Parents Brag Alert and Advice on How to Manage a girl who does well

[lovofu]

Well I know this is a strange post...Little Bit did great again...38.275 but it's becoming old hat...."she's a machine" is the comment we hear....and it's expected. How do you help a little gymmie stay excited when 38+ is expected? It's a long road and I want to help her!!
YouTube - Excalibur Cup 2011 Sophia

 

[sportyspice]

She sounds like a bright little star and understandably you don't want her light dimmed! Who finds that score "old hat"? Ignore the comments and sit back and enjoy your daughter's gymnastics journey. If she is overly conscious of other's expectations/comments etc. then this is a great opportunity for her to start learning how to internalise this sport as her own eg. its not about the score, but how she feels when achieving it. Shield her from people you know are likely to be negative and do not challenge them, take everything with a grain of salt. Every gymnast's journey is as individual as they are and can have many highs and lows. She is very talented and should she choose to continue in this sport for years to come, you will need to conserve your emotional energy for the many challenges that follow in higher levels!

 

[gymcoach26]

Has she expressed that she was bored or no longer excited? Most kids would be excited with winning all the time! To be honest, I think she needs to be moved out of level 5. Skill wise, score wise, and presentation/composure wise she looks like she is nailing it, so moving to level 6 would be the next thing in my mind.

 

[lovofu]

NO No she is still excited about the gym.....but still 7 years old! She'll do level 6 next year...coach is being really careful with her progress......just maybe the problem is parental....on the team and me.....it was fun to see the big leaps in scores and now that doesn't happen....goals are fun and now the goals are hard to grasp.

 

[flipper's fan]

NO No she is still excited about the gym.....but still 7 years old! She'll do level 6 next year...coach is being really careful with her progress......just maybe the problem is parental....on the team and me.....it was fun to see the big leaps in scores and now that doesn't happen....goals are fun and now the goals are hard to grasp.

Prepare her for the scores not being as high as she moves up. She will probably still ace level 6, but there are fewer 38s up there and it diminishes with each level. 35 and 36 are top scores for optionals in many many meets. And darn good top scores, too.

 

[Aussie_coach]

She is lovely, and very talented young thing. She also looks like she is a hard worker, focussing on the small details and listening well to her coach. You should be very proud of her.

Kids who win all the time do face a series of difficult problems, overcoming them is a part of their gymnastics journey, just as struggling to do well in comps may be a part of the gymnastics journey for other gymnasts.

It becomes difficult because winning loses its pleasure when its always expected. Instead of feeling good when they win instead it can be a feeling of relief. Also the comments from others can hurt, when your DD excietdly announced "I won" she may get a comment from team mates such as "like that was ever not going to happen" or "what did you even expect".

Help her to set other goals in gymnastics that are not about placing and scores like getting those few extra inches on over splits, or have a skill goal diary write in the skills she wants to achieve and tick them off as she achieves them. Or set strength goals. have her write in her diary for example the most chin ups she has ever done in a row and when she beats it have her write in her new record, and keep a track of her records. That way she still gets to see her scores go up and up.

Maybe have her start her own gymnastics blog and she puts in all her meet achievements. After each meet she can put her places and write one or two things that she really liked about the meet or things she was proud of. Again this will be like seeing her scores grow as she see's her lists of meet experiences getting longer and longer.

 

[kamgymmom]

I don't have any advice to add...just wanted to say that I never tire of watching her. She is very deserving of every win she gets!

 

[emorymom]

There is a gifted forum at mothering.com that might be useful for you.

 

[gymnut1]

Some very good replies here. I so enjoy watching her. You can see her hard work and focus have led to her success as much as her natural talent. Those are the traits that will carry her along through into optionals. I hope you can share her exitement in her success and not let anyone else damp her down. At 7 she deserves it. Beautiful pretty gymnastics. And she would still be adorably cute if she fell on every piece. Congratulations to her.

 

[lovofu]

Thanks to everyone for their insights.....She is excited and so am I and she never "hears" those comments...it's in the stands by parents (our team and others) and I can understand those comments to some extent.....it's remarkable that scores in the 38+ range are common for her and a score under 38 would be the "remarkable" result!!! Crazy isn't it.

 

[txgymfan]

Sophia is adorable and it is obvious she is working hard. She deserves to enjoy her season without the pressure. I would suggest and you help her focus on some skill (or upskill) related goals. Also, I think others have given you a good reminder to watch your own thinking and igore the negative thoughts. There is plenty of time for her to learn how to struggle in meets, for now just enjoy the ride and praise her behavior in meets.

I just love how she makes it a point to cheer for others on the award stand and shakes hands with the girls around her. That behavior deserves an even bigger brag than her scores. I bet her teachers and coaches love to work with her. I admit, I also like her two little pony tails bouncing on her head, little girls are such fun when they are in a good mood.

 

[MdGymMom01]

I just love how she makes it a point to cheer for others on the award stand and shakes hands with the girls around her. That behavior deserves an even bigger brag than her scores. I bet her teachers and coaches love to work with her.

I sooo agree with this!!! I was very impressed and loved seeing how gracious Sophie was on the stand and congratulated her competitors. She even waited until they called her name to go up onto the podium for each event (I have seen kids run up there just assuming they have won when their name hasn't even been called yet). And I agree that Sophie's character should be bragged about more, because that (to me) is more important in becoming a great gymnast (and person). Great job Sophie and mom for raising a great kid .

 

[gymmomof1]

She is a delight to watch and shows good sportsmanship. I hope she continues to grow in the sport and enjoy every minute of it --you too mom

 

[sportyfam5]

Honestly moving slow and having her do very well at compulsory levels will only help her at the optional levels. My daughter scored 38's her 1st year at level 4 so they moved her right to level 7 because she had all the skills too. Unfortunately it may not have been the best move. Her scores went down and her confidence too. That was almost 5 years ago. She has been stuggling to get level 8 skills for a few years, but competing at level 8 somewhat unsuccessfully. (Injuries and mental blocks have been a huge part a well) Although she still enjoys gymnastics she has doesn't have the passion and the love she first had.

Good luck to your daughter. You both should be proud and continue to focus on her attitude not her scores.

 

[ThaBigCheese]

Well I know this is a strange post...Little Bit did great again...38.275 but it's becoming old hat...."she's a machine" is the comment we hear....and it's expected. How do you help a little gymmie stay excited when 38+ is expected? It's a long road and I want to help her!!
YouTube - Excalibur Cup 2011 Sophia

I understand 100% where you are coming from, with regards to others expectations for your little one as my little one went through similar things in the fall. She won the all-around in all for District Meets, District Championships, took 2nd in South State and won the State Championship. As a dad, I knew she was a really good gymnast but I never expected that much, or that kind of success. But keeping her focused and excited has never been a problem. She loves it, and there is nothing that I have to do or say to keep her motivated. The only things I ever really say to her with regards to gymnastics is "How was gym?" Here reponse is either Good, or Good and Bad. I say..."Good good, or good, ok good?" She'll answer and then I ask if she had fun, and her response is always yes. And maybe we'll talk about what she worked on for a minute, thats is. Never talk about her scores after meets, only if she had fun, was she nervous and stuff like that.

You can get used to seeing those high scores like we did, and it's all good, but always ask her if she's having fun because that is most important. Our little one is nervous now because she's doing her first (and only, hopefully) Level 6 meet and then moving to 7. So I just tell her, do your best and forget the rest. Easy to say, but not so easy to do. I tell her that over and over before meets so it's drilled into her that I don't care what score she gets. I know you want to help her, but if she loves the sport, she loves the sport and you don't have to worry right now.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

if you all hopefully understand that scores are NOT an indicator of what's to come, your kids will have fun for a long time in our sport.

 

[Tumblequeensmom]

Honestly moving slow and having her do very well at compulsory levels will only help her at the optional levels. My daughter scored 38's her 1st year at level 4 so they moved her right to level 7 because she had all the skills too. Unfortunately it may not have been the best move. Her scores went down and her confidence too. That was almost 5 years ago. She has been stuggling to get level 8 skills for a few years, but competing at level 8 somewhat unsuccessfully. (Injuries and mental blocks have been a huge part a well) Although she still enjoys gymnastics she has doesn't have the passion and the love she first had.

I have personally seen this happen with those bright, young stars as well. Such a shame too. The moved about 4 Level 4's from DD's old gym straight up to L7 this year. The girls were great at L4, now they've really struggling at L7. I just don't understand. They're all very young, they have plenty of time to take it slow and develop as great gymnasts. All because this gym wants to develop a large optional team. Unfortunately, NONE of the optionals are doing very well and they're all struggling w/their skills.

 

[Shewhodrives]

Question

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How do you move from L4 right to L7? I don't understand that? I thought a gymnast needed to qualify or test out of L6?

 

[Deanna]

I think the other "folks" have gave great advice. I also agree that your DD is a wonderful gymnast. I LOVE watching her. She seems so spot on with everything. Even her personality..she smiles..looks like she is having a great time, and I love that she shakes hands with the other girls on the podium.

 

[ThaBigCheese]

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How do you move from L4 right to L7? I don't understand that? I thought a gymnast needed to qualify or test out of L6?

You do....at least here we do.