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International Elite Maggie Haney Hearing

bookworm

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Faith I totally agree! I’m sure a lot of the name callers are ones who think their kids are going places because of Haney , and gymnastically, that May be true but just because you are a coach , at any level , doesn’t give you license to behave in an abusive manner .

I used to say that about my daughter’s NCAA coaches , that people wouldn’t accept this kind of treatment at work and we have laws against it so why do people think it’s ok to treat an athlete like this, especially a minor?
 

Flyaway

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People are willing to subject themselves (or their kids) to a lot if they think it will bring them fame or whatever perceived success.
 
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duyetanh

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I am following this on social media and seeing parents calling Laurie and other gymnasts "snowflakes", defending the "tough" approach and saying it's what's needed to make a champion. The old if the kid can't hack it, it's their fault for not wanting it enough/being strong enough trope.

Parents need to wise up. I'd like to see them treated like that in their work environment, see who's the snowflake then. If you wouldn't accept it at work or in school, don't accept it in the gym.
Wow. I don’t know Laurie personally. But snowflake isn’t a word that comes to mind when I think of her....
 

Sk8ermaiden

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She is disgusting for shaming and namecalling people who are speaking out about abuse. Like I get your kid is upset, especially because it's an olympic year, but that is gross and uncalled for. People "knew" Nasser too and that he would never, ever have done those things, and they shamed and name called those girls over it. People bet their professional reputations on his innocence and they were wrong.

Maggie Haney hasn't been proven guilty, but she hasn't been cleared either. It is NOT OK to say the accusers are lying.

Also? If USAG had taken care of this three/four years ago when the complaint was lodged, none of this would be an issue for Olivia now. I think that's really the bottom line here.
 

bookworm

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And that post is exactly what the name callers are thinking... “Maggie will get my child to Tokyo, she’s devastated, never happened to us” .... Haney didn’t get suspended because nothing ever happened, especially in an Olympic year .

And I’d even give Olivia the benefit of the doubt to say, hey, maybe Haney wasn’t abusive to her but guess what , if she’s abusing others , then she needs to be disciplined and suspended... Haney’s problem is that she didn’t get the memo that behavior like hers doesn’t fly anymore and she didn’t change her ways and now she’s gone.
 

Sk8ermaiden

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Two people can have completely different experiences with a coach and both of them can be telling the truth. The fact that so many people can't grasp this is a bit upsetting.

She could have written this letter as a plea for her daughter and about her experiences with the coach and not attempted to discredit others in the process.
 

Flyaway

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Haney didn’t get suspended because nothing ever happened, especially in an Olympic year .
This is what I keep coming back to.

Olivia's mom's outrage is misdirected. Rather than pointing the fingers at the gymnasts and families that lodged the complaints against Haney, she should direct that anger at USAG for waiting for FOUR years to investigate this. They could have long moved on from Haney if this had been addressed in 2016 when Laurie first went to Faehn with complaints. But of course we know what a dumpster fire 2016 and the following years were...
 

Flippin'A

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My favorite part was "What could be more traumatic than having you mentor ripped away on the advice of attention seekers and absentee parents."

Abuse. Abuse is more traumatic. And I will never understand how people think that people report abuse for attention. I'm not saying there aren't false reports made, but the idea that being a survivor is like becoming a movie star or something is ludicrous. Reporting abuse and testifying against an abuser is a miserable process, made even worse by people making statements like this. And anyway, I highly doubt Laurie Hernandez is starved for attention. Pretty sure she got all the attention she needed by like... winning olympic medals. And Dancing with the Stars. I feel for Olivia and Riley, I really do, but this mentality of "I didn't see or recognize her behavior as abuse therefore she has never abused anyone" has got to stop.
 

TumbleTimes4

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I do feel bad for Olivia and Riley, but the parents have known about the allegations and that there would be a trial for several months and that her suspension could be a potential outcome of it. They’ve had time to figure out alternatives or possibly make different coaching arrangements. Medals and Olympic teams do not take precedence over abuse.
 

Faith

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I don' t know about anyone else, but this whole post screams of an unhealthy co-dependency.

This is actually an abuse pattern, where the gymnast, and/or parents are led to believe that their goals won't be achieved without that coach. That they won't be as good without the coach. They need the coach. This makes everything dependent on the coach, the coach's word is law, and anything that goes wrong is the gymnasts fault....

Scarily I have also seen parents defend coaches like this. They are only tough because the gymnast isn't doing x,y,z. If the gymnast did a, b, c the coach wouldn't need to yell or ignore them.

I've seen one particular coach use a cycle of praise and ignoring to manipulate athletes. If they displease they are kicked out or sent to the far side of the gym to condition. If the coach is happy it's wonderful, fun, and that is what they strive to do. The exclusion makes the gymnasts more desperate for approval, and the approval when it comes makes everything seem ok again. There's no need for yelling, and the gymnasts and parents actually think coach is nice. Even coaches in the same gym don't figure it out. When they're excluded it's their fault, they did something to cause upset.

The olympics is 6 months out. Most of the prep will be done. Yes kids like the continuity and routine, but part of a coaches job is to teach them self sufficiency. If the gymnast cannot cope or perform without that coach, it's the coaches fault.
 

gymgal

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This is actually an abuse pattern, where the gymnast, and/or parents are led to believe that their goals won't be achieved without that coach. That they won't be as good without the coach. They need the coach. This makes everything dependent on the coach, the coach's word is law, and anything that goes wrong is the gymnasts fault....
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The olympics is 6 months out. Most of the prep will be done. Yes kids like the continuity and routine, but part of a coaches job is to teach them self sufficiency. If the gymnast cannot cope or perform without that coach, it's the coaches fault.
It's not just the mental (relationship) but also the physical aspects. If it means a gym switch, then it is getting used to the equipment, the schedule, and the training process in addition to the coach relationship, all of which take time. It may mean a long distance relocation, affecting her schooling and family relationships. While I agree that this mother's anger is misplaced and they should have prepared for this possibility (which they may have), I can certainly understand their concern about her continued training and how this affects her shot for the Olympics.
 
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QuietColours

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I do wonder if Forster or anyone else from the nation team has stepped in to help the national team members at the gym with where they can train during this period, helping to make sure that (if they want to attend camps) they will have a coach there, etc. Does MG Elite have other coaches for the high level athletes, or do they work exclusively with Maggie?
 

Flyaway

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I do wonder if Forster or anyone else from the nation team has stepped in to help the national team members at the gym with where they can train during this period, helping to make sure that (if they want to attend camps) they will have a coach there, etc. Does MG Elite have other coaches for the high level athletes, or do they work exclusively with Maggie?
From what I've read other places there is another coach at MG Elite (Victoria? Vickie? Something like that) that could step in.
 

suds

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…eh, a few thoughts…

Many factors can prevent parents from recognizing emotional or verbal abuse when it occurs right in front of them.
Three of the more powerful forces are prior life experiences, reactions of other parents to the coach’s techniques, and denial.
Cast the first stone ye who has not had an aha moment with the benefit of hindsight. We can all be too close to the trees at times that we can’t see the forest. In addition, insidious onset can make emotional abuse much more difficult for a parent to detect.

Another pitfall, is the tendency to rely on, “My child seems to be doing okay with _____’s coaching.”
Damage from verbally abusive / emotionally abusive coaching may take years to reveal itself. Years.
In the meantime, notable and measurable athletic gains and achievements may be occurring in a child who appears to be okay. This creates a dangerous dynamic. Athletic accomplishments become tangible “proof”, here and now, that the coach’s methods "work." This then reinforces the behaviors by all. In reality, the athletic growth could have occurred to an even greater degree in an emotionally healthy environment – but this point gets missed.

Due to delayed emergence of symptoms in an athlete of an emotionally abusive situation, parents, other coaches, and outsiders can become oblivious to the nefarious sequelae growing inside the child until years later. Outward appearances can be deceptive – especially in children.

My point: Realizing that there are more factors at play than just a “bad” parent helps us all keep more children safe.
 
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