Parents Vent.. Feel sorry for younger dd

[Ex member]

My dd who will be 7 in a couple of months has been doing rec gymnastics for nearly 2 years, she has been doing well and has had praise from several coaches over the past few months saying how well she is doing and she is good at gym, one of the coaches said she was doing very well and when the done some sort of skills testing she done very well and that the coach wouldn't be surprised if she was taken out of rec. Dd has past all of her gymnastics proficiency badges first time and has only 1 more to get (we are from the uk). So far nothing has happened, my dd also had a different coach for rec and was told how good she was at the bit they were working on and asked how old she was and when her birthday was (the coach only asked dd as she said she was good), fast forward a few weeks and another coach also another rec coach who dd knows is starting a new development group next month and has started to invite girls to join.

Dd has not been asked and this is something she really wants, I feel very frustrated for dd as despite all the positive feed back she has been left in rec, I have come to a point where I don't want to keep paying for 2 rec sessions a week just for her to be passed over as there is no sign of progression, being in rec for as long as she has she is just repeating stuff she has already done. I have asked dd if she wants to continue with gym and she does but she is not too happy being in rec so it will come to the point where we will have to say enough is enough.

I am just unsure how much longer to give it, do I let her continue and hope for changes and hope she does move out of rec? Dd is always at lessons on time and always does any extra sessions that are on offer throughout the holiday, she is always dressed properly for gym with her hair up tidy. I have told her to let the coaches know she wants to move up as she is old enough to tell them, I don't know what else to do, but it is hard to watch her get passed by for something she wants.

Thank for listening to my rambles..

 

[my4buffaloes]

That has to be so frustrating. Is there official tryouts at some point during the year that she go could to? If it is only up to the head coach, it might be time to talk to him. If you don't get the answers you want - something other than a wait and see approach - it might be time to look elsewhere. Just like not every gym is a good fit for a gymnast and family, not every gymnast is a good fit for what the gym wants. Good luck!

 

[Seeker]

Have you or your daughter told the coach she wants to be on team and/or added to this development group? Let them know your interest, ask what skills she needs to get in order to be moved up and see what they say. Sometimes you have to ask in order to get what you want or get the information you need regarding what is holding her back.

 

[Ex member]

Thanks for the replies, The Gym dd goes to is the only one within a 30 mile radius and it is a good Gym that has had many different Olympic teams from different countries train there and some used it as a training centre during the London Olympics.

I haven't told any of the coaches that youngest dd wants to move out of Rec and I am not going to unless the situation is right (don't want to come across as a one of those parents) - like one of the coaches starts a conversation about how she is doing then I will bring it up, I have told dd to tell the coaches that she want to move up and she said she will. DD is cartwheeling around the room as we speak, she is always doing that now and I have to stop her walking down the road doing them.

I have another dd in the development group (disability one) so it not the be all and end all for me, it is just starting to get to me as youngest dd wants to move up.

 

[Ex member]

Took older dd to her normal development session today and the new group I was talking about in my original post were having a taster session, I knew one if the mums whose daughter got picked (she is 6 and was born in April), I asked her a few questions and I think I have figured out why youngest dd wasn't asked - she is too old by just over 2 months (the gymnastic year goes from January 1st to December 31st), youngest dd was born in October - all the gymnasts asked to join were either 6 (same age as my dd but born after January) or under 6. That might explain why one of the coaches asked my dd how old she was and her date of birth - I am a bit gutted for her that she missed the cut off date.

Dd is still going to let them know she wants to move up and fingers crossed that they have a group for slightly older ones - I hate to think that dd missed out because of those few months as she is only 6 and too young to be too old if you know what I mean.

 

[txgymfan]

If they agree that she is "too old" at SIX to make the team I would check out other gyms. Some Olympic level gymnasts did not start until they were older than that.

 

[Ex member]

If they agree that she is "too old" at SIX to make the team I would check out other gyms. Some Olympic level gymnasts did not start until they were older than that.

I think that dd is just too old for the new group that is being formed, I have seen girls as old as 9-10 join a development group so I know dd is not too old, they are other development groups in dd's gym and I hope that one of them is suitable for her, these girls invited to the new group are born 2007 - 2008 and dd was born at the end part of 2006.

I know you shouldn't compare your gymnast to others but after watching the new group have their trial session it is clear that they are not at the same skill level as my dd so it wasn't a good fit for dd anyway. From what I have observed from my dd is that she benefits being in smaller groups and seems to feed off others - take for example the other day dd took part in an extra session that had a couple of girls from different levels of the development classes as well as children from rec, dd seemed to do better at warms ups working along side the development girls then she did in the big rec groups - it seemed to spur her on.

 

[Seeker]

This is exactly why you should just ask someone what the options and opportunities are for her at this gym. It would have been much easier on her emotionally to have asked and found out that the reason she wasn't selected for this particular group was due to her age rather than her thinking all this time that she's not good enough. Just let them know she's interested in moving beyond rec and ask what the options are and then you can make the best decision for her.

If there are no chances for her to be a part of a team at this gym, it would be better to know that now, while she is young and has the chance to find a new place. If there are opportunities for her, your asking them of the options will let them know you're interested in pursuing it and will hopefully start her down that path. There is no downside here...they will not think that you're a Tiger Mom if you respectfully inquire about an opportunity. Good luck!