Parents What to do coach wants child at gym at 2 and school doesn't end till 2:37

[angel20310]

My child switched gyms this year to a elite gym. She is currently a level 8. The coach wants her there at 2 but school doesn't end till 2:37. I have to drive 45 minutes to the gymnastics school. I asked the principal for permission for to leave an hour early and to rearrange the class she would be missing and have her take that class instead of gym but the school won't budge I even said about her leaving 15 mins early and he is like no but I do know by law she won't be count absent because she was there a full day already. I just don't know what to do the coach says to keep pushing the school to do it because she has other girls who do it at other public schools. I keep telling my daughter to do cyber school but she wants to to go to school too. I don't know what to do. Any advise would help or if anyone was in the same situation and what did u do? Thanks

 

[bogwoppit]

I would tell the coach it cannot be done. At the end of the day you are the paying client.

 

[kayjaybe]

Agree with bog.

Did you know the gym schedule before switching gyms? That is something that should probably have been considered before the switch. I know that hindsight is 20/20 unfortunately.

How old is she? Personally, I put my kid's education above her gymnastics. If something could be worked out like moving classes around and skipping phys ed, I would definitely do that. But if they won't accommodate that, I wouldn't be pulling her from class on a regular basis.

 

[raenndrops]

Every school is different. At our local school, if a child is even one minute late, they are tardy. Three tardies equals one absence... so, if a child is one minute late once a week for the entire school year (missing a total of 36 minutes), that child would be charged with 12 full absences! It is the same at the end of the day... and being 30 minutes late or leaving 30 minutes early counts as missing half a day.

 

[Becauseisaid]

I would tell the coach it cannot be done. At the end of the day you are the paying client.

Ditto. Education lasts for the rest of your child's life. Gymnastics won't. A good coach will agree with that.

 

[profmom]

Agreed. If the coach insists, s/he is being unreasonable. DD is at a gym with a decent number of 8s, 9s, and 10s, and earlier this summer, we all got an email asking who could be at the gym at 3 PM to start workout. Girls who can't make it that early will not be assigned to those workout groups but will get the same number of hours as their peers, just with a later start and finish.

I know there's a big range of opinions about homeschooling, but I think it's a step that should only be taken after a lot of careful consideration and research, and probably shouldn't be done solely for the sake of a child's sport unless we are talking about a very motivated child who's competing Hopes or the like. And even then, the consideration and research is necessary! Seriously compromising education for sport is almost always a mistake.

 

[angel20310]

I agree education is first but I think the school could be willing to meet halfway as my daughter said leaving 15 mins early is not hurting her as all they do the last 16 is homework and getting ready to leave. We just got a new principal so I think that's part of the issue.

 

[angel20310]

Every school is different. At our local school, if a child is even one minute late, they are tardy. Three tardies equals one absence... so, if a child is one minute late once a week for the entire school year (missing a total of 36 minutes), that child would be charged with 12 full absences! It is the same at the end of the day... and being 30 minutes late or leaving 30 minutes early counts as missing half a day.

Our school it's considered a whole day by 2:00

 

[l.c.o]

Well, over two years ago we switched DD's gym largely because we'd been having to pull her from school early. Two practices started at 4pm, and DD didn't dismiss until 3:50. We'd been compromising and having her leave early one day per week. We made it through 3rd grade like that. Then we switched gyms.

A year or so later, that new gym had DD's group (all the way through higher levels) start even earlier, at 3:30pm. Technically, there was an option to start at 4:30, but DD missed a LOT of bars that way. And in order to start at 4:30, she'd had to add a day, Friday, at a time that still made her have to leave early or be late, and it had different, lower-level coaches. After like 4-6 weeks or so of trying the 4:30 schedule, DD was such a wreck that we moved her to 3:30 and pulled her from school 30 min early.

That lasted another 6 weeks or so, and DD was again a wreck due to other issues (mostly academics) and SHE insisted on switching gyms. Her gym now starts later, and she now has time to come home, do homework, and eat dinner before practice. It's been priceless.

I'm not necessarily advocating switching gyms, that has its own set of issues, but rather saying you need to do what is healthiest for your child.

 

[2G1B]

I don't understand why any coach would have a practice, during the school year, start at 2:00 unless it is for a group of kids who are home schooled. Leaving 15 minutes early isn't really going to help since that is still 15 minutes after practice started and you still have the 45 minute drive. I would tell the coach that it just isn't going to happen.

 

[angel20310]

Agreed. If the coach insists, s/he is being unreasonable. DD is at a gym with a decent number of 8s, 9s, and 10s, and earlier this summer, we all got an email asking who could be at the gym at 3 PM to start workout. Girls who can't make it that early will not be assigned to those workout groups but will get the same number of hours as their peers, just with a later start and finish.

I know there's a big range of opinions about homeschooling, but I think it's a step that should only be taken after a lot of careful consideration and research, and probably shouldn't be done solely for the sake of a child's sport unless we are talking about a very motivated child who's competing Hopes or the like. And even then, the consideration and research is necessary! Seriously compromising education for sport is almost always a mistake.

I know a lot of children sport and non sport who do cyber school and love it but I just worry about the social aspect

 

[profmom]

We've had these discussions before, and I think part of the problem for administrators is that if Cheng leaves 15 minutes early for club gymnastics, then Luis has to be allowed to leave 15 minutes early for peewee football, and Jane has to be allowed 20 minutes to make it to cello. Then a few bad parents/apples can spoil the barrel if Esmeralda's parents get enraged when she gets in trouble for failing to write down and complete her homework on the days she left early to go to lacrosse. Once you've established a policy of letting kids leave early, too, it also makes it very difficult to set up the day differently in the future if the parents all expect that their children will be allowed to leave early.

 

[angel20310]

I don't understand why any coach would have a practice, during the school year, start at 2:00 unless it is for a group of kids who are home schooled. Leaving 15 minutes early isn't really going to help since that is still 15 minutes after practice started and you still have the 45 minute drive. I would tell the coach that it just isn't going to happen.

The 15 minutes is more so I can beat the traffic at that time

 

[Flyaway]

You say you don't know what to do, but by your responses here it kinda seems like you've already decided. If you're comfortable with the decision to pull her out early, and you know you're not going to be violating school policy, then do it. I personally wouldn't, but it's not me having to make the decision.

I would listen to your dd though and not push her to homeschool until she's ready. It may make more sense to you, but forcing her to give up something before she's ready in order to do more gymnastics could start her down the road of resentment. Proceed with caution.

 

[MILgymFAM]

I would be cautious. Just because you understand district policy about pulling her early, in terms of absences, doesn't mean there won't be repercussions. Your DD may miss things in that time and the teacher and school will probably not be in any mood to be accommodating after you decided to go against them and pull her all the time. There are always unintended consequences. Is this a new practice time? My DDs gym accommodates all the girls who can't get there for the earlier starting practices. It sounds like the gym could try a little harder also.

 

[gymyogimom]

This is a hard spot - I know here the schools added minutes to comply with state law AND then also started school LATER so elementary isn't getting out until 4:10 pm! Many places are having to bump back training times to accommodate the public school students. Since school starts later it is less of an issue to have kids training until 9 pm.

We've already determined if need be we'll homeschool (I'm not a fan of the curriculum that there is now anyway) and we homeschooled briefly before while transitioning anyway.

At the high school level at least is there an option at your area to do half online? I know that even at middle school kids can take gym elective requirement with competitive after school activities... and then do a foreign language online/etc. It is sad that the school isn't being at least flexible about the 15 minutes when the kids are just preparing to leave and the teachers are trying to keep them quiet!

 

[munchkin3]

Take her out as early as possible and talk to the teacher about it.......work out the assignments directly with the teacher.
Also, have both the teacher, and the principal WATCH what it is your DD is doing in gymnastics.....(video)
I have found that the vast majority of teachers and schools have no idea what we mean when we say gymnastics. They think rolling around, and jumping....after all, they see our kids as babies.

When my Son was in first grade, the teacher though i was crazy even bringing up 'competitive' gymnastics....(no help that year)
by 3rd grade, he was famous at school.....they would wish him luck at morning announcements before big competitions and everything....
by middle school, the teachers demanded he NEVER quit.....

its all how you present it.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Education first.

 

[sce]

I know a lot of children sport and non sport who do cyber school and love it but I just worry about the social aspect

There are lots of ways to ensure the social interaction still happens. It's a plus an minus anyways. Not all social interaction at school is positive or beneficial. But I think you need to figure out what is best for you child both academically and in gymnastics.

 

[thefellowsmom]

I agree with talking directly to her teacher once you know who that is. We are dealing with this for the first time this year as well. DD is also level 8. I happen to know who her teach will be so I contacted her directly and she has agreed to work with us and the principle to make it all work. We contemplated virtual school as well but dd also isn't ready. She was willing to do it if not doing it meant she would be in the lower group at the gym, but she is very happy that she gets to finish out with her classmates before moving onto middle school. She has been asking a bunch of questions about middle school lately and I think she is thinking a lot about what the next few years will look like for her both at school and gym.

This is a tricky thing and I am sorry that the school isn't being more cooperative. It may be time to discuss all the possibilities and benefits and consequences of all sides of the situation and see what you daughter thinks and then start making decisions from there. I have to admit I would be tempted just to walk in and sign her out every day and just work directly with her teacher for assignments.

Good luck in your decision!