WAG Welcoming kids back after switching gyms?

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ozonelakesgymnast

Coach
Proud Parent
Gymnast
Hey,
I've recently accepted a position as a competitive teams director and optional team head coach, formerly just an optional team coach. Before I was hired, a bunch of girls left to go to another gym and were hopeful to come back when someone was hired. These girls are comoulsories and I have a very strong track record of compulsory development. Some came back when I started and some are still at the other gym and will compete there this coming season. Parents are expecting they can come back if it doesn't go well. This does not sit with me very well at all. One of the parents is even on our board and should know better! Does anyone have experience with this??? What would you do? I would really rather not take them back, I'm revamping a program and don't need that kind of attitude. Needing lots of suggestions!!
 
I feel like we're missing some information. I think it's pretty normal for kids to leave a gym when coaches leave, and if they later see that a new coach is doing well, I would fully expect also that some would want to come back. I specifically am confused by your attitude comment> Have they shown attitude toward you, or you just don't like that they feel they can return?

Kids and parents can't help when a coach leaves, and I feel like as a parent, I would just try to do what was best for my kid. I'm saying this as someone who has not made a gym switch, we've been at the same place for several years, but have seen kids come and go, some of which left and came back to our program.
 
I'm also a little confused...the parent is on the board, is moving the child, but will remain on the board?? Or just expects to be able to come back??
 
I get that parents would think they're doing the best thing, but they have made no effort to respond to team emails, etc. It's been a few months and we have been up and running successfully. The gymnasts are looking better than ever, though we still have some culture to build.

The attitude thing...they think they are just welcome back after they've had plenty of time to see what's going on and do so. Parents are talking they can compete a few meets with this gym and just come on back mid season if it's not for them. It's strange to me.

Our teams are on full roster right now with only two level 3 spots and 4 training team spots. They want me to make an exception in the event they want to come back. This is not in the best interest of our program or athletes.
 
only a parent here but from my side, I have to do what is in my dd's best interest. I am not sure leaving to go back to the old gym just before the season starts would be in her best interest. So I would likely stay at the other gym until the season is over, and "hope" we could switch afterward. It is the risk I would take.

Given the new info your provided, that does seem odd that they automatically expect you to take them back - and mid-season to boot! No, that is not OK. As a coach and director (which I am not), I would not accept this in this situation.
 
A parent is on the board, will remain on the board, while their compulsory gymnasts are competing for a competitor gym.
what board? booster club? actual gym board? Is the parent also a prominent member of the area? Board members routinely are people who are not affiliated with the company but it does seem odd that he/she would stay on with dd in other gym. conflict of interest in my mind.
 
They are on our primary board, as a secretary. We only have athlete parents, health partners, and high school team parents on our board. I wouldn't say she is prominent in the community. She won't even make eye contact with me when I say hi. I think she is embarrassed.
 
I would welcome the gymnasts back if they are a good fit for your program and if you have room for them. If you don't have room, then I'm not sure how they expect you to accommodate them even if you wanted to.

The board situation is a bit strange but maybe she doesn't want to cut all ties until she's sure that she won't be back.
 
A parent is on the board, will remain on the board, while their compulsory gymnasts are competing for a competitor gym.
this is a huge conflict of interest. i can't believe this would be allowed. The parent should not be on the board if their child is competing for another gym, they are paying another gym, etc. What's in it for the parent to stay? Why isn't someone stepping up and asking them to resign? That would be the normal course of action.
 
I get that parents would think they're doing the best thing, but they have made no effort to respond to team emails, etc. It's been a few months and we have been up and running successfully. The gymnasts are looking better than ever, though we still have some culture to build.

The attitude thing...they think they are just welcome back after they've had plenty of time to see what's going on and do so. Parents are talking they can compete a few meets with this gym and just come on back mid season if it's not for them. It's strange to me.

Our teams are on full roster right now with only two level 3 spots and 4 training team spots. They want me to make an exception in the event they want to come back. This is not in the best interest of our program or athletes.
You should just make a policy now to address something like this. Let it be known that they can't just come back in the middle of the season. Maybe set out dates for closing team to new members (with the exception of someone new moving to the area or coming from your class program, and those will be handled on a case-by-case basis), and for when try-outs or evaluations for next year's team will be held. The situation you are describing is not good for either gym or the gymnasts. Fees, salaries, team entries, team size, and coaching needs all will be determined for both gyms based on right now. Also, the uncertainty is not good for either gym or the gymnasts, and it would seem a lot of distrust and hurt feelings and bad blood would be the result of midseason switching if the grass isn't greener where they are now.
 
OK, I totally think the board thing is strange. I would think not having a child on the team would immediately forfeit your board position. This comes from someone who spent three years as BC president at previous gym. I would never have thought that if dd left the gym that I would get to stay on the board, even if I thought we might come back.

But, just to give a little perspective we have lived through years of coach drama which eventually led to the shut down of a program and when you sit there and watch a program fall apart and coaches coming and going it is very emotional and very exhausting. I can't say anything about what these parents expect or don't expect but if there was a gap in coaching and you were hired after a coach left or a program collapsed I would not leave my child in that uncertainty and this is coming from someone who hung in there until the bitter end with a coach and followed him out the door along with a good chunk of the program.

All I am saying and I guess I don't know if you worked there before and were promoted or this is a new job for you but if you just arrived there then who knows what these parents are thinking or have been through. Yes, some parents are jerks and ready to jump ship and think the world should revolve around them and there children and if you are dealing with this then I am sorry for that.

But most parents are just trying to do what's best for our kids and sometimes get run through the ringer and ignored and blamed and then are expected to fall back in line again when some new hot shot coach arrives.

I have no idea what your situation is and as the new head coach there you don't have to let these parents get away with anything you don't want to. They made a choice, I made the same choice myself, and whatever our choices we have to live with the consequences of them. If they jumped ship too early then that is on them and you should take your team and run with it and just tell them no.

But I would just encourage you to try to see a bit through the eyes of a parent of a competitive gymnast. It is a journey all it's own with it's own growth and learning curve just as I am sure you have gone through your own growth journey in your coaching career. Good luck!
 
1. The parent mentioned should NOT be on the board as she and her DD are no longer affiliated with the gym.
2. If the team is full, they are full. You could always explain this and offer to put them on a wait list ;)
3. Normally, we welcome back gymnasts who have previously left… but at the beginning of the school year, or at the latest, 1 month before the first meet… but we can change our roster for a meet up to 2 weeks before, so we have time. HOWEVER, we do not let old gymnasts come back FROM ANOTHER TEAM mid-season unless that gym closes down. Mid-season we only allow girls to move up from rec (if they are REALLY ready with all skills solid… and they have to move up by mid-December) or if they have just moved to the area.
 
I have not read all the responses. But the basic thing for me is quite simple.

Why would you not be open minded enough to not be willing to take someone back, who discovered the grass is not always greener.
Why would you not be open minded enough to realize that the parents left because the gym enviroment didn't fit them but it changed and now does.
Why would you not be open minded enough to look at the kids as individual gymnasts and objectively look at their skills, talent, work ethic and make a decision.

Its about the kids. Right?
 
I'm guessing there are other people involved who have authority over the matter who are allowing them to come back? Like is there ownership/management involved who wants them back or is the board that this parent sits on the one that makes the final decision. Did they reach some type of deal before they left that they were allowed to come back?
 
I will agree the parent on the board is certainly strange and that needs to be changed.

However as far as taking them back, it is your decision and I understand not letting them come back mid season (leotards need to be ordered, meet fees need to be paid, etc). But perhaps leave the door open for them to come back after state. I can understand the parent's point of view here. If huge changes were taking place at your gym, (coaches leaving, not enough coaches, drama, a complete shut down of the program, etc) I would be cautious to come back too. They may want to see how stable things look for you guys during competition season before they decide whether they would consider coming back. Now they shouldn't "expect" it, but I don't see why keeping the door open (within reason and not in competition season if you're not comfortable with that) would be a problem, especially if they left when the program was unstable.
 
Thank you everyone for your responses. I like all of the different perspectives and this will help me make a better decision. It is solely me who decides whether kids can come back or not. I think it is smart not to let those kids come back mid season, but I will definitely open the door after state. This is better for the stability of both gyms and teams.

I will talk with our executive director about this board member, I know her feelings are on the same page so I think we should be able to work it out together.
 
I have not read all the responses. But the basic thing for me is quite simple.

Why would you not be open minded enough to not be willing to take someone back, who discovered the grass is not always greener.
Why would you not be open minded enough to realize that the parents left because the gym enviroment didn't fit them but it changed and now does.
Why would you not be open minded enough to look at the kids as individual gymnasts and objectively look at their skills, talent, work ethic and make a decision.

Its about the kids. Right?
Yes, dear. It is about the kids. The problem is the mid-season switch. She said they are planning to compete for another gym a little bit then head back over to this gym. That is not acceptable. At the end of the season, fine. It's been done many times. But you can't run a business like this, and it isn't fair to the rival gym or to the gymnasts committed to the team in the OP's gym. That's why.
 
Yes, dear. It is about the kids. The problem is the mid-season switch. She said they are planning to compete for another gym a little bit then head back over to this gym. That is not acceptable. At the end of the season, fine. It's been done many times. But you can't run a business like this, and it isn't fair to the rival gym or to the gymnasts committed to the team in the OP's gym. That's why.
Well dear I call bull.

Every situation, child, family, gym and coach is different.

That kids usually move at the end of the season doesn't mean a move never happens mid season. Thank goodness when we switched gyms we had coaches more open to what was acceptable, or my kid would of been done with gymnastics.

And dear, if you had read my post I said I had not read all the responses. In the original post, it read as the poster was not open to a return at all.
 

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