Parents What to do when the hours are too much?

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suebee

Proud Parent
This is more of a general question.

I think dd is stressed from the number of hours in the gym. Her hours increased significantly this summer and everything was fine when there was no school. The hours are the same during the school year, but now that school has started, I think it might be too much for her. She seems to do fine at school and at gym, and she loves gym, but she melts down frequently at home for no reason, and she's usually fairly good natured.

Weekdays are all a rush all the time for her - rush to school, rush to gym, rush home from gym. Honestly, it stresses me out sometimes.

They are easing into homework and it has been relatively minimal so far, so I am wondering whether things get a lot worse when the homework increases, although my ds never seemed to spend much time on homework when he was her age, but I'm not sure if it will be the same for her. Our plan was for her to do homework in the car, but honestly, she eats in the car too - a snack on the way to gym and dinner on the way home. She can't even relax in the car.

Is the only solution to cut back gym hours? Or do the kids sometimes adjust to the go-go-go-rush-rush-rush of it all?
 
Well, I'd like to say it gets easier but I won't lie to you! Demands are going to continue to increase with school and demands will also increase in the gym world. Depending on your dd's level and age, and school system, she might be able to get a study hall or early dismissal, maybe eventually.

Most kids adjust, eventually. It's a lot about learning to manage time.

I know a lot of girls ask for homework assignments early, and work on them over the weekend. Maybe that's an option.

Sometimes my dd gets up early and studies in the car on the way to school. Just a thought.

It's tough, but the life skills your dd is learning are priceless!

Best of luck!
 
I totally agree with ascarter1, it's totally a time management thing...my girls were always proactive about getting assignments ahead of time and they got ahead by doing homework (a lot of it) on weekends. We had a long commute so there was time for them to eat their dinner and do homework, so they did that as well.

Not knowing how old your daughter is or what grade she's in or her level/# of hours she's going makes it a little tougher to predict how it may go....if she's having meltdowns at say 9 hours a week and level 3 and 1st grade, then you're probably in for a tough ride but if say she's say 7th grade and up to 24 hours a week, she's probably old enough to start to figure out the whole budgeting of her time....I do think the beginning of the school year can tend to freak some kids out initially about "can I do it" but once they start to have some success managing school and gym, it all becomes routine.

And I wouldn't use cutting her hours at the gym as a solution right off the bat because in some gyms, that's a deal breaker for remaining on the team...if it still stays an issue, you could try to do an Xcel program that is generally less stringent on required hours than the JO programs..
 
I am struggling with this because I don't think, at this point, it is a time management issue. It's more of a there aren't enough hours in the day. I prioritize sleep for her, and I don't want her to cut back on sleep, because I know this will only lead to more meltdowns. She's 8 and practices 18 hours/week.

It is possible to get everything done that she needs to get done, I think, but it means that there is not one moment of downtime or relaxation for dd during the week, not even in the car, to get it all done. Not only is there no downtime or relaxing, but everything is a constant rush - rush to not be late for school, rush to not be late for gym, rush out the door after gym to not be late to come home and get ready for bed. And I think that's what the meltdowns are about. My other child (non-gymmie) needs a lot of downtime. I don't think she needs much downtime, but I do think she needs some, and this schedule gives her none during the week.
 
I loathe the first 6 weeks of school. Every. single. year. I hate the rush, the no down time, all of it...and then sometime around the end of September and into October it just becomes routine and it is manageable again.... But every year in September I question if it is all worth it...
 
I am struggling with this because I don't think, at this point, it is a time management issue. It's more of a there aren't enough hours in the day. I prioritize sleep for her, and I don't want her to cut back on sleep, because I know this will only lead to more meltdowns. She's 8 and practices 18 hours/week.

It is possible to get everything done that she needs to get done, I think, but it means that there is not one moment of downtime or relaxation for dd during the week, not even in the car, to get it all done. Not only is there no downtime or relaxing, but everything is a constant rush - rush to not be late for school, rush to not be late for gym, rush out the door after gym to not be late to come home and get ready for bed. And I think that's what the meltdowns are about. My other child (non-gymmie) needs a lot of downtime. I don't think she needs much downtime, but I do think she needs some, and this schedule gives her none during the week.

It's tough. My dd has zero down time during the week, as do most higher level optionals. So we get what you are saying. We've been there and done that, and are still doing it. It's SO tough, and there aren't any easy solutions. And because most of us probably have more than 1 child, that means the siblings are also rushed around too! My youngest is 5 and she has an incredibly difficult and unfair schedule because of her sisters crazy school and gym schedule. It's going to have to be a decision you and your dd come up with together. Maybe she will learn to adjust, maybe dropping back a level and lowering hours is what she needs. It's hard for us to tell you bc you know your kid. Just know, that everyday, the majority of the people on the forum are experiencing the same thing. Know that you aren't alone! She's not alone! This life we lead is certainly not for the faint of heart! 20 more school days until we are on Fall break...my family is constantly counting till the next holiday! That means day practice or no practice! Those are the only night we eat together! #thestruggleisreal

Best wishes!!
 
I am struggling with this because I don't think, at this point, it is a time management issue. It's more of a there aren't enough hours in the day. I prioritize sleep for her, and I don't want her to cut back on sleep, because I know this will only lead to more meltdowns. She's 8 and practices 18 hours/week.

It is possible to get everything done that she needs to get done, I think, but it means that there is not one moment of downtime or relaxation for dd during the week, not even in the car, to get it all done. Not only is there no downtime or relaxing, but everything is a constant rush - rush to not be late for school, rush to not be late for gym, rush out the door after gym to not be late to come home and get ready for bed. And I think that's what the meltdowns are about. My other child (non-gymmie) needs a lot of downtime. I don't think she needs much downtime, but I do think she needs some, and this schedule gives her none during the week.
I think for some kids, that's just a lot of hours at that age. When my dd was 8, she did 15 hrs/wk in the summer (she was training for old L4)...and when school started, it was absolutely just too much for her... she lasted two weeks and I knew there was just not way she would make it through the season.
So...she switched to a gym that allowed her to train 9 - 12 hrs/week, because it was either that or she would have likely quit the sport (she loved it, but was becoming miserable...she needed playtime with her friends outside the gym, she liked to play other sports too...and just sleep being able to do school work without being so rushed.).
She's 13 now and training L9, about 22 hrs/week. She handles managing everything pretty well though she's not yet in high school, so it will get harder. I am completely aware she did not progress as quickly as she could have because of the decisions we made to keep hours as low as possible at that age (and she had already delayed team one year when she switched gyms, having been invited to train for L4 after 1st grade, but she delayed doing so until after 2nd grade, because practice was too many hours). On the other hand, my DD is still in the sport. Hang in there, it can get better. Not sure what level your DD is training, but reducing hours now at age 8 does not mean she can't continue gymnastics, if you're ok with her not progressing on the fastest track...some 8 year olds understandably need down time. Good luck!
 
DS (10) hours went from 4 times a week - 9 hours to 5 times a week 14,5 hours after summer. Also with a rush schedule from school to training which we barely make on a good traffic day, He is adjusting quite well but in our case it is not as bad as you describe since he still has one afternoon a week downtime. We did make an adjustment with his school though since he had physical education at the end of the day just before his training and we and his trainer noticed that was just too much. So now he is excused from physical education and allowed to do his homework in this time. Maybe you can have a talk at her school, explain your concerns and discuss if there are any possible adjustments that would take the edges of a bit.
 
Honestly I am one who usually feels like long hours are not too much of an issue for kids, but 18 hours is too much for an 8 year old. It is not a healthy amount of hours at that age. If she is not yet in level 7, then it's also a concern about the quality of the gym, they simply shouldn't need that number before optionals.
 
I am suffering. My kids all got sick already from the general stress of starting school and sports and work etc......I have to get up at 5:30 now!ugh ugh!!!!
My gymmie is training 24 hrs.....just started middle school. She is 11 and is very good at managing her time. She usually gets her homework done if there is some downtime at the end of class, or at lunch. She also has 2 hours before practice to finish up and relax.
The one thing I constantly monitor is when she needs a day off. My child NEEDS downtime......If she does, we simply miss practice. Is this an option for you? Can she miss a day, or even go late/leave early? You would be amazed such a minor thing can really can help. Sometimes just leaving early and going out for a family dinner puts some normalcy back into things.......
I don't think there is a single kid at our gym that can make the full 6 days of practice........the coaches all understand.
 
Another thing, I have crafted my gymmies day to where she does not get MY stress of running around. I try my best to remain ultra clam and zen while quietly rushing around.....this has made a big difference for her. I let her tell me if she is too tired, or has too much homework........
Sometimes we are late to practice because of homework.....this is hard for her since she likes being on time.....she would stress looking at the clock while doing homework.....I finally helped her relax and 'be late' occasionally.....it's not the end of the world.
as parents we have to try and manage the stress so they don't get OUR stress......
 
I agree, 18 hours is way too much! In here 1st and 2nd graders have 19 hours of school a week. How many hours she has? School plus 18 hours of gym is much for an 8 year old. 8 year olds should be KIDS in the first place, PLAYING is their job. If she doesn't have time for unorganized play then the schedule is too intense.
 
I would suggest speaking to the coach. Perhaps she could drop a day of practice for now. Then, later in the year if things start to fall in place and be manageable, she can add back that day--or not. 18 hrs is a lot at 8yo.
 
I think for some kids, that's just a lot of hours at that age. When my dd was 8, she did 15 hrs/wk in the summer (she was training for old L4)...and when school started, it was absolutely just too much for her... she lasted two weeks and I knew there was just not way she would make it through the season.
So...she switched to a gym that allowed her to train 9 - 12 hrs/week, because it was either that or she would have likely quit the sport (she loved it, but was becoming miserable...she needed playtime with her friends outside the gym, she liked to play other sports too...and just sleep being able to do school work without being so rushed.).
She's 13 now and training L9, about 22 hrs/week. She handles managing everything pretty well though she's not yet in high school, so it will get harder. I am completely aware she did not progress as quickly as she could have because of the decisions we made to keep hours as low as possible at that age (and she had already delayed team one year when she switched gyms, having been invited to train for L4 after 1st grade, but she delayed doing so until after 2nd grade, because practice was too many hours). On the other hand, my DD is still in the sport. Hang in there, it can get better. Not sure what level your DD is training, but reducing hours now at age 8 does not mean she can't continue gymnastics, if you're ok with her not progressing on the fastest track...some 8 year olds understandably need down time. Good luck!
This is my daughter as well she trains 9-12 hours during the school year. She would of quit with more.

Her learning curve is not as steep as others but she is doing just fine.
 
Depending on the level (i.e. upper level optionals) , 18 hours isn't a lot but if you are talking compulsories , then probably yes.

And I guess I ( and maybe that's just me) would still define this as a time management issue because , by your own admission, you or she are in a "rush" to get to/from everything, complete everything etc and there seems to be no transition that isn't perceived by you all as "rushed"...so something has to change...either in the management of items in a day so that you are not rushed, or dropping something so you are not rushed...being "rushed" or even feeling like you are is exhausting.

Have you thought of doing an early dismissal so that she isn't all rushed at the end of the day? My girls' elementary (K-8) school dismissed at 3:15 every day but I had them on an alternate schedule where they were dismissed every day at 1 pm so that really helped but their school was totally on board as well.
 
18 hours might not be a lot for upper level optionals, but it is a lot for an 8 year old. That is 2nd grade around here. Plus if it is every school day, that is very hard. My girls have always had school days (1-3 of them) off each week so that they aren't going every single day. It is not until level 9 that they go Mon through Thursday. I would look into dropping a day or reducing hours at least one day a week.

That being said, it will take a few weeks to adjust to anything new, regardless of what it is. So you may want to give it time before saying it isn't working.
 
I'm sorry 18 hours at 8 & school is too much. JMO

What level?

Wow, I agree. My DS is 8 and does 10 hours/week (more in summer) but that is max for him. He had the same schedule last year and was giving me a hard time about going right there after school. I spoke to his coach, because I was done dragging him to gym. If he doesn't want to be there, I don't want to pay for it. He really did want to be there, just needed some breathing room after school. His coach immediately said "bring him in late then," didn't even give it a 2nd thought. So we did that for a few weeks, then he was fine, wanted to be there when everyone else was. But i'm pretty sure he'd quit if it were any more hours...
 
I have an 8 year old (level 4) and I agree that 18 hours would probably be too much for her right now. She goes 13 hours right now and it's been completely fine. I know the general feeling around here is that longer practices aren't as good, but I do like that my dd only goes 3 days a week (4, 4 and 5 hours) rather than 4 days a week. And only 2 of them are weekdays with the 5 hour practice on Saturday. Even the optionals, all the way to level 10, only go 4 days a week, with a weekday off.

Anyway, I do agree with the others that it'll probably get better in a couple of weeks. I'd give her some time to adjust and see how things are going in a couple of weeks. But if she is still struggling then, I would think about cutting back the hours if possible.
 
My daughter is 7 and trains 22 1/2 hours a week (2nd grade) level 6 and tops. She does leave school early tues and thurs at 12:30 to go to the gym. At 2nd grade homework is not much of an every night occurance. We do have a good relationship with her teacher and have decided on this schedule so she is very flexible with our daughter and her academics. I would talk to her teacher and see what options there are for her and homework:projects:time spent at school to make the most of her "off" time. Communication is the key!
 

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