Switched Gyms DD heartbroken

[meesch7428]

My DD is 7 and has been in her gym for 2 1/2 years. She loves it and has 5 girls on her team she has been with for sometime. Well the gym has new owners whom I like and think they will be successful in the gym but they have had new coaches coming and going. In the past 2 years we have had 5 coaches. I really feel consistency is key in this and I want my DD to have that. So we checked out a another gym in the area and we had a tryout. She made the team level 4 which is what she is training for at her old gym. I told them tonight we are leaving they knew it was coming from someone in the gym because we told a few parents we were trying out.

BUT HERE IS THE PROBLEM.....My DD was in tears when I told her today when we got in the car that I told them she was leaving. She has been training with the new gym for a week made a friend and when she left yesterday was hugging the coach and the little girl goodbye. I told her give it the summer and if it doesn't work out we will go back to the old gym thinking she will bond with the girls by this point.

The new gym the girls strength is amazing. They are 6-9 years old and so strong. I saw that and told my DH that she is going to this gym. The workouts are fabulous! Any advice for my DD?

I know we did the right thing. At least I hope so LOL

 

[NOG]

I feel for your dd. We went through this last year. My dd, was 8 and knew that it was the best thing, but was very upset about leaving her coach and team members. She bonded very quickly with the new team, the 1st day she worked out there she had made 2 new friends. The transition into the gym went extremely well, the only obstacle was getting over missing the old team members. It was about 4 months after leaving the old gym that, out of the blue, dd told me on the way home from a practice..."Thank you for making me switch gyms, Mom. It was the best thing to happen."

So, it will get better. We have made sure to keep in touch with her old team members. Both the ones that are still at the old gym, and ones that have moved on to other gyms. Last season we went to a meet that the old gym was competing at just to go cheer on her old team, and that was great for dd. We only ran into competing against them at State, and my dd wasn't in the same age bracket, so that made it easier. We talk to the parents from the old gym quite often still. We rarely discuss gym politics though, and that also makes it easier. Even if we compete against them at every meet next year, it won't be a problem. We still cheer the girls on, and vice versa. Just because we left, that doesn't mean that dd has to cut friendship ties. Make sure that your dd knows that she can always remain friends with former team members and it's good to cheer for them. We have several friends that we've met over the years of competing that compete for various gyms, they're what we call "meet friends". It's something special to find them at meets and cheer for them. That's the great thing about this sport, the opportunity to meet girls from all over and get to know them. I can't wait til meet season next year so that we can see them again.

Good luck, I know your dd will do well at the new gym and while she won't forget her old teammates, things will get better for her.

 

[mariposa]

Hi! My daughter is close in age to your daughter and also a level 4. We recently moved her to another gym and while it was hard at first and she was both excited and sad, it has been the BEST decision. It sounds very similar to your situation, gym owners were nice people, there were good things about the gym, but also HUGE inconsistencies with the coaches. She competed level 4 last season there and I think the inconsistencies were a huge factor in how she performed (or didn't perform actually).

We are almost 2 months into her being at the new gym and she LOVES it. I can see it in her attitude, but she also will tell me how much she loves it. She sees the difference and enjoys having less coaches and how they coach. She clicks with the coaches and it really shows.

Her new gym is also really big on strength and DD loves how strong she is getting. She can now almost do her stalder press to handstand and she can do a pressed handstand on beam! She got her kip within a month of being at the new gym and she said that she wasn't being told exactly where to have her body at each part of the kip and it just clicked. Same thing with her back extension roll to push up. She has struggled with this for a year and after being shown how to break it down, does a beautiful one. She is so proud of herself because of that extension roll! Her form is improving so much as well.

I asked her the other day if she had a choice between her new gym and the old gym which one she would choose and she had no hesitation at all when she said her new gym.

Change is always hard and leaving friends and coaches you like is as well. I tried to really explain to her WHY I though she needed to be at a new gym and even though she agreed at the time, she also had a hard time emotionally leaving the gym, as did I. We had the added issue of having to repeat level 4 at her new gym because they have higher standards, different philosophy when it comes to competing/moving up and at her old gym she was being moved to level 5.

Good luck and I hope that things work out for her at her new gym!

 

[gym mom]

If she is already making friends and hugging her new coaches I am sure whe will adjust.I would just try to keep in contact with her ex teammates and set up some playdates so she knows she can still be friends with them too.I would also see about some playdates with her new team mates.She does not sound like she is miserable at the new gym so give it a couple weeks .

 

[cathiann]

It's tough to switch gyms! It's like a school they've been going to for years--there are bound to be tears after switching. I'm sure she'll adjust if she's already liking her new coaches and making friends--it just takes time to adjust (we've never switched gyms, but have moved schools and it took about 4-5 mos for my kids to feel comfortable at their new school--now they love it and would never go back, but for the first 3-4 mos they would ask occasionally if they could go back).

 

[msl529]

I feel for you! We did this w/ my DD after she competed L4 at her 1st gym. I was worried about the coaching not being up to par at 1st gym, so I moved her to 2nd gym (which had excellent training and wonderful coaches).

She spent one month at 2nd gym, and although she progressed a lot in that one month and made a nice friend, she really missed her friends at gym 1, and INSISTED upon going back to gym 1. I pleaded, bribed, reasoned w/ her, but that stubborn child would not budge.

That's when I got my 1st real awakening that this was GYMMIE'S SPORT, not mine. If she preferred to be at a mediocre gym and be happy w/ her friends, then it was her decision.

So, we went back to gym 1 w/ our tails between our legs, and gymmie was happy to be back w/ her friends, and did her 1st year L5 w/ them.


HERE'S THE IRONIC PART! After that year back at gym 1, dd started to have trouble w/ her coach, and begged to go to gym 2!!! ARGH! I wanted to strangle her. Eventually, we did let her go to gym 2, where she spent 2nd year L5, and had an AWESOME season.

Your dd may stick w/ the new gym. But if she doesn't, don't despair. You never know what's around the next bend! We do have to guide them as parents, but it is also their sport, and somehow, we have to figure out a balance w/ that.

Best of luck!

 

[Tumblequeensmom]

msl529... thanks for your insight!!! I'm struggling w/my DD over this very same issue. I feel like she's not getting the coaching I'm paying for, yet she is VERY resistant to changing gyms b/c of her friends at the gym..... Oh well... I just have to keep remembering that she IS 14 and has every right to choose to be either mediocre or a better gymnast. At her age, it's not like she's going to be a high level gymnast, so it really does depend on what SHE wants, not what I want!

 

[gym law mom]

It is hard to change gyms. I'll play devil's advocate here. Did your dd have a clear understanding that going to this new gym meant she would be leaving the old one and how much did you discuss that with her? As others have said it is THEIR sport(I know its our checkbook) and some want to be incredibly intense while others are fine with a more relaxed approach. Of course young kids don't see some of the problems that adults see, but if she was happy and had good friends at the old gym, then yes, its going to be tough on her. No 2 gyms are the same and it does take some getting used to even when the girl wants to switch.

I would not make any deal about going back to the old gym in 3 mos or so if she's not happy. First, if she's been told she'll be on team at the new gym, you'll be hit up rather quickly to order comp leos, warm ups, join a booster club and the list goes on---its financially tough to switch gyms toward the end of the summer. Second if she's honestly not happy, should she try and tough it out for 3 mos or will you let her go back to the old gym sooner.

Honestly, I hope this move is for the best and in a few weeks or months your dd sees that. Do make sure she knows she can keep in touch with her former teammates and set up some play dates, sleepovers. Also sit down and explain to her why you as parents think this is a good move for her, BUT if she is very unhappy about it after a few weeks, you'll go back to her old gym. This gym may be the one for her now or in a few years, but she needs to be included in the decision.

 

[KyraGymnast]

Sounds like she already made some new friends! Tell her i hope she does well and good luck! She'll adjust quickly. Best of luck.

 

[msl529]

msl529... thanks for your insight!!! I'm struggling w/my DD over this very same issue. I feel like she's not getting the coaching I'm paying for, yet she is VERY resistant to changing gyms b/c of her friends at the gym..... Oh well... I just have to keep remembering that she IS 14 and has every right to choose to be either mediocre or a better gymnast. At her age, it's not like she's going to be a high level gymnast, so it really does depend on what SHE wants, not what I want!

I'm glad our experience has given you some encouragement/insight. Best of luck w/ your dd. I've been there! Feel free to pm me if you like.