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For Parents Good news and bad news...

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GymnasticsMom

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I'll start off with some good news. DD4 is learning a back handspring:eek:

Now some bad news. I went to DD1, DD3, and DD4's practice tonight. I was watching the level 4's on floor and my DD was up. She was the last one to go. Coach gave her a lot of complements and smiles (which is hard to do because HC is very HARD to please.) They sat down in a group discussion, and HC yells a lot so I could hear everything HC was telling them. She said "All of you were sloppy, sloppy, SLOPPY! Hannah (DD3) did so much better. She was tight and pointed and not a lose limb in sight. She is only 5 years old and not even competing yet! How does that make you feel?"

DD3's face dropped. I was trying to keep the "not competing" thing on the down low. Since she is only 5 she will not be able to compete. She knew, but I never talked about with her. HC made the whole L4 team do conditioning and DD3 got to pick an event for her to only work on as a gift. At the end, some of her friends were in tears, others blamed it on her. DD3 was in hysterics and says she doesn't want to go back to the gym on Sat.:(

Help please!
 

mariposa

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Sep 25, 2007
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That is so sad. I hate when they compare girls like that in a bad way. Some kids just have naturally good form. It is like their bodies are just tight. Others (like my DD) don't. You can tell from really young, too. At least it seems that way. I think as they get older, it clicks for the ones that don't have it, but for some it is just natural.

I would really explain to DD how it really isn't fair to compare and that it is on the coach, not her. She was doing her best, being herself and that everyone is different. I would try to keep it neutral with the situation regarding the coach since 5 year olds tend to blab, LOL. Make sure she knows it isn't her fault the other girls were upset with her, they were just upset because the coach said things to them that wasn't nice.

About competing, I would just explain to her that 5 year olds don't compete level 4, it is a rule and we have to follow rules. That she will just be super prepared when she does get to compete and that she can relax and just really learn things right now. It has to be hard for her though having older sisters who compete and wanting to be like them.

Sucky situation with the whole thing and while her coach felt he was praising her, it actually alienated her from the group as a whole, which is why those kind of comparisons shouldn't be made by coaches. Using her as an example without criticizing and without saying she is only 5 would have been a better idea. Kids really are all different and comparing them just creates jealousy and resentment, and it really does usually hurt the kid that they are being compared to. :(

And on DD4 learning BHSs. Yikes and wow!! Isn't she only 3? That is so little. I hope they are very careful.
 
G

GymnasticsMom

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And on DD4 learning BHSs. Yikes and wow!! Isn't she only 3? That is so little. I hope they are very careful.

I could barely watch it! Even though the coach was pretty much holding her and flipping her LOL. Our gym is the "pushy" type of gym that wants to get young girls doing team-type skills. I am leaving it up to the coach on this one.:covereyes::scared:
 
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bpatient

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. . .HC yells a lot so I could hear everything HC was telling them. She said "All of you were sloppy, sloppy, SLOPPY! Hannah (DD3) did so much better. She was tight and pointed and not a lose limb in sight. She is only 5 years old and not even competing yet! How does that make you feel?"

My daughter used to attend a gym with coaches like that. I was more concerned with her develpment as a person than in her progress as a gymnast, so she's doing well enough in the sport at another gym, and she and I are much happier now.
 

MdGymMom01

Active Member
Mar 5, 2008
2,236
North America
HC yells a lot so I could hear everything HC was telling them. She said "All of you were sloppy, sloppy, SLOPPY! Hannah (DD3) did so much better. She was tight and pointed and not a lose limb in sight. She is only 5 years old and not even competing yet! How does that make you feel?"

Yeah, my dd was at a cheer gym where the coach yelled all the time and called them names too. We left that gym because my dd hated it and she would just shut down emotionally and would not respond to him when he yelled. It took her well over 6 months to even talk and express herself with another coach when we switched. It was a mess. Now we are at gymnastics gym that is very positive and the coaches are great. Some of the coaches are tougher (for the older higher level kids) but dd's coach is very patient and nurturing. DD and the girls love her!!

Be very careful with coaches that act that way (the yelling) in front of kids. Words can hurt very badly and girls need healthy self-esteems so that they grow up into healthy confident young women. I know that some kids are tough and "can take it" but it is really not healthy for the emotional or psychological well-being of any child or adult for that matter.

Good luck!!
 

DbacksMom75

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Proud Parent
Aug 18, 2008
112
Arlington, TX
I could barely watch it! Even though the coach was pretty much holding her and flipping her LOL. Our gym is the "pushy" type of gym that wants to get young girls doing team-type skills. I am leaving it up to the coach on this one.:covereyes::scared:

OMG that reminde me of when big DD was 4 and the assitant coach that was helping with tumbling (all of 16 years old) was flipping her in a back tuck. She wasn't doing the skill but was small enough he basically just tossed her. :eek: I couldnt watch, luckily the HC saw what was happening and put an end to it.;)
 

Gymmonkeymomma

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Mar 7, 2008
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We get alot of that at our gym, pitting kids against each other. I hate it. Sorry your little gymmie was upset .... it's great that she is doing so well but to single her out to make others feel bad was more than wrong!!
 

mariposa

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Sep 25, 2007
3,529
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Why would you even want her to go back?

I agree with TeamDad in that, though I guess it would depend it this was an isolated incident, or if this will be an ongoing issue.

I don't think I would take my DD back if it was going to be an ongoing issue and I definitely wouldn't take her back if she was adamant about not wanting to go. Tough situation, but there really is no place for this kind of negative coaching.

Can you discuss this with the owners? I would explain to them how much it upset your DD, how it upset the other girls, etc. These are little girls. :( Maybe find some articles about how negative coaching isn't good for them emotionally, though that should be more than obvious. It can be very hard to be the favorite, teacher's /coaches pet, I remember from experience.

Good luck. Hope your DD is okay.
 
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GymnasticsMom

Guest
Thanks! DD is fine today, she actually forgot about the whole thing:p Our exact convo this morning was:

"I can't wait to go to gymnastics tomorrow"
"Why?"
"Cuz I get to flip and see my friends"

Little minds work it many different ways don't they:rolleyes:;)
 
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