Parents Vent-Why cant people just be content?

[GymBeeMom]

My kids go to an awesome gym with incredible coaching. Obviously it isn't perfect, but it's a great place to bring up a variety of gymnasts with varying skill levels and goals. These coaches have their moods and do things we don't always understand, but they always get the job done and do it with compassion and real dedication. I couldn't imagine my gymmie coming up in any other place.

YET, so many parents find every little thing to gripe about. I help out in the gym and try to be a peacekeeper among parents but I just hate all the bad mouthing that goes on amongst parents. I know it happens everywhere, it just gets old.

Thats it, just had to get it out. I know many f you have similar experiences, I just wish there was more room for positive talk in gym lobbies.

 

[wallflower]

Definitely been there too! I feel like I'm constantly having to defend the coaches. Everything is always their fault.

 

[Gymmom495]

I notice that parents complain when their children are not performing at the level they expect them to. Instead of telling their son/daughter they must train harder, or that it may just take longer to get a skill they turn their blame toward someone else.. Usually the coach. I have even heard parents complain that the coaches spend more time with one over the others and that's why their child is not doing as well. Bottom line if you are not happy you can leave, there is no crying in baseball and no complaining in gymnastics. No one is forcing these people to be there. Either have complete faith in your coaches or leave.

 

[GymMom67]

I notice that parents complain when their children are not performing at the level they expect them to. Instead of telling their son/daughter they must train harder, or that it may just take longer to get a skill they turn their blame toward someone else.. Usually the coach. I have even heard parents complain that the coaches spend more time with one over the others and that's why their child is not doing as well. Bottom line if you are not happy you can leave, there is no crying in baseball and no complaining in gymnastics. No one is forcing these people to be there. Either have complete faith in your coaches or leave.

There is a girl on my DD's team whose mother has said these exact things. She is repeating this level and the mother blames it on being "treated like a second class citizen". She doesn't watch practice often (thankfully!), but when she does, she sits there and complains the whole time. However, we are pretty fortunate at our gym. I really hear very, very little complaining.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

My kids go to an awesome gym with incredible coaching. Obviously it isn't perfect, but it's a great place to bring up a variety of gymnasts with varying skill levels and goals. These coaches have their moods and do things we don't always understand, but they always get the job done and do it with compassion and real dedication. I couldn't imagine my gymmie coming up in any other place.

YET, so many parents find every little thing to gripe about. I help out in the gym and try to be a peacekeeper among parents but I just hate all the bad mouthing that goes on amongst parents. I know it happens everywhere, it just gets old.

Thats it, just had to get it out. I know many f you have similar experiences, I just wish there was more room for positive talk in gym lobbies.

does this gym have open viewing?

 

[Dka]

I feel the same way. Being a coach a long time myself- not gymnastics- I know that parents her frustrated when some children progress faster than others. Most always blame the coach. There are times when coaching may not be up to par and it's warranted, but in most cases, parents have to understand that their child is unique and will progress when they are ready...

 

[EastCoastGymMom]

I completely understand! Been there, done that!

 

[Quadqueen]

is this the gym where your daughter is going 25-30 hours a week at like level 7? Do these grumpy parents also have kids doing the very high hours? I would think that since that would require a high level of "investment," that these parents have high expectations for their child...maybe they think their kids aren't progressing fast enough or that they had other expectations for such a program. Not saying that's right, but it would seem that might be a natural consequence of being in a program like that. ??

 

[bookworm]

Our current gym has minimal room for viewing so most don't and even when I am picking up or dropping off , I don't hear much, if anything, in the way of complaints...don't know if less access to hanging around and watching practice has anything to do with it. Our former gym ("a National Team Training Center") has a bigger viewing area with parents who stay (I'd say 75% of them do..) and watch 24/7 and even video the practice sessions (!!!) so they can "do a further critique" later on...THAT gym had a ton of complaing going on there....

I will say in our current gym the coaches are lovely and seem to have a genuine connection with parents and the gymnasts about expectations and what's going to happen, and there is a lot of communication with the families as well, so I think that has a lot to do with the positive vibes going on there...

 

[aussiebug]

Our gym has a ban on team parents viewing practice. We can only watch once a term for 15 minutes at the end of class. Rec parents have no restrictions.

This came about because its open view so you can see every child, there was some drama of parents commenting on the skills and talent of children, who arent theirs, in a negative fashion..

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[Deleted member 14190]

My kids go to an awesome gym with incredible coaching. Obviously it isn't perfect, but it's a great place to bring up a variety of gymnasts with varying skill levels and goals. These coaches have their moods and do things we don't always understand, but they always get the job done and do it with compassion and real dedication. I couldn't imagine my gymmie coming up in any other place.

YET, so many parents find every little thing to gripe about. I help out in the gym and try to be a peacekeeper among parents but I just hate all the bad mouthing that goes on amongst parents. I know it happens everywhere, it just gets old.

Thats it, just had to get it out. I know many f you have similar experiences, I just wish there was more room for positive talk in gym lobbies.

====

Obviously, parents sitting in a viewing area is always a problem and NOTHING good ever comes from it. Our team did very well last year with over 35 state champions, but,,, sadly I still hear and field complaints. Some parents are obviously instigators, though they will never admit to it, and some just like to complain about anything. Lastly, the biggest complainers usually don't work. That is my observation.

 

[Natasha]

====

Obviously, parents sitting in a viewing area is always a problem and NOTHING good ever comes from it. Our team did very well last year with over 35 state champions, but,,, sadly I still hear and field complaints. Some parents are obviously instigators, though they will never admit to it, and some just like to complain about anything. Lastly, the biggest complainers usually don't work. That is my observation.

I disagree. We have a parent viewing area (through glass). While there are sometimes issues with some parents, there are also benefits. Parents can see for themselves whether their child is working or not. Parents see every day how hard our coaches work. Parents can get an appreciation of just how hard it is to get that skill that looks so easy in competition. Parents of very young new team members can have their mind put at ease being able to watch their child. Parents can watch coach/gymnast interactions and feel confident that their child is in good hands and is not being emotionally or otherwise abused. (Unfortunately this happens in our sport). The type of parent who is going to complain will find things to complain about whether they view practices or not. It will just come out at meets instead of in the viewing area. Some of our parents who complain the most are the ones that do not watch and do not understand at all what it takes on a daily basis in the gym to accomplish the results at meets.

 

[Gymmom495]

Quad queen- just for verification who were you referring to in your last statement? Just curious.

 

[Quadqueen]

Quad queen- just for verification who were you referring to in your last statement? Just curious.

I believe GymBeeMom's gym is an elite gym and the girls are tracked very early on. She has mentioned that her daughter practiced something like 30 hours a week at level 7. I was just wondering if the parents that are complaining are in this same program. I would think at that type of gym/program you might encounter more "involved" parents than at a "regular" gym, for lack of a better word. The parents have been told their kids have a lot of potential, and are on this "fast track."

She did not say what the complaining was about, but from reading here, parents who complain are usually complaining that their child isn't being coached properly, or some other gymnast is getting more attention than their own, etc.

This topic of parent viewing vs. non-viewing seems to come up often. I can see benefits of both.

 

[Gymmom495]

That is very true. We belonged to a gym for several years that allowed viewing and it caused a definite problem, when you have that many women sitting around for that many hours with that much idle time something is bound to go wrong. The gymnasts there put in a lot of hours and the owners I believe were attempting to eventually turn their gym into an elite training facility but the entire place was crashing and burning for several reasons that I will not disclose.
The gym we are at now is, and has been an elite training facility for a while and the girls put in long hours. This gym also allows open viewing, but there is a big difference in the professionalism at this gym. The coaches have it, the athletes have it, and even the parents have it. There is very little conversation coming from the viewing area, because from what I can tell it seems smaller in size and pretty close up to where the athletes enter and exit the floor. The coaches are right on top of anyone if they are out of line, parent or athlete. I love this gym because yes they teach gymnastics but they also teach the girls to respect the coaches, parents, teammates, and most of all themselves. It's a completely different environment than I'm use to. You can see the difference in how these girls train. They all support each other out there even if they are not the same level.

 

[GymBeeMom]

Yup, totally open viewing. We see EVERYTHING that happens in the gym. Love it...

 

[GymBeeMom]

I have one kid in the day program who does go many hours, and I have one kid in the night program who goes an average number of hours. I am always in the lobby (I dont stay but am in during drop off and pick up). I hear gripes from all levels and all walks of life. Im not naive to the various reasons people complain, I just get tired of hearing it. Plenty of gyms in our area to pick from if they aren't happy where they are at...

Also, I believe regardless of hours or training track all the parents are equally invested in their child's happiness and success.

 

[Gymmom495]

Amen to that. Maybe they just complain because they are just miserable people period, I bet if you followed them around all day you would find that they are the ones complaining at their child's school, at the restaurant they eat at, the hotels they stay in, etc.....

 

[GymBeeMom]

does this gym have open viewing?

Yes...why do you ask?

 

[Deleted member D3987]

my experience tells me that open viewing causes more problems than not. it's too bad.