WAG When does a mental block need attention?

[munchkin3]

Any advice would be appreciated.
DD has had trouble with her BHS-BHS on beam. I have not really payed much attention to it, other than the occasional, 'don't worry, you'll get it' or 'keep trying, and don't give up'....
At what point do you think some intervention is needed? I have seen these things get worse and spread......

I understand she needs time to allow her body to process this skill. I HOPE the coach understands this problem, but at what point should a concerned parent make the gym aware that this may be a bit more than 'Suzy needs to just go for it'.....DD is becoming debilitated by this as it is determining ALL her other placement...
I have not brought this up with head coach yet.

 

[Ali'sMom]

Has she already gotten this skill and is now afraid?
Or can she just not really bring herself to attempt it?

 

[munchkin3]

She did it in July.....got to middle beam.....did it with a spot, and then with coach standing by, but no spot......then it went away.
She now can't do it on low beam, and sometimes has issues with the BHS on floor beam......NOTHING on high beam.
it was never 100% in.

 

[profmom]

I get the sense you think the gym isn't handling it as it should. Is that the case, or do you really just not know what's going on? I really have a lot of sympathy -- DD got stuck on beam stuff for two years and did not progress on her acro at all. It was a very difficult time, but she did finally get through it. I guess I am just not sure what kind of intervention on your part would be helpful. If it is vestibular -- and it sounds like it is -- I don't think anything can be done except for everyone to be patient and for her to work the backwards skills where she can do them.

 

[munchkin3]

No, I have no doubts with the gym, however I do sometimes wonder if one coach may be better at handling these issues over others. Some coaches are more junior than others.
The gym has a 'no spot' policy.....My DD could use one right now, however I understand the concept.

Just wondering if these problems require a bit more sensitivity and perhaps a different approach? I want to have a conversation with HC just to bring to his attention what she is saying to Mom and Dad......she says she feels hopeless....not good for a kid.
do I need to address this? or should I let the coach and the gym handle it?

 

[kris]

DD recently changed gyms, and a lot had to due with how her gym was handling a mental block with her back layout. She was terrified and her coach just yelled at her until she was more scared of him than the skill and would go for it. To the coach his approach was successful as she would do the skill --and for the record she HAD the skill, was actually competing and not scared of back fulls which are generally a harder skill -- but for her this approach was devastating. I talked to the gym that she was miserable, but nothing changed. Her confidence plumeted. The fear spead to other skills. She stopped being able to make herself do her front pass -- FHS-FLO-FT. She was scared of dismounts on beam and bars. She was in tears before practice, in tears after practice, said she wanted to quit. We talked her into trying a new gym, as from the outside it appeared it was this fear and the pattern that was established in dealing with the fear that was the problem not gymnastics in general. The second day at the new gym she told me that she ddint want to like it, but she couldn't help but love it as it is so much fun! The new gym worked with her and now she can do the skill, though it's still not a favorite. The new gym worked with Doc Ali over the summer and that was such a game changer for DD mentally. I don't know if/when you should get involved, but I would make sure she knows that you love her and are proud of her no matter what level she competes this year. This sport can be as hard mentally as it is physically. Hope the BHS-BHS comes back soon.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Any advice would be appreciated.
DD has had trouble with her BHS-BHS on beam. I have not really payed much attention to it, other than the occasional, 'don't worry, you'll get it' or 'keep trying, and don't give up'....
At what point do you think some intervention is needed? I have seen these things get worse and spread......

I understand she needs time to allow her body to process this skill. I HOPE the coach understands this problem, but at what point should a concerned parent make the gym aware that this may be a bit more than 'Suzy needs to just go for it'.....DD is becoming debilitated by this as it is determining ALL her other placement...
I have not brought this up with head coach yet.

There are two skills that are going to cause ultimate fear in most kids. The BHS BHS on beam and the level 9 release on bars. Honestly the coaches are already aware of this, as we go through it every year with the new generation. So stay out of it, and when DD comes home and says she feels hopeless, you give her this generic reply. "To fail is to not try, to not succeed is called practice, so keep working on it and in a few months we will laugh about it together". That's it. Just a reminder that talking to the head coach about a fear issue only puts more pressure on her,,,, and of course, they already know....

 

[munchkin3]

Coachp, The concern I have is that I know for a fact how HC handles these issues and i am NOT SURE how assistant coach is handling it. I think this young coach perhaps needs some direction from the HC?

If this was an issue where the coach dealing with the kid has extensive experience teaching young athletes and understands development, I would have no issue but the body languange I see in my DD when she is with this coach is different......I know you think if they are a coach they they know all these things, but I don't buy that idea especially from someone who has been there 6 months, and just got the optional beam girls in August......

My concern is not the coach or his/her qualifications......it is only that my DD is developing a block. Can intervention at this point avoid lengthy and painful process of a FULL blown problem, or can we nip this in the bud with some understanding and expertise from the coach.

 

[gymdog]

Are they pushing her to do it or is she pushing herself? I remember she is in level 6/7 so only a single BHS is needed. If the coach is just letting it go that may be why...it sounds like you aren't sure though. I think it would be appropriate to email the coach and say "hi, I have appreciated all your work this summer blah blah but Susie has recently been talking about a BHS BHS on beam a lot and expressing that she has a lot of fear and can't get it. I'm not sure if this is a skill she is training for competition or just one she wants to get. I just want to make sure she has the right information. Thanks!"

Just be nice and leave the ball in their court and they won't get offended.

Spotting probably won't help in this case so I would avoid thinking that or saying anything about it that might lead your daughter to think that is the solution. Doing something spotted on beam and the same skill unspotted is basically two different skills. spotting on beam is for shapes and position. It's better to use progressions, mats, and increasing height to build up confidence.

 

[munchkin3]

This is their philosophy.
I think I will drop a very general note to HC and basically mention that my DD is very blah blah blah, and that perhaps a one on one may help give her some confidence again. She really loves HC so this might help. If not, then it is only a time thing.....

I am not sure what level they are planning. I dont think they know either......

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Is she baulking ??? Or just afraid out of her mind.

 

[flowerchild]

Are they pushing her to do it or is she pushing herself? I remember she is in level 6/7 so only a single BHS is needed. If the coach is just letting it go that may be why...it sounds like you aren't sure though. I think it would be appropriate to email the coach and say "hi, I have appreciated all your work this summer blah blah but Susie has recently been talking about a BHS BHS on beam a lot and expressing that she has a lot of fear and can't get it. I'm not sure if this is a skill she is training for competition or just one she wants to get. I just want to make sure she has the right information. Thanks!"

Just be nice and leave the ball in their court and they won't get offended.

Spotting probably won't help in this case so I would avoid thinking that or saying anything about it that might lead your daughter to think that is the solution. Doing something spotted on beam and the same skill unspotted is basically two different skills. spotting on beam is for shapes and position. It's better to use progressions, mats, and increasing height to build up confidence.

I know, as a parent, it can be extremely difficult to watch your daughter struggle with a fear/mental block/vestibular problem. I am hearing that you have confidence in how HC is handling your daughter's training, but not so much confidence in AC.

Unfortunately, as gymdog pointed out, spotting likely won't help with this series - what WILL help is progressions starting with a line on the floor and working her way back up to the floor beam, medium beam, etc. It's hard as a parent to find out what's going on because we aren't supposed to discuss things with our gymnast (for fear of making it seem like it is more important to us!) but we want to be supportive of our daughters - AND we would like to make sure that our daughters UNDERSTAND the reasoning behind the 'no spot' rule and that they aren't being punished.

How about an email to the HC just expressing your concerns about things your daughter is saying and letting him know she is feeling defeated? HC can easily let your daughter know that she needs to work on her progressions until she is able to do the skill, what the expectations for her ultimately are, etc.

And tell your daughter that it isn't important to YOU that she do the skill. What's important to you is that she is HAPPY.

 

[Ali'sMom]

We recently went through a relatively short-lived fear of BWO on beam.
Two weeks ago DD fell, didn't get hurt, but got scared. Has had the skill for about 6 months, competed it at L5 scoreout meet last April.

The next morning after falling, she pretty much got in position on beam to do the BWO, hands up, foot in front, and stayed there. Scratched her arm, fixed her shorts, hands back up. Wiped her hands on her shorts, adjusted her feet, hands back up. Through the whole rotation.
HC was not there, but this coach contacted her and asked what to do. HC said to have her do 3 on low beam, then crank it ever so slightly up and do one more. That IS what this coach said to DD, but not quite like that. Or at least that's not how it was perceived. Eventually DD did them. After sobbing and hyperventilating. She finished and couldn't wait to get home. Red faced. Upset. a MESS.
The practice, HC worked with her, with a different tone. One week later, DD is doing her full routine on all the beams, with her BWO.

My point is, yes, differences in coaches' handling can make a difference.

I'm still not telling you whether or not to talk with HC, I'm just saying that tactics can be different, and can have different outcomes.

Good luck to your daughter!!!

 

[munchkin3]

Thanks Alismom.....I think you have answered my concern. The WAY it is handled is very important.
I talked briefly to DD about it on the way to practice. I asked her if she fell, or had any issue...she said no....a few weeks ago everything was going fine, she worked up from floor to medium beam several times with encouragement, and coach standing there....she said she was feeling very motivated and was fine......Then the next day it was gone, no good feelings, no motivation.....no attention.....just off to the side feeling helpless.....(yeah, I know what you are thinking.....what a baby!) but she is 10 and it's scary!!!!!
This has been the dominating feeling for weeks.......
I reminded her of what she CAN do, and how she CAN begin from the ground again....to persevere, not to give up......if this mixed with some extra sensitivity from coach, I pray it will help.....
She loves AC....she has no issues with AC....., or HC so that's good to know. Let's see what happens tonight.
I think she is scared mostly.

 

[kayjaybe]

I don't think a single parent here... at least any that have kids L5 and above....would think "what a baby."

Listen, this might be her first major fear, but it probably won't be the last. My dd has had fear issues off & on....and off....and on, and on, and on....on a variety of events for the past few years. It was SO hard to not let her see me be anxious along with her. There are times that it probably came through.

There were skills she had, then lost. She struggled with the giant on bars for the past 2+ years (see my post on that). I thought she had conquored it when she actually medaled on bars at L7 states! Nope....lost it this summer and was balking most of the summer. She's now doing double giants and getting ready to compete L8.

What worked best was patience, progressions, and time. That time might be 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months....or 2 years.

It is hard, but if you've trusted the coaches until now, keep trusting them. She will get through it!

 

[UnoMas]

Sometimes the worst thing you can do is pay attention to a mental block...
If she doesn't need it for this season, then the best thing might be, as others have said, is keep her doing progressions on floor/floor beam/low beam, a million of them, with no pressure to move it up higher.
I have seen kids whose blocks on one backwards skill and who are stressed out about the need to get that skill have their blocks spread to all backwards skills on floor, beam, bars, everything. In this situation I would say the less attention that your DD knows about, the better. If you want to have a private conversation with the coach about it, then do, but I'd try not to involve DD or let her know about it. Good luck. Mental blocks are tough!!!!!

 

[ZJsMom]

If she doesn't need it, why not work on a different series for now. Maybe she'll come back to it next year with no issues.

 

[munchkin3]

Agreed.....I don't know.......I need to ask HC

 

[Gymprincess]

Being a gymnast who has struggled with confidence and on and off fear for the last few years I would really recommend trying to do some sessions with a sports psychologist. I was initially opposed to this idea when my coach first mentioned it because I want really a "fear kid" but it has helped tremendously! Doc Ali (Alison Arnold) is probably the best sports psychologist for gymnasts (in my opinion) and she has tons of experience with similar situations! I have done her webcamp, workbook program, and individual Skype sessions at one time or another and I have been able to overcome multiple mental blocks and even just little issues when I'm doubting myself. If you can't do doc Ali ask your head coach if he/she knows any good sports psychologists in your area! Hope this helps and good luck to your dd

 

[wallflower]

No, I have no doubts with the gym, however I do sometimes wonder if one coach may be better at handling these issues over others. Some coaches are more junior than others.
The gym has a 'no spot' policy.....My DD could use one right now, however I understand the concept.

Just wondering if these problems require a bit more sensitivity and perhaps a different approach? I want to have a conversation with HC just to bring to his attention what she is saying to Mom and Dad......she says she feels hopeless....not good for a kid.
do I need to address this? or should I let the coach and the gym handle it?

Did you change gyms? You said she did it with a spot in July but the gym has a no spotting policy. So perhaps that philosophy will take some time to adjust to if she was previously spotted.

Maybe it's just not a skill she is ready for? That series takes some kids a long time.