B
Billy
Do you watch the classes at school? School is more important anyway right?
When my DD is at the gym for 7 hours a day, five days a week, mostly sitting at a desk, I will definitely have to re-think watching all her practices.
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Do you watch the classes at school? School is more important anyway right?
During the season she won just about everything. Her first event at states was vault and she did beautifully - but then came out to the waiting area to tell her mother she felt really sick and dizzy and didn't think she could finish the meet. The mother went ballistic on her. In front of everyone she started screaming at her that she was going to finish the meet. The girl was hysterical crying saying she was afraid to get hurt because she was so dizzy. The mother kept saying - you will finish this meet and qualify for regionals - this is what we have been working so hard for.
This is the type of response I expect to get if/when I try to discuss my situtation with the club owner. So far he has let this woman do what ever she wants...she has the run of the place. My dd has been at this gym for 6 yrs, has been a state champ twice, has always been happy & has many friends on all levels. This is the 1st time my dd has told me another parent has made her feel "uncomfortable". My dd has even considered leaving the gym b/c of this woman(not necessarily her dd). It would be all well & good if she stayed to watch her dd....but she watches my dd too....intensly...bordering on scary. And I don't think the owner is going to do anything about it...even if I discuss it with him. B/c our dds are the same age & level & she seems the have the owner's "ear" ...I'm afraid anything I say will be seen as "sour grapes". Thanks Shawn for this thread & thanks to the CB for this forum. So far the only person I've been able to discuss my situation with, is another mother who moved her child as soon as she heard this woman was coming to our gym...she had already left on gym b/c of her & knew what she was like. I was really good friends with that mom, but even I thought she was over reacting..."this woman can't be that bad"....I thought!!! But now I find she will stop at nothing in order for her dd to win...right now my dd is in her way. This is not the team we once had Since my dd is the one she sees as her dd's main competition...my dd & I are the only ones who are really affected by her behavior. Can't decide if it's even worth "discussing" it with the owner. We may just leave...but hate to think we let this woman drive us away from a place my dd WAS happy & thriving. She really doesn't want to leave her friends & coaches....just this woman!!!!Like I said earlier, going to meets, watching practice, encouraging your kid's hard work, this is all stuff that parents can do, and should do. As far as the gymnasts' training is concerned, that's the parents job; to provide support and encouragement, and I can't imagine how there could be such a thing as too much of that.
"Too involved" is when the parents start stepping into the coaches' territory. Coaching their kids, bribing their kids, yelling at their kids when they don't do well.
Hi Shawn,
You can take this reply with a grain of salt if you like. I've noticed in another post you talked about paying your daughter $1.00 for each time she got a cartwheel on beam (I think). Do you think that it she is trying to please you by practicing and not quitting on a mistake? I just worry that with 12 hours a week (which is a LOT for a 6 year old) training and a mini-gym at home that she sees that what you want is a gymnast. Children will try to please their parents. As well as a plethera of other behaviors to try and get attention from their parents.
Rather than spotting her and watching her practice at home until she gets something right, perhaps some family or mommy & me time away from the gym or mini-gym would be beneficial.
Please know I am saying this in kindness. I just heed what others have said about it being a marathon not a sprint. Overtraining/overuse injuries are a very sad thing to see. And, they can happen even in the very young. Also, if your daughter doesn't ever want to end practice on a negative, perhaps you need to remind her that it takes a LONG time to attain certain skills and remind her to have fun.
I think gym mum?'s idea about cross-training is a good idea. Perhaps swimming, riding a bike, or even going to the playground would be a good alternative outlet for your daughter.
Also, I would be wary of a gym that trains Level 4 (esp. a 6 year old level 4) 12 hours a week. Is there any evidence that shows that 12 hours of practice at this level is more beneficial than 9 hours a week? We have a local gym that trains their Level 4's 14 hours/week. Not one kid made it to L4 states. The two other gyms in the area train 9 hours a week and both had L4 state champions.
I just truly believe that over-training is dangerous and as a nurse I see what injuries do to a person long term. Please be very careful with your daughter. We have both seen posts on the parents forum regarding children being injured and not getting the medical help needed until the injury was permanent. That is a shame and a reminder that even coaches with the best intentions are coaches. As parents we are the only advocates for our children. We all need to remember this and not get distracted by the goal. The goal should be to have fun! We often can get caught up in how far our child may go. I try (not always successfully) to stay in the now and remember, fun is the most important thing, esp. at 6 years old.
Hope you haven't taken offense to my post, but I gave an honest, well intentioned reply.
This is the type of response I expect to get if/when I try to discuss my situtation with the club owner. So far he has let this woman do what ever she wants...she has the run of the place. My dd has been at this gym for 6 yrs, has been a state champ twice, has always been happy & has many friends on all levels. This is the 1st time my dd has told me another parent has made her feel "uncomfortable". My dd has even considered leaving the gym b/c of this woman(not necessarily her dd). It would be all well & good if she stayed to watch her dd....but she watches my dd too....intensly...bordering on scary. And I don't think the owner is going to do anything about it...even if I discuss it with him. B/c our dds are the same age & level & she seems the have the owner's "ear" ...I'm afraid anything I say will be seen as "sour grapes". Thanks Shawn for this thread & thanks to the CB for this forum. So far the only person I've been able to discuss my situation with, is another mother who moved her child as soon as she heard this woman was coming to our gym...she had already left on gym b/c of her & knew what she was like. I was really good friends with that mom, but even I thought she was over reacting..."this woman can't be that bad"....I thought!!! But now I find she will stop at nothing in order for her dd to win...right now my dd is in her way. This is not the team we once had Since my dd is the one she sees as her dd's main competition...my dd & I are the only ones who are really affected by her behavior. Can't decide if it's even worth "discussing" it with the owner. We may just leave...but hate to think we let this woman drive us away from a place my dd WAS happy & thriving. She really doesn't want to leave her friends & coaches....just this woman!!!!
BUT when it comes to my child she will not say anything, unless it is negative. Does it bother me, yeah it does, but I don't say anything - I just figure that there must be some kind of jealously there on her behalf. My kid works hard and I think she is a beautiful gymnast, she continues to improve - that's the important thing, plus my dd has no idea she is like this.
I have to admit that I really enjoy the workouts when she is not there, it's quiet and peaceful. I would consider just putting on my ipod and ignoring all that goes on up there, but I do enjoy talking to the other moms.
I do not find that true. My Mom and Dad come to almost every gym practice I have, and if one can't come the other does (if they have a meeting or aren't feeling good) I think there is a difference between parents that go to every practice and watch and encourage their children and the parents that go to every practice and act like one of those parents on those shows "Show bizz Mom/Dad". I think there is a big difference between being encouraging and over the top. But I love having my parents come to every practice and mock meet, it makes me feel like they like wathcing me improve
To each his own, but I think if your parents watched practice occasionally instead of every one of them, they would see more improvement. Not that you would be doing anything different, but to watch workout every day probably almost seems like a monotonous repetition of alot of the same stuff. But imagine if they hadn't watched in a few weeks, then saw a workout and would get excited over the "wow I didn't know you could do that!" and "wow you learned alot of new stuff since last time I saw you practice".
I love the "wow" experience! I caught the tail end of practice last night and my DD held a handstand for 19 seconds! I had no idea she could hold one that long! My DD is in the gym 10.5 hours a week. I love her, love watching when I can, but no way can I sit that long. I did it for pre-team only because she was 4/5 yrs old and you know how they still need mommy around for a quick hug. If she has something special to show me she does it afterwards or asks me to stay.