dani4
Proud Parent
My younger daughter is driving us all crazy now. She is turning 4 in a few days. She is so difficult about everything. She is always tough, but right now going through a massive control-freak episode. It seems to have escalated over the last month and I'm really ready for it to be over. Now it is having an effect on gymnastics and other activities. I'm posting here to figure out what to do about the gymnastics part, but it's all inter-related so I'm going to give some other details too.
-DD has always been strong willed, this is not something new. But she gets more obstinate and combative at times, and somewhat easier to live with at other times. Right now I think she is at her worst.
-We have had a very rough month of childcare transitions in our house- our old au pair left a month ago, then my mom came and did childcare for 2 weeks, then for 2 weeks we had 2 different babysitters (one familiar and one new), and now finally our new au pair has arrived and she is great- but DD is understandably resistant to the new au pair and it seems to be a problem for her. I think a lot of things stem from this transition...
-DD is advanced for her age in every way (except maybe emotionally?). She is extremely articulate, she uses adult vocabulary very convincingly even though she doesn't always know exactly what she is saying (example: "mom something is wrong with my body. it feels like my lungs are unraveling when I talk." --not exaggerating!) I am proud of this child and she is endlessly entertaining in public, but these same characteristics make her extremely difficult.
-Gymnastics: She has been in gymnastics continuously since she was 18 months old. DD has always loved gymnastics. She is focused and listens well in class, and she does well. Her coaches love her.
Lately things have changed. DD fights me in the morning getting dressed- whether for school or gymnastics. She doesn't want to leave the house. She just wants to stay home and play. One morning she said she didn't want to do gymnastics, so I said "ok, we'll just go and watch, and if you change your mind you can put on your leotard." We had to go to the gym for older DD's class, and as I predicted she decided to go to her class, and she did great. She did the same thing at swimming lessons, so I don't think it's necessarily related to gymnastics. Then last week I was watching her class and she was in the foam pit and she did this whole "I'm helpless, mommy come get me out of the foam pit" thing. She started crying. Of course I didn't get her- parents aren't allowed on the gym floor, and she knows that. I think what set her off was reminiscing about when she was in parent & tot. Well she finally got out of the foam pit herself and ran out of the gym, into my arms. I held her and told her she could go back whenever she was ready. She said she didn't want to go back in. I waited a while, and when she still didn't want to go I said that we had to leave the gym then, we weren't going to sit around there and not do gymnastics (older DD was done). She said she wanted to go home, so we did.
The next day she also refused to do swimming lessons. And she has a cold. So maybe it's related to that. But she has been resisting more and more over the last several weeks to everything- school, gymnastics, going outside to the playground when it's nice out (happens about twice a week in the winter where we live), swimming, etc. The only thing she wants to do is stay home and play with her toys, or watch a video (screen time is strictly limited, but she demands it a lot). I feel that at her age the extra activities aren't really necessary and they can be her choice, but school is not a choice- I make her go to school (it's only 3 mornings per week).
I talked about not signing her up for the next gymnastics session (spring session) and she says she wants to do ballet instead. I think I might drop her from gym and put her in ballet, because it's her activity and she should get to try something different... but it makes me a little sad because she's so good at it. And of course, I like gymnastics (more than dance). And I wonder if the same thing will happen with ballet. But I don't know.. she's just turning 4, it's not like it is such a big decision at this age. She also asked about piano lessons.
I just wish she would get out of this funk- she is driving me and everyone else in our family CRAZY. Gymnastics used to seem like the one thing that was guaranteed to bring her happiness, and now it is not.
I know there's not much to be said- after writing this all out I realize that it might be time for younger DD to leave gymnastics, if only for a season, she could even come back at 5 and it wouldn't matter... I want to encourage older DD to stay in gymnastics because she loves it and it is so good for her. She wants to be on the team someday and I have no idea if that is possible for her, but so far so good. Let her try.
-DD has always been strong willed, this is not something new. But she gets more obstinate and combative at times, and somewhat easier to live with at other times. Right now I think she is at her worst.
-We have had a very rough month of childcare transitions in our house- our old au pair left a month ago, then my mom came and did childcare for 2 weeks, then for 2 weeks we had 2 different babysitters (one familiar and one new), and now finally our new au pair has arrived and she is great- but DD is understandably resistant to the new au pair and it seems to be a problem for her. I think a lot of things stem from this transition...
-DD is advanced for her age in every way (except maybe emotionally?). She is extremely articulate, she uses adult vocabulary very convincingly even though she doesn't always know exactly what she is saying (example: "mom something is wrong with my body. it feels like my lungs are unraveling when I talk." --not exaggerating!) I am proud of this child and she is endlessly entertaining in public, but these same characteristics make her extremely difficult.
-Gymnastics: She has been in gymnastics continuously since she was 18 months old. DD has always loved gymnastics. She is focused and listens well in class, and she does well. Her coaches love her.
Lately things have changed. DD fights me in the morning getting dressed- whether for school or gymnastics. She doesn't want to leave the house. She just wants to stay home and play. One morning she said she didn't want to do gymnastics, so I said "ok, we'll just go and watch, and if you change your mind you can put on your leotard." We had to go to the gym for older DD's class, and as I predicted she decided to go to her class, and she did great. She did the same thing at swimming lessons, so I don't think it's necessarily related to gymnastics. Then last week I was watching her class and she was in the foam pit and she did this whole "I'm helpless, mommy come get me out of the foam pit" thing. She started crying. Of course I didn't get her- parents aren't allowed on the gym floor, and she knows that. I think what set her off was reminiscing about when she was in parent & tot. Well she finally got out of the foam pit herself and ran out of the gym, into my arms. I held her and told her she could go back whenever she was ready. She said she didn't want to go back in. I waited a while, and when she still didn't want to go I said that we had to leave the gym then, we weren't going to sit around there and not do gymnastics (older DD was done). She said she wanted to go home, so we did.
The next day she also refused to do swimming lessons. And she has a cold. So maybe it's related to that. But she has been resisting more and more over the last several weeks to everything- school, gymnastics, going outside to the playground when it's nice out (happens about twice a week in the winter where we live), swimming, etc. The only thing she wants to do is stay home and play with her toys, or watch a video (screen time is strictly limited, but she demands it a lot). I feel that at her age the extra activities aren't really necessary and they can be her choice, but school is not a choice- I make her go to school (it's only 3 mornings per week).
I talked about not signing her up for the next gymnastics session (spring session) and she says she wants to do ballet instead. I think I might drop her from gym and put her in ballet, because it's her activity and she should get to try something different... but it makes me a little sad because she's so good at it. And of course, I like gymnastics (more than dance). And I wonder if the same thing will happen with ballet. But I don't know.. she's just turning 4, it's not like it is such a big decision at this age. She also asked about piano lessons.
I just wish she would get out of this funk- she is driving me and everyone else in our family CRAZY. Gymnastics used to seem like the one thing that was guaranteed to bring her happiness, and now it is not.
I know there's not much to be said- after writing this all out I realize that it might be time for younger DD to leave gymnastics, if only for a season, she could even come back at 5 and it wouldn't matter... I want to encourage older DD to stay in gymnastics because she loves it and it is so good for her. She wants to be on the team someday and I have no idea if that is possible for her, but so far so good. Let her try.