WAG What does it take to make a GREAT gymnast?

[mommyof1]

Notice how much is about parents backing off and staying out of the gummies gymnastics. Just saying

I think the parents can feel comfortable backing off and staying out of it because the coach is keeping them appropriately informed about what's going on. I bet coachp doesn't have a problem with excessive observation of practice because parents don't feel they have anything to worry about.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I think the parents can feel comfortable backing off and staying out of it because the coach is keeping them appropriately informed about what's going on. I bet coachp doesn't have a problem with excessive observation of practice because parents don't feel they have anything to worry about.

And because it’s a rule/expectation set by coachp for the parents

 

[Mish]

I wish more gyms had a similar balking strategy. So great to keep the kid from dwelling on it. One thing you missed on the cause of fear issues is a bad fall or mishap. It could be a skill the kid has done a lot abs the crash is just a fluke but now there is fear. Thus requires retaining their brain to not think of/expect the crash again. Your strategy would really help there too.

Yes, this. Once this happens, plus some pressure to get it back because you've had it before, how to overcome it? I have to say that my dd's current coach is doing a GREAT job removing the pressure and doing basics to get the skill (giant) back. But, I feel like some damage has already been done. Great system you explained, @coachp

 

[John]

I hope if @coachp were to give his true feeling about parental observation that he does not have a problem with any parent "watching".

Maybe the problem is when unthoughtful or unaware parents contribute to the gymnast's mental issues.

I have seen some parents say they are there to watch and never do. I have seen this disappoint a gymnast or two.

I have also seen the parent coaching or yelling from the observation area, even last night, I watched a boys team mom go out on the floor to talk to her gymnast about his effort level.

I can open myself to both sides of the issue. That is why I know there must be a TEAM that consists of coaches, gymnasts, and parents. To me, this TEAM is non-negotiable.

Lastly please let us not publicly judge coaches who are offering us what they believe works, we can save that for another discussion, I want to educate myself and other concerned parents to successful techniques that will help or gymnasts. We as parents always reserve the right to object in a very direct manner, taking our gymnast to another gym.

 

[mommyof1]

Lastly please let us not publicly judge coaches who are offering us what they believe works, we can save that for another discussion, I want to educate myself and other concerned parents to successful techniques that will help or gymnasts. We as parents always reserve the right to object in a very direct manner, taking our gymnast to another gym.

I don't see anyone saying anything negative about the information being offered, only positives?

 

[Sk8ermaiden]

I think the parents can feel comfortable backing off and staying out of it because the coach is keeping them appropriately informed about what's going on.

This x 1000. Seen it in action. One gym with great communication and CGMs were few and far between, new gym has no communication and basically every mom is a CGM. It is the craziest thing I've ever seen. And everyone watched practice at both, so it's nothing to do with that. It's very clear it's because the moms have no idea what's going on and they're trying to fill in the gaps for themselves and usually not doing a great job of it.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I hope if @coachp were to give his true feeling about parental observation that he does not have a problem with any parent "watching".

Coachp has shared his true feelings on parents watching. On many many threads, including this one. He doesn’t expect to see parents in the gym a lot.

We try to educate the parents to about Anxiety and fear issues and ask them to stay out of gym for these reasons. They are allowed to drop in at any time but not all the time. One or two workouts a month are plenty. We also educate the parents about pressure.

Which means.

Staying out of the coaching aspect of the sport.

Don’t show disproval over performance. (you don’t have to lie, just keep it simple, “keep working at it you will get it” )

Please let us know if anything at home is bad (this is super important).

Please trust us when we keep your child in a level because they are not ready. (this is hard because not every gym is the same, but a track record exists online for anyone to look at it up, mymeetscores).

Please trust us when we put your kid in a certain group. (obviously this is different from gym to gym but we are talking about my gym).
.

 

[mommyof1]

I hope if @coachp were to give his true feeling about parental observation that he does not have a problem with any parent "watching".

When I said "I bet coachp doesn't have a problem with excessive observation of practice" I meant that I am guessing there are not a lot of parents watching every practice because they don't feel the need to monitor everything that's going on in the gym, knowing they can trust that the coaches will let them know if there's a problem. Not to put words in coachp's mouth, just interpreting his post from a parental perspective.

 

[John]

I fully understand everyone's point of view on patents watching, as well as coachp's view. I think in the right setting watching is fine, my opinion. I also think being asked to not watch is wrong. Of Course everything in moderation and foster team.

I also believe coachp can learn something from parents.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I think in the right setting watching is fine, my opinion

Not to put words in anyone’s mouth. I think coachp is likely to say the right setting for parents to watch on a regular basis would meets.

 

[e'smum]

because my dd has been going through it - you need mental toughness. she thinks she's a "bad" gymnast b/c it's taking longer for her to get skills now. she says she "can't" do a skill now that she did all last year. mentally i'm uncertain if she will be able to stay in the sport.

physically? she can do the skills. she's a tough cookie and really strong. something shook her and i don't know if she'll get her drive back. another thing that makes a great gymnast. you need to be dedicated and willing to have your entire life be focused on gymnastics. she's deciding she wants to be good at other things too.

you can always move gyms to find a better gym/find better coaches. move across the country even - which takes family commitment as well. but you have to be mentally tough and willing to work on getting over fears, which they all get at some point.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Keeping them interested.


Gymnastics is already hard enough right? All we can do is try to eliminate the things that may drive them away and guide them through the tough times.

A few things

Hitting puberty

Ugh.... The girl who hits puberty and wants to quit to hang at the mall. Seriously sometimes these kids just turn into different people and reject everything. Often these kids get too cool for school and think they are smarter than everyone else. It’s like that sweet little girl disappeared and got really smart but not… It’s pretty common for kids to get stagnant or even get worse at gymnastics during this time.. This is hard and this is where…. Drum roll….. YOU as a parent get to step in and help! YAY! Unfortunately you are probably just a perplexed as we are at that time. J I always do my best to explain to the kid and parent that these feelings and emotions are not real and they will subside but it may take a few months (yea, more like 6-8 on average). So often they just up and quit, but sometimes with the parents help they are kept in. Meaning the parents refuse them an exit until several months have passed, this actually works but is a slipper slope. So we do what we can and cross our fingers. Sorry no magic potion here. This is when the fun stuff and a strong team bond are very helpful.

I will say that I can think of a few kids who recently went all the way through this and 1 just got committed to a full ride athletic scholarship. The other made it though to the other side and is kicking herself for basically getting nothing done for a year. I just told her 3 hours ago, that we can’t make up for last year or be angry about it, moving on!


Smothering parents

So of course you guessed it, Keeping the parents out of the coaching aspect of the sport is a big one. Why? Because they could suck the fun out of it by “trying to help”. I know, I know! I keep going back to this… I really do like my parents!
But guys, eventually they hit puberty and want to be left alone. Again we are eliminating anything that sucks the fun out of gym. Sorry that could be you.


Boring coaches / workouts

This is pretty simple, there needs to be a couple of coaches that the kids at least enjoy being around. After all we are spending years together hours at a time.

When they are young they will take a lot, but when they get older they do need a little humanity and fun. So I encourage the coaches to play games, team the kids up, keep it interesting, be animated, get loud but be strict at the same time.
We also shake things up by having a couple of water balloon battles in the back parking lot, (last time we went through 1400 water balloons). The kids remember that stuff. We also have a spirit week, that has a different theme each day. Crazy hair, costume contest, ninja warrior day, treasure hunt day and then the water balloon finally. Today in fact it was over 100 in the gym, which is not common, so…. We took 21 upper level kids to smoothie king to cool off. Obviously we can’t do that often, nor do I want them drinking smoothies, but every once in a while you have to throw them a bone.

We also give away stuff on occasion, like key chains or stickers. We recently bought 100 emoji key chains for like $30 bucks and wow…. They will do anything to win one of those.


Problems beyond the gym (divorce, school etc..)

This is a biggie and I have absolutely lost kids to parents splitting etc… Just let your coaches know that something is up so we can do our best to give the kid an oasis from the home problems.

I always tell the kids school is not important and gym is the only thing in life. Of course I am joking when I tell them this, and they no longer laugh at it because my jokes are old. But I do realize that the kids do miss school for gym to travel, so missing gym for a school function is just life. I encourage the kids to go to the homecoming game and one or two other football games a year. This is important as it gives them a sense of unity to the school, which is important for college in my opinion. So well worth it and again… throwing them a bone.


BOYS

Simple really we don’t let them date, talk or even look at boys. Yea right! Good luck with that!



Anyways, I am sure I missed a bunch but you get the gist.

Next topic is injury and rehab.

 

[profmom]

Again, great post! I think you're onto something big here -- if a gym is working well, it can be a real haven and respite for teenagers. Yes, it provides its own set of stresses, but it's a different culture from high school, and it can provide a way to do the all important work of individuation and separation from one's parents. And I have seen more than one kid use gym to escape or set aside problems at home. It also provides a separate set of adults modeling adult behavior with whom they are spending a lot of time. Coaches are not really a backup set of parents, but I think sometimes gym coaches function like those aunts and uncles teenagers retreat to when they are separating psychologically from parents but still realize unconsciously that they need trusted adults in their lives.

Hey Coach P, does your gym have a strategy for keeping boys in during puberty? What I have seen by us and heard about in other places is that the hardest time for boys is when they are waiting for puberty and going through it -- they want to be able to learn new skills, but their bodies don't yet have the strength to do them, and as their bodies are changing, skills they previously mastered become hard again. `They're also much more subject to injuries of all sorts. We recently lost two who were really frustrated about their lack of progression and their feeling that they just would not be competitive at their in-age levels. If they'd been able to stick it out through one more tough comp year, I'm betting both would have been solid L10s in 2018-19. I know puberty is tough for girls too, as it wreaked havoc on my DD's bars, but the particular association with needing gym skills involving testosterone-fueled strength right around that time seems to be a particular issue for boys.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Again, great post! I think you're onto something big here -- if a gym is working well, it can be a real haven and respite for teenagers. Yes, it provides its own set of stresses, but it's a different culture from high school, and it can provide a way to do the all important work of individuation and separation from one's parents. And I have seen more than one kid use gym to escape or set aside problems at home. It also provides a separate set of adults modeling adult behavior with whom they are spending a lot of time. Coaches are not really a backup set of parents, but I think sometimes gym coaches function like those aunts and uncles teenagers retreat to when they are separating psychologically from parents but still realize unconsciously that they need trusted adults in their lives.

Hey Coach P, does your gym have a strategy for keeping boys in during puberty? What I have seen by us and heard about in other places is that the hardest time for boys is when they are waiting for puberty and going through it -- they want to be able to learn new skills, but their bodies don't yet have the strength to do them, and as their bodies are changing, skills they previously mastered become hard again. `They're also much more subject to injuries of all sorts. We recently lost two who were really frustrated about their lack of progression and their feeling that they just would not be competitive at their in-age levels. If they'd been able to stick it out through one more tough comp year, I'm betting both would have been solid L10s in 2018-19. I know puberty is tough for girls too, as it wreaked havoc on my DD's bars, but the particular association with needing gym skills involving testosterone-fueled strength right around that time seems to be a particular issue for boys.

No sorry , boys are pretty relaxed.

 

[John]

The gym is DD's normal. She knows what to expect and the routine helps level out a bad day. Keep it coming coach. Coach, do you offer coaching clinics to help other coaches?

 

[amiandjim]

Keeping them interested.


Gymnastics is already hard enough right? All we can do is try to eliminate the things that may drive them away and guide them through the tough times.

A few things

Hitting puberty

Ugh.... The girl who hits puberty and wants to quit to hang at the mall. Seriously sometimes these kids just turn into different people and reject everything. Often these kids get too cool for school and think they are smarter than everyone else. It’s like that sweet little girl disappeared and got really smart but not… It’s pretty common for kids to get stagnant or even get worse at gymnastics during this time.. This is hard and this is where…. Drum roll….. YOU as a parent get to step in and help! YAY! Unfortunately you are probably just a perplexed as we are at that time. J I always do my best to explain to the kid and parent that these feelings and emotions are not real and they will subside but it may take a few months (yea, more like 6-8 on average). So often they just up and quit, but sometimes with the parents help they are kept in. Meaning the parents refuse them an exit until several months have passed, this actually works but is a slipper slope. So we do what we can and cross our fingers. Sorry no magic potion here. This is when the fun stuff and a strong team bond are very helpful.

I will say that I can think of a few kids who recently went all the way through this and 1 just got committed to a full ride athletic scholarship. The other made it though to the other side and is kicking herself for basically getting nothing done for a year. I just told her 3 hours ago, that we can’t make up for last year or be angry about it, moving on!


Smothering parents

So of course you guessed it, Keeping the parents out of the coaching aspect of the sport is a big one. Why? Because they could suck the fun out of it by “trying to help”. I know, I know! I keep going back to this… I really do like my parents!
But guys, eventually they hit puberty and want to be left alone. Again we are eliminating anything that sucks the fun out of gym. Sorry that could be you.


Boring coaches / workouts

This is pretty simple, there needs to be a couple of coaches that the kids at least enjoy being around. After all we are spending years together hours at a time.

When they are young they will take a lot, but when they get older they do need a little humanity and fun. So I encourage the coaches to play games, team the kids up, keep it interesting, be animated, get loud but be strict at the same time.
We also shake things up by having a couple of water balloon battles in the back parking lot, (last time we went through 1400 water balloons). The kids remember that stuff. We also have a spirit week, that has a different theme each day. Crazy hair, costume contest, ninja warrior day, treasure hunt day and then the water balloon finally. Today in fact it was over 100 in the gym, which is not common, so…. We took 21 upper level kids to smoothie king to cool off. Obviously we can’t do that often, nor do I want them drinking smoothies, but every once in a while you have to throw them a bone.

We also give away stuff on occasion, like key chains or stickers. We recently bought 100 emoji key chains for like $30 bucks and wow…. They will do anything to win one of those.


Problems beyond the gym (divorce, school etc..)

This is a biggie and I have absolutely lost kids to parents splitting etc… Just let your coaches know that something is up so we can do our best to give the kid an oasis from the home problems.

I always tell the kids school is not important and gym is the only thing in life. Of course I am joking when I tell them this, and they no longer laugh at it because my jokes are old. But I do realize that the kids do miss school for gym to travel, so missing gym for a school function is just life. I encourage the kids to go to the homecoming game and one or two other football games a year. This is important as it gives them a sense of unity to the school, which is important for college in my opinion. So well worth it and again… throwing them a bone.


BOYS

Simple really we don’t let them date, talk or even look at boys. Yea right! Good luck with that!



Anyways, I am sure I missed a bunch but you get the gist.

Next topic is injury and rehab.

Great post! I just want say that if I were to ever consider moving my daughter across the country for gymnastics (which I would not do), I think we would be coming to your gym!

 

[sce]

Keeping them interested.


Gymnastics is already hard enough right? All we can do is try to eliminate the things that may drive them away and guide them through the tough times.

A few things

Anyways, I am sure I missed a bunch but you get the gist.

Next topic is injury and rehab.

Let's be clear though. It is not a bad thing that they lose interest and move on. It is just a thing that happens. Gymnastics is a big commitment and what kids love changes over time. Now, it is sad when the gym is part of the cause of them losing interest. But many kids leave the sport even when the gym environment is positive and encouraging.

My son is super committed to gymnastics. He's made some big sacrifices to stay in the sport and reach for his goals. It is not all fun, it is in fact often quite hard. I hope in the long run he sees his commitment and hard work pay of.

My daughter loved gymnastics and competing, but she also loves performing in theater and dance. As well, she grew a lot over a couple years (back to the puberty thing). She knew she could not keep trying to do all 3 activities and as she got taller gym just got harder, so she made a choice. Her coaches were sad but also understood and are supportive. She found a tumbling class at a dance studio, so she can can keep up tumbling while doing the other things she loves too.

I am proud of both my kids for knowing what they want and making decisions to go after those things. I am also proud of them for not committing to something when they can't follow through.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Let's be clear though. It is not a bad thing that they lose interest and move on. It is just a thing that happens. Gymnastics is a big commitment and what kids love changes over time.

I agree. Taking things as far as you can. Realizing there are other things you want to try or do or don’t want to miss out on is not a bad thing

And it’s nice that Coachp gets that they can go to a dance or a game and not “ruin” their gymnastics. For sure more kids would stay longer if more gyms were OK with this. Very grateful our gym gets there are other things. If we had stayed in our old gym my kid likely wouldn’t of made it past L3 instead of L7 and counting.......

 

[profmom]

Our oldest gymnasts have a schedule that wraps up Friday practice by 7 PM so they can go to football games, and they are always late start Saturday so they can sleep in. With two now in high school, I really, really appreciate this.

 

[my4buffaloes]

Our oldest gymnasts have a schedule that wraps up Friday practice by 7 PM so they can go to football games, and they are always late start Saturday so they can sleep in. With two now in high school, I really, really appreciate this.

We have our youngest gymnasts practice on Friday nights. Though the 8 am Saturday practice is hard for the girls sometimes I think they appreciate having Friday night off.