Parents BTDT: advice for changing gyms

[momto2js]

DS has been at the same gym for 4 years. He is 8 and at this point in his life the coaching style is not a good fit for him. I am making the parental decision to move him to another gym. The new gym is considerably closer to our home and both gym owners are friends. I don't believe there will be big drama with the coaches, but my kids wants no part of a move. He is comfortable, his friends are there... However, I see a change in his post practice behavior that has me concerned that the high pressure gym is not a good fit RIGHT now.

The question is how do I tell him, and make it happen. I have current coach setting up the trial with new coach (yes I know this is unusual). I am planning to tell him that the change is for adult reasons and I am sorry that he has to adjust, but I have faith it is for the right reasons. How long after a change did you know you made the right decision? How long did it take for your kid to adjust?

 

[skschlag]

No sugar coating, it will be tough. But from what I have heard, I think you are making a good decision. And I think it is great that you current coach is on board with this.

I think you do just have to tell him what you said above. Just that you think this will be a better fit, and he needs to try it. You can put a time limit on it, like for a year, a season, whatever.

If you are seeing these behaviors, then I think you hae to make a change. He may not realize that he wanted the change until after you make it.

D switched gyms when he was 6, and we did not give him the choice. We just went. It took about 3 months for him to fully adjust, but he was younger.

Good luck! I hope it goes smoothly for you!

 

[amiandjim]

We switched our DD6 in May of this year and it was actually easier than I thought. I asked her one day if she wanted to keep doing gymnastics and wanted to be the best gymnast she could be, and she said "Yes." So I told her we were going to look at new gyms the next week and would be switching her, and she said "ok." She was a bit nervous at first, and occasionally still says she misses her old gym/team, but is doing well at the new gym. Still working a bit to "fit in" but that's more because most of the girls are a year or two older than her. It might be a little harder for your DS because he is a bit older, but just be honest and tell him that it's your job to do what's best for him. As for when I knew we made the right decision, I will let you know when that occurs.

 

[beachgirl]

We just switched gyms on June 1. My daughter is 10 and had been at her gym 5 years. It was rough at first, but every day gets easier. The new gym is a much better fit for my daughter and she seems so much happier. Was your son friends with his teammates outside of the gym? If so maybe you can plan some get togethers with with them just so he knows he's not losing them as friends.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Switched my daughter at age 7. First week was very hard. Tons of crying. Next week no crying but not thrilled. After that she was fine.

Tell the truth, grown up decsion to do the. Best for him.

 

[munchkin3]

Switched both my kids at different times. I was very honest with them, with the focus being on its best for everyone.
Both wondered why we didn't switch sooner.

 

[Mrs. Puma]

We just switched 3 weeks ago. To answers both your questions, A) I instantly felt it was the right decision and B) she is still adjusting. I was just talking about this with some close friends, and I think the transition won't truly be over until all the "firsts" have been done. Obviously we did first practice, first week, ect, but I think when school starts will be different, first meet will be different...Overall she's doing great, but we've had a few tough moments. Things are just DIFFERENT, and change is hard. Even when it's the right move, and even for adults. It sounds like you've put a lot of thought into it, so I guess you just have to trust your gut as scary as that is! Good luck!!!

 

[Gym dad Wales]

I am currently contemplating moving my daughter, I was just wondering what is the best way to approach this with the current gym? Sorry for hijacking your thread.

 

[amiandjim]

I am currently contemplating moving my daughter, I was just wondering what is the best way to approach this with the current gym? Sorry for hijacking your thread.

We looked at gyms first, made a decision, and then went to the current gym to let them know.

 

[munchkin3]

Oh yeah, always speak highly of exit gym.....never make it personal. Don't criticize exit gym with new gym.....gyms don't like a new parent who walks in speaking poorly of another one......red flag, possible problem parent.

Especially with the kids too......your example is their example......

'Wasn't the right fit'
' makes more sense for our family'
'Pros outweigh the the cons'
'Better logistically'
In rare cases 'better financially'