WAG Told she gained weight

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Weight awareness is not something to take lightly, sorry I just couldn't help myself, as there is a direct connection to strength/weight ratios and injuries. I think that while weight can become an issue surrounding a child's progress and safety, there's no benefit in telling a child they're gaining weight and need to be more mindful of their diet. That's an issue for parent to consider, as well as how to, or not, work as a family to promote healthy meals and snacks.

I had the good fortune to have a team kid's parent who was both a practicing pediatrician and researcher focused on the effect of how the human body responds to food as, and after, it's consumed. He volunteered to work from top to bottom with the parents and then with the kids. His point was not that they needed to lose weight, but that they eat the right foods the right way, and whatever came from that was the way it should be for them, as they were all different from one another, and always would be.

It worked quite well and I'd jump at the chance to have someone with his qualifications and generosity work with any group and any child, because thick or thin, they all need fundamentally sound nutrition.

I know the discussion from the previous posts aren't centered as much on eating disorders as they are on self image and the effects of coaches purposefully, or ignorantly and unwittingly meddling with their gymnast's minds. With respect to eating disorders.......

I'm no authority on the subject but have a keen interest in these disorders as twenty year old member of my extended family has struggled with one since age 15. I learned a few things about the subject from her experience and the experiences of two friends, one close.... one not so much, who work as therapist/counselors in a residential rehab/treatment center.

Both of these people have told me anorexia is not just about body weight and image, and that control over their food, themselves, and others who seek to control them are components of the disease as well. The impression I have from both of them is that their patients view food choices as their one last stand to do something that matters to them that they can control. Sure they're worried about gaining weight, but in a dimension entirely different than an ordinary person on an over the top diet.

One of these therapists is quite thin, but healthy and eating well, and when I heard that part of her job was to share meal time with her group it struck me that these kids were thinking that finally there's someone around here that "gets it." When I asked her if she seemed more credible, for being thin, she shrugged the idea off and said something to the effect that it's not about being thin, it's about the food, and the process of manipulating food...... I guess thin is how they measure their success in other areas..... like thin tells them they did the food thing right, rather than thin being a state of beauty or a means of gaining approval.

I also learned that true anorexia, as opposed to just over doing a strict diet, is a hereditary brain disorder, and if not genetically predisposed, it's not possible to develop anorexia beyond eating too little and saying whoops, I think I went too far. Not that getting to the point of whoops is insignificant, just that it's no more a battle than figuring out how little is too little, and how much is just right.. People with the real deal anorexia, from genetic factors, will not say whoops I went to far, and they'll more likely attribute their fatigue, fainting, and heart palpitations to something they're doing wrong with their food manipulations, like eating the wrong thing, or too much of another thing, anything but eating too little.

You can probably relax if you're concerned that your child has been exposed to a "thin is in" culture, and is about to go off the deep end to full blown clinical anorexia. It's hereditary, so if it's not in the family's history, it's extremely unlikely the child could get it if they tried. Sure, educate yourselves (don't take my word for it) and keep watch over your children and help them understand what a healthy diet is, and what it can do for the common person, as well as the athlete.
 
Wow! Very strong opinions about this being wrong. I thought at least one person would be on the other side. I'm not sure how to feel. Does the fact that the girls are 15-17 in age, change anything?
My coach is very big on weight. And he lets us know it. He usually talks to the girls whose body he "doesn't like" and tells them that they need to eat healthier or he's going to make them run. I was also surprised with the negative reaction to this. To me it is normal because that's how my coach is.
 
At our old gym, the girls were put on a line and had to tell the coach how much they weighed. Coached told some girls they were too heavy. She did not say that to my child at the time, but I had major problems with this. Coach also had no problems telling the girls is a general announcement that their parents were fat too, lovely I know. I did confront the coach and told her if she ever had another thing to say about my child's weight that she is to address it to me. I never addressed the calling the parents fat, but I just feel that saying these things is setting these girls up for eating disorders. I was deeply hurt by the parent comment too. A little over a year ago we went on vacation and when we came home, coach told me we weren't allowed to go on vacation anymore because dd gains too much weight. She swore that dd gained like 7# and lost all of her skills. At the time my dd was 1 month shy of 16 yrs old, 5'1, weighed 105-110# and wears a size 1. She is the furthest thing from fat!

We are no longer in that gym, but not because of this reason, but boy do I have all sorts of crazy stories. SMH :eek:
 
Weight awareness is not something to take lightly, sorry I just couldn't help myself, as there is a direct connection to strength/weight ratios and injuries. I think that while weight can become an issue surrounding a child's progress and safety, there's no benefit in telling a child they're gaining weight and need to be more mindful of their diet. That's an issue for parent to consider, as well as how to, or not, work as a family to promote healthy meals and snacks.

I had the good fortune to have a team kid's parent who was both a practicing pediatrician and researcher focused on the effect of how the human body responds to food as, and after, it's consumed. He volunteered to work from top to bottom with the parents and then with the kids. His point was not that they needed to lose weight, but that they eat the right foods the right way, and whatever came from that was the way it should be for them, as they were all different from one another, and always would be.

It worked quite well and I'd jump at the chance to have someone with his qualifications and generosity work with any group and any child, because thick or thin, they all need fundamentally sound nutrition.

I know the discussion from the previous posts aren't centered as much on eating disorders as they are on self image and the effects of coaches purposefully, or ignorantly and unwittingly meddling with their gymnast's minds. With respect to eating disorders.......

I'm no authority on the subject but have a keen interest in these disorders as twenty year old member of my extended family has struggled with one since age 15. I learned a few things about the subject from her experience and the experiences of two friends, one close.... one not so much, who work as therapist/counselors in a residential rehab/treatment center.

Both of these people have told me anorexia is not just about body weight and image, and that control over their food, themselves, and others who seek to control them are components of the disease as well. The impression I have from both of them is that their patients view food choices as their one last stand to do something that matters to them that they can control. Sure they're worried about gaining weight, but in a dimension entirely different than an ordinary person on an over the top diet.

One of these therapists is quite thin, but healthy and eating well, and when I heard that part of her job was to share meal time with her group it struck me that these kids were thinking that finally there's someone around here that "gets it." When I asked her if she seemed more credible, for being thin, she shrugged the idea off and said something to the effect that it's not about being thin, it's about the food, and the process of manipulating food...... I guess thin is how they measure their success in other areas..... like thin tells them they did the food thing right, rather than thin being a state of beauty or a means of gaining approval.

I also learned that true anorexia, as opposed to just over doing a strict diet, is a hereditary brain disorder, and if not genetically predisposed, it's not possible to develop anorexia beyond eating too little and saying whoops, I think I went too far. Not that getting to the point of whoops is insignificant, just that it's no more a battle than figuring out how little is too little, and how much is just right.. People with the real deal anorexia, from genetic factors, will not say whoops I went to far, and they'll more likely attribute their fatigue, fainting, and heart palpitations to something they're doing wrong with their food manipulations, like eating the wrong thing, or too much of another thing, anything but eating too little.

You can probably relax if you're concerned that your child has been exposed to a "thin is in" culture, and is about to go off the deep end to full blown clinical anorexia. It's hereditary, so if it's not in the family's history, it's extremely unlikely the child could get it if they tried. Sure, educate yourselves (don't take my word for it) and keep watch over your children and help them understand what a healthy diet is, and what it can do for the common person, as well as the athlete.




Do not relax. Weight should not be addressed by coaches ever. Coaches are here to coach gymnastics...teach gymnastics to kids in a fun, safe, and healthy environment. What your child weighs or doesn't weigh isn't the coaches concern. Leave it to the child's medical doctor or dietitian. Coaches, leave the the weight issue out of the gym! Eating disorder "behaviors" are serious no matter what. EVEN WHEN THE PERSON ENGAGES IN THE BEHAVIOR FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME. If the behavior is executed in an effort to lose weight or keep from gaining weight, it's bad news! Period.

While anorexia and bulimia and binge eating disorder are all horrible diseases that people die from, the most serious, most dangerous, and most deadly of all is EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified) more people die from EDNOS than all other eating disorders combined.

Don't relax. Treat your situation cautiously with your daughter. The friend of mine that I spoke about earlier? Diagnosed with EDNOS. She suffered a heart attack at 27 as a direct result of her EDNOS. (Thanks to a jr high track coach who had no place at all in discussing her weight)

"Eating Disorders Not Otherwise Specified (EDNOS)

Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (EDNOS) is found in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders-IV. It is the category for people who do not meet the strict criteria for either Anorexia or Bulimia Nervosa, but who have significant concerns about eating and body image. For example, a person who shows almost all of the symptoms of anorexia nervosa, but who still has a normal menstrual cycle and/or body mass index, can be diagnosed with EDNOS. One may experience episodes of binging and purging, but may not do so frequently enough to warrant a diagnosis of bulimia nervosa.

For those with EDNOS: all of the criteria for anorexia nervosa are met except that, despite substantial weight loss, the individual’s current weight is in the normal range; all of the criteria for bulimia nervosa are met except that binge eating and inappropriate compensatory mechanisms occur at a frequency of less than twice a week or for a duration of fewer than three months.

This category has been shown in some studies to have the highest death rates of any category of eating disorder. 52 % of eating disorder sufferers may have EDNOS. Most patients do not have pure forms of eating disorders, and they may cross over from one disorder to the other over time."


http://www.anad.org/get-information/about-eating-disorders/eatingdisorders-not-otherwise-specified/
 
Agree with JBS. Our coaches do not tall about weight or body shapes - they talk about good nutrition. Personally, I don't think it is the coaches place to talk about weight gain. That is a personal thing and should be discussed with a doctor or nutritionist if a parent or child has a concern. There are medical conditions that might cause weight gain (as well as genetics) and it is really unfair to assume that it is because the gymnast is eating too many potato chips.
 
My friend's daughter who is anorexic has talked about how many dancers and gymnasts she has in the various support groups she has been to throughout this process. I totally agree that certain people are genetically predisposed to eating disorders (not necessarily with a history of ED in their family, but often anxiety, depression, or OCD). But each of our genetic make-up makes us pre-disposed for all sorts of things, but often the choices we make (healthy diet, exercise, etc.) can affect whether or not those things actually happen to us. The bottom line is that we don't know whether or not our kid may be pre-disposed towards ED (twins don't run in my family, nor did I have any of the "risk factors" for twins... age, fertility treatments, etc. yet my stretch marks will attest to the fact that I had twins anyway), so I'm not going to say, "I don't have to worry about either of my girls developing an eating disorder because we don't have a family history of it." Coaches, or any beloved & trusted adult, hold huge sway over our girls as they grow into young women (not that boys are immune either... one mother on the team has a son who is a wrestler who struggled with ED) and they should be building up our strong, fit kiddos in this world that is so appearance-obsessed rather than tearing them down.
 
You can probably relax if you're concerned that your child has been exposed to a "thin is in" culture, and is about to go off the deep end to full blown clinical anorexia. It's hereditary, so if it's not in the family's history, it's extremely unlikely the child could get it if they tried. Sure, educate yourselves (don't take my word for it) and keep watch over your children and help them understand what a healthy diet is, and what it can do for the common person, as well as the athlete.
Don't relax. Anorexia is only one concern. Self image, self confidence, mental health, etc are all at stake here as well (though certainly to a differing degree in different people). So many women have serious emotional/mental issues around body image and weight. We need to get that weight off the next generation as much as we can. 15 years of building my wife up can be easily cast aside by one sentence from her (unintentional) childhood tormentors.

I barely understand the misery, as I'm male and I don't really care much about the issue myself, but years of observing my wife and sisters in law (and coworkers, friends, etc) have taught me that this is a very serious and often delicate issue.
 
People who develop anorexia tend to also share some common personality traits/characteristics. They tend to be perfectionistic and have a high degree of personal discipline. These 2 traits are also found in many if not most high level gymnasts. Statistically speaking, there is a a high likelihood that there is a higher rate of girls in competitive gymnastics with a predisposition towards anorexia than in the general population. For this reason, coaches need to be even more aware of their influence and how their comments can be a contributing factor to these issues.
To the OP, I think I remember you having some other issues at your gym last season with questionable coaching practices? I know it is hard since she is a L10, but her emotional and mental health has to be your very first concern, above any success in the sport.
 
Here are some simple things at home to remedy possible injury caused by excess weight, without actually addressing it. Step one, (and the biggest step). Water and milk, that's it, nothing else (no soda, Gatorade, juice, no nothing) and eliminate ALL sugar snacks (yogurt, health bars, snack bars, breakfast bars, cereal, cookies, ice cream, healthy choice ice cream bars,,, etc..) AND THAT INCLUDES SUGAR FREE DRINKS AND SNACKS. Believe it or not, that will trim anyone down, without actually changing how much we eat. If your reply is, "she doesn't eat or drink sugar things", then it should be no problem getting rid of all these things in the house and making sure she doesn't eat them at school. Step one, stop filling your house with these items.
 
Here are some simple things at home to remedy possible injury caused by excess weight, without actually addressing it. Step one, (and the biggest step). Water and milk, that's it, nothing else (no soda, Gatorade, juice, no nothing) and eliminate ALL sugar snacks (yogurt, health bars, snack bars, breakfast bars, cereal, cookies, ice cream, healthy choice ice cream bars,,, etc..) AND THAT INCLUDES SUGAR FREE DRINKS AND SNACKS. Believe it or not, that will trim anyone down, without actually changing how much we eat. If your reply is, "she doesn't eat or drink sugar things", then it should be no problem getting rid of all these things in the house and making sure she doesn't eat them at school. Step one, stop filling your house with these items.

This is not the point of this thread.
 
This is not the point of this thread.
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It appears that the thread is about addressing weight gain. So here is a suggestion on how to deal with weight gain, without actually addressing it with the child. If everyone took this approach we would see a lot less problems associated with anorexia etc.... Seems pretty on topic to me...
 
And, look at college gymnasts - most of them are not the tiny little things that gymnasts are imagined to be, and they do quite well, and I'm sure they're very healthy.

And the sad thing here is that college gymnasts are weighed on a regular basis and told what to eat and not to eat.... some are restricted from practicing "until they meet certain weight goals" (set by the coaching staff of course) ....and we wonder why eating disorders are rampant at the college level....
 
YIKES!!!!!!!!! A COACH SHOULD NEVER DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Hi, i'm Dunno's wife typing now. i don't have time to read this thread. it must be bad. i just called 911 cause Dunno swallowed his epiglottis while he was reading whatever is on here. he asked me to post this link as they put him in the ambulance.)

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/10/131008122443.htm
 
====
It appears that the thread is about addressing weight gain. So here is a suggestion on how to deal with weight gain, without actually addressing it with the child. If everyone took this approach we would see a lot less problems associated with anorexia etc.... Seems pretty on topic to me...

But you are coming dangerously close to giving weight loss advice, which is a big no-no here on CB.
 
And the sad thing here is that college gymnasts are weighed on a regular basis and told what to eat and not to eat.... some are restricted from practicing "until they meet certain weight goals" (set by the coaching staff of course) ....and we wonder why eating disorders are rampant at the college level....

I'm surprised that this still goes on. When I was in the college marching band, the majorettes were weighed weekly and a girl could be cut from performing in a game if her weight went up (on the trips home from the boal games they would gorge themselves on junk!). But that is no longer the case.
 
I have two daughters. One is in her early 20s and the other is my 9YO gymnast. My oldest has struggled with anorexia since her early teens. She has been in multiple in-patient programs, countless out-patient/support group type things, and therapy forever. We are talking tens of thousands of dollars in treatment costs.

At 8YO, my gymmie was told by the school nurse that her BMI was high. This prompted her to begin studying her body, pulling at her legs, her buttocks, sucking her stomach in while staring at herself in the mirror. She began making comments about her "fat legs" that squished out when she sat down. She began worshiping another gymnast on her team who is emaciated. At 9 YO, she has twice attempted to fast to lose weight. She is NINE!!!!

Talked to coach, talked to pediatrician to head this stuff off early. Have seen some progress and am hoping that this is something that was caught early enough to not affect her future.

Now that being said, I also understand where IWC is coming from. I mean, weight DOES affect a gymnast's ability to do some skills. I'm not saying every gymnast has to be super skinny but it's a physics issue. To move mass, you must have a sufficient amount of strength. And if you have more mass but you aren't building strength, then skills will suffer.

Now lecturing gymnasts on weight is scary. Weighing them is horrifying. But talking to them about healthy food choices, good versus bad fuels, increasing your intake of healthy foods....well, I think that is a good role for coaches to play in addition to parents. Coaches are very influential with our kids and as long as they use their powers for good and not evil, then I'm okay with coaches talking to gymnasts about making good choices that help them in the gym, rather than hinder them. And if weight gain is an issue, then a discrete, respectful conversation should be undertaken only with a parent in attendance.
 
I have two daughters. One is in her early 20s and the other is my 9YO gymnast. My oldest has struggled with anorexia since her early teens. She has been in multiple in-patient programs, countless out-patient/support group type things, and therapy forever. We are talking tens of thousands of dollars in treatment costs.

At 8YO, my gymmie was told by the school nurse that her BMI was high. This prompted her to begin studying her body, pulling at her legs, her buttocks, sucking her stomach in while staring at herself in the mirror. She began making comments about her "fat legs" that squished out when she sat down. She began worshiping another gymnast on her team who is emaciated. At 9 YO, she has twice attempted to fast to lose weight. She is NINE!!!!

Talked to coach, talked to pediatrician to head this stuff off early. Have seen some progress and am hoping that this is something that was caught early enough to not affect her future.

Now that being said, I also understand where IWC is coming from. I mean, weight DOES affect a gymnast's ability to do some skills. I'm not saying every gymnast has to be super skinny but it's a physics issue. To move mass, you must have a sufficient amount of strength. And if you have more mass but you aren't building strength, then skills will suffer.

Now lecturing gymnasts on weight is scary. Weighing them is horrifying. But talking to them about healthy food choices, good versus bad fuels, increasing your intake of healthy foods....well, I think that is a good role for coaches to play in addition to parents. Coaches are very influential with our kids and as long as they use their powers for good and not evil, then I'm okay with coaches talking to gymnasts about making good choices that help them in the gym, rather than hinder them. And if weight gain is an issue, then a discrete, respectful conversation should be undertaken only with a parent in attendance.

I am so sorry for what you have had to go through with your older DD. As I watch my dear friend go through this struggle with her DD, I get a just tiny hint of what it must be like to deal with this, day in, day out.

When my DD was maybe 8 or 9, she saw a picture of herself in a leotard and said, "I look fat." :eek: I have also seen her and her gym friends poking at softer parts of their bodies and talking about their "blubber." It is amazing how early girls begin to worry about the f-word (fat). I haven't heard any of this recently, but that may just be because they know better than to say those kinds of things in front of me now.
 
i remember back in the day, late 80's and early 90's when my kids were in grade school. and they started that BS BMI stuff.

the PE teacher happened to live in my neighborhood. and she walked her dog every day before school. and she ALWAYS stopped at MY yard for her dog to take a dump. i had asked her several times to stop this cause my kids played in the yard. she always would justify with some stupid response like "dog poop has been around forever and has never killed anyone". and she always said it with one of those smiles that you want to slap off someone's face.

so, i began collecting her dog poop. in the lunch bags that you send the kids to school with. collected quite a bit. i was pondering what i was going to do with it.

then she started this BS BMI stuff. and both my son and daughter came home with the results sheet. one of those bureaucratic form sheets like those state tests. and i didn't like her already cause my kids would invariably step on her dog's poop and trail it inside my house. and that got my wife crazy too cause she's OCD...not the bone kind.

so...i collected the "fat" sheets from my 2 kids. i neatly prepared a lunch bag filled with her dog's poop. and then i typed a letter. it said, "my children will not be participating in the BMI program any longer. i believe that over time it could have a detrimental effect on the emotional health of my kids. that it could trigger an eating disorder. AND i believe that the risk of these BMI tests could cause certain death in some children unlike the lunch that i have personally bagged for you. possibly you could eat this lunch. i understand it is high in protein and calcium and other minerals not found in human food. and i have been told that "it has been around forever and has never killed anyone". please enjoy the lunch that i have personally prepared for you and please remove my children's name from the BMI database that can be found in the district office as well as the nurse's file. thank you for your attention to this important matter."

well, and i couldn't understand why, she not only told the principal but called the police also. we had a come to Jesus meeting at the school. conclusion? Dunno 1-School 0. in this meeting i threatened them with legal action if the entire BMI program was not removed from the district. i had to threaten them as they tried to be all up in my face as to what my reaction was to a state/government mandated program where they were paid money to do so based on a grant. how insidious. and that i was going to be in "some sort" of legal trouble once the State's Attorney could figure out if what i had done with the bagged poop was a criminal matter. don't make me...

so i filed a lawsuit. it was fun. it went on for about a year. but in that year, my kids did not have to participate in the BMI program because i was granted a Court Injunction. and one where i filed a child abuse status claim with CPS in my county.

at mediation, the school/district agreed to notify the parents of what they were doing and what the BMI test meant. they also agreed to send home a permission slip to participate in, or opt out of, said BMI test and which included a pamphlet from ANAD (anorexia nervosa & associated diseases) with a tear off which had to be signed by both parents (i wanted to be certain that the dads read this pamphlet although there was no way to prove that they did) and turned in with the permission slip.

the only way i would have been able to successfully have it removed altogether was to sue the State Board of Education. i wasn't in for all that would have required of my time. but i enjoyed 'playing' with the local folks. conclusion? Dunno 2-School 0.

there are just certain swords a parent must die on for their kids. in my life, and what my life has meant to them as well as other children, this was the sword.
 
OMG, dunno (I really don't think I have ever typed "OMG" before, but your post deserved it). Best. Post. Ever. Are you really serious?
 

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