Parents too many hours, should we do this?

[JumpingQueen]

Hello! We’ve just been informed that my daughters hours are doubling starting in dec (going from 5 to 10) and I’m having a hard time agreeing to it. Not only will practices go way later (until 8 pm 2 nights per week) but one is 4 hours and that seems like way too long for my daughter to be working out after a full day of school. She’s 6, almost 7, and just finished level 3.

If we agree to this she will have to give up all her other activities and I’m having a hard time letting/making her choose gymnastics over everything else already. I thought we had more time before hours got crazy. So a. Do I let her try this for a while and then give it up if it’s too much? B. Is it crazy to ask the coach if she can get out early a few nights? Any advice on how to position this to the coach? C. Do I have any other options?

She does love the gym, but this is hard to justify.

Thanks so much in advance for any advice.

 

[Amanda]

The hours can be crazy for sure! I think you will find that 10 hours is actually on the lower end for Level 4- but that doesn't mean it is right for your daughter! She is on the younger side. When my daughter first moved on to the competitive team, I asked the coaches if I could pick her up early (45 minutes) one or two nights a week so that we could eat dinner as a family. They were actually ok with it as long as she worked hard and was focused when she was there. I think it's worth asking. Maybe see about picking her up early on the practice that goes for 4 hours? I will say that after a couple of months, my daughter wanted to stay for the whole practice and we saved the times she misses for events. She is quite a bit older than your daughter though.

 

[2G1B]

I think 10 hours is reasonable for a L4. I don't think it is reasonable for a 6 year old. I'd ask if she could ease into it a little.

 

[momnipotent]

I agree that your first step should be asking if you can miss an hour on the 4 hour day and/or on the late nights. I wouldn’t expect a change in tuition cost though. As for options-she could move to Xcel, which is traditionally fewer hours, but it might be difficult to move her back to J.O. later if she decides that’s what she wants.

 

[Madden3]

Hi, I have a 6 year old girl who is in acro. She leaves practice earlier than the other kids and also practices one day less, because she is so young. This was the coach's suggestion when she joined the team.

I also have had two boys in MAG. One year I had to have one of my sons leave early from practice 2 or 3 nights a week (I think he was 8 or 9 at the time) because the practice simply went too late for a healthy sleep schedule. I told the coach my reasons and he got it. (My son did not like it, however.) After that year, the coach made every effort to avoid late practices for the younger kids.

4 hours would be too long for most 6 year olds. Late nights that go past a reasonable bedtime are not appropriate for most 6 year olds. You are not crazy.

My suggestion would be to explain to the coach that your child's bedtime is 8 PM (or 7:30 or whatever) and you would like to pick her up from practice early enough to make that consistent bedtime work so that she gets enough sleep. And see what they say and take it from there. Maybe they will have no objection. (What coach wants a sleep deprived kid at practice?) If they do object, find out what, specifically, the objection is. There may well be a compromise that makes sense. But there is no harm in asking, at least, there should not be.

As far as gymnastics taking over everything...Yes it usually does. But I think that mostly it is different from other sports in commitment level because it is a year-round sport. I know it seems weird to have a really young kid in the gym that much, but the trend in ALL sports at a comp (rather than rec) level has been more and more specialization and longer hours at a younger and younger age. I do not like it or agree with it, but this is the way things are with kids sports in the US these days.

What other activities are there, and is the issue time or money? Either way, often there are ways to keep other less time consuming activities going with some adjustments.

 

[wandrewsjr]

My own kids never gave up all other activities, until maybe around level 9, certainly not when practicing three days a week. It can take some creativity and finding the right activities and right days, but don’t give up. Nothing wrong with speaking to coach about ending early for one so young or staying in her current level if hours are too much, but going til 8pm and jumping to 9-12 hours around age 7/level 4 is not uncommon.

 

[JumpingQueen]

All of the comments are soo helpful! The reason I say she’ll have to give up other stuff is because her other activities are also getting to the point of needing to meet 3x per week or more (dance and/or swimming) so it feels like we won’t be able to do more than one thing all the way. Im going to see if I can keep a dance class or two in there but we are at a similar impasse at dance.

Thanks fo giving me the confidence to talk to the coach about this! There are a few girls the same age that I don’t think mind the late time , unfortunately, so it’ll be interesting what the coach says. Wish me luck!

 

[RTT2]

All of the comments are soo helpful! The reason I say she’ll have to give up other stuff is because her other activities are also getting to the point of needing to meet 3x per week or more (dance and/or swimming) so it feels like we won’t be able to do more than one thing all the way. Im going to see if I can keep a dance class or two in there but we are at a similar impasse at dance.

Thanks fo giving me the confidence to talk to the coach about this! There are a few girls the same age that I don’t think mind the late time , unfortunately, so it’ll be interesting what the coach says. Wish me luck!

Good luck! I think your plan sounds very reasonable.

 

[gymnastmom05]

My DD had to give up most of her other sports by the end of Level 3. Unfortunately, everything seems to demand multiple days of practice once they get to a certain age. Girl Scouts (Brownies, actually) was on a gym night, soccer went to twice a week practice and she could only make one. She had already given up dance (which was one of the classes I could pick the night based on her availability but she didn't love it and didn't want to continue). She could do swim lessons (again, because I could pick), but not swim team. I think most parents are shocked at the number of hours at first. I remember being concerned about my DD's first 4 hour practices. I even went in to watch the last hour because I was positive it was too much. It wasn't, she loved it. Your DD is young and all kids are different so she might try that and it is a little too much. Take her cues and try to adjust from there. My kids were always in bed by 8 pm and then came gymnastics.....it literally turns your world upside down. It's not necessarily bad, it's just different.

My son is a sports fanatic and can't pick just one. We ran ourselves ragged this fall between baseball and soccer. He had so many practices, so many nights a week, all over, I just don't know if we can continue that for the spring. It took a serious toll on ME (he was fine, but since you can't just drop off and leave those practices because they aren't 4 hours, I was spending all evening in my car or sitting at a field). I don't know how we're going to handle spring. I hate the specializing so young but man, I am exhausted trying to let him do it all!

 

[JumpingQueen]

Yes! My first subject was “is this too much for me?” Because the driving is a lot, too. I have two other kids and haven’t figured out that part yet. Currently I don’t see my other two on the nights I take her to gym because I stay (which will obviously have to change). I feel your pain!

My DD had to give up most of her other sports by the end of Level 3. Unfortunately, everything seems to demand multiple days of practice once they get to a certain age. Girl Scouts (Brownies, actually) was on a gym night, soccer went to twice a week practice and she could only make one. She had already given up dance (which was one of the classes I could pick the night based on her availability but she didn't love it and didn't want to continue). She could do swim lessons (again, because I could pick), but not swim team. I think most parents are shocked at the number of hours at first. I remember being concerned about my DD's first 4 hour practices. I even went in to watch the last hour because I was positive it was too much. It wasn't, she loved it. Your DD is young and all kids are different so she might try that and it is a little too much. Take her cues and try to adjust from there. My kids were always in bed by 8 pm and then came gymnastics.....it literally turns your world upside down. It's not necessarily bad, it's just different.

My son is a sports fanatic and can't pick just one. We ran ourselves ragged this fall between baseball and soccer. He had so many practices, so many nights a week, all over, I just don't know if we can continue that for the spring. It took a serious toll on ME (he was fine, but since you can't just drop off and leave those practices because they aren't 4 hours, I was spending all evening in my car or sitting at a field). I don't know how we're going to handle spring. I hate the specializing so young but man, I am exhausted trying to let him do it all!

 

[RTT2]

And there is nothing wrong with deciding it is too much of a commitment for you and your family. I think we sometimes want to encourage new parents and tell them things will all work out, but the reality is the hours and the financial commitment only increase in this sport. Gymnastics is a very cool sport, but it's also very demanding- on the whole family.

 

[MuggleMom]

at 6/7 DD was going 9 hours (3 3 hour practices i think) at 7/8 she was doing 12 hours 3 4 hour practices and at 8/9 she is doing 16 hours (4 4 hour practices). Our practices go till 8:30. DD is a night owl so this is not a huge issue for us but I do know it is for other parents. One girl picks up her DD early 1 or 2 nights a week. Its all about what you believe is best for your kid and finding a gym that will meet your needs. It is hard these days with so many kids expected to specialize at younger and younger ages...and that mindset is amplified in gymnastics. Good luck deciding and with the coaches.

 

[triplethreat+1]

My dd has that schedule this year, but she is 9. Thankfully the 4 hour practice is on Fridays so she can sleep in the next day. Last year she was at 8 hours/ age 8, but it was two 4 hr practices and she did have a hard time the whole year. She is just that kind of kid that needs her sleep (my older dd had that schedule at the same age and was fine).
My dd has a girl in her group (8 yrs) who leaves an hour early from the 4hr practice. Our coaches/ gym are quite reasonable about making individual adjustments.

 

[mommyof1]

I think this is a common issue around that age no matter what sport your child does, but it might have come a year or two sooner for your daughter than for most kids because she is on the young side for L4. My daughter had to make the same choice between gymnastics and ballet at age 7. Ballet was twice a week and gymnastics was three times a week, and there was no possible way to make the schedule work.

I would be much more concerned about the 4-hour practices and the 8:00 p.m. dismissal than the weekly total of 10 hours. Four hours is a long practice even for much older kids, and if practice ends at 8:00 it's going to be tough to get her in bed before 9:30 even if you have a short commute and dinner is on the table when she gets home. I agree with you that picking her up early on the 4-hour practice night would be worth a try. That way she'd only be getting picked up at 8:00 one day per week.

 

[Flyaway]

This is why I love that our gym is flexible with the hours. Our level 3's officially practice 2 nights a week (6 hours) but all have the option of adding a 3rd night if they would like. Level 4's go 3 nights a week (9 hours) with the option to add a 4th night. At least at those early levels, which often coincide with younger kids, it gives parents the ability to make gymnastics work for them, rather than the other way around. There does come a time eventually (usually around level 6) where the options are much more limited, but by that point the family/gymnast is pretty committed anyway.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

At 7 my girl did 6 hours
Starting at 8 she did 9 hours, until she was 12 and a L7. She then went to 12. They have recently added an optional 2 more hours. So she now goes 14. That will be max for us. Minimum per week is 9. Depending on the week she goes 9-14. This week it will be 9.

She does a few other things, including some time just to hang and or play.

This is during the school year. In the summer she averages about 20 a week.

 

[GymMomA3R]

My 6 year old (just finished level 3) is doing 9 hours/week (3hrs/3x week) and ends at 8:30 each time. It was a little rough at first transitioning from 4 hours a week, but she adjusted just fine. She eats a light dinner before practice and then a light dinner on in the car on the way home.

I’m not going to sugar coat it, mornings after practice are rough and there are days I dress her for school while she’s still half asleep. I also wonder if I’m doing the right thing allowing her to focus on just one thing, but I’ve also seen her develop confidence, perseverance, and an amazing work ethic, things which will benefit her all through life.

Several moms in our gym suggested to me to just try it and see if it’s a right fit for your family... we had several girls try and then decided it was not for them, and a few parents that were weary at first but were glad they did it. Some level 4 girls tried doing 15 hours, but decided it wasn’t for them and dropped back to 12. Thankfully our gym is flexible and I don’t know if your gym is open to that.

Starting January they will be upping to 12 hours (4 hours/3x week) and I’m concerned how she will do without a break from school to practice... but coaches have told me if it’s too much for her, we can cut back on hours.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Starting January they will be upping to 12 hours (4 hours/3x week) and I’m concerned how she will do without a break from school to practice... but coaches have told me if it’s too much for her, we can cut back on hours.

For L3, thats just too much. JMO

 

[GymMomA3R]

For L3, thats just too much. JMO

Sorry... to clarify, that is for girls moving up to Level 4. We just finished up comp season/states

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Sorry... to clarify, that is for girls moving up to Level 4. We just finished up comp season/states

Ah I see now