For Parents How to get your DD to actually LISTEN to what the coach is saying

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Tim_Dad

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Nov 3, 2008
414
Region IV (Missouri)
I know I can't be the only one...

Let's say you're watching your gymmie during a workout, and coach points out something specific to work on. You see that DD hears the coach, but continues to do the same mistake over and over. Coach corrects mistake again.. and again. And then they get it - once or twice. Then go back to the same ol ways 5 mintues later.

Ex. Nastia has this adversion about her arms & hands NOT being up high enough or turned in properly on many of her routines. Coach has physically positioned her arms to where she wants them. Nastia says "Oh ok", then doesn't do it when she performs the skill. I think she THINKS she is, but she actually ins't. After a few attempts, coach closes her eyes, let's out a sigh, and moves on...

What do you do??
- Do you talk with your DD?
- shake your head, let it ride, and allow coach and DD to work it out?
- Talk to the coach and ask them to be more insistent that your DD "get's it".
- Recollect Bill Cosby's 1980's comedy routine about children with "brain damage"?

Honestly...i want to do ALL of the above, but the little cheerleader in the back of my head is saying 'stay out of it.'

I mean, it's hard to continually say to your DD that "You're going great"...when in fact you can see that she's doing OK, but if she listened more, she would be much better.

I'm not sure this is a question, or a vent.
 
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gymmom14

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May 21, 2008
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Boy, can I relate. I feel the same way and am interested to see eveyone's replies.

I can also add, it makes me crazy to see her do beautiful routines at meets and then watch her at practice with unpointed toes, loose body etc.

We all know they can do it when they want to.....
 
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TeamDad

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You might consider getting Nastia into a formal ballet program. The early years of training are all about positions and they are more strict about it then in gymnastics where they might feel that you have years to get it right. In ballet, you don't move on until you get it right. A good ballet instructor will not close their eyes, sigh and move on.
 

Granny Smith

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Jun 21, 2007
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Maybe if it is part of a routine and you have her videod that you can show her, hey see where your arms are, but coach said to put them here. I think you think you are doing it right, but this is what it really looks like.

I think you hit the nail on the head and it is a common problem. I know in dd's gym they will video stuff all the time, especially the bars coach, and show the girls. I do believe they think they are doing it right and they are not. By seeing the video, they can see for themselves that although they think they are doing it right, they are not.

Maybe mention to coach, tht you believe that she truly thinks that she is making the correction, ask if it is possible to video to show her she is not, maybe that would make a difference.
 

gymjourneymom

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I hear you totally Tim_Dad!!! It is soooo frustrating to watch....so just imagine how the coach feels, LOL!!! That's why I don't watch practices anymore:p! But your DD is amazing...whether she has bent legs or unpointed toes...please don't forget that & remember to tell her that:D! A lot of it will come with maturity & practice. As a parent, I wouldn't ride her about it....to me that is the coaches job. She may think she has made the corrections. Kids sometimes have trouble knowing where their body is, in relation to space, it's an abstact concept & kids are very concrete. How old is your DD? Try putting your hands over your head & think about where your fingers are pointed...all while thinking about your next move...with a whole bunch of people staring at you. It's a whole lot to think about all at once...not easy at all! Now think about your child doing it. Your DD is great...no matter what score she gets at a meet:D! If all of these little things were so easy to do, every gymnast would get a 10.0. Proper form will come with time & practice. Gymnastic parents have to learn to be patient...VERY patient:D! This sport is a marathon for us too, not just our DD's;). Ballet would probably be beneficial. But only if your DD enjoyed it & it didn't take up too much of her time. I think kids(even gymnasts)still need some time to be kids! This is a VERY tough sport & all gymnasts are to be commended:D.
 
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GymmomOR1127

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Believe me, you are not the only one:)! Gymmom14 - I am totally with you, dd is famous for that! I think having the coaches video them and show them what they are doing is a great idea, because sometimes they really don't realize that their arms are bent, etc.

Many times I have seen our coach take my dd aside and talk with her for a good 5 minutes, and later I will ask her what it was about, and get the "Oh, I don't remember":rolleyes:! Us parents all joke around that we are going to set up a "bug" so we can hear what's going on!!!
 

Tim_Dad

Member
Nov 3, 2008
414
Region IV (Missouri)
You might consider getting Nastia into a formal ballet program.
Funny you should mention that. Wifey has suggested this before, although she thinks that just a couple of "quick lessons in ballet should do the trick".

That always made me laugh. Quick lessons in ballet huh?? Umm... Yea... Ok. I wanna be around when DW tells the dance instructor that all she wants is a couple of "quick lessons".

We do video on occassion... but most times Nastia doesn't like it when we critique her later on or even have it available on the computer for her to look at herself. Not sure if we're allowed to use the video system at the gym. That's always in use by the optional girls. I've never seen in on our side of the mats.
 
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gymnut1

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Believe me, you are not the only one:)! Gymmom14 - I am totally with you, dd is famous for that! I think having the coaches video them and show them what they are doing is a great idea, because sometimes they really don't realize that their arms are bent, etc.

Many times I have seen our coach take my dd aside and talk with her for a good 5 minutes, and later I will ask her what it was about, and get the "Oh, I don't remember":rolleyes:! Us parents all joke around that we are going to set up a "bug" so we can hear what's going on!!!
my dd too!

As a school teacher I was taught that if you keep explaining something and they don't get it right then you need to change the way you are explaining things because they don't 'click' with your explanation. I try to do that myself at school and it does work! (However good luck with telling the coach that he needs to explain in a different way!)

Can she do the move in front of a mirror so she can see herself?
 
T

TeamDad

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Hey, TD

That would be a funny moment. I can almost picture the stern looking ballet teacher standing with perfect posture attentively listening with an expressionless face.....and responding with a heavy European accent "dabble..you vish to dabble in classic ballet...no, no, no...(insert dramatic pause and menacing glare here)...zere iz no dabble in ballet":D

here is an excerpt from an article that I posted up in the Q&A forum. I thought that it addressed your specific question so I'll attach it here.

"Despite the economic collapse of the Eastern Bloc countries, Russia and Romania dominated the gymnastics field in Sydney. Some of the most striking contrasts between their athletes and those representing the international field was their classical ballet based precision alignment and integration into technical movement. It was clear that the Eastern Bloc emphasis on classical ballet based choreography training contributed to the success of their teams at the Olympics.

In Eastern Bloc development programs, a selection process is used to locate children who have natural joint flexibility and body mechanics which are considered prerequisite for future progress in ballet or Olympic competition. Those selected then enter into a development program which integrates classical ballet based choreography training as a foundation for the correct execution of technical sports specific movement. Classical ballet training is considered the most advanced movement mechanics training in the world, providing a foundation for the development of joint strength, postural alignment and precision control of the human frame in space. In Eastern Bloc programs, approximately 45 minutes per day is committed to this training, 6 days per week."
 
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gymgramma

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video tape Nastia.......you said that she thinks she is doing it but is not. same w/our gymmie. When she sees the video of herself she says "well I thought I'd corrected that, but I didn't"
 

gym law mom

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Dec 23, 2006
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Talk with her coach about having Nastia do a repeat demonstration when she is given a correction. Something we always did in nursing after instructing a patient was to ask them to do exactly what we had shown them. Many times I thought I had explained something very clearly, but obviously the patient didn't---whew glad we cleared some of those mistakes up before sending them home!

Asking Nastia to show the coach what she is supposed to do, will reinforce what the coach said along with making sure she really does "get" the correction. Also the coach can ask Nastia to show you or DW what the correction is so all of you know how it should be done. I wouldn't press her at home to go over things with you---could lead to resentment that dad(or mom) is trying to coach her too.

Just a vague thought to throw in. You've mentioned dd has a once/week private. Sometimes kids tune out the corrections during a regular practice because they figure it will all get cleared up during the private. The private can almost become a crutch and take away some of the concentration she might have during her normal practices if it wasn't there.
 

MdGymMom01

Active Member
Mar 5, 2008
2,236
North America
I would have her practice in front of a mirror. When she actually sees what she is doing (and doing it correctly) she will say "Ohhhhh that's what you mean". Prime example--my dd was doing her split leap without lifting her back leg so she decided to "watch herself in the mirror" while she did it and lo and behold she was like, "OMG--I know I can get my back leg higher than that!" so she concentrated on lifting that back leg and watching in the mirror until she got it consistently. Sometimes they have to see whay they are doing for them to"get it", so having her practice in front of a mirror is good. Also, the ballet classes DO WONDERS for body awareness and poise. I hope this helps.
 
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Tim_Dad

Member
Nov 3, 2008
414
Region IV (Missouri)
Just a vague thought to throw in. You've mentioned dd has a once/week private. Sometimes kids tune out the corrections during a regular practice because they figure it will all get cleared up during the private. The private can almost become a crutch and take away some of the concentration she might have during her normal practices if it wasn't there.
Interesting. DW is going to pick her up this evening, and I asked that she talk with her coach and her the coaches opinion about her private lessons. Specifically, would they be more helpful if spread out between weeks, or even months.

Thanks.
 

Linsul

Active Member
Sep 19, 2008
876
Pripyat
My DD is a class clown personality. When you work at the gym too it adds a whole new level of stress. I really didn't want my kid to be the one disrupting everything, or being mean, or not paying attention. I told the coach up front that if there's ever a problem to not be afraid to come get me. So far she hasn't, I remind her the option is there just so she isn't afraid the offer 'expired.' DD is 5, and she's got all that crazy little kid energy. One thing that I found helped TONS was wearing her out a bit before class. She used to go on Saturday mornings...honestly that was just mean to her and the coach lol. Now she goes on a school night after I run her around the park about 30 minutes. That was my solution.

DD has been in ballet since 3. Not really ballet yet, it's called creative movement. I have always taken her to a strictly ballet school though. It's been nice having her do both. Dance is stricter, gymnastics is more rough and tumble. She complains when she is more in the mood for one than the other, but I'm just glad she sees a difference and can (usually!) act accordingly.
 

Mom2GymMonkey

New Member
Dec 29, 2008
49
I have a similar issue with my DD. But, the difference is that, if the coach takes the time to pull her aside and show her individually exactly what it is she is doing wrong, she usually does get it. There have been a few things that she just would not get right no matter what- like always coming down from a handstand with both feet at the same time. What I did was looked for videos online of girls doing the element correctly and asked her to look at the video and tell me if SHE can see if anything looks different than the way she is doing it. Somehow, giving her the control to find and correct the mistakes seems to make a difference.
 

Panda-girl's Mom

Active Member
Jan 9, 2008
781
I agree with the dance or ballet lessons, it will help her form and it is less stressful than competitive gymnastics and fun for them. Did the coaches approach you with her not making the corrections or is it just from you observing? I would avoid watching practices I know it stresses me out to watch my daughter practice ecspecailly when she is struggling with something. That way you can just show up at the meets and be surprised how well she does. I personally would let the coaches handle the corrections that is what you are paying them for and they are the experts unless they approach you with the problem.
 
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gymnut1

Guest
It sounds like she is a normal little kid! Hooray!

Have you asked the coaches why she needs a private lesson every week? Is that normal at level 3? Is it because she has been singled out as supertalented and is being fast tracked? We don't really seem to have them in the UK so I dont know.
It must cost a fortune - could she have a ballet lesson instead. I think ballet is very good for focus and concentration - I put it down to the classical music. Classical music is proven to have an effect on the brain!
 

gym mom

Active Member
Sep 8, 2007
724
florida
I would not worry to much it can make you crazy.Sometimes it takes them a while to get the nice tight forms .My dd is very unpredictble and drives the coaches crazy when they practice skills by themselfes she has great from ,put them in a routine and great form goes out the window.Her coach has been yelling all season on her fl routine she keeps forgetting one of the finish poses.But I have to say she has came along way since she started team.
 
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