Parents How to handle competitive gym moms

[kipkando]

How do you handle Gym Moms who you thought were your friends?

 

[guest301]

i never were in this setuation but in my opinion those people just gave up being strong under stress of being cometitive gymnast moms. you need to be strong in spirit to be a gymnast and you need to be strong to be gymnast's mom. so its sad people go wrong way with it.

 

[monkeysmom]

I would probably invite them to do something not gymnastics related and have some fun. They probably are still my friend, but if they are in a phase where they are being a little too focused on the competitive gymastics thing, I would just try to steer the conversation to something else (hey as their friend a distraction from gymnastics is good for them and me too--win, win). Or just go for a walk together sometime during practice. I would NOT do some big confrontation about how I think they are going crazy over the gymnastics. I would just talk about other things. If they want to vent a little about gymnastics some, just smile and nod. At least you're getting some exercize while they go on.... Same thing goes for recent ex husband/boyfriend talk. Many things in female friendships can be solved by focusing mostly on how to BE a good friend, and forgetting about how to change anyone else, that just doesn't work, at least for me. I have lots of different types of friends, some we mainly talk about kids. Some (usually my preparent friends) have nights with me where we are banned from discussing kids for some of the evening. Some talk too much, so I like to spend at least half our time going to movies where they are quiet.... And I like movies. And I talk too much too sometimes. So it works both ways. I have some friends (including my sister) who I won't talk politics with because they just preach and don't discuss. I have some friends with whom I try not to discuss, GASP, gymnastics...... Seems to work for me anyway.

 

[kipkando]

Thanks monkeysmom. I appreciate the advise. They are mad at the situation at our gym, not me, they say. I feel like our friendship is in jeopardy because my daughter got a special opportunity presented to her and I let her do it.

 

[krisnkids]

I had a similar situation at our old gym. My dd repeated level 4, two of the newby level 4 moms would gossip amongst themselves about how my dd got extra attention (she was working kips, front handsprings, back walkovers etc when theirs were still working level 4 stuff). While my dd didn't get extra attention, just different attention, it didn't look like that to newby moms. There really isn't much I could do about it to change their minds, anything I said would be taken with the thought of well she doesn't have an objective opinion. The best thing to do is to talk about neutral topics; ie school, weather, family etc.

 

[my4buffaloes]

Your second post sums up what happened to me. My daughter got an opportunity to participate in something because my other was invited to do it. Certain people were furious at me. Finally after a week of the cold shoulder I talked to one of them and said "you would have taken advantage of the opportunity too, if it had come your way" She readily admitted she would have and from then on wasn't mad at me anymore, just the gym LOL.

 

[kipkando]

Thanks my4 buffaloes and krisnkids. It is very encouraging that these things too shall pass with time. I have decided to take the high road when it comes to gossip anymore. I want my DD to have fun at the gym, not be privy to petty parents.