunity. It's definitely worth talking to the coaches at your current gym to find out exactly what they are looking for, and also looking around at other gyms with competitive teams in your area.

 

[Sdnmom]

This is my first time posting here and you all have been very nice and helpful! Thank you all! I feel much better now. I will update after I hear back from her coach. Hopefully I’ll feel good after that, but more than likely I will have more questions or need more advice from you all!

 

[gymyogimom]

Most gyms start team groups once a year. Girls accelerate when in focused groups so two months on preteam may be 6 months in rec.

 

[SurpriseGymMom]

I coach (and select kids for) preteam, and I also coach Level 3 ( the entry level for competitive team at our gym). Every year we have a couple of kids who, for one reason or another, never did get recommended for or tried out for preteam. If they have what we require for starting L3 training, we take them. I can honestly say that we have had a couple of our best L3 girls come to us with no preteam experience. Some have done OK (middle of the pack) and a couple have ended up repeating L3. However, in ALL cases.... they have gotten where they got because of their effort while training L3. We DO keep an eye on age but will not reject a kid solely based on it (our L3 team is currently 7-11 yo, the majority are 8 but a couple are 10). In most cases, the girls who have had the benefit of a year or two in preteam WILL be better conditioned and better prepared for competitive team, but not always.

I *do* use “chutzpah” as part of my selection process, to be completely honest. I would never let one instance of a kid getting scared or uncomfortable be a decisive factor *but* I most definitely would bring it into the equation if it was a more common thing than not (hope that made sense). L3 isn’t particularly scary per se, but it only gets scarier, lol! (I’m also the mom of a second year L8).

I’m glad you emailed the coach to ask, I hope you get a good answer. Ideally, your club will hold a tryout for L3 that will hopefully be open to “rec kids”. At our gym, it would not be too late at all. I hope the same goes for yours since you are interested and like the gym. As a coach, I would love to try out kids whose parents are on board with going to team. Can’t even tell you how many talented kids I have seen whose parents don’t want any part of team.... breaks my heart a little every time.
Best of luck!!

 

[Sdnmom]

I coach (and select kids for) preteam, and I also coach Level 3 ( the entry level for competitive team at our gym). Every year we have a couple of kids who, for one reason or another, never did get recommended for or tried out for preteam. If they have what we require for starting L3 training, we take them. I can honestly say that we have had a couple of our best L3 girls come to us with no preteam experience. Some have done OK (middle of the pack) and a couple have ended up repeating L3. However, in ALL cases.... they have gotten where they got because of their effort while training L3. We DO keep an eye on age but will not reject a kid solely based on it (our L3 team is currently 7-11 yo, the majority are 8 but a couple are 10). In most cases, the girls who have had the benefit of a year or two in preteam WILL be better conditioned and better prepared for competitive team, but not always.

I *do* use “chutzpah” as part of my selection process, to be completely honest. I would never let one instance of a kid getting scared or uncomfortable be a decisive factor *but* I most definitely would bring it into the equation if it was a more common thing than not (hope that made sense). L3 isn’t particularly scary per se, but it only gets scarier, lol! (I’m also the mom of a second year L8).

I’m glad you emailed the coach to ask, I hope you get a good answer. Ideally, your club will hold a tryout for L3 that will hopefully be open to “rec kids”. At our gym, it would not be too late at all. I hope the same goes for yours since you are interested and like the gym. As a coach, I would love to try out kids whose parents are on board with going to team. Can’t even tell you how many talented kids I have seen whose parents don’t want any part of team.... breaks my heart a little every time.
Best of luck!!

Thanks for your reply! Great to hear from a coach’s perspective! I was expecting a reply to my email today, but nothing. I guess I’ll wait it out until class on Thursday and hopefully I’ll either hear back by then or talk to her that night. In the meantime I’m researching other gyms in the area....just in case!

 

[kimute]

You really need to have a conversation with someone. I don't think e-mail is appropriate for getting the answers you seek. Something changed and you don't know what. I don't think you can expect to make team at a gym that won't invite your DD to pre-team. But I also think this could be a big misunderstanding that can only be cleared up in a face to face conversation.