Switch gyms before you lose it!

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judgegym2

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I have been lurking and reading posts for some time before joining. This weekends state meets made me want to post and share an incident that could have and should have been avoided.. I realize it is the time of year for gym switching for a variety of reasons. While many are valid reasons I am sure most of your realize there are also some professional gym hoppers out there looking for "the perfect gym" and switching to a different team and different leo every season ,mid season and even several times per season.
This weekend at state I was witness to a mom completely lose it. This mom came as close to the competitive area as possible screaming profanities at a coach. Since several events were still going in this last rotation there were many kids, parents, coaches and judges within earshot. (She apparently has been unhappy at her current gym for awhile but hanging in there) Her daughter unfortunately had several falls and did not make it to regionals causing the outburst. Several parents and coaches tried to calm the mother but she continued screaming and swearing at the top of her lungs. The poor daughter was devasted and in tears and just kept saying to her coaches and everyone close"Im sorry. Im so sorry". The coach of the girl told the mom to not come back to her gym. Other coaches all commented they would not accept her at their gyms if this mom called. My heart went out to the daughter who was 11yrs old. I know Ive judged her in at least four different team leos in the past 2 years. It was embarrassing for all but, most of all the daughter.
 
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MdGymMom01

Active Member
Mar 5, 2008
2,236
North America
That is such a shame! It is always the children that get hurt the most in these kinds of situations. It is sad that her mother continues to act this way and that she hasn't learned anything from her past behavior (considering the many gyms that her daughter has been to in the past 2 years). Very sad. My heart goes out to his girl.
 

bogwoppit

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Feb 26, 2007
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That is truly awful, that poor child has no hope with a parent like that. No amount of gym hops will satisfy her. I just hope they quit and the child gets to be herself.

We don't have to look to far when wondering where adults with serious mental health issues come from, parents like that create them. She should have a health warning stamped on her head.
 
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gymnut1

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My eyes have filled with tears. That poor child. I can't bear to think about her shame and embarrassment. Whatever came before, whoever behaved badly beforehand be it the child, coaches or mother that is horrendous. Is it possible to barr the mother from the competition arena - is there any mechanism for doing that. It might be the only way she can find a gym again.
 

mariposa

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Sep 25, 2007
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That is very sad. That poor girl. I hope that some gym shows some kindness to her and allows her to join their team, putting some strict boundaries on the mom. Sad that parents don't think about how their actions effect the kids. :( I can't imagine how it must be for the girl at home if she is like that in public. :(
 

gymdog

Well-Known Member
Coach
Former Gymnast
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Jul 5, 2007
5,121
We don't have to look to far when wondering where adults with serious mental health issues come from, parents like that create them. She should have a health warning stamped on her head.
Childhood instability doesn't help, but I have to say I'm not sure this is all that accurate. Many "serious mental health issues" have a significant genetic component and aren't "created", just exacerbated. And you can do everything right and your child can have significant issues. Trust me. Being exposed to instability can cause a lot of emotional issues and would not provide an appropriate model for controlling emotions, but that's not the same as creating bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. In problems related to control issues instability can be a big factor but generally there seems to be a couple predisposing factors to those things and I suspect they aren't completely environmental. That also means you can have a stable home life and develop an eating disorder or self injury issues. You may be more likely to as the result of some environments but in those cases you also may be at an increased risk of exhibiting a genetic factor as well.

Although I agree that parental behavior has a significant impact on modelling healthy, stable patterns of behavior for a child, I think it's hard to make blanket statements about how serious mental health issues are "created."
 

bogwoppit

Former Admin
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Feb 26, 2007
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Sorry it wasn't supposed to be a blanket statement, I am aware that most mental health issues are chemically based and people are just hard wired that way.

But when you see that many abused children go on to abuse it makes you think that one crazy gym parent like this one can create a future abuser. Hard to break that cycle.

I should have phrased it better earlier, beiong glib was not were I was going, but it is were it went, sorry.
 
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