How to know if your daughter should continue

[kasmom]

My daughter is 7.5 years old and in level 4. She has had most of her level 4 skills for some time now, but not with good form. She has been doing her routines for 3 months with little to no improvement. I am so frustrated and don't know what to do. I have talked to her coach who says not to worry about it. She had her first level 4 meet this weekend and her scores were really low. She scored between 7-7.7 on floor, beam, and bars, and 8.35 on vault. She still loves gymnastics. How do you know how long to let your child continue? I hate spending all that money, and she never seems to get any better. My daughter is small (47 lbs), but extemely strong and flexible. She is a great tumbler. She can do her round-off back handspring, back tuck with good form. It's the little things that she has trouble with. She can't do a good split leap and actually all her jumps and leaps look terrible. She also has trouble with her turn on beam and does not understand how to stay tight.

 

[bogwoppit]

Lots of girls do not do well in compulsories, scoring is harsh and many girls just do not shine. HOwever I don't think your DD's scores are bad at all, I thinkit is more significant that she is enjoying gym and you are not!

YOu probably have two choices, to let her continue on her path as long as she is enjoying her journey, or you could pull her out of gym to try other things.

What was your reason for putting her in gym in the first place? I will assume it is because you wanted her to be active and to enjoy herself, well those two goals have been met. Were there any other reasons you put her in gym? If so what are they and have they been met?

I think when girls start to compete and parents start to compare their kids to other kids it is very easy to get confused about why our kids do sports. Letting go of placements is a good thing! HOw about you watch and see if her scores improve over the season, many girls are not doing their best routines at their first meet, but after they have a few under their belt things are looking very different,

As long as she is having fun and staying fit I think she is fine. SOme of the intricacies of routines come to certain kids later than others, staying tight is a big challenge for many girls.

However, if you thnk the gym is doing a poor job of coaching, that is a whole other topic.

 

[kasmom]

I think you hit the nail on the head in your last sentence. I have actually stayed and watched many of the practices. She has been doing the skills longer than the other girls so she is shoved to the side to work by herself with no input from the coach. I'm not comparing my daughters placement or scores to any of the other girls. She did the best of all the girls on our team. I'm frustrated because she is not getting better. This is not her first time to compete. She competed level 2 last year. And, last year her scores never improved. She scored the same the first and last meet. AA 36.7

 

[bogwoppit]

Then it's time for a chat with the coach. Saying that your DD is asking for more input on her skills is a great way to start the conversation. If you have no luck you may find yourself looking for a new gym.

YOur DD should not be working alone at her age.

 

[kasmom]

I have already talked to him several times. There are no other gyms. Our coach knows that. I've heard him say if you don't like it here don't let the door hit you on the way out. He does love my daughter. He tells me how talented she is all the time. I think our coach is burned out (my opinion). We only have one coach/owner who coaches everything. We have competitive cheer, also. He is more worried about our level 5/6 cheer teams than he is our gymnastics team. I know that she probably will be lucky to ever make it to optionals at the gym we are at, but I would really like her to be the best level 4 she can be this year. It's just so discouraging. I know that I will not make her quit. She loves it too much. I have tried to get other gyms that are 2 hours away to do privates with her on Saturdays some. They won't because they say it's a conflict of interest. I've also asked her coach for privates, but he says she doesn't need them.

 

[AlexsGymmyMom]

I agree with Bog that your DD should not be working alone at her age. That is something I would address with her coach. Also, it sounds like your DD had an excellent Level 2 year as any 36 AA is something to be VERY proud of! It would be hard to improve alot if you started the season getting 36's. Maybe make some different goals for your DD at meets rather than focusing on scores . Like a goal of keeping tight on a specific skill on each event? This way she can then see how these things equate to better gymnastics and higher scores? She is only 7.5 and has plenty of time to work on her form. As long as she is enjoying it and is happy keep her in! Keep us posted on her meets and progress!!

 

[kasmom]

Thanks for all of your input. I have to remember that this is a fun extracurricular activity and nothing more. As long as she's having fun, we'll keep at it. She is still young. Who knows what she will be into in a couple of years.

 

[gymjourneymom]

Great advice as usual Bog! I think a talk with the coach to express your concerns is justified. Sounds like there are some training issues involved here. But as we all know, no gym is perfect. If you have no other options & this coach is ok with her progress, I'd let her continue, at least for now. If she is happy & you pull her out because of perceived 'lack of progress' I think she would have good reason to resent it. Let her do her thing. As she matures she may train differently & improve or she may tell you she's ready to hang it up her grips. She is young, give her a chance to see this through for herself. As long as she's happy I'd let her be for now. Enjoy each day for what it is!

Also, as far as splits & leaps, these are things my DD still struggles with everyday. She has very strong muscular legs, very powerful for tumbling & vaulting... not so flexible for splits & leaps though. There's ALWAYS something to work on in this sport.

 

[gymdog]

I'm just going to be brutally honest and say I think you have unreasonable expectations per the info in the first post. This isn't really your fault because it is difficult to really get a sense of gymnastics when you're new to it. But I'd like to add my own perspective. This is a 7 year old child and it's been 3 months of doing the routines. It takes more than three months to get significant improvement, particularly from a young child. She probably does not need private lessons unless she is not progressing skill-wise. The routines are another story and take awhile to perfect. MANY kids this age struggle with the coordination and fine tuning of the leaps and jumps and turns. That is not uncommon at all. I know MANY high level gymnasts who could tumble as youngsters but received low scores in L4 and 5 due to their overall performance deficits.

The high 36 AA in L2 is another non-issue. I'd forget about it. L2's not a major competitive level, and that's an extremely high score that wouldn't leave much room for improvement anyway. Most gyms don't focus on or push L2. The overwhelming majority don't compete it at all.

Now if she is not getting adequate coaching that IS an issue. However she is progressing skillwise so I guess I'd need more information to really comment on that. What you see as being shoved aside may be more like her doing drills and practice for more advanced skills, and that isn't necessarily uncommon.

What you need to evaluate is 1. is it safe? Obviously safety is the priority so if in your best judgement it appears to be dangerous, don't pass go. If you do judge this side work to be skills she is capable of doing without spotting (there should still be supervision, i.e. she is in the coach's line of sight), then you have to ask whether she is enjoying herself and experiencing some personal growth through gymnastics (social, physical, work ethic, etc).

Just progressing skill-wise is somewhat important in that no progression would be demoralizing (thought it sounds like they're taking steps to keep her active and not just doing things that are too easy), but there's more than straight skill progression and in the end when she leaves gymnastics, what matters more? The hardest skills she can do or what she learned getting there?

You could pull her out now, and if you don't want to make the commitment anymore then you have to decide that as a parent before resentment creeps in. However if you're asking whether it's worth it for her, well you said she loves it, so I'd say there's your answer. If she loves it and wants to do it, she'll improve. It will probably take a long time, maybe even years. That's gymnastics. If you're concerned about her performance of the dance elements you might consider a ballet class.

 

[kasmom]

Thanks... You guys are really good at putting things in perspective. I can't put her in a ballet class since there are not any in our area, but that was a great suggestion. This is just one of the drawbacks of living in a small rural area. Thanks guys! You've been a great help.

 

[gymdog]

Thanks... You guys are really good at putting things in perspective. I can't put her in a ballet class since there are not any in our area, but that was a great suggestion. This is just one of the drawbacks of living in a small rural area. Thanks guys! You've been a great help.

Ah, well. I wouldn't worry much about it. She will improve on those "detail" things as she ages from simple maturity. It takes a lot to just remember the routines and put the correct movement in the sequence. As well I think people are biased because certain youtube channels are very visible and they think all kids look that good. Let me tell you, most L4s look like L4s - even very physically talented ones. It is rare to have a kid who has the power, flexibility, and grace. Some of those who do actually lack the power to some extent and have trouble progressing past L6. But I would just take each season as it comes and keep in mind they train to peak at the end of the season and need some time of just doing the routines in the correct sequence in order to then move on to perfecting them.

 

[UnoMas]

Hi there

You have gotten some great advice and I have taken a lot of it to heart.

I also have a young L4 gymmie and she too is struggling. She can "do" all her skills except bars but she has huge problems with form and with the details of the dance elements in floor and beam. She is also very inconsistent across days and across coaches. My DD is by no means super talented and we have a couple super talented tiny gymmies at our gym and sometimes it is hard to judge...should she continue? Is all the time and money spent worth it???

But my daughter loves it too...like your daughter. I really needed to read this post today...so thanks for asking the question that's been on my mind too! Keeping in mind that it is NOT all about scores and performances especially in very young gymmies is one of those things that I need to be frequently reminded of.

I hope your DD has many more happy years in the sport. And, in my humble non-coach opinion, 3 months is NOTHING in terms of learning the routines detail-perfect. My older daughter competed for 14 months in L4 at age 8-9 and it was only towards the end of that 14 months where she had the details! Your DD will get it. It is great that she is so happy and loving a sport that is SO tough and SO beneficial!

We need to give our lil' gymmies a pat on the back for just being out there every day!

 

[mariposa]

I agree with everyone else. She is only 7. The little things take time to learn. Most kids struggle with them and they improve slowly as the season goes by, of course there are kids that just "get it", but not the majority, especially not young ones.

She is happy, that is your answer, though I think you already figured that out. Hope she keeps having fun at meets. My DD started out level 4 with a 27AA (scored 5, 6, and 2 7s) and ended that first year (age 6) at a 32AA. When she started her 2nd year of level 4, she started at 33AA and got to mid 36 by end of the year. It took her a long time to figure it all out and put it together. But she was happy and smiled at meets and that is priceless!

And each level it starts again (for most kids), they have to learn all the little details for that level and they start somewhere and usually improve as the season goes by. As long as they are happy and progressing (even if it is slowly!), it is all good.

 

[NotAMom]

Let me type this before I read all the other comments. Sorry for sounding mean in advance.

Your daughter is a 7yo competing L4 for the first time. So, what's the issue here? Much of the improvement that you're expecting WILL come in time with experience and maturity. I'm sure you've heard the sprint vs. marathon saying that gets said a lot around here.

In a much kinder way, please be patient with her performance and progress. She is doing great. Unless you really doubt gymnastics is the sport for her (or for your situation), please get the "should I keep her in?" thought out of your head. Sadly those thoughts do often surface as your gymmie moves up the rank and as she gets older.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

My daughter is 7.5 years old and in level 4. She has had most of her level 4 skills for some time now, but not with good form. She has been doing her routines for 3 months with little to no improvement. I am so frustrated and don't know what to do. I have talked to her coach who says not to worry about it. She had her first level 4 meet this weekend and her scores were really low. She scored between 7-7.7 on floor, beam, and bars, and 8.35 on vault. She still loves gymnastics. How do you know how long to let your child continue? I hate spending all that money, and she never seems to get any better. My daughter is small (47 lbs), but extemely strong and flexible. She is a great tumbler. She can do her round-off back handspring, back tuck with good form. It's the little things that she has trouble with. She can't do a good split leap and actually all her jumps and leaps look terrible. She also has trouble with her turn on beam and does not understand how to stay tight.

take a step back...

 

[NewtoGym]

Good responses everyone! I can see how easy it is to get sucked into the whole competitive spirit and wondering if it is worthwhile for your child to continue when they aren't immediately a stand out - especially when you see some that are! BUT...as many wiser have said before me, just sit down, put your seatbelt on and enjoy the ride! I am also pulling back and trying to enjoy my daughter's progress and all the fun she is having in the sport and trying not to get caught up in the scores, competition, etc. When I find myself critiquing my daughter's gymnastics in my head, I think to myself "ok, try to do better yourself!" Since I was never a gymnast, I find doing a perfect handstand with pointed toes and perfect body positioning suddenly not that easy. LOL. These are just little girls (practically babies!) Let's let them have fun and enjoy. I know I am going to try to.

 

[kasmom]

Thanks for the advice. Everyone has really helped. Her coach actually called me this morning to tell me he couldn't believe how poorly she did at the meet. (I couldn't believe it!) He said that he is going to work with her a lot before the next meet. Hopefully, now she will receive more attention in class. She is very mature for her age, and I think sometimes the coach forgets she is 7. He sometimes expects her to get the details on her own.

 

[Gymdad2]

I'm sure you've heard the sprint vs. marathon saying that gets said a lot around here.

Notamom,

Thanks for reminding our beginning gym parents of this fact. I learned this lesson many years ago and it has been my mantra ever since. Being a gym parent requires endless patience and we have to learn that the money we are spending (and there's a lot of that) is not for medals or trophies or placements but for the physical, mental and social development that it is teaching out dds. We parents must always remember whose sport this is, and as long at they love doing it, that should be enough for us.

 

[kristilyn73]

You are getting Great advice from some really experienced parents on this board. IMO.

My DD was 8 when she competing L5 for the first time. She got a 28 AA and DH and I were Thrilled.. we were worried she would get a 20! She is now 15 and will most likely compete L9 this season. She still struggles with form on some skills. But I learned long ago with My DD, it was about learning new things. If she had stayed in a level for 3 years to score in the 37's, she would have quit the sport years ago. She likes the challenge of learning new Skills.

Each gymmie's path is different, I know other girls in our gym that would rather stay at a level and be on top of the podium each meet.

is your DD happy? does she like her coaches and gym? Was she satisfied with her meet? I think if you say yes to all those questions you have nothing to worry about.

 

[nettyinpa]

You say there's only one coach for all the teams? How many girls are there? Sounds to me like they need to hire another gymnastics coach or 2. I hope he's true to his word and works with her but where does that leave the rest of her team? Maybe they're in the process of looking for another coach, I don't know, but it doesn't sound safe to me. She is still young and if she's happy, let her stay.