Parents What would you say to younger gym parent self? What do you wish someone had told you?

[sandy]

Sometimes we hear well meaning parents talking or posting about their little gymmies, and those of us who've been around the block cringe. You live and learn. So what do you wish you'd learned earlier on in your gymmies journey? What advice do you wish you'd been given that would have made a difference? I wish someone had said: relax. Just enjoy.

 

[Tigtimes]

Run..........

 

[duyetanh]

Run..........

Omg, this! There are many days I wish I could. This sport is just crazy at times...

 

[dancingimmie]

Run..........

That's so funny and literally exactly what an upper level optional's mom said to me on my DD's first day of "preteam, level 3". It's only been a year and now they practice together. She said "run before chalk runs through her veins" it was already to late.

 

[3rd_time_around]

Enjoy the journey. And it's OK to miss practice now and then. Go on vacation. If she's injured, go to the best doctor and give her time to heal. Even missing 6 months to recover is ok, she'll be able to come back. Don't miss out on the rest of life. And especially: don't neglect the rest of the family for gymnastics.

 

[sandy]

Run..........

Hahaha by the time you realize ....

 

[tarheel618]

Run..........

You stole my thought. I would have stayed with Rec classes.

 

[momto2js]

Take cash, lots of cash, to the meet you paid at least $100 to enter your kid.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Enjoy the journey. And it's OK to miss practice now and then. Go on vacation. If she's injured, go to the best doctor and give her time to heal. Even missing 6 months to recover is ok, she'll be able to come back. Don't miss out on the rest of life. And especially: don't neglect the rest of the family for gymnastics.

I have to repeatedly sing this song to myself.

Also.

Don't watch practice regularly.

Don't compare her to anyone but her. She doesn't have to be the first to get whatever and it's even OK if she is the last. It's her journey, she will get to where she is supposed to be. It's Ok to do it how it works for your family. Millions of hours are not the only way.

On a personal and very specific thing. I wish I had started having her doing wrist conditioning first thing.

 

[rjb123]

Take the vacations. Enjoy the time with your child while you can- the hours get horrific VERY quickly. Be the positive encourager- she needs one and that is your job. Remind her daily that every journey in this sport is different, and unique and that her friend/ team mate's success doesn't mean her failure. Take lots and lots of pictures and video- especially that first year of competing (I didn't take much and I sorely regret it). ENJOY those compulsory meets- they are not doing anything too scary and dangerous- so just enjoy watching her! (Now I feel like I need a case of wine and an anti anxiety prescription to watch her do this stuff!) Find joy in watching your child in their journey- even the rough things- last place, injuries, rough days- these are the things that will help to define her character and help her be not just physically but also mentally strong. Always give your child a soft place to land outside of the sport. Make sure that they have "outside" friends, activities and a solid identity - gym is something they DO, it is not all that they ARE. Make sure they know that their WORTH is NOT defined by this sport. Keep it real. Unless it IS the olympics, (which lets be honest, it probably is not!) it ISN'T the olympics!

 

[Jenny]

Fantastic advice /\. I wish I had done more of some of those. I will always be forever grateful I did good physio care and plenty of recovery time and that my dd had great coaches that understood that and understood her.

 

[sandy]

Such wonderful advice. All of which we would have known , had we found ChalkBucket sooner?!

 

[GymDad9.9]

I'm still a younger gym parent relatively speaking but the learning curve has been fairly steep in the two years we've been in it. Chalkbucket has really helped in understanding the sport, the issues, and keeping an even keel about things. Great people providing a great resource and perspective.

 

[skschlag]

When parents of older gymnasts or gymnasts of higher levels give you advice, write it down and keep it. One day you will need it.

 

[KipNurse]

Enjoy the journey. And it's OK to miss practice now and then. Go on vacation. If she's injured, go to the best doctor and give her time to heal. Even missing 6 months to recover is ok, she'll be able to come back. Don't miss out on the rest of life. And especially: don't neglect the rest of the family for gymnastics.

I have to repeatedly sing this song to myself.

Also.

Don't watch practice regularly.

Don't compare her to anyone but her. She doesn't have to be the first to get whatever and it's even OK if she is the last. It's her journey, she will get to where she is supposed to be. It's Ok to do it how it works for your family. Millions of hours are not the only way.

On a personal and very specific thing. I wish I had started having her doing wrist conditioning first thing.

Both of these are PERFECT! The don't miss out on life and don't watch practice are two biggies. The comparing advice as well. How does the quote go? Comparison is the thief of joy?
great posts everyone!

 

[KipNurse]

Take the vacations. Enjoy the time with your child while you can- the hours get horrific VERY quickly. Be the positive encourager- she needs one and that is your job. Remind her daily that every journey in this sport is different, and unique and that her friend/ team mate's success doesn't mean her failure. Take lots and lots of pictures and video- especially that first year of competing (I didn't take much and I sorely regret it). ENJOY those compulsory meets- they are not doing anything too scary and dangerous- so just enjoy watching her! (Now I feel like I need a case of wine and an anti anxiety prescription to watch her do this stuff!) Find joy in watching your child in their journey- even the rough things- last place, injuries, rough days- these are the things that will help to define her character and help her be not just physically but also mentally strong. Always give your child a soft place to land outside of the sport. Make sure that they have "outside" friends, activities and a solid identity - gym is something they DO, it is not all that they ARE. Make sure they know that their WORTH is NOT defined by this sport. Keep it real. Unless it IS the olympics, (which lets be honest, it probably is not!) it ISN'T the olympics!

This made me cry a little. I say all the time how much I want to make sure my kiddo knows that her "worth is not defined by this sport". So true. The sport is SO all-consuming and you almost have to make a point to separate from it. And finding the joy in the journey...see? I'm crying again. Thank you!

 

[LindyHopper]

I'm still a younger gym parent relatively speaking but the learning curve has been fairly steep in the two years we've been in it. Chalkbucket has really helped in understanding the sport, the issues, and keeping an even keel about things. Great people providing a great resource and perspective.

Agreed!

 

[gracyomalley]

All the above is great - I'd add that someday they'll be done - or think they might be done...and that it won't be an easy transition - for most kids there's no "graduation from gymnastics now on to life" ceremony - but rather a slow dawning realization, or heart wrenching injury, or fear, or deep seated desire to move on but equally deep seated wish to hold on...and its almost impossible to think of that when they are 6 year olds with stars in their eyes and their first kip, but keep in mind that for 99.9% of the kids its just a kids sport, even the ones who make L8-10....and LIVE at the gym, and give up other things for gym, etc...like everything we do as parents - we are just helping them do it so they can learn and grow from it - then grow out of it! (says the mom with a L8 who quit a year ago, a L10 boy who's trying to decide, and a L7 boy who still loves it...)...enjoy each meet, each time they smile with a new skill, each silly time you do "meet hair" or help them find their ring grips...this too, shall pass...

 

[flippingtogether]

Take the vacations. Enjoy the time with your child while you can- the hours get horrific VERY quickly. Be the positive encourager- she needs one and that is your job. Remind her daily that every journey in this sport is different, and unique and that her friend/ team mate's success doesn't mean her failure. Take lots and lots of pictures and video- especially that first year of competing (I didn't take much and I sorely regret it). ENJOY those compulsory meets- they are not doing anything too scary and dangerous- so just enjoy watching her! (Now I feel like I need a case of wine and an anti anxiety prescription to watch her do this stuff!) Find joy in watching your child in their journey- even the rough things- last place, injuries, rough days- these are the things that will help to define her character and help her be not just physically but also mentally strong. Always give your child a soft place to land outside of the sport. Make sure that they have "outside" friends, activities and a solid identity - gym is something they DO, it is not all that they ARE. Make sure they know that their WORTH is NOT defined by this sport. Keep it real. Unless it IS the olympics, (which lets be honest, it probably is not!) it ISN'T the olympics!

This is so so true and so perfect.
Gymnastics isn't a linear sport - it bounces all around and progress goes backwards and forward and it is all COMPLETELY NORMAL.

Comparisons are one of the most dangerous things and they really are huge emotion suck. The gymnast and her parents must learn to not compare DD to anyone - it is a no-win situation if you do.

And I will say a bit about not watching practice - the best thing I ever did was stop watching. I watched about 50% of practices through new level 4 - then went cold turkey and stopped. It was enlightening. My kid was fine. I was happier as I wasn't caught up in the drama of parent chatter and I wasn't playing the comparison game.

When competition season now starts, it is amazing to see the routines unveiled. I remember some time back a non-practice watching mom here on CB compared the first meet of the season to the delight of opening a Christmas present - and that is absolutely true.
What an amazing gift.

 

[Jenny]

I have never heard that before. "Comparison is the thief of Joy" Definitely true when applied to your children in any way shape or form.