Welcome to our Gymnastics Discussion Community
555,589 messages... 44,515 topics... and 6,778 members
Join for FREE!
Thank you for supporting our sponsors Energym Music & Norberts!

For Parents Upset...is this what I have to look fwd to?

Status
Not open for further replies.

UnoMas

Well-Known Member
Proud Parent
Aug 16, 2008
3,736
Ok, bear with me. I am new here and I havent posted much. Tonight at practice, something happened and I am really upset. Please give me opinions as to whether I am being oversensitive or wierd.

I was watching my dd practice with the other level 2's on the team (there are 7 level 2's, split into older and younger age groups. My dd is in the younger group but is older than the other girls). Anyway I went over to stand by a couple of the other parents of level 2's in my dd's group. They were talking about scoring and deductions and getting really serious about it. They were talking about how competitive their daughters were. One of them said to me (I barely know this woman)..."yeah, my dd was talking about how she was going to do in the last meet, and she said "oh, I've got Madison beat (my dd) on floor and bars, I am better than her on those but I am not sure about beam".

These are 6 and 7 year old girls in level 2 we are talking about. We only compete in-house and this is just to get the mobility scores that our coach requires to move up a level!!! I could not believe how serious they were and I was devastated that the kids would be saying they were better than their own teammates!!!!

My dd would never EVER say that she was better than a teammate. If she did she would be in serious trouble. I am so upset that these parents are condoning these young girls comparing themselves to each other.

My dd is so clueless about scores and meets. She just loves gymnastics. She wants to do well, but to say that she is better than a teammate and that she was going to "beat" them...ICK! This is not the kind of thing I want for my daughter.

Should I quit now? Is this kind of thing really common in gymnastics and among parents? At this low of a level????? Am I oversensitive???

Ugh, I feel sick!

Kelly
 

bogwoppit

Former Admin
Gold Membership
Former Gymnast
Feb 26, 2007
16,754
Country
Canada
Take a deep breath and then exhale slowly.

Don't quit.

You will meet psycho gym parents and their spawn along the way, but you will also meet great supportive Mom's and their girls, who will become friends for life and who will support you through thick and thin.

Parents like that are influencing their children to be competitive. Just as your dd would never say she has someone "beat", they are encouraging and perhaps even bullying their child into needing to be better than the rest. These kids typically do not last long.

Lets be honest, this is Level 2, it is not really even team in most clubs, so this behaviour is totally ridiculous. Keep things the way they are with your DD, she is happy and not being driven crazy by a gym mom from hell.

If things do get worse, ask the head coach if she could have talk about team spirit with all the team girls and even the team parents.

You can always come and complain to us, we totally get it.:)
 

Blackie6

Active Member
Proud Parent
Mar 1, 2007
1,284
NJ
Country
USA
LOL, stay away from those parents! I agree with Bog, don't hang up the leotard yet if your DD loves it. We are on our 2nd year of L4 and I learned that some of the meaner ones (girls/moms)who are more competative are never happy with anything (girls, coaches, gym...meets...schedule) and eventually move on. I've buddied up with a couple other moms like me (non-competative) and guess we have our own little group. Just an FYI though I do notice that this year as a 7 yr old my DD does seem to be more competative w/team girls and wanting to know more about scores and wanting to place better than last year but never would she be that mean to a teammate.
 

Monkeygirlsmom

Active Member
Proud Parent
Feb 10, 2007
764
I agree with the other posts dont give it up!
Just keep teaching your dd its about enjoying the sport and yes to challenge selves.
good luck the others are not the norm but it does happen
 

kristilyn73

Active Member
Jan 17, 2008
1,326
Minnesota
I am so sorry you had to deal with those other competitive moms!

Yes they are out there, but there are so many others that are not competitive and want to see all kids do well. Stick with those moms and you will feel much better about this sport our kids have decided to love!

Dont give up. It sounds like you are raising your daughter in a loving way!

Hang in there! Hugs to you and your DD.
 

gymjourneymom

Active Member
Proud Parent
Mar 9, 2008
1,331
Country
USA
:eek:What I have to say about those DD & moms....the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!!! Those girls are learning that behavior at home...from crazy pyscho parents. Don't let the "pyschos" drive you & your DD away from something she enjoys. That type of behavior is totally over the top, for any level...but especially for only being level 2. We can only hope that those "little darlings" are so good... that they may need to move onto to a more competive gym(LOL!). There are nice "normal" moms out there too. Once you meet up with them you'll see how nice this sport can really be. We've made some wonderful lasting friendships over the years. I can honestly call one of the other team moms my best friend. And our DD's have always been in direct competition with each other :D
 

gym mom

Active Member
Sep 8, 2007
724
florida
I guess I have been lucky all of the team parents from my dd's team have always been supportive of all of the girls and does not matter who gets first or second just that they have fun and all do well.my dd is 8 l4 started competing at 6 l2 aau.the owners have always told us l2 & l3 are supposed to be fun for the girls and do not pay alot of attetion to the scores at this level.
 
F

flippymonkeysmom

Guest
Unfortunately there are girls and parents out there. Don't let it get to you. It sounds like you have the right attitude so your dd should have the ability to rise above it. In my experience I have found that competitiveness much more in the lower levels. It has always cracked me up when parents of pre-team kids or low level compulsories are like that and convinced their kids are going to be the next great thing. I have known quite a few - and of course that subtle, or not so subtle pressure, from the parents often backfires and the kid ends up quitting anyhow. Hang in there - find the couple of normal moms - they are there - you just have to look since they won't be the ones with their noses against the glass critiquing every move. Stick with them and your gymnastics mom experience will be much more pleasant.
 

UnoMas

Well-Known Member
Proud Parent
Aug 16, 2008
3,736
Thanks you guys. I am going to stay away from these moms (man, I was just trying to be friendly cause I often keep to myself) and be on the hunt for normal ones!!!!
I still have a terrible feeling. Those girls better not say anything like that TO or IN FRONT OF my dd or there is going to be one mad "normal" mom on the hunt for the psycho gym mom spawn!!!!!!!!
I actually really dislike the way the girls have to compete against each other in the in-house meets. I wish everyone who got XX score got a gold, XX score got a silver, etc etc etc.

Anyway, thanks a bunch. I feel a lil' better now!
Kelly
 

gymmomntc2e6

Moderator/Proud Parent
Aug 25, 2007
2,842
North Carolina
I agree with everyone else. Stay away from the psycho parents. My DD is L3 and they did have meets last year that were regular meets. All of the L3 parents were cheering for all of the kids. If I am 100% honest - sure I want my DD to win, but I also enjoy seeing her teammates win and do well. They all cheer for each other and I have never heard one of them say anything like that, nor any of the parents.

My DD has said " how come HC spotted 'jane' on her BWO BHS on beam and not mine, my BWO is better?" I think this was more of a question than an "I am better than Jane" comment.

Anyway - at least there are some 'normal' moms here !!
 

Gymmonkeymomma

Active Member
Proud Parent
Mar 7, 2008
1,991
Region 7
Country
USA
Ditto on taying away from the psychos! Those kinds of parents will burn their kids out by the time they are level 4, at this rate!!!

Have your dd focus on doing her personal best. That's something to be proud of!
 

FlipsLeos

Member
Jul 26, 2008
111
I actually really dislike the way the girls have to compete against each other in the in-house meets. I wish everyone who got XX score got a gold, XX score got a silver, etc etc etc.

That is exactly how ours work. They get a ribbon based on their score (9.0 & up gets blue, 8.0 & up gets red, etc) and everyone gets an "all-around" medal or trophy.

BUT it still doesn't stop the competition. And I think it's WORSE with the younger ones (and their PARENTS) than it is with the older girls!!

It's sad, at least I think so.

My dd is in it cuz she has fun. She started in Dec as something to do during soccer's offseason and is now doing L3. I get the feeling that ticks some of the other L3 parents off that she's at the same level as their child who has been doing it since they were 3 or 4, but that's life. She's not fantastic, it's just where the coach said she should be.

I just try and stay away from the psycho parents!!! They aren't worth my time or effort, and I have a really hard time not rolling my eyes and saying "WHATEVER!" when they start talking --- so I just avoid them as much as possible. I'm sure they must think *I* am the snob, and I'm absolutely A-OK with that!
 

Livinatthegym

Member
Feb 4, 2008
204
Region IV
I haven't run into exactly that situation, but after years on the team, we moms did get pretty candid with each other. My dd1 wasn't all that talented, but she was a super-hard worker and a ferocious competitor. If she wasn't team high score, she was second. If another mom told me her dd's goal was to beat mine on something, I guess I didn't take it as a negative statement. (Mine likely had a similar goal once in while.) If you're in it over the long haul, you get to be like family (in the real warts and all kind of way) with the other team parents.

The other issue you may face is that successful gymnasts do tend to have a real competitive streak. If you ask me, though, this is something lots of us help our girls fight to keep in check, not encourage. If something like this happens again, I'd probably have a comeback ready. You know. "Oh, that's nice, but we're in this to have fun, not cut down our teammates." Hopefully, the other moms would be ashamed enough to apologize.

What you found certainly isn't typical. Level 2 is too soon for that kind of crap. And at higher levels, you all know each other well enough not to need to be petty.
 

gym law mom

Active Member
Proud Parent
Dec 23, 2006
2,527
Country
USA
If its not wacko parents and their kids in gymnastics, you'll find them in other activities. As several others have pointed out, the kids learn this type of behavior at home. Sure kids can be competitive, but they needs to learn to be gracious when they win and when they lose because they will experience both. Parents that just push and push for all the 1st place finishes many times push their kids right out of the sport---they burn out.

Take the comment for what its worth(not much) and stay away from mom who has visions of her dd in the Olympics in 2016. As the girls get older they know that 1 is stronger on bars and another on beam etc. and usually deal with it more appropriately, but there are always a few that ruin it for everyone else.

This mom needs to get a reality check that this is L2 and not the Olympic trials.
 
G

GymTwinsMom

Guest
No! gymnastics is such a great sport. Yes, it can be competitive, and yes it can have some crazy parents and kids, but those are just some of it. A lot of the parents are nice and love to see their child have fun and make friends. Stay away from those parents, and don't worry, I would think every gym has those type of people- you were just unfortunate enough to meet them first LOL.

At our gym, we have about 3 parents who are super competitive. They bet who is going to win gold AA at every meet, about each others kid! It is so heart breaking to watch, I have 3 nice other gym moms I chat with.


Good luck!!:)
 

UnoMas

Well-Known Member
Proud Parent
Aug 16, 2008
3,736
It's funny about the "snob" comment...I approache these moms because our girls ARE in the same level together...and I figured it would be nice to know them so I would know whose kid I was cheering for at the next meet...didn't want to seem like the snob who never talks to anybody! But now I know better. I had a really good gym mom pal whose dd moved up to level 3 w/o my dd...and she just can't catch up,:p. Hopefully I will run into some normal moms. In the meantime, can y'all come to my gym and be my friend???:D

Thanks again. I really was upset and I do feel better now.

Kelly
 

gymmomntc2e6

Moderator/Proud Parent
Aug 25, 2007
2,842
North Carolina
It's funny about the "snob" comment...I approache these moms because our girls ARE in the same level together...and I figured it would be nice to know them so I would know whose kid I was cheering for at the next meet...didn't want to seem like the snob who never talks to anybody! But now I know better. I had a really good gym mom pal whose dd moved up to level 3 w/o my dd...and she just can't catch up,:p. Hopefully I will run into some normal moms. In the meantime, can y'all come to my gym and be my friend???:D

Thanks again. I really was upset and I do feel better now.

Kelly

we can be there spiritually. And we can snicker at the snobs w/ you. I see you overhearing some crazy comment and just busting out laughing - because you have this thread in your mind and that we are all laughing at them with you.
 
G

GymTwinsMom

Guest
we can be there spiritually. And we can snicker at the snobs w/ you. I see you overhearing some crazy comment and just busting out laughing - because you have this thread in your mind and that we are all laughing at them with you.

Agreed! and will be there as well snickering at those snobs, and cheering for your dd:)
 

gotgym

Coach/Proud Parent
Coach
Former Gymnast
Proud Parent
Jun 11, 2008
275
Illinois
Dont worry those types of parents never last long. They usually start to gym hop. We had one that has been to 5 gyms in our area. This past summer when her mom was unhappy again many of the gyms denied them a tryout. The poor kid has competed in a different team leo every year. She really is pretty good but, the mom is just ruining it for her
 

midwestgymmom

Active Member
Aug 27, 2006
661
midwest
Agreed! and will be there as well snickering at those snobs, and cheering for your dd:)

:ditto: me too! I tell my dd the only score she should worry about is her own, it's the only one she has any control over and after she competes it's all in the judges hands. All the parents here cheer for the others, even girls on other teams.

Interesting story here. Our gym put on our first meet and a team came (we'll call it team S) Some of our parents who were at the session noticed that team S's HC chewed out his girls after a rotation which really upset them and team S's gymnasts, he was so out of line it even ticked off our meet director who contemplated showing the HC the door. He didnt but the our parents went out of their way to cheer on team S's girls and tell them they did a great job. One of the parents smiled so big when she heard our parents cheering on her dd who just gotten a verbal backlash from their HC. Its not even like the girl had done bad either. There are great parents out there too you just have to watch and see them. :hug:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.