For Parents Thank you, thank you

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Flippers Mom

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Jul 20, 2009
200
Region 3
I was reading posts last week that reminded me that this is Flippers sport and I need to keep my nose and comments out of it. While I have tried to do that in the past, I realized that I have been grilling her in the car on the way home from practice about how practice went - any new tricks or issues?!

This week I stepped back and made a concerted effort to just leave it alone. About the 4th day of my new attitude, she hopped into the car and asked why I wasn't asking about gym. I replied that I only wanted to talk about it if she did. She offered comments on her concerns about new skills and asked me to go out and watch her work on them on our trampoline. She asked me to go with her to a special training session next weekend (out of town) and generally started talking about what SHE wanted to talk about regarding gym. I am really trying to let her take the lead and I am really trying to quietly follow.

While I am sure that I will need you all to remind me again and again, I thank you for opening my eyes to the unintended pressure I've been putting on the Flipper.
 
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Ingwe

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Proud Parent
Apr 14, 2009
760
Region 8
I could have written this post. After reading what someone wrote last week, I too have decided not to ask my daughter about Gym. (what I really mean is Grill her ) I took a step back and realized how I was making her sport about me. I actually got mad at her about not "getting" a skill that in my mind I felt she should have had by now. OMG, what is wrong with me? Then I felt guilty about it all day long. So, I just stopped asking. At the end of the week she said to me, Mom how come you haven't asked me about Gym? I said, well I figured that if you had someting to tell me then you would. She then proceeded to tell me about getting the skill she had been working on. I will admit, it is still very hard for me not to get all the details, especially since we are not allowed to watch practices. I have decided that I am going to surprised at her first meet in Jan. :)
 
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TeamDad

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Add me to. I think it works alot better this way....as he kicks himself for getting a little too involved last season:eek:

BTW- what post is everybody talking about, I'd like to read it.
 
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nettyinpa

Guest
Add me to. I think it works alot better this way....as he kicks himself for getting a little too involved last season:eek:

BTW- what post is everybody talking about, I'd like to read it.
I might be wrong but I think it was the post about Dr. Ali's comments? I kind of got the same kick in the pants that everyone else seems to be talking about. Really was a wake-up call. All I do now is ask how her day was, including school and practice. If she wants to contribute more then great. I guess you can teach old dogs new tricks! :rolleyes:
 

mariposa

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Proud Parent
Sep 25, 2007
3,529
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USA
Yes, it was a wake up call for me, too, and I was a little surprised at how I felt after the video. I consider myself pretty relaxed, but realized that that asking her stuff I didn't think of as a big deal, could put pressure on her as well. I have decided to not ask about gym either. She is little and still talks about it, but I just listen and try to keep any comments neutral.

I really love this place. We learn so much from each other. :D

So proud of us ALL. ;)
 

gymjourneymom

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Mar 9, 2008
1,331
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USA
Yes, I've been following Doc Ali for a while now. And especially with DD's fear issues/ mental blocks I know better than to grill her about practice. But I still want her to know I care about her & I'm supportive of her. The "routine" we've fallen into when I pick her up from practice is; I usually say something like "Hi there kiddo, anything to report?". Sometimes she'll start right in talking about practice or skill, sometimes she uses it as an opportunity to vent, but usually it leads to silly stories about things that happened during practice. A joke she heard or whatever. Frequently she just says "I'm hungry".:D
 

SamIam

Member
Mar 10, 2008
97
Dang. We are all alot alike aren't we? When talking to Sam whether it's going to bed the night before or pick up after practice, I always talk to her about school first and how the day went there. I guess it's my own way of trying to keep the emphisis on school first. We make around to talking gym stuff afterwards. She will sometimes get in the car talking about one or the other and I feel it's best to let her go with it.

Good post Flippers mom.
 

kristilyn73

Active Member
Jan 17, 2008
1,326
Minnesota
Thanks Flippers Mom! I feel the same way!

I have even made deals with myself.... I wont ask until we get to x spot on the way home... Or I will only ask about x... but either way I should be waiting for her to talk about it.. not bringing it up.
 
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taximom

Guest
I think Flipper's Mom is trying to have her post stickied!

Thanks for the opportunity to check where we're at. I often ask, So how was your day at gym? Did you have fun? My DD usually gives me a play by play of each event. I have been waiting this week (after Doc Ali's videos) for her to initiate the conversation. I also have been making a point not to stick around the gym visiting with the other Moms. My DD also has mental blocks and is a pressue cooker and i certainly do not want to add to her stress level. This is for her enjoyment!
 

gymjourneymom

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Mar 9, 2008
1,331
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Is your daughter named Cait too? LOL :):)

Sean
I don't have a Cait, but I have a feeling "I'm hungry" is what a lot of us hear after practice:p! Had to stop & get DD & her buddy a "snack" after practice just last night...at 9:45pm:D!
 

Flippers Mom

Member
Jul 20, 2009
200
Region 3
Yep, it was the Dr. Ali post that got me thinking. The most amazing thing for me has been that once I backed away, she has volunteered more information then I ever dragged out of her before. We're both happier now! And - she is another gymbug who is hungry all the time. We drive 45 minutes each way, so keep snacks in the car because she certainly can't wait until we get home to eat!
 
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TeamDad

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I don't have a Cait, but I have a feeling "I'm hungry" is what a lot of us hear after practice:p! Had to stop & get DD & her buddy a "snack" after practice just last night...at 9:45pm:D!
haha. You will frequently see me walking around with a burgundy quilted patent leather purse looking bag which is actually an insulated lunch bag filled with food and water. I've gotten alot better at not noticing the smirks:rolleyes:
 

gymjourneymom

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Proud Parent
Mar 9, 2008
1,331
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USA
haha. You will frequently see me walking around with a burgundy quilted patent leather purse looking bag which is actually an insulated lunch bag filled with food and water. I've gotten alot better at not noticing the smirks:rolleyes:
I'm sure it looks very stylish on you!:D Won't you be surprised when you see all the other Dad's at the gym with them,LOL!!! You trend setter you;)!
 
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Midget's Dad

Guest
Midget is a grazer anyway so after going several hours in the gym she is starving.

For me I learned really quickly to just ask neutral "How was the gym?" type questions. Since I am not there all the time she would get really annoyed with me if I got detailed in my asking. Now that I am more neutral and what she tells me is up to her she definitely gives more details.

She also now seeks me out to talk about fear and goals specifically which I think is cool. And we had a great talk about visualization techniques the other day. All prompted by her.
 
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starmaker

Guest
I too have been trying to refrain from asking her 52 questions on our 45 min drive home. I've been sooooo good. Just yesterday before getting into the car she said she had to tell me something (she never shares details about her day). I was so excited. She told me about something that happened at school with other classmates. She went on to share about something funny that happened in gym as well but nothing about "practice". I must of admit it has been extremely difficult to keep from asking the one question I feel I must know: "Did you run routines?" Not that knowing the answer can change anything.

Later that night after we got home grandma called and asked about gym. I heard her mention they only tumbled on floor. Is using grandparents also bad????? :rolleyes: lol I wonder.....
 
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TeamDad

Guest
I'm sure it looks very stylish on you!:D Won't you be surprised when you see all the other Dad's at the gym with them,LOL!!! You trend setter you;)!
Ok sure, kick a guy while he's down:) but I absolutely draw the line at having matching outfits with the dog. Last year DW bought her a raincoat that was the exact color and style as my winter rain jacket:eek: It was more than I could handle....good thing the dogs rain coat mysteriously vanished...bwahahahahah

BTW - I'm just wondering if they have a 12 step program for us parents. "hello teamdad, welcome to chalkenders, please stand up and introduce yourself" "Hi, I'm teamdad, and I really want to know if my dd did her bhs on high beam w/o a spot and it's just killing me to not ask her"
 
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Midget's Dad

Guest
Ok sure, kick a guy while he's down:) but I absolutely draw the line at having matching outfits with the dog. Last year DW bought her a raincoat that was the exact color and style as my winter rain jacket:eek: It was more than I could handle....good thing the dogs rain coat mysteriously vanished...bwahahahahah

BTW - I'm just wondering if they have a 12 step program for us parents. "hello teamdad, welcome to chalkenders, please stand up and introduce yourself" "Hi, I'm teamdad, and I really want to know if my dd did her bhs on high beam w/o a spot and it's just killing me to not ask her"

Just remember, the first step is admitting you have a problem.
 
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