WAG Does your gym do this?

[kayjaybe]

Some of you saw my other post about yesterday's bad meet for dd. One of the things she hates the most after a bad meet is that in the next practice (tonight) each person stands up and tells what they placed on. After each girl's placings, they either clap and go "woo!" or if they didn't place, they do a single clap and go "aww..."

Obviously, this makes the girls that don't place feel TERRIBLE. It is especially hard because in our team, often most of them place on something. Last year, there was a girl in L5 who never got a single medal. She had to stand up and do that after every single meet. (She finally got her first medal yesterday --- SO happy for her!!!)

Is there some motivational thing I'm missing here? I'll tell you that it doesn't motivate my child and I've spoken to other moms that feel the same way. Today, my dd will be one of only two girls out of 18 total on her level 6 team to have to stand up and do this. If it was more like half of them, I think it would be easier.

 

[ginnymac]

That is a philosophy that would not sit well with me. I don't think that I would be able to tolerate that.

 

[agymmom]

I think that is an awful way to treat the girls and can't help but believe that it affects their self esteem. Any chance your dd could be absent for the first part of practice where that is done?

 

[bogwoppit]

What a childish, and nasty, practice.

 

[Seeker]

I think that is pretty rotten...and definitely embarrassing and de-motivating for kids who don't place. Only thing that happens at our gym is the results go on the team bulletin board with a few photos from the meet. No one is ever shamed. I'm sorry that happens to any gymmie, but especially for your daughter today. I will send her some fairy dust and hope it doesn't crush her spirit.

 

[clrmom]

I wouldn't like this at all. What I really find interesting is that what age group you are in can make a difference. For example, Girl A can get a higher score than girl B but place lower because her age group was more competitive. Overall, I don't think this would motivate anyone.

 

[GymnastJoy]

IMO, totally unnecessary and just plain mean. That's what awards are for at the meet. Girls who placed had their glory and audience applause. Those who didn't place are well aware. They don't need to relive it at the gym the next day.

 

[sglemon]

Ours did it a few times, and several of us moms complained and they don't seem to do it anymore. Well, at least I haven't seen or heard about it. Sometimes they do talk about a few highlights, which I am not thrilled about. They don't want the girls discussing scores and this kind of talk encourages it.

 

[GymBee97]

Reminds me of the old weight watchers meetings where they clap if you lost weight and oinked if you didn't. Probably why I didn't keep going. this form of Humiliation is so wrong and unnecessary. I don't care how good the program was this would not be something I would want my dd go through on a regular basis. How about talking to the coach to express your concerns of how this just promots low self esteem. How about after a meet girls choose one goal to try and complete by the next meet. Like if they dodn't have alot of pointed toes then they will work on keeping toes pointed. Then the girls are part of the solution.

 

[GymCoach11]

Thankfully no. As a coach the thought of doing that makes me feel ugh so uncomfortable, the only thing that does is add pressure and embarrass others.

 

[Gymmommy71]

That's awful...gosh, sounds like there is a lot of mean gyms out there (there's another thread going about overly intense conditioning following bad meet performances ). Like another poster said, placements often are just a matter of what other teams are there, how they break down the ages, etc. They really should be paying attention to scores more than anything - and there is also the factor of the individual girls' strengths and weaknesses...like an 8 on bars for a good bar worker is disappointing, but for a girl who is weak on that event it is great...even if they don't medal. Sometimes I wonder if these gyms are using this unnecessary mean-ness as a psychological weeding-out tool...like they are just testing the girls at the younger levels to make sure they are the type that can handle the pressure of the higher levels.

 

[LizzieLac]

No place for it.

 

[AlexsGymmyMom]

What? That is just awful! I cannot imaging purposely making someone feel that way. Do they not think that they already feel bad enough? I would have to reconsider the gym that my child was at if they treated the kids that did not place that way.

 

[Flossyduck]

That sounds horrible. At our gym all the girls who have competed at a competition are included in any successes - all included in the photo and everyone mentioned in the competition report. The coaches always managed to find positive things to say about every girl in the summary. The medalists aren't singled out for special treatment and a big well done is given all around.

In my opinion that's as it should be. Competition should not be something to fear and the gym should be somewhere you feel supported no matter what.

 

[shelovestoflip]

Honestly, if my daughter came home and told me that, I'd have her out of there in a heartbeat! You should feel safe in your gym. Your teammates and coaches should support you!

 

[kayjaybe]

I don't think any of the girls like doing it either...even when they win. They don't want their friends who may not have had a good meet to feel bad either.

Honestly, it is a good gym, but this is one thing I've always questioned. I thought that perhaps there was a motivating reason to do it that others might know of. I've seen other threads on here talking about things that I've thought "why the heck does the gym do that" and there is a great explanation given by a coach or owner here. I was wondering if this might be the same thing. But I have yet to see anyone on this thread that thinks it is a good idea.

I think I'll set up a time to speak with the head coach about this. He is a great guy and really good with the kids, so I'm quite surprised that he finds this to be a good idea when it doesn't seem to be the norm.

 

[Quadqueen]

Add me to your growing list of people who think this is just plain awful.

 

[cbifoja]

Bella is one of six. They don't need public announcement of their placement because they each know how the others did. I don't get public bragging nor public humiliation. The only thing we do with meet scores in the gym is every girl at the gym has a big star with their name on it. If they get a 9.0, they get a certain color of star and if they get a 9.5, they get a special star. That's it. No public show or denouncement.

 

[gymmomtoo]

No, thank god! That is terrible. I would complain--bad enough the girls know they didn't medal, but to have it all out there is awful

 

[Krystan]

This is pretty bad, IMO. There are a couple of other threads right now about how to handle poor performance at meets, and you'll see similar comments. Successes can be celebrated, but to shame those who don't "win" is very de-motivating and can even make others feel guilty for winning.

Additionally, I don't understand this obsession with "placement" instead of meeting individual goals and actual performance. Gymnastics is one of those sports where you can't control the performance of your competition, only your own, so it seems silly to get wrapped up in it. My dd's coach will point out to them when, although they're not placing, their performance might be much better than it was at a previous meet where they might have won (if that makes sense). Instead of saying at the next practice, "so-and-so won third place on beam" they could say "so-and-so held her handstand longer than 2 seconds, a goal she's been working toward, etc".