WAG what expectations does one have with paying a mental coach?

[InbarSquirrel]

Have any of you that have spent hundreds of dollars for an online mental coach been disappointed when you met them in real life? At a recent meet a popular mental coach was wearing their “brand” on a jacket so I felt because they were advertising their service that they are approachable especially when I paid them $550 less than a year ago for six 20 min facetime sessions. I get that I caught her off guard but isn’t it the case that one should be on their “toes” if they are promoting themselves. Basically she didn’t remember speaking with my daughter. Maybe I'm just hurt that we had spent such an amount to have no instant recognition especially when the meet the mental coach was watching was hosted by my daughter's gym.

So now I’m skeptical of all this fluff stuff with “professionals” selling their mental coaching brand. Did those six sessions helped my daughter last spring….yeah but honestly I think my daughter would have worked through it if I had given her more time.

 

[MuggleMom]

I am sure in order to have a successful business as a mental toughness coach you have to have a significant number of people to help. It sounds like your daughter only had 6 sessions with her a year ago so I wouldn't expect her to remember her. I would be more concerned if I had her attention during the time I paid for it (like individualized attention not just cookie cutter stuff you can buy a book for) than if she rememebred me or my daughter when we werent using her servies. If you didnt doubt your investment before you met her why would you doubt it now? And if it did help your daughter (which it sounds like it maybe helped her get over it quicker though she may have gotten over it on her own given enough time?) you have to decide if quicker was worth the money and if not just dont pay for the help again. I thought about talking to one of the online mental toughness coaches this year and had some evaluative conversations with her--ultimately I didnt think I needed her help at this time but I would never say never. Skeptical is good but don't let it bring you down if you werent dissatisfied with your investment prior to meeting her in person.

 

[InbarSquirrel]

Thank you MuggleMom; your response was exactly what I needed to hear.

 

[Flyaway]

I think it's hard to discover that someone who had a big impact on you or your child doesn't have the same memory of you. It can sting quite a bit actually. The important thing to remember I think, is that she did help when help was needed. Is it a bummer she doesn't remember you or your dd? Yes. But that doesn't lessen the impact she made at the time.

Perhaps she could have been a bit more gracious, but I would probably let this one go. Hugs to you!

 

[Flicfliclay]

Question to would be how did she act when you approached her? Was she rude? That to me would be what made me mad or not. I don't think necessarily the fact that she remembered my child or not. It would make me mad if she was rude and not approachable and I had paid her that amount!

 

[2G1B]

I hear what the others are saying, but I'm also going to just say that if that is the business you are in that you should at a minimum be able to fake it.

And I'll say... Svetlana Bogenskya has remembered my girls every time that we have run into her at competitions, in that she even remembered their names with no prompting. She worked a tiny bit with them at flip fest 5+ years ago and then at her camp 3 years ago (there they mostly worked with other coaches). Neither of my girls are rock star gymnasts. So, some people do make a point to remember their clients. I can't fault those who don't, I'm awful at it myself, but I'm also not charging $250 per hour for my time...

 

[coachmolly]

I can see why you would be upset, that's a lot of money invested for a pretty personal service (not like an athletic trainer who taped her ankle a few times or something), I don't think it's too much to ask to at least remember a name and show some recognition. Even if she didn't remember the exact details of the interaction, I feel like recognizing the name and saying something generic like "oh yes, how is she doing?" would be the professional and polite thing to do. And something she should expect while wearing her brand name and attending a meet that likely has many previous clients.

 

[Pineapple_Lump]

I hear what the others are saying, but I'm also going to just say that if that is the business you are in that you should at a minimum be able to fake it.

This

 

[NutterButter]

It's not the way I would have handled it but I would give her the benefit of the doubt. The people I know who are in counseling related professions tend to be rather reserved individuals who feel put on the spot outside of their 'day job'. I know she was there as a representative of her brand but that doesn't necessarily mean she embraces the more public marketing stuff. Plus not everyone is good at thinking on their feet verbally (I am quite terrible at this). I do a lot of online webinars for my job and honestly I have a hard time remembering who all I've worked with especially if someone calls me months after our session. I'm cognizant of this because I know my clients likely remember me more than I remember them because they are coming to me for a service. I try to fake it and I generally do remember the individual once we start talking more when I can recall the specifics our our time together. I'm not defending her because I would have felt a little stung too just trying to provide a little insight from the other side.

 

[twinmomma]

Didn't we discuss at one point that this mental coach also defended those folks involved in the Nassar case? I feel like I'm not misremembering that. If so - for me I wouldn't even worry about what she remembered.

 

[mommyof1]

And I'll say... Svetlana Bogenskya has remembered my girls every time that we have run into her at competitions, in that she even remembered their names with no prompting. She worked a tiny bit with them at flip fest 5+ years ago and then at her camp 3 years ago (there they mostly worked with other coaches).

That is seriously amazing. I cannot imagine how many kids she’s worked with over the years and how many names she must have to remember. It is a really special thing for a kid to see that an adult she admires remembers and values her as an individual. We need more of that in this sport.

 

[NutterButter]

Didn't we discuss at one point that this mental coach also defended those folks involved in the Nassar case? I feel like I'm not misremembering that. If so - for me I wouldn't even worry about what she remembered.

Yes, I remember that! Is this the same person though? I' see sports psychologists at many meets but have never come across the one you are referring to.

 

[2G1B]

That is seriously amazing. I cannot imagine how many kids she’s worked with over the years and how many names she must have to remember. It is a really special thing for a kid to see that an adult she admires remembers and values her as an individual. We need more of that in this sport.

It honestly blows my mind that she manages to remember all of these kids, but I can attest to how much it means to my kids.

 

[rosettasmom]

some of these coaches meet with 15-20+ or more kids a week either online or in person and if she was perhaps caught off gaurd in that moment it could have been an awkward encounter. could she have also been there watching her own daughter? I'm not trying to make excuses, obviously she was representing her brand, but if she knew she hurt feelings I'd imagine she'd also be devastated. These people work tirelessly to build our girls up, I'm sure the lady thing they'd want is to find out they'd somehow caused hurt.