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Worst Meet Ever

GAgymmom

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So this is the opposite of a brag alert. My dd had her worst meet ever today (age 9, level 4). I’ll admit, I privately shed some tears. Deep down I felt she wouldn’t have a great meet based on how she’s been practicing,, but I certainly didn’t expect such low scores.

We always see the brag threads; this is a commiserating thread. Can any one relate to this? Did you talk it over with your dd or just go on with life? Did you discuss ways she can improve her routines? Did you make it a learning moment? Or did you just pretend it didn’t happen?

We talked about the improvements she made, discussed the problems and ways to work on them, discussed attitude and sportsmanship, and I asked her if she liked gymnastics. I just wanted to see if she still enjoyed it, since she’s been doing it since she learned to walk. She assured me she did, with a “how could you even think I don’t like it” look on her face, lol!

Ugh! :(
 
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Aussie_coach

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Having a few bad meets early on the in gym career is quite healthy. It’s hard for those kids who start out well, win, win, win and never have a bad meet and then as they get older and it gets harder they experience it then.

Getting practice in dealing with those meets where it doesn’t go as planned, will develop great life skills both for future gym and for future life.

I think it can help to focus on the aspects of the meet she enjoys, which have nothing to do with the results. Like being with her teammates, getting to see different gyms/places/gymnasts from around the country etc. The enjoyment of the experience should always be based on more than just how well it goes.
 

Gymx2

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I think it's totally normal to feel down when your kid has a bad meet. They work so hard and when it doesn't come together on meet day it can really kick you in the gut, no matter how many times you've told your kid things like, "Medals don't really matter, it's the effort you put in that counts!" Yes, my kid has had bad meets and it stings for a few days before moving on. In a perfect world we'd always say, think, and feel the "right" things, but in reality I find it can be tough not to let a bad meet get to me a little. I try not to let that show and focus on improvements, but if you go by social media every single girl out there is amazing and top of the podium at every single meet. I know you are an experienced gym mom, so you know this is a crazy sport and one bad day doesn't define a season, or a gymnast. But, yeah, it's no fun at all when they have a bad meet.
 

profmom

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I've been through quite a few bad meets. I find that it's best to follow their lead. If they want to talk and process, sure, go ahead and help them to keep it positive ("I know you're upset about the fall on beam, but it looked like you were really going for it," or "you did make that one skill you've had trouble with in the gym" or "I know you felt awful about that silly thing you did, but I was so proud of you for picking yourself up and finishing your routine strong.") But if they don't want to talk about it, don't push it. They'll get feedback from their coaches, and the coaches might be prioritizing different things than what you noticed.
 

GAgymmom

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Yes, this is my 3rd gymnast, The others had some bad meets in the past. This one just took the wind out.
 

3cats

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Gosh, I'm sorry to hear it was a rough day. I've definitely walked away from meets feeling pretty bummed. I know it's my daughter's sport, but it's so hard not to put yourself put in their shoes, know how hard they work, know how much they want it, and your heart breaks when it all falls apart at the seems.

It's the lesson of sports though. There will be bad days and even terrible days. But I get it. I've been there. Heck, my daughter's first 2 T&T meets havent been spectacular. (Enough to make me daydream about how her artistic gymnastics season would have gone this year) but I kind of grit my teeth a bit and hope's this all goes ok (hopefully better) as she gets more experienced and the season progresses.

My daughter doesn't want to bring anything up about the meet. She feels sadness and disappointment very personally and doesn't want to share it with anyone. She only expresses frustration after a bad meet, which mostly required me to just sit there and listen. Any comments I make at that point she interprets as negative. I have to bite my tongue. So we go on as if nothing happened. Not sure that's the best approach. But it's what she likes.

I hope a couple days and distance from her bad meet you both feel better!
 

profmom

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After being in this so long (and I know you have too, GAgymmom), it's interesting to me that sometimes I feel differently about a meet than my gymnast does, and I've seen it go in both directions. Regardless, I try to accentuate or affirm the positive if my gymnast wants to talk. My emotions about a meet are mine to process, and I don't want to burden my kid with helping me if I'm feeling down about his/her day. I think the only situation in which I'd express criticism would be if my gymnast was acting out or not being supportive of teammates. It's understandable to be down if you're having a bad day, but you don't get to take that out on your coach or your friends. (My son had a rather bad meet last weekend, but one of the bright spots for him was his teammate's strong performance.)
 
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Pirouette

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My DD16 moved up to Platinum this year, and it's been ROUGH. After 3 meets, she has earned a total of 2 medals, and both of those were in the first meet. She struggles on bars, especially, and even on floor, her best event, she sees the other gymnasts being able to perform so much better than she does. She knew going into this season that it was going to be a lot harder, but it's starting to take a toll on her confidence. Hoping for stronger performances at the next meet in 2 weeks. Life lessons are great, sure, but it's hard on her, loving the sport so much and knowing that she isn't as good as she wants to be at it.
 
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springsforlegs

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My DS has that kinda meet last week. He was competing a level up, so we knew it would be a challenge, but it was worse than expected on certain events. For example floor he got a 5.4. The hardest part, it wasn't completely his fault, the event had two boys going at the same time on floor and it completely throw him off, to the point his first pass he was out of bounds and still had two skills to do.

Honestly, we talked about it, his coach talked to him about it, and he decided to move forward and not let it get to him. He went into the gym on Monday with a clear attitude and worked hard. Someone else mentioned, getting some realization that they aren't always going to be the best young, is good for them, as long as they can push past it. He is definitely over the floor routine, while mama bear is still angry every time she see's the score.
 

OrchidZ

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There have been several rough meets over the years. I find it interesting and cool that, generally, my kid has a good attitude about it. There have been a few where she has come out fighting tears. Afterward, I try to talk to her about meets from a balanced viewpoint. I'm not going to tell her I think she had a fantastic meet if we both know she didn't. How can she trust me to be honest in anything if I say everything was awesome every time? But I look for the positive and be honest about that part. If it was clearly the result of how she had been practicing, she knows that. I did mention it after meets when she was younger (trying to encourage her to focus in class), but it did NOT help and re-enforced negative thoughts she already had about herself. Obvs, I stopped. Plus, she's at the age where we all know that she's doing her best in class. She wants to compete well. I don't discuss the skills themselves or the scores or placement (unless it's to say that a skill I saw was beautiful). That's between her and the coaches. If she mentions them, I just listen. I ask her which of her mental training techniques she used and what worked/didn't. I compliment the positive traits I saw demonstrated like supporting teammates, positive attitude, focus, determination, etc.. And, yes, I would note places those traits/skills could have helped if applied - though generally, she does great at that. Apart from that, I've found it best to just let it go. If it becomes about how a parent feels about her competition, she'll start to get nervous at meets because she'll worry about how they will react. That mental association is a hard one to overcome. With time, she might not even want them there anymore. When a kid is ready to buckle down and work hard, they will. And the meets will be what they will be.
 

GAgymmom

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Having a few bad meets early on the in gym career is quite healthy. It’s hard for those kids who start out well, win, win, win and never have a bad meet and then as they get older and it gets harder they experience it then.

Getting practice in dealing with those meets where it doesn’t go as planned, will develop great life skills both for future gym and for future life.

I think it can help to focus on the aspects of the meet she enjoys, which have nothing to do with the results. Like being with her teammates, getting to see different gyms/places/gymnasts from around the country etc. The enjoyment of the experience should always be based on more than just how well it goes.
Trust me, she’s never been the “win, win, win” gymnast, although she has surprised herself, us, and her teammates with the occasional high score or 1st AA. She was next to last at state in level 1, not so hot last year at level 3 state. But this was just —-whoo! i wanted to post a real thread about the majority of gymnasts—we always see the ones who are always winning, and I love that! But there’s that other side of the medal, and it is rough. And it’s ok if as her mom I shed some tears over her rough meet. Those who want to keep saying “Your sport or hers?” need to understand that we have emotions and it’s natural to be sad.

This thread is for the other moms who rarely get to post “She won first AA or first ______.” I know you are out there, and you’re not alone.
 

OrchidZ

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Trust me, she’s never been the “win, win, win” gymnast, although she has surprised herself, us, and her teammates with the occasional high score or 1st AA. She was next to last at state in level 1, not so hot last year at level 3 state. But this was just —-whoo! i wanted to post a real thread about the majority of gymnasts—we always see the ones who are always winning, and I love that! But there’s that other side of the medal, and it is rough. And it’s ok if as her mom I shed some tears over her rough meet. Those who want to keep saying “Your sport or hers?” need to understand that we have emotions and it’s natural to be sad.

This thread is for the other moms who rarely get to post “She won first AA or first ______.” I know you are out there, and you’re not alone.
'Yep' to all of that. This is why I started the "ExtraOrdinary Athletes" thread. I want to hear and see more from parents of the 'regular' kids.

Yes, it's ok to be sad. Absolutely.
 

gymmom10

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These are the kind of posts that always make me think back on my daughter’s journey. While overall she was pretty lucky and won a lot, there were some devastating losses- some early on that didn’t matter; some later that mattered a lot. I think she handled things ok publicly though not so great in private- it’s just hard when something means so much to you. But one thing we still talk about today, when she was (old) L5, she did such a disastrous bar routine at a competition that we shut the video camera off in the middle, it was difficult to watch.... we just wanted it to end- multiple falls, etc. She got in the 5’s. And then we erased the video because it was just so painful for her and yes us, to see her fail. So of course years later as she is sitting on her D1 college team, that is the one video we wish we still had which shows just how far she has come. But I get you GA gymmom- it is very hard seeing your child have tough meets. Every one of them is still with me.
 

ldw4mlo

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We acknowledge with her in that “any given Sunday” football way. She is a fan.
So it wasn’t a great day and now it’s your rear view mirror. look. Look forward.

We then focus on the positives there always are even if it’s you just kept going. And she always does. How she was a good teammate and smiled for her friends....

Last year was nothing but “bad” . Injury, puberty, only did a few meets which amounted to L7 routines at L8 that then were even worse with debacles.First year she didn’t qualify for states at all (She never had a score where it didnt previously). And I was very glad I didn’t have make up on at the debacle meet. We were upset for her. She, I think, was just glad to declare the season over and focus on recovering her skills. It did hurt that she was the only kid on her team not going to States. That weekend I made sure she did something all about her but not about gym.....
 
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GAgymmom

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These are the kind of posts that always make me think back on my daughter’s journey. While overall she was pretty lucky and won a lot, there were some devastating losses- some early on that didn’t matter; some later that mattered a lot. I think she handled things ok publicly though not so great in private- it’s just hard when something means so much to you. But one thing we still talk about today, when she was (old) L5, she did such a disastrous bar routine at a competition that we shut the video camera off in the middle, it was difficult to watch.... we just wanted it to end- multiple falls, etc. She got in the 5’s. And then we erased the video because it was just so painful for her and yes us, to see her fail. So of course years later as she is sitting on her D1 college team, that is the one video we wish we still had which shows just how far she has come. But I get you GA gymmom- it is very hard seeing your child have tough meets. Every one of them is still with me.
My daughter once scored in the 5s at a level 10 meet on bars. We didn’t speak about it. She also won bars at that meet with that score. Yep! She swore me to secrecy about the actual score. ;)
 

gymmom10

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My daughter once scored in the 5s at a level 10 meet on bars. We didn’t speak about it. She also won bars at that meet with that score. Yep! She swore me to secrecy about the actual score. ;)
Well L 10 just getting through your bar routine sometimes is a win! But I know what you mean- there were also times for my daughter where she won with a lower score that wasn’t her best and she was not proud and refused to accept any congrats.
 
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profmom

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Sometimes all I can do is write about it in my journal, because I don't want my child to feel bad, and their father will just get wound up way worse than me if I try to talk to him! It's funny though -- I just realized that if one of them is having a terrible meet, sometimes the best possible companion for me is the other one. They are both so good at putting it into perspective.
 

momofsushi

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I can relate, I did cried ( secretly) after my daughter last meet, her first L7 meet. SHe was a very sucessful L5 gymnast last season so this meet was hard. she felt twice on beam and got a 5, and ended up being the last overall. She keep it to herself until after the meet, when she cried...she was sad for the day and then it was ok. I was sad for a little bit more..( oups!). LIfe lesson for me. i would like to protect her from everything, but that would be I good thing.
 
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