Parents Injury Hiders

[cbifoja]

For any parent who has a kid who hides injuries and also for any coaches with advice/opinion/experiences, etc.....

How do you counteract a kid who will hide being hurt because she doesn't want to miss training? If you have strategies/stories, please share!

I've talked and explained until I'm blue in the face! I can't seem to get across to my child that hiding injuries only makes things worse. So far, it's been little things...pulled muscles, a sprained finger. Nothing that I can actually visually determine and nothing that is heavily impacting her training. (Yeah, the finger was a problem on bars but even with that, she allowed her coach to think that she had lost her clear hip rather than admit her grip wasn't strong enough for those few days.)

My worry is that she is getting into a bad habit of hiding these small issues that will carry over to trying to hide bigger ones. I know that she will eventually get injured. I've told her time and time again that it's a matter of when, not if. Of course, part of being her mother means I have an IQ just below a turnip so obviously I don't know what I'm talking about.

She has really internalized her reputation at the gym as the "tough" one. It is becoming part of her self-identity and I think this is a dangerous road to go down. I like the trait in moderation but as with anything, when taken to extreme it is not a good thing.

How can I get her to understand that tough does NOT equal impervious and that injury does NOT equal weak?????

 

[wallflower]

It could be that she isn't purposefully hiding things, but just isn't that bothered by them because she has a high pain tolerance. My child is that way. She tells me when things really hurt, but a lot of things that she should tell me or her coach she says nothing because to her it's no big deal. I don't know if your child is this way, but mine is very undramatic unlike a lot of girls in her gym and she doesn't like to be the center of attention. So unless something is really a big deal she is not going to call attention to herself. This is not just gym, it's just her personality in general.

 

[skschlag]

My son is very much like this. He doesn't really "hide" the injury but just doesn't think it is a big deal. The benefit to this, is that we know when he is really hurt (like now). Because he doesn't complain about everything, we know when it is serious. That is a benefit. I have to watch him for clues of nagging injuries. He will shake his wrist after pommel or Pbars if it is hurting and he thinks no one is watching. It is subtle but there. You will learn to pick up on it.

 

[Gymmom495]

There is a gymnast that is very close to my daughter who does this exact thing. She has been hurt for almost a week now, something with her foot (heel to be exact) this gymnast is very tough and is very good so when she shows up with her foot taped up and she's limping without putting weight on her heel it causes me to worry. She says that she's fine and blows it off, going out to start her workout. I can see that once she's in front of the coaches she is trying her hardest to act normal and put pressure on it. I can tell the coaches ask her about it since it's wrapped, and I can see them gesturing to her foot. I of course can't hear what is being said but figure they at least inquired about it. She struggled through practice until the coaches realized she was favoring the unwrapped foot. They told her to stay off it and condition doing leg lifts and scissor kicks, etc... Once her parents came to pick her up I told them that I thought she may have hurt her foot, they looked for her on the floor then called her over. The coach noticed them so came over too. The conversation was right in front of me (kind of awkward, but we are close) the coaches asked about her foot and wanted to know what was wrong since they were concerned that she wasn't putting pressure on it. They told the coach that she was fine and it was all in her head, her foot will be unwrapped by the next day. The coach seemed a bit taken back.
After gym they told her that coming to this gym was a great opportunity and not to blow it. She was crying a little trying to tell them she was in pain but they just kept telling her to deal with it. The next day she waited for them to leave then wrapped her own foot but was doing everything she could to work on it.
Bottom line after all of that.., sometimes I think girls and sometimes parents push through injuries that could make things way worse. To me it's not worth it to make a small injury something that could lead to a career lasting problem. My daughters health is #1. Girls will heal pretty fast, they are young and healthy so they bounce back quickly they have to remember that.

 

[GymMomK]

My daughter is the same. She doesn't like to 'whine' as she calls it. She's the tough one and never complains. She doesn't like to cry in front of people (other than me), always wants to appear 'normal'. She 'hid' a leg injury from everyone through states and regionals. She finally broke down and told us about the pain. Said she thought she could work through it. We've decided that its best now to take some time off (a week) and it's killing her.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

you just let her know that the time will come that if she "hides" the fact that she is hurt, it might be career ending had she notified someone sooner. let her know then that it won't be a week off. that it might be FOREVER. and forever means final.

 

[gymmomof1]

There is a gymnast that is very close to my daughter who does this exact thing. She has been hurt for almost a week now, something with her foot (heel to be exact) this gymnast is very tough and is very good so when she shows up with her foot taped up and she's limping without putting weight on her heel it causes me to worry. She says that she's fine and blows it off, going out to start her workout. I can see that once she's in front of the coaches she is trying her hardest to act normal and put pressure on it. I can tell the coaches ask her about it since it's wrapped, and I can see them gesturing to her foot. I of course can't hear what is being said but figure they at least inquired about it. She struggled through practice until the coaches realized she was favoring the unwrapped foot. They told her to stay off it and condition doing leg lifts and scissor kicks, etc... Once her parents came to pick her up I told them that I thought she may have hurt her foot, they looked for her on the floor then called her over. The coach noticed them so came over too. The conversation was right in front of me (kind of awkward, but we are close) the coaches asked about her foot and wanted to know what was wrong since they were concerned that she wasn't putting pressure on it. They told the coach that she was fine and it was all in her head, her foot will be unwrapped by the next day. The coach seemed a bit taken back.
After gym they told her that coming to this gym was a great opportunity and not to blow it. She was crying a little trying to tell them she was in pain but they just kept telling her to deal with it. The next day she waited for them to leave then wrapped her own foot but was doing everything she could to work on it.
Bottom line after all of that.., sometimes I think girls and sometimes parents push through injuries that could make things way worse. To me it's not worth it to make a small injury something that could lead to a career lasting problem. My daughters health is #1. Girls will heal pretty fast, they are young and healthy so they bounce back quickly they have to remember that.

This concerns me because of what dds team mate is going through. She is a powerful gymnast with high tolerance for pain and her heels were bothering her even before she came to dds gym this year. Dr thought it was severs but mid completion season it got so bad her parents took her for Mri. Turns out she had a few fractures possibly for over a year!!!. Now shes been in a boot for 10-12 weeks. Feel free to share this with your dds teamates mom. Its always best to get it checked out- and hopefully she will before something happens.

 

[Gymmom495]

Gymmomof1- thank you so much for that info. I will share that. I care about her as if she were my own and it hurts me to see her in pain. I know that there will be a reasonable amount of pain these gymnasts will have to endure and work through but when you see them act in a completely different manner, it breaks your heart because there is not much I can do for her other than try to talk her and her parents into getting it looked at. Hopefully they do. Thank you for the advice, this is why I love this site!!

 

[Aussie_coach]

It's not nessesarily that case that she will get injured one day. Lots of gymnasts go through their entire careers with no more serious injuries than pulled muscles and stained fingers.

Just make sure her coach is aware of the issue, the coach should then be able to,recognise when something is not quite right with her in training.

Its not likely that her body will let her train through severe pain. Generally if the I jury is causing her enough discomfort she will speak up.

 

[BlairBob]

I call them out on it and either take them off the event to do something else or send them home.

You shall not try to sneak one past me. Would you do the samething to GOD?

They are wasting my time and theirs. No bueno.

 

[B&M's mom]

As a parent of a child who suffered a serious injury at a meet on her first event, hid it and competed on it, I understand the concern. I'm not sure there's a real answer or at least I haven't come with it. My daughter's reaction when I called her out on it was "you have to push through the pain." I get that for minor injuries but this wasn't minor. She and I have had several long talks about aggravating/worsening injuries by continuing to train on them. I'm not entirely convinced that she agrees. We've talked about gymanstics ending injureis but she feels invincible. I've also talked with the coaches about keeping a closer eye on her because of this. But there's only so much they can do.

So I keep my fingers crossed and watch her like a hawk.

 

[emilykatherine]

I'm know as the tough one at my gym.... My ankle a jacked up (torn ligaments and achilles tendonitis, and I've broken the growth plate in the left one) and I made it half way through the season before I broke down and didn't want to compete. I didn't tell anyone for a really long time and it made it tons worse so finally I made myself sick thinking about trying to make it through the season, my mom told my coach and when I went back to practice( after missing a day on a meet week! Not me I never miss) she treated me like a little kid and had to make sure I was fine after everything I did, now she can tell if I'm in pain by looking in my eyes, but because of the pain i want to become a specialist so I won't have to do vault( and bars but that's cause I'm awful and tall so I don't get to train like everyone) so just explain to her that she should hide it cause it can cause her to have to retire and/or not get to do every event.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

yikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[iwannacoach]

I have a narrow, well defined set of parameters for kids who want to train on injuries........ never, unless a sports based doctor has taken ex-rays and determined there would be little risk of long term consequences. Little risk...... what's that? It's about the same amount of risk as being hit by something falling out of the sky...... after being dropped by a flying pig.

Tell your kids to be honest with their coaches, and tell other parents to respect their child..... if you have thick skin and that's what they need to hear.