WAG Is my kid over gymnastics?

[Orangesoda]

I've been wrestling with this issue for several months now. I read a lot on this forum about girls who are bonkers about gym, practice at home all the time and can't get enough. I don't have one of those and honestly, I'm having a little trouble figuring my child out - and I think I have EVERYTHING figured out usually, so that's really saying something!

Does anyone have a gymnast who, at 5yrs old, pretended they didn't really like gym when people asked them about it? Does anyone have a kid who thanked them later for making them stick with it?

What questions do I need to be asking myself? I need a checklist. Coaches, what are the signs that a kid is just not cut out for this sport? I'm having trouble sifting typical 5yr old laziness from actual signs that this ain't her thing.

I know you don't know my child. I get that. I'm hoping a discussion might open my mind up to the way I need to be thinking about the topic. TIA.

 

[mOm2gymnast<3]

At 5, I really don't think she can make a decision yet. I think that where you need to come in. Maybe a little break from gym may help. Sometimes, they go through this. They wanna be with mommy instead. My 4 year old was in and out of gym until just recently she decided she misses it.

 

[profmom]

How many hours a week is she doing gym? At five, while the occasional unwillingness to go to a practice is to be expected, in general they should be there infrequently enough that they're usually wanting a little more.

 

[Orangesoda]

How many hours a week is she doing gym? At five, while the occasional unwillingness to go to a practice is to be expected, in general they should be there infrequently enough that they're usually wanting a little more.

She does 3 hours a week, and I know that's on the low end for her age. It's a work-dense 3 hours though. The coach really keeps them going hard every minute with heavy emphasis on form and detail. It's hard work! This coach produces great, strong little gymnasts; I'm not being critical.

 

[Pineapple_Lump]

I would ask the coach. Sometimes kids don't want to go to gym, but are completely happy and committed when they are there. If she is goofing off all the time... might be time for a break.

 

[profmom]

DS's teammate's little brother was moved up to team at 5 1/2 and was not ready. After a tough fall and early winter, the coach and his mom decided to move him back to rec and let him mature a little more. He just was not able to focus and follow directions and invest for the entire time of the practice, which is I think two hours. As Pineapple_Lump says, a conversation with the coach is a good idea.

 

[Natasha]

I don't think 3 hours for a 5 year old is on the low end at all. Is that 1 1/2 hrs 2x a week or another set up? Generally if a 5 year old isn't enjoying it, I would think that means it is too serious too soon.

 

[rjb123]

I would not make a five year old do gym if they didn't seem to like it. Period. To be honest, I wouldn't make ANY kid do gym who didn't like it. (barring just having a "bad day" or whatever) This sport is great FOR SOME KIDS. Not all, SOME. I would pull her out and try another activity. If she doesn't care, you have your answer. If she begs to go back, you also have it.

 

[Redford]

She does 3 hours a week, and I know that's on the low end for her age.

What? Is it?

 

[Orangesoda]

I would not make a five year old do gym if they didn't seem to like it. Period. To be honest, I wouldn't make ANY kid do gym who didn't like it. (barring just having a "bad day" or whatever) This sport is great FOR SOME KIDS. Not all, SOME. I would pull her out and try another activity. If she doesn't care, you have your answer. If she begs to go back, you also have it.

I understand that mentality. What if the child likes every activity for the first couple months and then wants to try something different when the "newness" wears off and the hard work persists? Hopefully you're not reading this as argumentative. I'm just voicing the struggle in my mind

 

[Orangesoda]

What? Is it?

I could be wrong.

 

[skschlag]

I think at 5, she should be exploring all the things that are out there. My son did baseball, basketball, soccer, swimming, gymnastics (not all at once Different seasons). We gave him lots of options and opportunities in sports, and other fun activities. His passion became clear when he was off gym and in other sports. If gym is her passion, she will come back. In the meantime, she willl see what else is out there. As they get older, that gets more and more difficult. And if she comes back great! If not, she might find a new passion. In either case, she comes out the winner

 

[Quadqueen]

I don't think 3 hours a week at 5 is on the "low end" at all. Assuming we're talking about 1.5 hours twice a week, that's plenty at 5. For your DD, it may be too much. Perhaps she would be happier going down to a rec/once a week class? Or, take Pineapple Lump's advice.

 

[samsmama]

Some kids just take awhile to find the thing they are passionate about. Both my kids tried out a bunch of different sports over many years, but didn't love anything. I started to think they never would and that I should have pushed them harder to stick with something. Then DS started gymnastics and it was clear right away that this was going to be his thing. He has never once complained about gym. Same for DD with tennis (and she was 10 before she settled on that).

I would give her some other choices and follow her lead. FWIW, I think three hours a week is kind of a lot at her age, especially since it sounds like it's pretty intense.

 

[Redford]

I don't know. Standards are all over the place. In our region 5 year olds in preteam will usually do 1-2 hrs.
With gymnasts we often forget how young they actually are. A 5 year old has a totally different perception of time. 3 hrs of concentration on form and details might just be a lot to someone who still isn't sure of who she is and what she likes.

 

[my4buffaloes]

I don't think you should talk about it much. She is signed up so she goes. When it comes time to sign up for the next session ask her if she wants to continue doing gymnastics. If the answer is no pull her for awhile. If yes, then keep taking her. You don't need to over think it right now. And you don't need to decide on the long term future of your child/gymnast either.

I would take this opportunity to let her try other things and see what sticks. I have a child that has been doing gymnastics since age 3 and would never choose anything else. I also have a child that has literally played a different sport every season his whole life. About the only things we haven't tried are lacrosse and hockey. Whatever works for the kid I am good with and will support.

 

[COz]

I understand that mentality. What if the child likes every activity for the first couple months and then wants to try something different when the "newness" wears off and the hard work persists? Hopefully you're not reading this as argumentative. I'm just voicing the struggle in my mind

I think that just means that they enjoyed the activity but are not passionate about it.

It's absolutely fine for a child not to be passionate about an activity.
They might just be a person who enjoys recreational activities but doesn't choose one that they stay with for long periods. I know adults who do this and they are perfectly healthy and happy with this. Frustrating for someone who wants to get really good and stick with every activity that they try though

Some kids know exactly what they want to do at 5 and their desires basically remain consistent into adulthood. Some kids have no idea what they'd like to specialize in or if they'd like to specialize. Some adults don't know either.

Give her choices. If she stops enjoying something, then let her try something else. As people have said, if she asks to come back, then you'll know.
Also, if you ask her if she wants to come back, she may say yes, then want a break again later. That's ok too. She may just not want a high level of commitment.

I haven't ever heard a kid pretend that they didn't like it when people asked. Do you think she's pretending? It does sound like perhaps it's a bit too much too soon for her. Maybe in a years time she will want this intensity of training but perhaps it is a bit much just now.

5 year olds in Australia *might* do 4-5 hours, more if you are elite stream, but it is much more common to still be doing a 1 hr rec class or a 1.5hr development class at that age. Same for 6 year olds. We don't start competing until the year they turn 6 and most kids would then compete level 1.

 

[Bess]

Hmmm. Is gym the one activity she does? Could you work in something else during the week if she is scheduled for the gym once or twice a week? We are coming to a crossroads too...little bit loves gym but we would love to have her try something else too so she can get a taste of other activities. It's hard bc she is going 3 days for 11 hrs a week. She just turned 6

 

[Mrs. Puma]

Let me know when you find out! Lol! My 9&1/2 year old Dance (for now!) DD still doesn't know what she wants..and that's ok. They're all different! Good luck

 

[Deleted member 18037]

A couple of things, how do you know she is pretending?

As for signs, I have a kid who likes gymnastics, is really good at it. But is not "passionate" about it.

I think, kids, adults, we all have off days, where we just don't "wanna". Completely normal. My girl has them.

But what I use as a signs. When she grumbles, I tell her she can quit anytime but she needs to let me know what she will be doing instead. So far she always decides gymnastics.

Next even when she grumbles, when we get there, she always heads out onto the floor happily and willingly, no complaining or stalling. If she gets to a point where she is miserable while there. If I see that misery carrying over to other things., I will know she is done.