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What do I do

Lostmama

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Aug 15, 2019
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My daughter is level 9. Her head coach filled me in tonight with drama in the organization. She basically said she wanted what was best for my daughter to progress so if she had to help us find a new gym she would. She will be leaving after the upcoming season. My daughter is 15 and has been with the coach since she was 3. She is her 2nd mom. Do I wait to move or go with the coaches blessing? It’s not just gymnastics it’s my daughters family away from home. In all honesty her coach said with the issues she will not progress. She was crying but 100% honest.
 

Flyaway

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Jun 1, 2014
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Wow, I'm so sorry. I think it's a blessing that the coach gave you a head's up. You know change is coming - whether you deal with it now (leaving now) or later (waiting until the coach leaves), you are going to have to deal with it. I would take the gift of time the coach has given you and do lots of research and don't make any rash, emotion-fueled decisions. Good luck to you and your dd.
 

M2Abi

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Jan 21, 2016
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I think it is easiest to switch gyms after the competitive season. If there isn't a compelling reason to leave now, I would very quietly research other places and go at the end of the season.
 

duyetanh

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Feb 21, 2015
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Um I would leave. As in next week. The coach is giving your child a heads up, and for that she should be commended! But she is a level nine who is fifteen. If she wants any chance at competing in college, she needs to make sure this year is not wasted. I would not stay and waste a year of time and money, no matter the relationship. In fact, BECAUSE of the relationship, I would leave. The coach cared enough to tell you, and it would probably keep the relationship, not wreck it or strain it in the future. Yes change is hard. But it’s August, not December. And we know girls who have even come to the team right before the season started, and they did fine. Sometimes girls even move mid season. Is it ideal? No. Is it possible and doable? Yes. And it can be done successfully. I say go. Start researching gyms and go visit them. Hopefully you have some ideas already, or perhaps the coach can even give you guidance. Good luck, and I am sure this is very hard for everyone!
 

GymDadWA

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Dec 30, 2017
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Assuming that the big issue is with the owner, head coach, or someone that has more say in the issue than your child's coach, so it would be unlikely that waiting it out would work out well.

Does the coach know where she is going? Is that somewhere your child would be able to follow to or head towards ahead of time? Is there a gym that your child can go to with other optional level girls so that the family stays together somewhat?
 
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Aussie_coach

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Jan 4, 2008
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Are there other coaches you can talk to? Do you have anyway of doing a fact check?

What concerns me is that you may have a one sided opinion on the situation from a disgruntled employee. That may not be the case, but it’s a big depiction and you want to make sure you have all the information you can get.
 

John

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May 5, 2017
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Your daughter is 15. She is vested in her own future. How about sitting with her explaining the situation and together come up with a few possible solutions you all, as a family, can agree on. Let Her decide on her future.
 
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Lostmama

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Aug 15, 2019
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Her head coach and assistant coach both verified the issues. Her coach has given me recommendations, she was holding back tears because my daughter is the best they ever had and doesn’t want to hold her back because of our facility. She is confident she could coach her there just not in this gym. The coach has been beyond honest saying it would be the hardest thing she’d have to do, by helping her move but she wants the best. That is why she told us, because we have the most to lose in this situation. I love her coach, as I said she has been he 2nd mom at times more discipline. ( I’ve found my self at home being like I’m gonna tell coach if you don’t do this) Basically our gym doesn’t have a pit, and that is holding her back. Not a huge deal because she does 2x backs on floor and bars learning with out one. Which is a huge deal to most gymnasts. The building was sold 2 years ago and the new owners promised the world and hasn’t happened. With the departure of 2 high level coaches her head coach knows she cant possibly give her the attention she needs. It’s selfless. I don’t know if that hurts more. My daughter doesn’t know yet, I’ve been trying to wrap my head around it first. It’s been a few days but my instinct is to leave before the season starts, having her coach help finding her a coach and moving forward. She wants college gymnastics, as a mom I just worry about the other aspects. She has been their since she was 3, they are family. It’s like she’s be leaving on bad terms but it will be hard on a 15 year old. I just hope I’ve done enough as a mom to prepare her.
 

Natasha

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Jan 28, 2011
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Sounds like the coach is telling you that if she stays the year will be wasted and she will not progress. L9 and L10 skills are tough, you need an experienced coach who can coach those skills (and has the time) and the needed equipment. The 2 high level coaches leaving is concerning. Sounds like you have a great coach that really wants the best for your dd.