DD's heart breaking.....

[DND]

DD has not been feeling great the past couple of days an she even stayed home from gym Tuesday after feeling very proud about getting over her block on Monday. She had been having a hard time with a block on her BWO BHS for a while and had gone back to doing them separately as well as on the low beam.

Monday was a great day and she warmed up a few on the low beam and then went up to the high beam and stuck five. She was feeling great!

She went to gym today even though she didn't feel 100 percent as wanted to at least try. Her day went fine and overall I thought she had a good day all things considered.

When we got home she told me that at the end of class today the coach told her that she didn't think she would be ready to compete this year. She started to cry and I could just feel her little heart breaking. I still feel it as I get this off my chest and it even brings a tear to my eye....my heart breaks for her too. Even though she is the youngest in her group (she was one of three who got moved up to train with the head coaches) all she sees is that she is going to be left behind while the other girls compete and travel to meets. She doesn't care if she wins or not; she just wants to try and be with her friends.

She even went on to say that she is scared to go to gym tomorrow now as she doesn't believe in herself and thinks her coaches don't believe in her either.

I tried to comfort her and get her to see all sides saying that she will still be part of the group no matter what. I tried to remind her that she is at the first year to be able to compete in her category, while the other two girls are actually at the last and would have to move up next year regardless. I told her the we are proud of her regardless if she competes this year as there will be many competitions in the years ahead.

I even tried to tell her that nothing is set in stone; the first competition is in January and if she wants it bad enough and is willing to work hard she can always try to go for it and prove them wrong. All she needs is to take her giants out of the straps, and her dismount on beam and of course the dreaded block which really she seems to be on her way of getting over.

Then she mentioned that they took the other two girls to be fitted for their leotards and tracksuits, but they did not take her. I am kind of shocked as I know we will be expected to get one regardless if she competes or not, but I can't believe that hey would leave her out like that. I have to admit that really bothers me. There are sign up that there is general fittings starting on the 24th, but why should she feel left out when they coaches are doing the fittings for everyone else.

It is taking all of me not to email them and ask what the heck were they thinking. You cannot tell me that as a head coach you would not realize how that would make a little girl of 8yo feel...OMG!!!!

Well thats my vent and I just pray that tomorrow is a better day!

 

[Iwannabemargo]

so sorry for you - it hurts like hell when you can't make them better doesn't it ?

 

[bogwoppit]

You need to speak to the coach. You need to get it from the horses mouth. I think the path that your coach is choosing for you dd is a good one, but it does take some time to get there. The level of skills at those meets is high, as is consistency. I know it is hard to hear you are not ready to compete, but that is a safer and kinder way then pushing her to be ready when she is not.

The regular provincial stream is easier and they enter with lower level skills, part of being a part of the National system is patience as they are working to get high level skills fast. When she emerges on the comp scene, as a USAG L7 equivalent, it is important that she is ready.

SO I suppose the question could be, is she wanting to compete more than she wants to be in the level she is??

THe whole leo thing is tough, my own went through that one year, she was the youngest in her group and the region changed the cut off dates for competing. SO the rest of her training group got their lovely leos, and competed, and she didn't.

Tell the coach that you dd is very sad about not competing and, almost, more sad about not getting fitted for the leo, coaches are mostly human, and they tend to care.

Poor little thing.

 

[DND]

so sorry for you - it hurts like hell when you can't make them better doesn't it ?

Yes it does!

 

[DND]

Thanks Bog,

I do know that they are doing what is best for her as I know they had a very hard time deciding when they moved her up as she is on the young side. My faith in them is strong!

I am sure my DD does not want to switch groups just to compete. Now that I have had overnight to get over her hurt I really think the biggest thing for her is being left behind and that is what I will have to try and help her understand and deal with.

For the leo issue; I am going to see how today goes just in case it was just a timing thing and they are planning to measure her today. I don't think they would leave her out intentionally or do anything to hurt her for that matter, it may have just been a busy day where they couldn't get to everyone.

If nothing happens by the end of todays class then I will talk to them as it could be they have not really had girls that young directly under them for so long that they forget how different things can be taken through the eyes of an 8yo.

Cross my fingers today is a new day and hopefully a better one!

I will keep you posted and thanks again!

 

[mariposa]

That is so tough. I think that the coaches probably are just thinking of her best interest. I know that my daughter was in a similar situation and we were actually thinking of moving out of State and she had worked so hard, so I talked to the coach and they let her compete. She much younger than your daughter, but still, thinking you don't care about medaling/winning/etc, is much easier than actually doing it. Same goes with getting out there and not being ready. Your daughter is very young and with the track she is on, I think it will be a good thing for her to really get solid on her skills and confidence before going out there on the big stage.

Congrats to her on getting past her block though, that is a huge skill for a little girl and she should be proud of herself. Remind her that many girls her age aren't even close to doing that skill and that she needs to be proud of herself.

Hope she has a great practice today!!

 

[MaryA]

:grouphug: Hugs to your daughter, and to you too. It sounds like she is a really tallented young gymnast who has the potential to go far with her gymnastics... but that is limited consolation to an 8-year-old who just wants to be with her friends and compete and wear a pretty leo. You're right... if the coaches haven't worked with a child this age in a while, they probably don't "get it."

 

[gymmomof1]

I too think you need to talk to the coaches to see what they are thinking. It's still 3 months away and a lot can happen I'm that time. Big hug to you both!

 

[jdf]

These little things really hurt the little ones, and the not so little ones. When my dd got an injury and couldn't compete level 6, all of her teammates got lockers except for her. She couldn't get one until she competed here first level 6 meet, was the gym's rule.
She cried for 3 days on and off, and didn't want to go to see all of her friends and teammates decorating their lockers.

Of course the coaches shouldn't have your dd compete if she isn't ready, but to drop that bomb during practice and then not measure her for a leo is not handling the situation with sensitivity. I don't mean that they did it maliciously, they were probably busy thinking about other things.