Parents Just got a reality check from Dance Moms show

[gymgal]

Just saw this show for the first time. Whoa! I can't believe they have families willing to put themselves out there the way they do! Anyway.. hit a little reality check with the "mom talk" about the instructor's decisions and jealousy factor about other girls, particularly the ones who get extra privates and do better than other girls... my resolution for this season is to step back and chill a little more in the gym. I'm not "one of THOSE moms" but we all have a little of it in us. I'm going to work hard to keep it in check this season....

has this show (or others like it) caused a rethinking of your attitudes about your gym?

 

[Tumblequeensmom]

I think shows like this make EVERYONE (or at least they should) take a second thought about how they conduct themselves around their children. I especially liked Abby's comment one night about "there's always going to be someone better than your child." Or was that Toddler's and Tiaras??? I think it was Abby Miller . . . Either way....

 

[gymmomntc2e6]

I have not watched it, but can imagine from what I have heard. I think we all have a little of that mom inside. It's just a matter of do you let her take over, or keep her in check. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting your kid to be 'the best' or 'the one' I mean afterall somebody has that kid. Shawn & Nastia's parents did. I would be lying if I didn't wish that sometimes my DD would be the best. And sometimes she has been. Occasional 1st AA's, tied for 1st on beam in her age group @ prep-op regionals acouple of years ago. And it felt great becauseshe loves beam & tried her best & on that day it was good enough. More often than nother best is not good enoughto win. I think as a parent it's hard because to each of us our child is the best.

I sometimes catch myself thinking 'if only she would keep her legs straight she could clean up @ awards' but I know itis REALLY hard for her. When she does it shows in her placements. There are girls on her team that canpull 37 AA @ their frst meet every season. sometimes it is hard not to be jealous or want to try to have morehelp for your child. But in the end it is their spirt, and really DD spends somuch time in the gym, I don't want her there anymore, even if it would make her better. Because I know she isn't going to the Olympics & I would like her to be in gymnasticsfor the long haul, if shechooses. Burning her out@ L5, is pointless. It's L5, not Elite.

 

[Jennemmy]

There is a rule at our gym that parents can't talk to the coach after a meet. After watching the last epi, I think Abby needs a similar rule! I guess the part of myself I see in the show is similar to Mattie's mom. I don't think I would keep my dd from competing in an event for another teammate to win. Esp if my dd was taking privates all year. I guess that is the advantage of gym, most girls compete AA. Don't get me wrong, I cheer our whole team on and love it when dd teammates do well but I don't think I would have my dd sit out vault so another girl could medal. : P

 

[TexasRose]

My DD is on a competitive dance team but it's nothing like Abby's team. In all honesty her girls are dancing at a much higher level. Which is fine, they seem to practice a lot more than my daughter's team. But I bet we have more fun. I would never ask another mom to cancel one of their daughter's solos. It's not any of my buisness what any of the other girls are doing for their solos, that's between their parents and the coach. I couldn't believe that was going on in the show, craziness! The show has caused me to take a step back and think about things. I had to stop myself just last week actually. Our girls have a skills assessment coming up to see which level dance team they'll be on next season. My DD has frequent private lessons and we've already started working on her solos for next season. My DD has a really close little friend on the team with her. Her mom asked me if my DD was placed on a different level than her's if I would mind moving her to that level so they can stay on the same team. We carpooled a lot last season and we really all enjoy hanging out together so I think that motivated her to ask. However, I feel that team placement is the coach's job and not something for me to question. So I just told her I would be doing whatever the coach recommended. Hopefully our friendship won't suffer. I had to stop the knee-jerk reaction that she was asking me to hold my DD back from being as good as she can. I know that wasn't her intention at all, she just wanted to keep the girls together. So I checked myself, lol

 

[Tumblequeensmom]

TexasRose: What a great way to handle the situation!

 

[flipper's fan]

I haven't seen the show- I don't watch stuff like that. but a few years ago DD wanted to go to a dance camp in the morning before gymnastics practice in the afternoon. I signed her up at a local studio that has a successful dance team program. It turned out that dd was the only girl in the camp who was not on the team. She made friends with all the girls, had a great time, and was invited to join the team. I politely declined as she was on another team (gymnastics) and could not handle both.

However, in the probably 30 minutes of time I spent in the waiting room ( over two weeks) with the other parents, I saw so much ego and competetiveness, parents talking about which classes "they" were signing up for, who did what at the recital two months ago, that I began to think that even the craziest gym moms I had known were not as crazy as the dance moms at this studio. No way was I getting her into that! (And, the makeup and sexiness of the costumes put on little 5,6,and 7 year olds just weirded me out.)

 

[TexasRose]

Just watched last week's episode, where the casting agent comes to the studio. I felt so bad for those girls! Their parents put so much pressure on them and they're so little. I got really upset watching the little 6 year old getting yelled at by her coach and her mom for not wanting to sing for the agent. She was scared, who wouldn't be! I hate to see parents put so much pressure on little kids.

 

[DbacksMom75]

Actually that show has made me step back and stay away from practice for awhile. I was starting to get jealous of what other kids were doing and compounded with some personal issues my dd is having started to feel a little psycho mom-ish....
For the next couple weeks I'm going to read in my car and hopefully get over myself

 

[bribri514]

Dbacksmom if you can see that before there's a problem and take the healthy steps to prevent it, you're sooooo not one of -those- moms!!