Why do some parents feel like they have to resort to sabotage???

[krazykidzmom]

What goes around comes around. I have seen it over and over.

 

[cher062]

I refer to the parents that do this as "Those Parents" They think their DD is queen and can do no wrong and is going to be the best if it kills her. I just don't get it. Yes I love it when my DD dose well and we do get privates for her to improve the areas where she needs a bit more attention but I can't even imagine instead of getting my DD extra help I would sabotage another so my DD can get ahead. I wish I could say I've never seen it but I have.

Our gym limits viewing time to 15 min at start (just enough time to see some running and warmups is all) and 15 min at the end (just in time to see the clean up). the last practice of each month parents can come 1 hour before end of class and view. The Drama Mamas ( I love that term - thanks CoachGoofy) are always there.

I am so happy this season because all the Drama Mamas are gone. the last 2 left the day after state to another gym and WOW what a difference in the feel of the gym, the friendship in the Girls etc. Its amazing how you remove one Gym queen and her drama mama and the whole atmosphere changes in the team.

 

[I-Heart-Beam]

Can we start a CB movement here??? Lets all pledge not to feed the gossip mill about move ups this season. Who's with me???? Maybe we can have a positive impact on all of our gyms!!!

I am IHeartBeam aka Anna and I agree

There was one woman at my gym who was a witch. And guess what, her daughter quit gym before me. I saw her walking out and was like, HAH, SERVES YOU RIGHT. In my head of course. I'm not that brave. She might have set her flying monkeys on me.

 

[krazykidzmom]

I think it is a really good idea to limit parent gym time.

 

[gymmomntc2e6]

count me in on the CB Movement

 

[gymluvr33]

I'm in too

 

[Lingualatina]

This is one of the reasons I think parents should only be in the gym for limited time, some nuts cannot handle watching a team practice, heaven forbid another child should be more talented or have a better night.

YES! Just this tuesday, it's only been about two weeks since I got my front handspring vault. I was the last one on my team to get it but I was the first one to get an actual block off the table (the other girls just arch off). My coaches were very proud and I was really happy because I am not as naturally gifted as most people on the team and usually I struggle the most and have to work the hardest to get skills. However, two of my teammates were having a very bad night (they got moved back to doing the Handstand flatback for the night) and so when my coach high fived me when I did good (or improved, not quite good yet, I should say) vaults, I saw them whispering to each other and later by the lockers they seemed sort of cold towards me, and I was sad because they weren't happy for me. (When they get new skills that I don't, I always high five them and tell them they were awesome even if I'm secretly a little jealous inside, and I wished they would do the same). Also, one of the girl's mom was there and she was giving my mom the cold shoulder too, and she was the only one of the parents who didn't give me a "Nice job!" She's the kind of parent who always watches everything and wants to make sure her daughter is on top. She was very upset that I scored better than her daughter at our last meet, because her daughter got a 6 on Vault and Bars, and was so close to not making it to State. Her daughter is very very talented on Floor and Beam and I think that her mom shouldn't expect her to be the best on every event! SO...Those are just my thoughts! I try to ignore her but sometimes it's hard!

 

[Ingwe]

I am really sorry that you are having to deal with this at Gym. Parents suck sometimes. LOL! My oldest son (13yrs old) played baseball for the JV team this year and the DRAMA was so bad that I actually stopped going to games just to avoid all the "why is so and so playing, he's only in 8th grade" and the constant comments every time a kid made an error etc. It was horrible and I've come to the point that I hope he chooses just Travel ball and skips High School altogether. ( I know it won't happend but I can dream LOL) I guess my point is that there are crazy parents in all sports and all we can do is try our best to ignore them and avoid them.

I will say that I have really wished that we were allowed to watch our girls practice but I have come to realization that maybe we are better off just dropping off and picking up. It really does limit the drama and the gossip.

 

[bookworm]

It's tough to have to listen to all this but I really believe that there are some people out there who are just EVIL. You just have to realize that that is who they are and most people can see right through them.

My daughter has always been a pretty good gymnast but I remember a statement one of my friends said to me early on when we would go to meets.... "oh the other parents are rooting for her, but they're not always rooting for her to win..."

 

[AGM78910]

We have two different set of parents at our gym.

One set (only 2 and sometimes one other mom) who will talk about the girls, girls from other gyms, what girl did what to who, etc.

Then the rest of us if we get there early sit in the corner and talk about our other kids, different places we have lived, and just the plain old crazy of our lives.

Then the other two moms wonder why no one will sit and talk to them!! Well, when I've heard you talk about my friend's kid, and my friend says you talk about my kid, I don't really feel comfortable sitting with them!

When at all possible, you and your daughter should surround yourself with the good people. I know it's impossible to keep all the bad out, but it will help you make it through the day (or practice!)

We also have those parents at our gym. They would brag about their kids, diss other kids, complain about the gym owners business practices, etc. I got so tired of listening to them that I just moved to another area to watch where I could not hear them.

At the end of the season, one of the kids quit the sport and the other left the gym.

Bottom line is it is best to avoid them and if that is not possible, don't engage or change the subject. They will get the message eventually.

 

[gymgramma]

WOW what happened? that was quite the rant!! Someone trying to undermine your DD?
I think some parents forget that it is their child's sport and not theirs....you see it in all sports that kids compete in. At least in soccer a ref can "red card" a parent out of the stands.
Perhaps this is why some gyms don't allow their team parents to watch practice - it keeps the problems down

 

[Deleted member D3987]

I'm a little urked and frustrated right now. It just seems like I run into so many parents that feel like they need to sabotage other kids chances in order for their own kid to get ahead. Whatever happened to healthy competition and just leaving it up to talent and/or hard work? I don't understand why some parents have to resort to trash talking, intimidation and just plain sabotaging other kids chances. What is wrong with people???? Is winning really that important???? And do you really want to "win" by beating up or knocking down the other person? That just seems like cheating to me...

Sorry for the rant...I just don't get people sometimes. Some days I just want to walk away from this life as a sports parent.

conicidentally, this was a most talked about subject matter amongst coaches at level 9 easterns in west virginia this past friday and saturday. i came home this morning but they are probably still discussing the same subject matter. it must have been a bad year for all coaches and club owners. i think you will start to see "observation" disappear because of what you have described. the country has lost its mind...

 

[3stars]

This was my daughter's first year of competing and I was slammed in the face by these drama-mamas (Love that term by the way!). I enjoy going to the gym and watching my child do something she loves. I hate that other people try to ruin that. We have 1 mom in particular who is the main culprit and she has a couple recruits who follow her. She has even trained her daughter to be that way to the other girls on her team. Its sad really. If she is looking for confirmation that her daughter is the best on the team, I'll be honest, she is. She is a very gifted little girl. But she is really hurting her daughter's chances at succeeding at this sport by behaving that way.