WAG Courage to ask parents

[LuckyGymnast22]

Sorry. I did not realize that there was a general forum. Thank You Bogwoppit. Hi everyone. I have not been on chalkbucket in a really long time(more than 2 years). I used to do gymnastics from the time I was 4 till about 10. I recently have an interest again. I am 15 and this same problem( asking my parents) happened when I was 12 but then my interest changed to softball.I really want to join my high school gymnastics team or the gym that is near where I live. The problem is I don't know how to ask my parents. My dad would be fine with it but it is really my mother's decision. I am really close with her but I am afraid that if she says no we will not be as close. She is not that big a fan of gymnastics but I really want her to say yes. Does anyone have any suggestions to build my courage and tips on how to ask her. Thank You so much this means a lot to me.

 

[MILgymFAM]

I guess the big question is why is she not a fan? Is it the time? The money? The dangers? In order to present it in a way that can best allay her worries, you have to know what her general objections are. High school gym should be both cheaper and a smaller time commitment than club gym, so those should be easy sells. If it's worry that you will get hurt, well that's harder to argue, but an open discussion about why you want to go back to gym and a talk about the coaches and equipment should be a starting point. The best thing you can do is just go for it- talk to her. She's your mom and she wants you to be happy and go for what you want with a passion. Best of luck!

 

[LuckyGymnast22]

Thank You I know that it is not injury because I already play softball and she knows how in gymnastics they take precautions for safety. I know she thinks the pounding and jumping causes stunt in growth but I don't know how to explain that it does not. She also does not like leotards I don't know how to get around that issue. I am trying my best to keep my grades high so I can show that I can handle the time commitment. I am hopefully going to be getting more info about the team from someone at my school tomorrow so maby I will have more info for my mom. I'm not sure how to bring the subject about wanting to do gymnastics up to my mom though.

 

[MILgymFAM]

Just say flat out- mom, my school has a gymnastics team and I want to join. Then launch into the info you have. Direct is always best.

 

[OzZee]

Just say flat out- mom, my school has a gymnastics team and I want to join. Then launch into the info you have. Direct is always best.

I agree, just say it. Worst case she says flat out no, but you wouldn't be any worse off than not asking.
As you know some of her concerns have information to refute them.
Look up about stunting growth.
Re leotards - find out if the school team or local club allow shorts, or even fitted t shirts over the Leos.
If you think your dad would be more open, maybe bring it up at dinner when all together so he can have input.
No matter what - you will not be less close with your mum by bringing it up! She would not want you feeling this way and holding things back from her.
good luck!

 

[l.c.o]

In regards to stunting growth, are you still growing? This may no longer be so concerning to her (versus age 10 when you first left the sport) if you're done or nearly done growing.

And I agree - just ask. You can tell her you have something you'd like to discuss that is important to you. The more maturely you handle it, the more likely she is to really listen. Be prepared to have more reasons than "Because I want to". Print a few pro-gymnastics articles as support. I can't speak for all moms, but really, we usually just want you to be happy and healthy, and to support your dreams as best we can.

 

[LuckyGymnast22]

Thank You all for the advice. I just showed my mom that I could do a back walkover and she was very excited. So once I find more info about the team from a classmate next week I think I will flat out say to her that I am interested in joining the gymnastics team.

 

[MILgymFAM]

Thank You all for the advice. I just showed my mom that I could do a back walkover and she was very excited. So once I find more info about the team from a classmate next week I think I will flat out say to her that I am interested in joining the gymnastics team.

That's great that she was exciting and you feel ready to talk to her. One more bit of advice I can offer is to get the information about the team from the coach or faculty advisor. You don't want to get advice from another student and sell it to your mom, and it's the wrong information. Your classmate may have the best of intentions and still be incorrect. Always get important information from the source.

 

[LuckyGymnast22]

Thank You when I ask her on Monday Ill get the coach's email from her so I can email her directly I appreciate you helping me so much with this

 

[Sari]

Great advice above. Just wanted to assure you that your mom's love for you will not change because of a potentially tense conversation. I've had plenty of those with my own mother and we're still just as close

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Get Dad to buy in and help with Mom.

 

[my4buffaloes]

Well, you could do like my son did and walk in the door one day and say "I signed up for the gymnastics team at the high school." (my son became a wrestler though). We were stunned! But looked into it and supported him. Hopefully your parents will too.

 

[NMNorskie]

I'm a mom, not a kid, but I can tell you this: When my daughter has something on her mind, I want her to tell me. I would be very sad if she didn't feel like she could approach me. I think most moms feel the same.

Good luck!

 

[LuckyGymnast22]

I just got all the info from the coach about the team. It is a lot less time commitment than I first thought so that will be good for my parents. I just need help leading into asking my mom. Any suggestions on how to start the conversation? Thank YOu

 

[NMNorskie]

I just got all the info from the coach about the team. It is a lot less time commitment than I first thought so that will be good for my parents. I just need help leading into asking my mom. Any suggestions on how to start the conversation? Thank YOu

I would start with something like, "Mom, I want to talk to you about something that's important to me." It might help if you have a sheet of paper with the costs and time commitments laid out, so she can see that you've put a lot of thought and research into this. When my kids come to me with something like that, I am always impressed.

Good luck!

 

[my4buffaloes]

I would try to get her alone - maybe even out of the house. Can you take her for coffee? I would start it with something like..."Mom, I need to talk to you about something very important to me." Make sure it is a time when she is really able to listen.

 

[duyetanh]

Who is more inclined to be more receptive? I would start with that person...who I am thinking is mom...and bring up the moment where she was excited about the skills you could do, and now you want to keep going with them in a more organized environment.
Good luck!