Parents Advice for overcoming fear

[sarah618]

First time poster here…My daughter is struggling with the fear of doing giants without a coach by her side. What advice do you give your child on how to get over it? I’ve never done gymnastics so I have no personal experience to pull from. I know she can do it and she knows she can do it but the fear takes over and she stops every time. Thank you!!!

 

[mezzamare]

Honestly? I mostly try to stay out of the process on things like this. As they move up and start training the scarier skills (and I think giants qualifies as one of these), I think the mental component is best dealt with like everything else: in the gym, by the coaches.

That said, of course it comes up at home, so I just addressed it like any other life lesson: stay patient, stay focused, keep chipping away at it, the skill will come when it comes so just make sure you're ready... that sort of thing. Sometimes I remind her of past struggles she overcame successfully ("Remember how much you struggled with your cartwheel on beam? You're great at those now!") That sort of thing.

My advice is embrace your role as cheerleader, and leave specific advice to the people whose wisdom and experience you pay for, lol.

 

[GymmomtoA]

My daughter has a similar fear with flyaways. She can do them perfectly but needs a coach standing there to even attempt them. It's helped her tremendously to have privates to address this specific skill so that she doesn't feel the pressure she might feel in regular practice with her teammates watching and trying to get through rotations quickly.

I don't know if your daughter is a young enough age where she will be open to this but mine read this book by the author Melisa Torres who wrote the Perfect Balance Gymnastics series, called Overcoming Mental Blocks. She went through the exercises which she found helpful. You can find it on Amazon.

Finally this podcast PerformHappy by performance coach Rebecca Smith addresses how to manage all kinds of mental challenges:


Good luck!

 

[Dahlialover]

Sometimes, focusing on solving a problem actually makes it grow. I think the best thing is to help her give herself permission to go ahead an have her coach stand there for as long as she feels like she needs it. Even Simone Biles needs her coach to stand there for some skills. If there’s a deduction for it, who cares? Some kids need to keep the training wheels on for a lot longer than other kids and that’s okay! Often, it’s only when the pressure is totally removed that the fear can work itself out. Good luck!

 

[GymmomtoA]

I agree with that too, I guess it depends on the gymnast and the situation. But my daughter’s fears were recurring (her skills would come and go based on fears and sometimes led to regression) and I wanted to help equip her with tools to manage those fears before they became a bigger ordeal and skills became even scarier as she progressed through the levels. Also depending on the coaching some are not as patient and might be willing to stand there for weeks but not months for skills she knows how to do. In Simone’s case I believe her coach stood there more for safety and not really because Simone was scared to do the vault. If she were truly scared and felt it was unsafe she wouldn’t make herself attempt it, right?

 

[sarah618]

Thanks everyone! I try not to get too involved but when she comes home upset I’ve been struggling with the right words to say. I’m looking into that podcast for her- she’s in high school so the book recommendation was too young for her.
It seems like her coach is patient with her to a point… and I try to explain to her that her coach wouldn’t let her do something unsafe. But you’re right- why not just take a deduction if that’s what gets her there?