Anon Parents of 2 gymnasts - advice

[Milomom]

My girls both started gymnastics at the same time. There is a a 3 year age difference between them. Currently they are 1 level apart (3 and 4), but I anticipate that next year they will either be at the same level or my younger one may pass her older sister. How do I navigate the jealousy that is already starting (younger one came home with all 5 medals for her first meet while my older one has never gotten more than 1 medal at a meet)?

 

[Blythe24]

I’ve got two boys, two years apart, in the same level this year. Younger son has more natural gymnastics talent, although my older son is coming into his own now that he is starting to get stronger (puberty).

My older son said one day that he wished he was as strong and flexible as his brother so that he could be a better gymnast. I said, ok, but remember that people come as a package. You can’t pick and choose a handful of traits from someone else. There’d be trade-offs.

My older son is very creative, excels in language arts, and is naturally charismatic and able to “work a room.” He’s very proud of those abilities he has. His brother doesn’t have those traits and skills (he obviously has other strengths, but also his own weaknesses).

I asked my older son if he’d really want to be like his brother strength / flexibility-wise if it meant taking all of his brother’s other traits (and losing the special mix of things that makes him HIM). He thought for a moment, then said, “Nah. I’m happy with the way I am.” He has never said or done anything that even resembles jealousy since.

Gymnastics is important to them now, but life is much more than gymnastics. In the long run, relationships with siblings will outlast any sport.

 

[GymDadWA]

There isn't a good way to handle that situation, you'll hear the standard "everyone is on their own journey, and they should not compare to anyone else but themselves", but that doesn't really make a child feel better or less jealous.

Just be prepared if the older one doesn't want to do it anymore and how you want to deal with it.

 

[Pineapple_Lump]

How the coaches handle and manage the gym environment makes a big difference from experience. As GymDadWA stated, nothing said will really make a difference, especially if the actions of the adults completely contradict those words. If it's a gym where a big fuss is made of the young talents then it is going to be a problem.

Personally if your gym had a strong/respected Xcel program and your older daughter had friends in that group I would be trying (without causing upset) to move her that way so that each daughter has their own path.

 

[Anonymous (1745)]

I had two in gymnastics at the same time. My older was more advanced but my younger wasn't bad, she just didn't want it as much. We ended up moving my eldest to another gym (with the first gym's blessing). Now they had their own circle of friends and were not being compared to each other. I'll admit that we were lucky to be able to do this but it gave each of them their own world to be competitive in.

 

[JBS]

How do I navigate the jealousy that is already starting (younger one came home with all 5 medals for her first meet while my older one has never gotten more than 1 medal at a meet)?

Make sure they are respectful to each other... don't let them be jerks. Deal with each thing as it happens (deal with comments and such right away)... but overall... just let it all play out... reality is just that.

I have 2 daughters and a son all in gymnastics.

 

[JBS]

Here is an article...

Stave Off Sibling Rivalry in the Gymnastics

How can you help your kids maintain a healthy, supportive relationship with each other while they compete in gymnastics?

chalkbucket.com

 

[Anonymous (a2ab)]

My girls are 8 years apart (WAG) and one of the best moments was when the level 2 - 6 yo gave her medals at a meet to her 14 yo L9 sister b/c she hadn't gotten any at the meet. (Big sis always let her baby sister wear a medal and take a picture on the podium when she was a little bit)

I hope they celebrate each other and understand that we are all working on something (we used this phrase everywhere since they were little)

My boys are 3 years apart (TNT) and hey have shared levels a lot lately (15 yo L 8, 9, 9. 18 yo L9 and 10) and there are some struggles now that both 15 yo+ division and senses of one got to work an upgrade more/sooner than another. But we try to always support kind and acceptance.

 

[DP gymnast mom]

I have 3 gymnast sisters, aged 11,14& 7. They were never in the same level, however recently the 14 year old started feeling that she didn't want to always be on the exact same path as her sisters. She decided that either she would quit or move to another gym.

It was the best decision we ever made. She moved to another gym and now feels like even though she does the same sport, she has her independence and she is never compared to her sisters. She has blossomed this year and will now compete level 10. Her sisters are blossoming in their gym as well and is working out well aside from the logistics but that is our problem, not theirs