Parents Qualifying for States

[Gymmomka]

Hi! My level 3 daughter is 1 of only 2 girls on her team to not qualify to states according to her gym's qualifying score 36. However, the actual USAG qualifying score is 32. My daughter had 35.2. She is upset because the other girls on the team are of course talking about the upcoming state competition and she really wants to go. I am perfectly fine with not giving up a weekend to go to the meet but of course I am supportive of my daughter. On one hand, I am worried about her feeling dejected and discouraged and part of me wants to talk to the head coach since she technically did qualify. On the other hand, this could be a valuable life lesson on handling disappointment and moving forward. I would love to hear your opinions on this. Thanks for reading!

 

[Ty’s Dad]

If you knew the gym rules it’s nothing to talk about. My daughters gym you don’t make state team you don’t go to Regionals, they can careless what your scores are. It is what it is

 

[NutterButter]

I wouldn't be happy if the gym imposed a higher qualification for state, but if you knew the policy in advance then you really can't complain. Do they have other rules like this too? Does you DD have to repeat L3? Do you have other gyms in the area?

 

[Gymmomka]

I wouldn't be happy if the gym imposed a higher qualification for state, but if you knew the policy in advance then you really can't complain. Do they have other rules like this too? Does you DD have to repeat L3? Do you have other gyms in the area?

I didn't really know until a couple weeks ago when they mentioned it in an email. Last year the gym decided not to go to states at all so this was our first experience with the qualifying. I don't think they have other rules involving scores. The levels seem to be skill based. A couple girls repeated 3 this year while some moved to 4 (kip is often the deciding skill). This is DDs 1st year in 3. There are other gyms within a reasonable distance but not as close as our current gym less than 10 mins away.

 

[katrid11]

They only mentioned it in an email a couple of weeks ago??? eeek that's not great but still within the options of the gym to make their own more stringent criteria.

It is a life lesson - not everyone gets a medal. Not everyone gets picked for States etc.

I would have a conversation with coach after states about the process for the following season. do not assume that it is only skilled based to progress to L4. You will want to know if your daughter is automatically repeating L3 now so you can set that expectation with her rather than another more last minute announcement.

If you don't appreciate how this gym is communicating or their rules, check out other gyms. Not every gym uses more stringent criteria to get to States. Personally we use States as a celebration of the year - rarely does someone not qualify (usually due to season ending injury). Our goal is to have everyone go.

 

[SupportingHerDreams]

Here is a little different view, my daughter went to level 4 states when her scores were fairly low because her gym's policy was that anyone that qualified (got an AA of 32 or higher) was expected to go to states. We went and she got her *** handed to her coming in second to last AA for her division. That isn't exactly fun either. I mean it was a good experience for her to get perform at a large scale meet but there were definetly tough things about it. So, yeah... right now it is hard but it may not be quite as fun as she is imagining.

 

[NutterButter]

I didn't really know until a couple weeks ago when they mentioned it in an email. Last year the gym decided not to go to states at all so this was our first experience with the qualifying. I don't think they have other rules involving scores. The levels seem to be skill based. A couple girls repeated 3 this year while some moved to 4 (kip is often the deciding skill). This is DDs 1st year in 3. There are other gyms within a reasonable distance but not as close as our current gym less than 10 mins away.

Ahhhh...I can see why you are a little miffed with the situation. Do you know why they don't always go to state? I was thinking about this a little more and I can see for L3 that their thinking may be that it's not a big deal to go to state and that the practice time might be better spent preparing for L4, especially if you are in a highly competitive state. The kids like it though so I dunno.

 

[Dahlialover]

If you want to be an effective advocate for your child, you have to pick your battles carefully. This is not a battle worth fighting. You will not win and you will come across as an entitled parent who doesn’t think the rules should apply to them. Don’t do that. Coping with disappointment is an important life skill, so embrace it. Your kid will be fine and so will you. Good luck!

 

[GymnastMomX2]

I can understand the frustration, but I wouldn't think its worth even talking to the coach about, you'll end up looking like a CGM . Use it as a learning experience for your daughter to cope with disappointment, and just reassure her you're proud of her no matter what. The state meet will pass quickly and will soon be forgotten as all the girls start working new skills for next season.

 

[Gymmomka]

Ahhhh...I can see why you are a little miffed with the situation. Do you know why they don't always go to state? I was thinking about this a little more and I can see for L3 that their thinking may be that it's not a big deal to go to state and that the practice time might be better spent preparing for L4, especially if you are in a highly competitive state. The kids like it though so I dunno.

I honestly don't think knowing in advance would have changed the outcome, though better communication would have been nice. DD had a mistake in each meet on a different event and wasn't able to put together the AA score. Last year the gym decided not to go to States at all for any level; maybe they thought most of the girls weren't ready but they didn't really say. After thinking about it, I do wonder why States is in December when the girls have only competed in this level for 3 meets in October and November. Last year in level 2, DD had a slow start in the fall but was consistently scoring 37-38 in the spring meets. It would make more sense to me to have states in the spring like they do for XL.

 

[Pineapple_Lump]

Regarding how to handle your child's disappointment... I would do one of two things to help

Either go and support team-mates (if they are not spread over multiple sessions) make it fun and about the team, cheer in the stands. and socialize with them afterwards.
Or if that is too upsetting
Organize a really exciting non gymnastics activity for her to do with you/family on that weekend.

It sounds like the gym isn't too interested in low level awards - which stings a little because this is the hardest gymnastics your daughter has done in so far in her lifetime, so to her it is a likely is big deal.

I would guess you gym is more interested in long term development, and the higher levels. If the coaching is good, and she enjoys the training/team-mates - as others say this is not worth kicking up a stink over.
Over the years of coaching I have seen so many example of kids 'missing out' which actually turned into a blessing as it fired them up for the following year and they really blossomed into strong competitors.

 

[Gymmomka]

Regarding how to handle your child's disappointment... I would do one of two things to help

Either go and support team-mates (if they are not spread over multiple sessions) make it fun and about the team, cheer in the stands. and socialize with them afterwards.
Or if that is too upsetting
Organize a really exciting non gymnastics activity for her to do with you/family on that weekend.

It sounds like the gym isn't too interested in low level awards - which stings a little because this is the hardest gymnastics your daughter has done in so far in her lifetime, so to her it is a likely is big deal.

I would guess you gym is more interested in long term development, and the higher levels. If the coaching is good, and she enjoys the training/team-mates - as others say this is not worth kicking up a stink over.
Over the years of coaching I have seen so many example of kids 'missing out' which actually turned into a blessing as it fired them up for the following year and they really blossomed into strong competitors.

Yes I think this will end up being a positive experience. I definitely don't want to drive 4 hours if she's not competing so we will do something else fun that weekend. The most important thing is that DD enjoys gymnastics and she does so I'm sure she'll get past this.

 

[bookworm]

Here is a little different view, my daughter went to level 4 states when her scores were fairly low because her gym's policy was that anyone that qualified (got an AA of 32 or higher) was expected to go to states. We went and she got her *** handed to her coming in second to last AA for her division. That isn't exactly fun either. I mean it was a good experience for her to get perform at a large scale meet but there were definetly tough things about it. So, yeah... right now it is hard but it may not be quite as fun as she is imagining.

This happened to my daughter as a level 4 at her first gym....but it wasn't a gym defining moment. We switched to a better gym and she was a multi year Level 10 who competed D1 on a full ride . We often chuckle about her 32.2 at Level 4 States seemed like the cat's meow back in the day....

 

[gymgal]

Clearly in the minority here but I see nothing wrong with letting the HC/owner (whoever makes the policy) that you would have appreciated a more clear policy so that the girls knew well in advance to prepare. It poor communication to spring that on them 2 weeks before the meet. Obviously I would not discuss this with your dd and let the coach know that, but there is nothing wrong with providing respectful input.

ETA: Just thinking - if they didn't go to states last year, then was the team expecting not to go this year and the coaches just decided that only those above 36 would go? If that's the case, then no I wouldn't say anything because it is a last minute decision to allow some of the girls go to state meet. It would not be the mandatory score that bothers me, it;s the lack of communication.

 

[A's Mom]

Hold up: they have states after only 2 months of competition? That's fishy to me. Are there more experienced parents at your gym who you can talk to about the short meet season and qualification requirements? I think you can ask a coach for that clarification too, in a way that's saying you're looking to the future and want to be a partner.

 

[Gymmomka]

Hold up: they have states after only 2 months of competition? That's fishy to me. Are there more experienced parents at your gym who you can talk to about the short meet season and qualification requirements? I think you can ask a coach for that clarification too, in a way that's saying you're looking to the future and want to be a partner.

Yes! Technically 3 months because the first meet was in September but DD and some of the other girls did not compete in it. The season continues in the spring with the majority of the girls staying in the same level. So the whole season is similar to a school year with States occurring before winter break. It's very strange but the other gyms here are in the same boat. The exception is XL, as states are in April, which makes so much more sense.

There are a few parents I talk to but mostly in the same level since we see each other at meets. I am rarely in the gym, as my husband and I drop off and pick up from the parking lot.

 

[Dahlialover]

In my state, the boys meet season starts in January and the state championship is March 15th. That’s plenty of competition time in my book, especially for lower compulsory levels.

 

[SupportingHerDreams]

This happened to my daughter as a level 4 at her first gym....but it wasn't a gym defining moment. We switched to a better gym and she was a multi year Level 10 who competed D1 on a full ride . We often chuckle about her 32.2 at Level 4 States seemed like the cat's meow back in the day....

We switched gyms also and went from consistently scoring in the bottom three to scoring in the top!!

 

[gymgal]

Hold up: they have states after only 2 months of competition? That's fishy to me. Are there more experienced parents at your gym who you can talk to about the short meet season and qualification requirements? I think you can ask a coach for that clarification too, in a way that's saying you're looking to the future and want to be a partner.

Some states are like this. They have their official season in the fall but continue to offer compulsory meets in the spring, with no state meet after. It is odd that the team only did 4 meets before state though. Usually you can fit in at least 5-6.

 

[GymnastMomX2]

. It is odd that the team only did 4 meets before state though.

Our gym has only done 4 meets before state the last few years. I’m always surprised when I hear of gyms doing 7-8+ meets. lol