Parents Virgin gymnastics mom. Need advice!!

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rmankini

Proud Parent
Hi there, my daughter is 5 and in pre-team. Has been for about 4 1/2 months. The head coach is amazing! Very no nonsense. We take privates with her as well. However the coach for her pre team is much more lax...tickles and plays around. Ect. I find this not the place for pre team. She especially does this to a little girl who has no focus and in my opinion has no business in pre team.

I want to discuss this with my daughters head coach ( the one we have privates with and who is above my daughters coach) without alienating her or sounding like "crazy gym mom!" I realize they are 5 and they do have fun, but the coach is constantly spending so much time trying to get this girl to do what she is supposed to and in an effort, tickles her and has fun with her, placates her ect...it's ridiculous! How do I bring this up? Thanks so much!!
 
I can conceive of no good outcome from a conversation with the head coach. Odds are, they have been doing this a while and are pleased with the results. Your opinion of how a pre-team class should be run and who should be invited is not likely to be well-received. For every mom who is thinking their pre-team coach is too lax, there is another who thinks he/she is too tough. The best advice you'll get on this forum is to stop watching practice. Then it won't annoy you any more. I'm not saying your situation is perfect, I'm saying this isn't a battle worth fighting. She's five and having fun. If you trust the head coach, then leave the rest up to her.
 
Not trying to be snarky in any way, but ...
Don't worry about it. If the other girl doesn't belong on preteam, she won't make it on team. You don't necessarily know what is going on behind the scenes. Different gymnasts need different things.
Just worry about your daughter. She is obviously doing well.
 
Thanks. I would never mention the other little girl doesn't belong there.. Totally not my business. What is so annoying is the goofing off by the coach which sets the tone. One which "this isn't very serious." And the inordinate amount of time the coach takes to get this girl to do what's she is supposed to. Meanwhile the other girls are working hard. I would think the philosophy is "you rise to the occasion" not the other way around. Thanks for the reies. I do appreciate them!! :)
 
THis could be the coach's style. Every coach is going to have a different style, and that is human nature. She must get a lot out of the kiddos or they would not have her there. And we don't know the whole story behind the interaction with the one girl.

I know my son does better with a bit of playfulness than all the time seriousness. But because of his exposure to lots of different coaches, he has learned to adapt to many styles.
 
My advice would be....leave it alone. When your DD gets to team the atmosphere will become much more serious in a short amount of time. Probably this other coach is pre-team for a reason. She is fun! She is helping install the love of the sport. And that's great. And they are 5. Giggles and tickles are perfectly appropriate.
 
Thanks everyone. I SO appreciate it. Yes, she loves it. And your responses make sense. Her privates are 45 minutes and they are serious. Therefore, I suppose at 5 1/2 the training class (as lax as I feel it might be) along with the private might strike a great balance at this time. My daughter practices something nearly every night after her bath, so she is a determined little girl. I so don't want to be "That mom." So I do appreciate the candid feedback. I will not say anything and stay the course and focus on our own goals. :)
 
I don't think privates at 5 or even 4 are uncommon. I see it all the time. My daughter loves it and she is just perfecting her form and learning new skills and getting some extra attention in the privates. My daughter actually likes the privates more. And I have always told my daughter if she ever wants to quit she can, so the question regarding the privates is because she loves them.
 
Can I ask why you are taking regular privates at 5 1/2? It is just something i never would have dreamed of. Even now, my ds gets 4 routine construction privates, and maybe 1-2 more year to get ready for a big meet (he is a level 9)

ETA: I see you answered that. Still can't imagine pre-team. At our gym, maybe 1 out of 25 gets a private at that age, and it is typically jsut to work on a particular skill.
 
Coming from the perspective as a mom of a girl who went through a "tough preteam" program? Appreciate having a coach who makes it fun. DD managed serious preteam for a little over a year before we had to switch programs. She nearly left the sport.

While we questioned whether she was "cut out" for team at the time, we gave her a shot. She now is back at that original gym and is handling the seriousness just fine.

They also now sometimes blow off steam and have fun. That's what makes my DD currently love it so fiercely, and it helps her bond with coaches/teammates.

I also agree that mentioning it likely won't do any good, and may put them on the defensive. For the girl that "can't focus" perhaps the "tickles and playing around" is the coach's method to pull her back in. As a parent of an ADHD child, I can appreciate that. A child will tune out constant reprimands.
 
I answered it above and with all due respect, I think we all could do without any judgment.

There was no judgement. at all. Just my opinion. It can be different from yours. I have just seen many kiddos over the years burn out due to privates and extras, etc. At that age, it is always good to leave them wanting more.

Back on topic: at 5 should be lots of fun, and giggles, etc. I know the coaches at our gym who coach the littles are always making it look fun!
 
Coming from the perspective as a mom of a girl who went through a "tough preteam" program? Appreciate having a coach who makes it fun. DD managed serious preteam for a little over a year before we had to switch programs. She nearly left the sport.

While we questioned whether she was "cut out" for team at the time, we gave her a shot. She now is back at that original gym and is handling the seriousness just fine.

They also now sometimes blow off steam and have fun. That's what makes my DD currently love it so fiercely, and it helps her bond with coaches/teammates.

I also agree that mentioning it likely won't do any good, and may put them on the defensive. For the girl that "can't focus" perhaps the "tickles and playing around" is the coach's method to pull her back in. As a parent of an ADHD child, I can appreciate that. A child will tune out constant reprimands.

I hear so often of coaches being too tough, so I suppose that I would rather have this problem (given her young age) than the opposite one for sure.
 
What's wrong with having fun at gym? My girls are on the same team and the coaches are great at keeping it a little fun often giving free time after practice. There is a great balance of one more serious Coach and one more lax. Their team has won the last 5 meets. I think it is a positive thing to keep it fun and playful especially at 5 years old!! Kids aren't training for olympics here you know :)
 
Not sure if you read all my responses. I have no problem with having fun. That wasn't really the nature of my question.
 
I don't think tickles are appropriate at the gym in general. Of your entire post, that is what stuck out to me the most. I agree with others that making it less serious at that level is probably best- to prevent long-term burnout and because kids that little should just be having a blast. Still, with the tickles though. Hmm. I guess it's a thing with me.
 
It sounds like the coach is just trying to keep the little girl's interest as much as possible. It sounds like your daughter has great focus and maturity for a 5 year old, and that's wonderful but that's not always the case. Maturity can sometimes be an indicator on who moves up to team and who needs to maybe have another year of pre team first. It could very well be that this child just needs a little more time to get adjusted to pre team, moving from rec to pre team is a big change. I would expect that things would probably improve in the coming months, I wouldn't stress too much about it.

As far as the privates go, I think the occasional is ok at this age, however weekly or even bi weekly may be a bit much. Keep in mind how young she is and there is always the possibility for overuse injuries, so you don't really want to take that risk any sooner than you have to. Privates are usually skills focused and the most important thing you should focus on at this age is keeping her well conditioned and healthy. Building that strength and flexibility will make the skills come faster and safer later on. Perhaps the head coach could recommend a stretching/conditioning regiment to do with your dd at home in place of some of the privates?
 

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