Parents Becoming a top gymnast after getting a late start

[kipkiphooray]

Would appreciate perspective and advice - whether it be actual guidance or to or talk sense into me! and apologies for the length of this.

My central question is whether it is realistic for a 9 year old L4 to get to D1 down the road? (I would say Elite, too, but college level is aiming plenty high enough for the purpose of this post)

I don’t mean is it “possible”, I'm asking if it is a goal that is genuinely attainable? - generally speaking, since I get that there a million variables.

I know this is a bit of an opaque and loaded question...more about why I am asking:

My 9 yo daughter is moving up to L4, and only just started JO in L3 last season. She loves this sport. It is her passion - and has been going back even before she started JO - and SHE wants to be great. Kids can be fickle and we've been mindful to see whether this is all just a phase. It is not a phase. She's only nine but she is now old enough to know what makes her happy and to set goals. She proactively talks about wanting to be a college or elite gymnast, and so far has been willing to take any opportunity to improve that she's been given - and asks about wanting more training. She’s found her “thing”.

However:

To help her I've been trying to educate myself about the sport and along the way I’ve learned enough to understand how incredibly competitive this sport is and how far behind she is compared to the best kids her age.

For example -

All things considered she did incredibly well in L3. As of last August she had never competed in a gymnastics meet in her life. Then she consistently placed at every meet including at State. With this perspective in mind we were SO happy for her and she was very proud, as she should be. And she seems to already be getting her L4 routines down.

But then...we’ll watch videos of 9 year old level 8s who started formal training when they were 4, or look at things like TOPs testing requirements, or look at the credentials/progression of college recruits - and it is clear she is well off the pace. I usually wouldn’t over Index on comparing to other kids. But in this case it really is the benchmark, and a reality check.

So, I regret not starting her sooner. I don't have many legitimate “regrets”…but this is one.

We intentionally held off on getting too serious about gym (or any sport) at a younger age. We emphasized trying different activities and having fun, believing we were doing the right thing and that this would be best for her overall development and health in the long run. She's been in gymnastics "classes" going back to age 3 but it was all recreational until recently.

But now because of this, in my worst moments I can’t help but feel that by not putting her in a position to be competitive earlier I’ve let my daughter down and ruined (or at least severely handicapped) her chances of achieving her dream before she ever really got started. I wish I could turn back the clock.

^^^^^^^ Doing some soul searching, the point above is probably at the core of why I am posting this in the first place. My wife and I just want to enable our kid and give her the opportunity to succeed, and I know that I feel like we may have unintentionally screwed that up while thinking we were doing the right thing.

A bit more about her specific situation:

• I would not say she is some diamond in the rough prodigious talent, but she does genuinely have talent and ability
• Her coaches agree she has potential (at least enough to tell us “she has potential” lol)
• She is a fast learner who has picked up skills quickly so far, perhaps partially because she is a little bit older than some of the other kids. This is helping her play “catch up” a little
• Perhaps her best asset, IMO, that may serve her in this case is that she has drive, focus and resilience - in training and at meets. We aren’t pushing her to do any of this, it’s all her. This may be what has impressed me the most and cemented that she is serious about this sport. She seems to mean business.

So going back to the original question and after this diary entry of a post...I am not looking for blind optimism here at all. But would really value perspective from people here who have more experience and have been through this.

What advice would you have?

This is definitely a topic we plan to discuss more with her coaches too, but curious to get other perspective too.

Thanks. and if nothing else it has made me feel better to write all of this out, ha!

 

[RTT2]

You haven't ruined anything for your daughter and she isn't too old to go on and have many great years of competitive gymnastics. No one here can say if she'll make it to college gymnastics or not-- there are way too many factors to try and guess the path a 9 year old will take. Here's the thing- almost every kid who starts out in DP gymnastics and sticks with it for a while loves it more than anything. It's also easy in elementary school to have gymnastics as the major focus- there isn't much going on socially, school is still pretty chill, and the compulsory hours generally aren't crazy. It gets harder as they move up the levels and a lot of girls end up leaving either due to injuries (which no one can predict ahead of time), burnout, difficulty in getting upper level skills, desire to try other things, struggling with keeping up in school while training high hours and missing school frequently for meets. It's a hard road. Your daughter may very well stick with the sport and make it onto a college team, or she may decide to move on in a few years, even though that seems impossible to imagine now. The best things you can do as a parent are make sure she is in a quality program- good coaching, and a positive environment, get her to practice on time, make sure she's getting enough sleep and fueling properly, and then just enjoy the ride. Have fun cheering her on in the early levels before every event becomes scary to watch. Don't compare her to other girls. Don't get too carried away if she's always at the top of the podium in the early levels and don't worry if she's not at the top of the podium. Just celebrate her hard work either way.

 

[mezzamare]

I understand so much of what you've written, if only because my daughter started with a Level 1 rec class when she had just turned 9, and she didn't even compete L4 until she was 11. She did years of dance and swim before she turned 9, none of which she particularly loved. As it turned out, she loved gymnastics and is pretty good at it (nothing exceptional, but very good). It's very easy to turn around and say "oh, if only", and engage in shouldacouldawoulda type thinking that really gets you nowhere in the long run.

She just competed a very successful Level 7 season, and while her goal of reaching L10 and someday competing at the college level seems like it's getting closer, the closer she gets the farther away the goal can seem, ironically. There is so much that happens along the way to Level 10... growth spurts, changing interests, injuries, coach changes, topping out, the exponential growth in the difficulty of the skills needed to move up each level. From the vantage point of compulsory, the road can look very straightforward and clearcut, but as you start trundling along and actually walking the path, you see it has a lot of ups and downs, lots of stumbling blocks, and lots of offramps along the way. Nothing is certain, and eventually you start to take each milestone, each season, even each day as it comes.

All that is a long way of saying not to bury yourself in regret or ruing anything. When people here say that this is a marathon, believe them. You don't start a marathon regretting that you didn't start training as a runner years before you did... you take on the challenge, do your best to prepare, go into it with whatever you can bring, then run the race. What came before is immaterial once you start

If you really want to dig into the statistical probabilities of your daughter's chances, there is information out there (and on here, especially in a post I made last summer on who is getting onto college teams). Those are brute force numbers with no context, which is a drawback, but it can give you some idea of the career histories of girls who are currently competing. The hard truth is that the later an athlete reaches L10, the lower the statistical probability of them getting onto a D1 team, but nothing is impossible and there are exceptions to every rule... which is why if anyone gives you a hard and fast answer as to her chances, I suggest you ignore it. There's just too many variables to account for, and no one can predict the future.

In the end, you have to just accept past decisions, and do your best to support your daughter each step that she chooses to take along this path. Like RTT2 said, there are limited things under your control... focus on those things, and let the rest settle on its own. Don't torture yourself unnecessarily... save that bandwidth for what lies ahead.

 

[kipkiphooray]

You haven't ruined anything for your daughter and she isn't too old to go on and have many great years of competitive gymnastics. No one here can say if she'll make it to college gymnastics or not-- there are way too many factors to try and guess the path a 9 year old will take. Here's the thing- almost every kid who starts out in DP gymnastics and sticks with it for a while loves it more than anything. It's also easy in elementary school to have gymnastics as the major focus- there isn't much going on socially, school is still pretty chill, and the compulsory hours generally aren't crazy. It gets harder as they move up the levels and a lot of girls end up leaving either due to injuries (which no one can predict ahead of time), burnout, difficulty in getting upper level skills, desire to try other things, struggling with keeping up in school while training high hours and missing school frequently for meets. It's a hard road. Your daughter may very well stick with the sport and make it onto a college team, or she may decide to move on in a few years, even though that seems impossible to imagine now. The best things you can do as a parent are make sure she is in a quality program- good coaching, and a positive environment, get her to practice on time, make sure she's getting enough sleep and fueling properly, and then just enjoy the ride. Have fun cheering her on in the early levels before every event becomes scary to watch. Don't compare her to other girls. Don't get too carried away if she's always at the top of the podium in the early levels and don't worry if she's not at the top of the podium. Just celebrate her hard work either way.

Thank you for the reply. All very good and helpful advice. I do 100% understand no one can say whether or not my child will make it to the college level. Was more looking for thoughts on general precedent. I get that it will be a challenge and there are no guarantees.

Something I left out of my original post, because it didn't feel relevant, is that I was a D1 athlete in soccer (a lifetime ago!). And so even though the sports are very different I can relate to how challenging it is to get to that level - and especially when you wrote about how things get harder as they get older and often for reasons that are outside of the sport itself: school, social, other interests, etc. I think there is probably truth to this for any kid trying to achieve a high level in just about any sport. I remember that I really struggled to keep it all together between 16-17 in particular.

Who knows, 4 years from now she may very well decide she's had enough, and that would be a-ok. What's messing with my head is that in order to have any chance of making it we/she need to plan now as though she's all-in for the long haul. It is tough. I guess we'll see what her coaches think about her goals, make a "plan", and then from there try to enjoy the ride! Thanks again.

 

[kipkiphooray]

I understand so much of what you've written, if only because my daughter started with a Level 1 rec class when she had just turned 9, and she didn't even compete L4 until she was 11. She did years of dance and swim before she turned 9, none of which she particularly loved. As it turned out, she loved gymnastics and is pretty good at it (nothing exceptional, but very good). It's very easy to turn around and say "oh, if only", and engage in shouldacouldawoulda type thinking that really gets you nowhere in the long run.

She just competed a very successful Level 7 season, and while her goal of reaching L10 and someday competing at the college level seems like it's getting closer, the closer she gets the farther away the goal can seem, ironically. There is so much that happens along the way to Level 10... growth spurts, changing interests, injuries, coach changes, topping out, the exponential growth in the difficulty of the skills needed to move up each level. From the vantage point of compulsory, the road can look very straightforward and clearcut, but as you start trundling along and actually walking the path, you see it has a lot of ups and downs, lots of stumbling blocks, and lots of offramps along the way. Nothing is certain, and eventually you start to take each milestone, each season, even each day as it comes.

All that is a long way of saying not to bury yourself in regret or ruing anything. When people here say that this is a marathon, believe them. You don't start a marathon regretting that you didn't start training as a runner years before you did... you take on the challenge, do your best to prepare, go into it with whatever you can bring, then run the race. What came before is immaterial once you start

If you really want to dig into the statistical probabilities of your daughter's chances, there is information out there (and on here, especially in a post I made last summer on who is getting onto college teams). Those are brute force numbers with no context, which is a drawback, but it can give you some idea of the career histories of girls who are currently competing. The hard truth is that the later an athlete reaches L10, the lower the statistical probability of them getting onto a D1 team, but nothing is impossible and there are exceptions to every rule... which is why if anyone gives you a hard and fast answer as to her chances, I suggest you ignore it. There's just too many variables to account for, and no one can predict the future.

In the end, you have to just accept past decisions, and do your best to support your daughter each step that she chooses to take along this path. Like RTT2 said, there are limited things under your control... focus on those things, and let the rest settle on its own. Don't torture yourself unnecessarily... save that bandwidth for what lies ahead.

Thank you so much for this. I went looking for your old post from last summer and found it. Haven't gotten through it all yet but what I have read was very helpful.

Side note: I am a believer in the general "digital forum etiquette" that you should see if someone else has already answered the very Q you are asking before you ask it. Noting this because I did do some searching before posting but didn't find what I was looking for...but going back through some of your post history I now see a LOT of posts/threads/comments on very similar topics. So thanks for that too!

 

[gymgal]

Assuming she progresses well and stays healthy, she still has a good shot for being a L10 as a freshman/sophomore in HS, which is generally the goal for college recruiting. I bolded that phrase because that is THE key in gymnastics. Progresses well (minimal fears, blocks, experienced coaches that can get them to the higher levels, keeps interesting in the dreaded middle school years when everything else seems to distract their attention away from gymnastics) and stays healthy (minimal injuries, conditions well and maintains good power and flexibility during growth spurts, mental health). The reality is that only roughly 10% level 3 gymnasts make it to level 10 and less than half of L10s end up competing at the d1-d3 level in college.

While it is impossible to know for sure if your dd will get there, there are things you can do to increase the likelihood: being in a gym that has successful L10s who have gone on to compete in college and has a positive (not abusive) training philosophy; maintaining good life balance (keeping gym at the gym); keeping track of mental and physical health (athletes are notorious for hiding injuries); continue to support her goals but allow her to lead them. At the beginning of every new training season we would have a conversation with our dd regarding whether she was still "having fun", wanted to continue for the next year, what her short and long term goals were and whether we needed to change anything to help her attain those goals.

 

[cyrano123]

YES IT IS GENUINELY POSSIBLE. Your description of your daughter is almost identical to my own DD. My DD was picked for pre-team at age 8 at a very recreational gym but she told me she was getting bored and wanted to learn, learn, learn! So we moved her to a very good L10 gym with an excellent JO Program and they decided to challenge her and skip L3 and she started training L4 at age 9. All the drive and desire came from her. At her first ever competition she placed 1st AA which shocked us. She then tested out a few levels along the way and got to L10 at age 13. This year at age 14, she qualified jr elite! Like you, we started her late because our family is not an athletic family, and I myself tried rec gymnastics when I was younger and was petrified by it lol! She actually begged us to give her gymnastics lessons a year before we enrolled her because I thought, "She's just saying that, she doesn't know how hard it is!" I never regretted putting her in gymnastics "late" because she has stayed very healthy, with hardly any overuse injuries (knock on wood) throughout her career so far and I really believe starting late had A LOT to do with that. BUT to get there, we did a few things right, and I'm not saying you have to do the same, just what we did that I think helped:
(1) putting her in a gym that had resources to test a child out of levels, esp compulsory
(2) she homeschooled from grades 4 - 8 (hard decision for our family for whom academics is #1 priority but she's returning to school this fall)
(3) after one year of L10 we moved her to a gym with record of producing elite gymnasts
My husband and I know we know nothing about gymnastics so we leave all gymnastics decision to her coaches. Our job is to support her health and education. And we still don't know where she'll go from here but as one of the parents said in the response, we take it day by day. She still loves it and is healthy and that's good enough for us for today! Good luck to your DD and you should not have any regrets or guilt!!! If she's good enough and works hard enough, SHE WILL REACH HER GOAL!!!

 

[Dahlialover]

If she has the ability and the necessary support, her age should not be a problem. You’ll need a gym that is willing and able to fast track her to optionals this year. For that to happen, you’ll need a coach who really believes in her and a gym that has the resources to make that happen. Good luck!

 

[Dahlialover]

If she has the ability and the necessary support, her age should not be a problem. You’ll need a gym that is willing and able to fast track her to optionals this year. For that to happen, you’ll need a coach who really believes in her and a gym that has the resources to make that happen. Good luck!

Just thinking my initial response over again, the exact timeline will depend on her current grade grade in school. If she’s in 3rd grade right now, she won’t need to be fast-tracked to optionals this year to get on the college track. Her path could look something like this:

Level 3 in 3rd
Level 4 in 4th
Level 6 in 5th
Level 7 in 6th
Level 8 in 7th
Level 9 in 8th
Level 10 in 9th

That’s a normal progression and she’d be in great shape as a level 10 in 9th grade.

 

[kipkiphooray]

Just thinking my initial response over again, the exact timeline will depend on her current grade grade in school. If she’s in 3rd grade right now, she won’t need to be fast-tracked to optionals this year to get on the college track. Her path could look something like this:

Level 3 in 3rd
Level 4 in 4th
Level 6 in 5th
Level 7 in 6th
Level 8 in 7th
Level 9 in 8th
Level 10 in 9th

That’s a normal progression and she’d be in great shape as a level 10 in 9th grade.

Thank you, for both of your responses. Appreciate it.

She is in 3rd grade now. I get that no matter what it will be a big challenge, but good to know that there is path that is attainable, assuming she does in fact stay with it, and one that isn’t a pipe dream.

 

[gym_dad32608]

I affirm all the previous responses. D1 is within the realm of possibilities. Again, the target to give the best chance is to be a L10 your freshman year of high school. There are certainly examples of D1 gymnasts that hit L10 latter but that is much lower probability. Elite is probably much less likely, unless she is in a gym that trains elites successfully and even then, they would be pulling her into their program by now.
Along those lines, and this might be somewhat controversial to many here, but if you do want to give her the best opportunity to reach that goal, then you may need to switch gyms including to gyms out of town. My personal opinion is that being in a gym with a proven track record of college gymnasts and coaching tenure (ie, they have been there forever) makes an immense difference. These coaches have long established relationships with college coaches, are in constant contact with them and know the training to make a successful college gymnast. Your current gym may already fit that if so, great. But otherwise you may need to seriously consider becoming "that family" who drives several hours to the gym. I understand others opinions on this, but it is just another variable that you actually can control versus the multitude of others we cannot (growth spurts, injuries, etc).

 

[BusyMomof2]

I think it's totally normal to adore the sport at 9 years old and have college dreams and beyond. In fact, I would say every girl on my daughter's team felt that way at 7, 8, 9 years old. The preteen years change so much and the sport may or may not remain at the top of the list. So - don't stress. Enjoy her enjoyment and follow her lead, and fund/support/cheerlead as her parent. As others have said, it's possible, but soooo many things have to happen (or not happen, in case of injuries, mental blocks, detrimental growth spurts that you have no control over, etc). I really would not make any decisions about gym, her future, college plans and the like based on a successful level 3 or level 4 season.

 

[kipkiphooray]

I think it's totally normal to adore the sport at 9 years old and have college dreams and beyond. In fact, I would say every girl on my daughter's team felt that way at 7, 8, 9 years old. The preteen years change so much and the sport may or may not remain at the top of the list. So - don't stress. Enjoy her enjoyment and follow her lead, and fund/support/cheerlead as her parent. As others have said, it's possible, but soooo many things have to happen (or not happen, in case of injuries, mental blocks, detrimental growth spurts that you have no control over, etc). I really would not make any decisions about gym, her future, college plans and the like based on a successful level 3 or level 4 season.

Appreciate the response. I do hear you. In fact, most of what you wrote is basically what my attitude has been all along, and I continue to try and have this perspective.

What I am struggling with though, is that I am of two minds and getting “mental whip lash” trying to process this topic.

On one hand it doesn’t matter to me at all she reaches the college level., and I certainly would not bet on it in vegas, either =) . And I also know she may decide to give up gymnastics down the road, too. Important thing is she is happy and loving what she is doing. And, I know there are SO many intangible benefits to competing in gymnastics at any level that she will - and already is - benefiting from. This has been my overall attitude.

On the other, it seems like this is a sport where to have any opportunity at all to get to the “final destination” you have to be intentional about it at a relatively young age - one where you can’t possibly predict the future. And from what I’m gathering nine does seems to be kinda about the tipping point where it is still a semi-realistic goal to at least strive for.

I think I just need to have an open convo w/ her coaches about this. We’ve touched on the subject with them, but haven’t had a really direct convo. If they know the goal and agree then they can take it from there and train her with that goal win mind, and we can just focus on supporting and cheering on our daughter and seeing how far she wants to take things. Thanks again.

 

[gym_dad32608]

Appreciate the response. I do hear you. In fact, most of what you wrote is basically what my attitude has been all along, and I continue to try and have this perspective.

What I am struggling with though, is that I am of two minds and getting “mental whip lash” trying to process this topic.

On one hand it doesn’t matter to me at all she reaches the college level., and I certainly would not bet on it in vegas, either =) . And I also know she may decide to give up gymnastics down the road, too. Important thing is she is happy and loving what she is doing. And, I know there are SO many intangible benefits to competing in gymnastics at any level that she will - and already is - benefiting from. This has been my overall attitude.

On the other, it seems like this is a sport where to have any opportunity at all to get to the “final destination” you have to be intentional about it at a relatively young age - one where you can’t possibly predict the future. And from what I’m gathering nine does seems to be kinda about the tipping point where it is still a semi-realistic goal to at least strive for.

I think I just need to have an open convo w/ her coaches about this. We’ve touched on the subject with them, but haven’t had a really direct convo. If they know the goal and agree then they can take it from there and train her with that goal win mind, and we can just focus on supporting and cheering on our daughter and seeing how far she wants to take things. Thanks again.

Does the gym and more importantly the coaches, have a track record of getting girls to college? How long have the coaches been there?

I totally understand your struggles, but you are correct, and I know some might dunk on me as a "crazy gym parent" but you are correct in the timing of starting that commitment.

 

[RTT2]

Does your daughter's gym have a strong upper level optionals program? Do they routinely send girls on to NCAA gymnastics? If so, then there's really no need for you to tell them that's your daughter's goal- they would already be training girls in the DP program with that end goal in mind, but it certainly never hurts to communicate with the coaches. Having big goals and dreams is great, but I've seen so many parents focus on the college gym dream really early on, and girls in elementary school really don't know what it means to get to college gymnastics. They see signing ceremonies at the gym where girls get a cake and balloons, and the coaches say nice things about them. They watch a college meet and see talented young women in pretty, sparkly leos and that's what college gym means to them. Just look to having a good season and keeping it enjoyable at this stage and consider the college path once she's an upper level optional. As long as she's in a good gym nothing more needs to be done or planned for right now. I personally think the less talk about making it to a D1 program when the kid is still a compulsory the better.

 

[charlottetumbles]

shes actually not too behind at all my gym had a girl start gym at 12 and shes in a pretty solid D2 program right now! if she seems to have the work ethic I bet she could make it considering 9 years old is still pretty young and if she doesn't skip level 6 she would most likely be level 10 by the time shes 14/15 which is pretty regular
majority of the kids who are higher levels at young ages have also been doing this sport for multiple years I've seen some 4 year olds training levels 2/3 but that's an extremely early start her age is pretty decent for her current level and I believe if she keeps going she would be able to get into a good D1 program

 

[GymDadWA]

Here's your words of caution but the biggest hurdles your DD will probably face are yet to come and there is not a lot that you and the coaches are going to be able to do about it or help with it.

Puberty and growth hit girls differently and the changes in body shape and mental chemistry can be enough to make a gymnast so uncomfortable that they can't or don't want to do skills that they easily have been doing previously. This sort of starts the mental block cycle and all of a sudden progress stops. Very few skills below DP6 cause much in the way of mental blocks for girls on the level 10 trajectory, and there isn't a way to know that the higher end skills will end up creating mental blocks for girls that may have never shown a fear previously.

The second thing and it's just as important is that the dedication and time requirements become socially debilitating as girls get older. They need to have friends outside of gymnastics, those same friends are not going to understand the needs of the gymnast or can be unintentionally cruel when the gymnast just isn't included in activities or conversations because of their limited availability. This isn't even taking into account a possible romantic relationship that in the moment will be more important to your DD than anything or anyone else.

Point being is that while it is not too late to make 10 and shoot for college just be prepared for it to not happen. Also you didn't start her too late, the gifted athletes close the gap quickly and effortlessly.

 

[kipkiphooray]

Here's your words of caution but the biggest hurdles your DD will probably face are yet to come and there is not a lot that you and the coaches are going to be able to do about it or help with it.

Puberty and growth hit girls differently and the changes in body shape and mental chemistry can be enough to make a gymnast so uncomfortable that they can't or don't want to do skills that they easily have been doing previously. This sort of starts the mental block cycle and all of a sudden progress stops. Very few skills below DP6 cause much in the way of mental blocks for girls on the level 10 trajectory, and there isn't a way to know that the higher end skills will end up creating mental blocks for girls that may have never shown a fear previously.

The second thing and it's just as important is that the dedication and time requirements become socially debilitating as girls get older. They need to have friends outside of gymnastics, those same friends are not going to understand the needs of the gymnast or can be unintentionally cruel when the gymnast just isn't included in activities or conversations because of their limited availability. This isn't even taking into account a possible romantic relationship that in the moment will be more important to your DD than anything or anyone else.

Point being is that while it is not too late to make 10 and shoot for college just be prepared for it to not happen. Also you didn't start her too late, the gifted athletes close the gap quickly and effortlessl

Appreciate the advice! I do get everything you are saying. And I mean it, I really do. I know the odds are not in her favor and that there is a litany of things that life with throw at her as she gets older that could change her path. I want to help her "go for it" for as long as she wants to and can. We'll see.

 

[raenndrops]

D1 University of Washington has a gymnast on their team, Lilly Tubbs, who didn't start gymnastics until she was 9 years old (according to the commentators are the Pac 12 Championships).

 

[Tmacs]

I have no regrets waiting until my daughter was in 2nd grade to start L2. Her gym competes every level but uptrains a lot. So even though she's just finishing L7 in 7th grade, she has most of her L8 skills already, and competed some this year. I still think there is a good chance for her to do college gym. Late start for her meant better body awareness and skill development- no bad habits, no injuries, no overuse. I think many who start on the later side can catch up quickly if trained right. As others mentioned, so much can happen on the road to college gym that it's best to just enjoy the process.