Parents Non-gym folks just don't understand

[margymmom]

I take another tactic- I agree that is seems insane and that I wish we had fewer monetary and time commitments at the gym. However, I also tell them that that it is not about scholarship or other possibilities- I am investing in a happy future. I'm allowing her to have something she loves that will keep her focused and out of trouble during the teen years (and something I can take away should she stray from the straight and narrow). My son is a swimmer, and a parent of a college swimmer once told me I should never complain about a single 6am practice or weekend lost to meets for precisely this reason. Who can argue with that?

 

[gymnastmom96]

I hate when people say "When does she have time to be a kid?"! My daughter doesn't miss out on anything. She's an honor student at a very challenging all-girls school. She attends birthday parties and dances and sleepovers and whatever! She loves to ski, she can ride her dirtbikes like a boy, and plays golf with my husband almost every weekend (weather permitting). She also played softball until she moved to optionals - and that was her choice.
WAIT...I was wrong - she does miss out on a few things...childhood obesity, myspace, facebook, low self esteem, distorted body image, and becoming a couch potato!
I always just say, "Look at her, does he look like she's missing out on life?"

 

[Billy]

Darn! And I was so looking forward to myspace and a teenage couch potato! Wow.... now I AM going to have to make her quit. Gotta be like all the other kids, ya know.

 

[Imat3]

My girls have a few friends at school who give them a bit of a hard time because they aren't able to get together afterschool. These friends have maybe one activity outside of school each week and spend lots of time on the computer playing games on those interacive websites. They will say "you spend way to much time at gymnastics". They will say "I bet you can't come to the skating party tonight because you have to be at gymnastics again". My girls just sort of laugh and say that their friends don't understand that gymnastics is not like most sports or activities. It is a bigger committment, and they can't imagine not doing it. It is not something they have to do, but something they absolutely love to do!!
They still get to go skating and have friends over to play and lots of othe fun stuff, thy just have to plan ahead. They have become very good at managing their time.

Imat3

 

[Billy]

My DD has never wanted to do anything else and the couple times something has come up that was a conflict, she has chosen gymnastics. In fact, she begged to do the Spring Break camp at the gym so we've signed her up (much to her Grandma's annoyance). It's just what she wants to do and I will do everything in my power to let her do it and make sure that she get the best we can give her. And, she still has plenty of play time after school on non-practice days and most weekends.

 

[flippymonkeysmom]

We haven't really had the issue yet either - she regularly chooses gymnastics over other things. I'm noticing the issue really seems to be an issue when they hit middle school (which is next year for us) - so we will have to wait and see. From what we have seen and heard that 12 year old mark seems to be a big drop out point. I have always told her though, that if she ever stops loving it, or it just seems like too much it is ok to stop.

 

[gymjourneymom]

That's right where my dd is....12yrs old....7th grade(middle school)...repeating level 6 this year. So far she has chosen gymnastics over school dances, parties, etc. Most of her school friends actually try to accomodate her gym schedule if they can, b/c they want her to attend their events. I think that's so nice of them But her closest friends have been her gym team mates! They have sleep overs, parties, etc. when it works for them. One of her team mates is sleeping over tomorrow night. I love the "Remember when" montage...it really hits home for us. The team is getting smaller & BFF are leaving gymnastics entirely But my dd is having a good season...so we'll just take it one day at a time & enjoy her...enjoying herself Who knows if she'll stay with it for the "long haul"? I try to keep a realistic attitude, be supportive & let her tell me how she feels about it all.

 

[Livinatthegym]

One of her team mates is sleeping over tomorrow night. I love the "Remember when" montage...it really hits home for us. The team is getting smaller & BFF are leaving gymnastics entirely But my dd is having a good season...so we'll just take it one day at a time & enjoy her...enjoying herself Who knows if she'll stay with it for the "long haul"? I try to keep a realistic attitude, be supportive & let her tell me how she feels about it all.

That's the best you can do. When they're little, they can do the birthday parties, play other sports in the Y league, etc. etc. There just wasn't that much to miss in elementary and middle school. But once high school started, being in gymnastics meant no school sports, no parts in plays or musicals, no madrigal, no jazz band, no after school tutoring, no clubs. Why? Couldn't practice anything after school because we had to get to the gym. The only activity open was marching band because it met before school.

The one criticism I understand the most is the one asking "When do they get to be a kid?" As an adult, it's really difficult to enter a speech contest, be in the cast of a musical or a madrigal, play in a competative jazz band, compete in "math bee," or throw a discus. I do want them to have the chance to try many things, including skills that time time to learn (time they don't have when they spend every day after school at the gym all year round). That's why the "time" is hardest part of gymnastics for me to deal with.

I think, gymjourneymom, that your realistic attitude is key.

 

[catesmom]

My dd is in middle school now and we have been very lucky. No dances or field trips were scheduled near meet weekends and I have no problem letting her miss an occasional practice for something fun. She still does girl scouts and will be a aide at the girl scout summer camp this summer, her younger sister goes and I work at the camp so we are taking it as a vacation week.

Her scout meetings are after school and before gymnastics, when they have them, and she just leaves a little early. She also takes ballet on her off night at the dance school at the gym. The only problem we have ever had is with homework. Last year in 6th grade it was a little rough completing homework, and studying. It was a massive year for homework, and she had some trouble with her second year of Spanish, I think partly finding the time to study, she is a girl who loves to go to bed early. I am very supportive of her gymnastics, but she knows that grades always come first.

All the parents at our school have been very supportive, and have often made special arrangements so that she could take part in fun things. This year things have gone much better at school, her grades are all A's and a couple B's, and it seems to have clicked for her. I am grateful for that, high school seems so close now.

 

[Gymmonkeymomma]

My older DD is in 5th grade and started middle school this year. So far, we haven't had any problems with social/academics vs. gym, since she gets out of school earlier than grammar school. She actually has an extra 40 mins to do homework now As for social activities, her close school friends try to schedule parties on Fridays knowing that that's the non-practice day, and in middle school there are some activities that are right after school, so she can often attend for at least an hour or so before practice. Alot of her social life though revolves around the team girls, most of them have been together for the past 4 years and they enjoy each other's company so much they are usually together most weekends! Our Girl Scout meetings are on Fridays so that doesn't conflict with practice (I am one of their leaders) and we schedule GS trips around non-meet weekends.

 

[medic3188]

I am lucky my dd is a second grader. She has had to choose activies verses gymnastics. Everytime she has picked the gym. I am a little nervous about the future. She is in the gym only 3 days a week for 8 hours.I cant even imagine middle school. We have a hard enough time with homework. My dd loves to go to bed early and sometimes we are staying up late for homework.

 

[Gymmonkeymomma]

Medic3188 - how much HW does your dd get? My younger one is also 2nd grade. She has a tough teacher. She gets 2-3 assignments per night. Most times she can finish in the hour between school and gym - but literally has to start as soon as we walk into the house, and goes right up to the minute we leave. She snacks in the car. Our team practices 15 hrs/wk, all levels, but "luckily" for me, this is what she knows from her sister so she doesn't feel like she's missing much. She knows other kids have playdates after school, but I let her have a friend over once in a while for an hour (to do homework).

 

[gymmomntc2e6]

Medic & Gymmonkeymomma,

my dd is also in 2nd grade. She usually has a math workbook page - both sides, and depending on the day some sort of hw w/ spelling or vocab words. Mon is usually write each spelling word 3x each in ABC order. One day will usually be to write a sentence w/ each etc. She also has to study her math facts which is add or sub based on a starting # for example she is on her 17's so 14+3 = 17, 14-9 = 5 etc. On Friday they have a timed math test - 2 minutes - they can only miss a certain # or they retake the next week. Thursday they have a practice spelling and vocab test as part of their hw that the parent has to sign and date. any they miss on the practice they have to write 3x each.
Wednesday they usually bring home a story on a worksheet they have to read it to a parent and then answer several ?'s on it.

Unfortunately we go from bus stop to home to change, grab a snack and then it is off to the gym. It takes about 15-20 minutes to get there. I have started putting her homework on a clipboard and she works on it in the car on the way to the gym and on the way home. Not sure how I will handle next year if she moves to L4 (which is pretty likely) as she will be there 1/2 earlier and stay 1/2 hour later. It is already a struggle to get it all done.

 

[Billy]

So far homework is not a problem for us (DD is still just in kindergarten). We do her daily reading in the mornings before school and anything else can usually be done on non-gym nights. The only thing that gets in the way is Wednesday night church (children's group and children's choir). DD does not want to miss this and luckily it hasn't been a problem. I even discussed it with the coach at her soon-to-be new gym and they are willing to make arrangements for her to switch the Wed. practice for a different day. If she's up for it by fall (there's no church over the summer and practice is during the day anyway), she may even get to practice with the L5's one day a week and skip the L4 practice on Wednesdays so she can still go to church. That flexibility was another thing I really liked about this new gym.

 

[medic3188]

It sounds like you are really happy with the new gym. That is great. We did the gym shoppping thing and are really happy with the gym we ended up with. My dd already moved up a level to level 3. Flexability is so important. My dd 's coach is very accomidating. I got a new job.... and my hours are later so the coach is going to let my dd stay at the gym with her until I get there. The best is when I need to get her to the gym when there is no school..she lets her cme to her house so I can get to work. She cares about each kid individually.

 

[gymmomntc2e6]

medic3188 - that is great about your dd moving to L3. Did that happen recently or am I just losing my mind and forgot?

Our gym has an afterschool program but there is no bus from our elementary school to the gym, because our elementary school doesn't serve that area If she could take the bus there from school it would help a lot.

 

[medic3188]

gymmomntc2e6-she moved up last tuesday. This sat she is performing in a show with the level 3's. She is still competing level 2 until july. She is considered a level 3 though.

 

[medic3188]

gymmonkey- My dd gets 2 assignments plus reading a night. It takes a while.

 

[gymmomntc2e6]

gymmomntc2e6-she moved up last tuesday. This sat she is performing in a show with the level 3's. She is still competing level 2 until july. She is considered a level 3 though.

That is great. I think she will love L3 - except maybe the mill circle (but that is my very biased opinion - I HATE that thing ). I have enjoyed dd's L3 season. I am pretty sure she is moving to L4 in May. Not positive, but likely she will. She has some skills to get ( mill circle, front hip circle, L4 beam dismount and vault) but she has ROBHS and has done the beam dismount on her floor beam at home. I don't think she will have trouble w/ vault.

At one point the coach was talking about having the girls compete at the level she wants them at in Sept. at their last meet at the end of May, which could mean she needs to tackle all the L4 stuff in the next 2 months (while learning recital routines as well )

I will be glad not to listen to the L3 music

 

[Aussie_coach]

Wow! I can't beleive how much homework your kids get in the 2nd garde! Is that normal. In my state 2nd graders are limited to 15 minutes of homework per night. Do your kids have difficulty getting it all done?