Parents Tackling a hard subject?

[Tilly81]

How do you approach a coach about not being happy about a gymnasts progress?
I feel like I should say something but I feel a bit embarrassed and am worried that the conversation will have a negative impact on my dd.
I'm usually happy with the gym but 6 months ago she changed squads and coaches and she seems to have stalled in all progress.
Can you ask for your gymnast to be moved from the squad to another or would we need to change gyms?

 

[cbifoja]

What level is your daughter working? As the skills get harder you don't see those big jumps in skills like in early compulsories.

 

[Tilly81]

I have asked what level she is at but the hc said they don't really have levels until the girls do grades.
We are in the UK.
But she added that although she is in advanced group she can't do anything advanced, the problem is the group age divide is age 6-11 with the older girls being the better ones.
They have introduced an advanced group at the gym which is ages 5-8 which I feel she would better in but I feel a bit uneasy asking if she can join that group as I don't want want to make anyone feel bad. I am aware that she is working on perfecting basics but she is not getting the opportunity to try anything harder at all. My dd is upset because in her words, they are too busy working with the older ones to spend time with her learning stuff. We have had many tears since being in this squad but she loves the gym, as do I, it's friendly, welcoming and I feel totally safe and secure waving her here. This is so hard.

 

[skschlag]

so, maybe instead of addressing it as lack of progress, maybe you could ask about their plan for her. Then you could approach the topic of the different groups in the gym, and where she might be happiest. I would address it as keepign her happy and interested, and not in terms of perceived lack of coaching or lack of progress. (for now)

 

[Tilly81]

Your right I really don't want to discuss it as a progress issue as I don't know what I'm looking for really it's more an issue from my dd point if view, she's lost lots of confidence since starting the group and hasn't got it back.
I'm just worried incase they refuse to move her and then I will be stuck between a rock and a hard place with regards to our future at the gym.

 

[Scotsgirl]

You could maybe mention that your dd is keen to progress further and ask if they have a plan for the younger ones and that you dont want her to get bored as she loves gymnastics and you also feel its a great place for her

 

[Popcorn]

Some kids need more challenges than others to keep them motivated. I think it's ok to let the gym know that you have one of those kids. Then the gym has all of the information when deciding placements.

 

[Tilly81]

Hopefully, I'm going to speak to the hc tomorrow, I will let u know how it goes x

 

[momnipotent]

How old is your dd? I think that them adding a younger advanced group would be the perfect opportunity to have her moved-just phrase it as her expressing interest in being more with girls her own age.

 

[gymdog]

You can't really ask for your child to move to a group that you perceive to be more advanced. If she doesn't enjoy the current group, you could ask about other options, but be prepared that the only other option may be to go back to rec. Usually coaches don't use randomly choose groups, so there's likely a reason she isn't in the other group and I don't think they are very likely to reconsider it based on a parent asking. As kids move up in the levels the progress will seem slower since the skill acquisition especially for very important basic skills such as a back handspring will be a very long process. Six months is not a lot of time. Do you feel that she is not doing drills for these things? What does she do at practice?

 

[JessSyd]

It sounds like it would be worth asking, especially if the younger squad was formed after your daughter was already placed. It might even turn out that they might also think she would be better placed with girls her own age but are hesitant to bring it up in case you or your daughter thinks that being changed to a newer and younger group is a backwards step.

If you are worried about sounding critical make the conversation about the ages of the girls and your daughters confidence rather than rather than about the way training is being run.

 

[Tilly81]

Update...
The HC was so lovely when I discussed this today, she even suggested the younger advanced squad for my dd.
I really needn't of worried about it as it was all handled so well and positively.
My dd is over the moon and we get to stay at the gym that we love!!

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Hard to say, but typically if we move them into a group it's because they progress at that rate. Meaning some kids travel faster than others and are placed together, while some kids travel slower and are placed together. Typically when we place kids together who travel slower,,, the parents blame the group or coaching (even if Bella himself were coaching the group they would blame anything other than the fact that their child just progresses slower). It's a part of every sport and it's a natural reaction that parent have. Unfortunately in many instances the parents are the ones who create problems within the parent circle of these slower moving groups. I have had parents make up names for the groups, and claim that it's the group that no one wants to work with (even though the HC is working with them along with the normal coaching staff). Pretty soon the parents are totally convinced that the name given to the group is what the coaches call them and all the gossip turns into a false reality... It's amazing what gossip and speculation can turn into and how ugly things can become. I recently lost a child to another gym because of this exact thing. The reality is,,, this supposed group of horrible kids that no one supposedly wanted to coach at our gym,, placed.... 1 won 1st place AA at Regionals... 1 placed 2nd AA at Regionals... 2 placed 4 AA at Regionals... the other two placed 5th and 6th at Regionals.... Yep... sound like a group you wouldn't want your daughter in?? By the way the child that left our gym to greener pastures placed 4th AA at Regionals (horrible huh).... The moral of this factual story is, don't just assume that the group you DD is in is holding her back, she may be there for a reason. Just like these kids, it was the grouping that would bring out the best in them at the speed they needed... So please feel free to ask your coach prior to indulging in gossip.

 

[Tilly81]

The progress that was lacking was down to my dd confidence within the larger group and rather than stand to meet the challenge of working with older girls she shied away from it this has been determined I never once said the group/coach was holding her back only that I wanted to discuss there take on it without sounding like a pushy parent or coming across as stupid but thanks for the advice coachp

 

[xxStumpyxx]

The progress that was lacking was down to my dd confidence within the larger group and rather than stand to meet the challenge of working with older girls she shied away from it this has been determined I never once said the group/coach was holding her back only that I wanted to discuss there take on it without sounding like a pushy parent or coming across as stupid but thanks for the advice coachp

My daughter was swamped in her old group (mixed age and ability), she really didn't gel with the girls very well even though she tried, she was shy around her coach and avoided her if she could at stations they were working on and had her head down a lot and looked unhappy even though she said she was ok.

The head coach had a reshuffle as he felt things were not progressing as they should, all the younger girls were put together and all the older girls were put together. My daughter is a different person on the gym now, she is always smiling, bouncing around, working hard, going from being at the bottom of the group to one of the top ones through her own hard work an willingness to learn and try, having two coaches helps and also being with her own age group, never once has she complained of a headache or bellyache or general pain in a gym night like she did in her old group, she gets upset if she thinks she is going to be late or for some reason gym is canceled and God help today she gets sick on a gym nigh, it will be like there of the world for her.

I hope the change in group with be positive like it is for my little girl. It was a confidence thing for my daughter, she wasn't at all confident in her old group but has loads of confidence in her new group.