WAG Ticket Reward Jealousy? Help please

[MinnieGymMom]

So my daughters gym started a reward system for the level 5s through 8s. I think they chose those ages because they should be young enough to respond to rewards but old enough to understand it. Any way they started this two weeks ago and Im not quite sure of the specifics (my 9 year old isn't the bast at explaining lol) but they get a certain amount of tickets for a bar or beam rotation. The most you can get in one practice is 10 and you can turn in those tickets for a prize like candy or a little toy. My daughter, level 7, 9 years old, is apparently very good at getting these tickets so she gets a lot of prizes. But apparently it causing trouble because the other little girls in her group are getting angry that she has so many tickets. I don't want it do affect my daughter but i don't know if i should talk to the coaches?

What would y'all do in my situation? Thanks

 

[gymgal]

leave it to the coaches. I am sure they know if it is causing any problems. They will figure it out. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if it fizzles out fairly quickly anyway. Just too difficult to implement consistently in a gym environment.

 

[RTT2]

Anything like this at DD's gym lasts about 2-3 weeks and then dies out, so I wouldn't worry.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I would let the coaches know about the brewing hostility and then leave it to them. I would also ask them to explain, how tickets are earned because if your giving my kid candy I want to know she is earning it.

 

[meganliz77]

Leave it alone... coaches can handle it and the girls will sort it out. My DD's coach does the same sort of stuff for levels 4 - 10. Even the older optional girls dig it. They are always having fun games, comps, etc. in an effort to win small prizes. It should be motivating to the other girls... just maybe encourage your DD to be a bit humble about her winnings? Not to imply that she isn't, but I know my DD hasn't always been and that can cause hurt feelings that sometimes our younger kiddos don't have the wherewithal to understand...

 

[NutterButter]

I also say 'leave it'. My DD's gym does a similar thing from time to time and it really is fun for all the girls though I think the younger ones can get a little more competitive as you are seeing. The contests generally don't last longer than a couple of weeks and really it's not a bad thing for all the girls to learn to deal with jealousy and humility. And the next time around your DD may not be on the 'winning' end.

 

[josie55]

I, too, would leave it, but I would also use it as a teaching moment with my own kid. Talk about how her teammates might be feeling and why, and brainstorm how to be a humble, gracious winner. Those are traits that can be very valuable in gymnastics, and ones I wish all kids would learn.

 

[John]

I would teach MY DD humility and how to SHARE. To me raising a good human being supersedes any sport or hobby.

 

[2gymkids]

I would leave it. DD's coach last year started a sticker system for beam routines. Once they got so many stickers (it was in the hundreds) they were eligible for some sort of party that would be thrown at the end of the season. After a month my daughter waaaaaay past everyone else, so she turned it into more of a team effort instead- they could share stickers and it became more of a group goal that they still all had to work for but wasn't so unbalanced. I'd probably leave it for now and let the coaches figure it out. Although I can't imagine my kid coming home with something every practice, I would imagine the fun would wear off pretty quickly.

 

[coachmolly]

It will work out. I will do silly prizes sometimes and I try to change up what the prize is for so it doesn't always go to the same few kids. I'm sure her coaches are aware if one child is getting way more stickers/prizes than another and will adjust accordingly. Sometimes it will be a strength skill, yesterday it was for who could stick 10 full turns in a row, sometimes it's for getting a specific skill, sometimes it's for good sportsmanship. Sometimes I don't even announce it's coming and just award it. Other times I will do a team award so even if a few kids don't hit the milestone personally, they still benefit. That usually causes everyone to rally together and cheer each other on. And the #1 rule is that if they can't handle it kindly and fairly then we don't need to do games/contests.

 

[mommyof1]

I'm sure her coaches are aware if one child is getting way more stickers/prizes than another and will adjust accordingly.

This. My daughter's coaches have been incentivizing? bribing? rewarding? the girls with candy all season. I am talking like one gummy bear for sticking a back tuck at the end of practice. They will sometimes modify the goal for girls who are struggling on a particular day. It is crazy how excited a pack of 11-year-olds will get about the chance to earn a single gummy bear.

More complex incentive systems/games never seem to last more than a couple of weeks.

 

[GymFan96]

I’ve had to deal with this. It’s a parenting issue. I had a prize box where every kid could pick something after practice, and a few kids would cry and pitch a fit if they didn’t get the prize they wanted. For example, all the bracelets were taken so they had to settle for a fidget spinner. Easy solution: I discontinued the prize box.

IMO this is disgusting behavior. My parents taught me that I’m not owed a prize after practice, and anything my coach might give me is a GIFT. I was expected to act just as gracious whether it was a stamp, a coloring sheet, or a new leotard.

Btw I never gave out vastly unequal prizes. Every prize in the box was worth around $1.

 

[MabelSt]

Maybe give them the idea of a group reward system. Like each level can make a poster and then each kid gets stickers to fill up the words on the poster (like level 7 teamwork), I think that is easier to implement and it’s an individual reward that also builds teamwork because they’re all working to fill fill the poster up with stickers

 

[MabelSt]

I’ve had to deal with this. It’s a parenting issue. I had a prize box where every kid could pick something after practice, and a few kids would cry and pitch a fit if they didn’t get the prize they wanted. For example, all the bracelets were taken so they had to settle for a fidget spinner. Easy solution: I discontinued the prize box.

IMO this is disgusting behavior. My parents taught me that I’m not owed a prize after practice, and anything my coach might give me is a GIFT. I was expected to act just as gracious whether it was a stamp, a coloring sheet, or a new leotard.

Btw I never gave out vastly unequal prizes. Every prize in the box was worth around $1.

Do you have kids?

I see what you mean, because I was taught the same way, but often we remember our behavior differently than adults would remember it. I do agree kids need to not expect a prize, but I think the prize boxes fad in school and in Gym isn’t a good way to manage behavior and sets the kids up to compare to each other and to feel anxiety when they’re not as good. I think discontinuing the prize box was a good idea. It was creating stress and it was externalizing incentive. If the girls care about gymnastics they’ll do what they need to do for themselves.

 

[coachmolly]

Do you have kids?

I see what you mean, because I was taught the same way, but often we remember our behavior differently than adults would remember it. I do agree kids need to not expect a prize, but I think the prize boxes fad in school and in Gym isn’t a good way to manage behavior and sets the kids up to compare to each other and to feel anxiety when they’re not as good. I think discontinuing the prize box was a good idea. It was creating stress and it was externalizing incentive. If the girls care about gymnastics they’ll do what they need to do for themselves.

I agree with prizes for performance externalizing incentive, I want my girls to work hard and make progress for themselves. That being said, prizes or treats are fun for them, can build team spirit, and break up the monotony of meet season when we do lots of routines. But I also select relatively arbitrary things for "prize" skills so everyone has an equal opportunity, or make the prize one the whole team can enjoy (a day of new skill work, trampoline time, coach doing something silly).

 

[Taxidriver]

I agree with prizes for performance externalizing incentive, I want my girls to work hard and make progress for themselves. That being said, prizes or treats are fun for them, can build team spirit, and break up the monotony of meet season when we do lots of routines. But I also select relatively arbitrary things for "prize" skills so everyone has an equal opportunity, or make the prize one the whole team can enjoy (a day of new skill work, trampoline time, coach doing something silly).

I’m not a fan of prizes for everyday work at school or gym. I think they do cause a lot of upset as either you have it where they get a prize for doing x y or z and for some it’s easier than others or the prize is altered to suit the ability of a child then young children find it hard to understand why sally got it for doing x and they didn’t.
However your types of prizes I don’t consider prizes but rewards and at my dd gym some times do similar and have mini competitions where if they for example all stick their routine on beam they get to do something fun (I’ve even seen the coaches allow second chances to help them achieve the goal) and this helps building a team spirit as they all have to do well to get the reward and the coaches encourage them to cheer each other on and if you complain about another person falling you get a forfeit of say 20 sit ups.

 

[mobeans]

I would teach MY DD humility and how to SHARE. To me raising a good human being supersedes any sport or hobby.

Why would you assume OP doesn't do this as a parent? My take from this situation is that it isn't necessarily the tickets the other kids are "jealous" of, but possibly the fact that OP's DD is earning them.

OP, this sport can breed jealousy in many diff situations. I'd continue to tell your DD that she will just need to continue to be the hard worker that she apparently is and that she should be proud of her accomplishments. If it were my DD I'd def remind her to not brag (not saying your DD does but just a good reminder ) and to maybe put the tickets away as soon as she can.

Like others said, this may fizzle out soon.