Parents What do you tell your gymnast when they're scared?

[Flyaway]

Last night dd confessed to me that they've been working on new skills, and some of them are scary. And through tearful eyes she told me she didn't know what to do.

I fumbled through a response, trying to encourage her, reminding her that her worth and value is not tied up in what skills she has, that skills she can do now easily were at one time scary, that she'll get through this, that she can be brave, she can talk to her coach, etc. etc. Honestly I was half awake (because of course these big conversations crop up AFTER I've already put the kiddos to bed... why???) and I'm not sure I really said all the right things.

What are your go-to responses when your gymmie gets scared?

 

[MuggleMom]

I tell her its ok to be scared--scared is a normal feeling everyone has at times-- but you shouldn't let being scared stop you from doing things you want to do. Also DD loves roller coasters and the first few times we went on one she asked me if it would be "scary" and I said yes its "scary" but an exciting kind of scary--trying something new and getting that crazy feeling in your stomach. There is a difference between bad scary and excited scary and she should look at roller coasters as excited scary. I now tell her the same thing about skills---you can be excited about it--like this is scary but its going to be fun--then its not a point of stress or negativity in your life because negativity wont get you anywhere.

I think its helpful to frame the fear as a positive thing (and a normal thing) so that they don't dwell on it. Acknowledge it and move forward. For DD half the time she is good after getting it off her chest that its scary or new. Like a one night freak out then the next day she is her easy going self again.

 

[Flyaway]

I tell her its ok to be scared--scared is a normal feeling everyone has at times-- but you shouldn't let being scared stop you from doing things you want to do. Also DD loves roller coasters and the first few times we went on one she asked me if it would be "scary" and I said yes its "scary" but an exciting kind of scary--trying something new and getting that crazy feeling in your stomach. There is a difference between bad scary and excited scary and she should look at roller coasters as excited scary. I now tell her the same thing about skills---you can be excited about it--like this is scary but its going to be fun--then its not a point of stress or negativity in your life because negativity wont get you anywhere.

I think its helpful to frame the fear as a positive thing (and a normal thing) so that they don't dwell on it. Acknowledge it and move forward. For DD half the time she is good after getting it off her chest that its scary or new. Like a one night freak out then the next day she is her easy going self again.

Oh this is so great and exactly what I was looking for. Thank you!!

 

[2gymkids]

My DD's coaches used to push her to tell them when she was scared so that they could encourage her, break the skill down if necessary. As for what I said? I always used to ask "has coach x ever asked you to do something you weren't ready for?" and she would respond "no" and I would remind her to both trust and communicate with her coaches.

 

[munchkin3]

Scared is part of gymnastics. It is her brain telling her she can hurt herself badly doing some of these crazy skills. Totally normal.
What she has to do is come up with positive thinking......she has to trust her work and her coaches training. Her coaches are there to spot, help her, support, etc.....
She NEEDS to begin to communicate how she feels with her coaches. ie. I feel scared when i flip, I freak out when i dont see the ground...etc.
Then she needs to break it down and begin step by step to BUILD upon what she can do.
She needs to think of it as conditioning.....the more positive baby steps she takes, the more confident she grows.....all of this with the coaches help.
ie....BHS Beam, start on floor, move to floor beam with mats, begin removing mats.....etc....everyday consistency....
For parents......dont give her the 'its ok to be scared' or 'it dosent make you a bad gymnast' speech.........tell her to work a plan.
FEAR will be part of this sport while shes doing it. period.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

I tell them this. "it's okay to be afraid, you will get through it". I will add that I also tell them not to fear fear, in other words its okay.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I tell her its quite normal and expected. I remind her when she thought other things were scary that she can now do. I remind her I sprained my ankle walking to the parking lot.

And I remind her that they do a ton of work to get them ready for the skill and her coaches are not going to let her do something they don't think she is ready for.

And then I say it will come when its time, just keep working at it. Now go have fun.

 

[stillhoping]

Dd listened to some Olympic gymnasts talk about fears once, and Simone Biles said she was scared of a double pike. It seemed ridiculous, since my dd is training that skill, and Simone can do a Biles. We talk about that double pike whenever dd feels scared. Everyone, even the best gymnasts in the world, have fears. Fears normal, and sometimes ridiculous, and in no way make you a bad gymnast.

 

[kitkat]

I try not to talk to Alex about stuff like that. No matter what I would say would be wrong. She sees a sports therapist. She will say all the right things.
Try and encourage your gymnie to talk to the coaches about her fears.