Anon Coach being a bully. Other coaches excusing it

[Anonymous (3848)]

our gym is small. The optional team has 2 coaches. One of them the past year has been distant and grumpy. The last few months he has shown a obvious favorite in the highest level gymnast (jo8), she is excused from conditioning, not yelled at, etc. The coach has gotten worse the past few months saying hurtful and malicious thing even making kids cry and leave training. We finally decided to report him (anonymously)and nothing was done. A few weeks later there was another incident that violated the code and we reported him again along with other gymnasts. It got put in his file and he was formally talked to. The news of him somehow got out to other coaches and was being talked about. Coaches were saying they didn’t know why someone would do that, that he cared about us he just wasn’t showing it, that he just had a lot on his plate, that he had gotten a bit better so it was fine, etc.
Is this ok/normal? What should I do?

 

[Anonymous (0c9a)]

Coaches were saying they didn’t know why someone would do that, that he cared about us he just wasn’t showing it, that he just had a lot on his plate, that he had gotten a bit better so it was fine, etc.
Is this ok/normal? What should I do?

If you have issues in your life it does not give you the excuse to treat others poorly. This behavior is not acceptable from a coach and it sounds like the eventual action was warranted. If the other coaches essentially knew his behavior was undesirable/wrong and cared about this coach they could have taken action to prevent it getting to this point.
The fact that other staff have seen and tried to justify the behavior is a red flag that you may never get true change long term. I would be keeping a very close eye on the situation while investigating new gyms.

 

[Anonymous (896b)]

No, this is not OK; you've reported the coach twice and nothing has changed; get out ASAP.

 

[marym]

this is not acceptable behaviour at all. There is never an excuse to bully and yell at kids. It's so frustrating because this type of behaviour gets reported and no one does anything about it. I have a similar situation at our gym and we are actually moving to a new gym - it's to the point where my daughter breaks down anytime she has to go train because the environment is so awful and the toxic coaching has made all the kids miserable and they're being awful to each other too. It sounds like your gym and the other coaches are making excuses for bad behaviour and not dealing with it. I'd honestly be thinking about moving to another gym if it's not properly dealt with. Good luck!

 

[Anonymous (3848)]

No, this is not OK; you've reported the coach twice and nothing has changed; get out ASAP.

Thank you. It is a small town with no other gyms within an hour drive otherwise I would have already left.

 

[Anonymous (4fef)]

Thank you. It is a small town with no other gyms within an hour drive otherwise I would have already left.

oh no. That's a bummer. I hope it gets better